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Louis love?

Club

http://www.polyvore.com/daily_find_iris_top/set?id=80541547
this is katies outfit!
katies pov:
i walked out the house and they just stared. "Guys you ok?" "GUY YOU OK?" I yelled. They just nodded there heads. I begged louis for the key and eventually he gave in. "Everyone buckled?" I asked. They didnt answer so i took that as a yes. I started the car and pressed the gas louis said " wow katie you look beautiful!" I thanked him and told him he looked nice too.
*30 mins later*
i parked a block away from the club cuz it was so packed. When we finally got in the first place i headed was the bar and lizzy and louis followed. We had three beers each and then we ordered one more for each of us and headed to the couch lizzy sat by louis and louis sat by me. Then too stangers sat by me and lizzy i could tell louis was gettin jealous by the way he tensed up. So anyway *
13 beers later*
we were playing truth or dare. Jack( bar stranger) asked me thruth or dare? I look at him and pretendended to think "um can i pick both?" He said yes. "Ok is it true you a virgin?" " um no its not actually" they looked shocked and they asked " who was it" i simply said " sorry boys i dont kiss and tell" and i winked at them. Then i said " whats my dare" hesaid " I DARE YOU TO TAKE OF YOUR SHIRT" and with that my shirt was on the floor. I looked over and saw louis getting hard so i scooted over and was sitting on him. He had gotten even hder so i pulled him on the dance floor and started grinding on him. He turned me around and smashed his lips to mine, i was shocked at first then our lips started to move in sync. His tongue traced my bottom lip asking for and intrance. I granted him his request and soon our tongues were battling for dominance and of course his won. I had whispered " since you won i have a prize for you. And with that he picked me up and carried me to the car and lizzy awkwardly followed. During the car ride we couldnt keep our hands away from each other. He had parked the car and lizzy went unlocked the door and walked in louis on the other hand picked me up and kissed me while walking us to his room. He layed me down and went to the bathroom while he was in there i striped down and layed back down he came out completely naked and had a condom in his hand. He looked at me and stared "waaattt?" I asked him. All he said was " damn im gonna fuck the shit out of you" i giggled at his commen

Notes

Part 1

Comments

Oh okay lol whew! Im not used to giving feedback but I was told in order to be a good writer not only do I need to accept feedback but I need to give feedback lol
@Chanel_Needs_1D
Im not taking it the wrong way i love hearing feedback frim you guys it makes me a better writer
Makayla_horan Makayla_horan
7/3/13
Welcome, and again please don't take that the wrong way, I loved it :) I just wanted to help out a little...
@Chanel_Needs_1D
Thanks and ill try to better with my new story!
Makayla_horan Makayla_horan
7/3/13
Umm dint take this the wrong way, I lived the storyline, like how you had the plan going ant things...I just think you rushed it a bit too much....it felt too rushed, like there was no relax moments, all of them were sooo intense....I feel like, if you were to add some relaxed parts that build up suspicion, maybe you wouldn't have gotten bored?