THE DEATH OF ME

The ride to Harry's is silent. I was excited and yet terrified at the same time of staying alone with him on his territory, away from what I know. We drive across town to the far end of it, where all the rich stuck up people live and I don't know why it never crossed my mind to think that Harry might live there. Truth is I never let it cross my mind or think where he might be living at all.

Harry stops the car in front of a white Victorian house, made into fancy apartments, and I peek up at it through the window.
"What do you think?" He questions, killing off the engine and opening the door, reaching for my bags behind.

"It's.. it's something," I can't really find the words to describe it.

"Wait until you see the inside," He chuckles, and I get out of the car and follow him.
When I step in the flat I am presently surprised. I was afraid Harry's flat would be just like you would think the rest of the houses around here would look like- extravagant and over done.
But no.

He had wood floors and a whit kitchen. He had an eggshell colour couch, a dark shaggy carpet, with a dark coffee table on it. A flat screen was placed on the wall across, with a cabinet underneath that held a dvd, X-box, movies and games.

The place was clean and warm, even though there was not much around.
"I only moved in last week, so I am still in boxes," Harry points to a pile of boxes on the side.
"Oh.. It's really nice," I offer, and he nods, heading towards the room in the back.
"Are you coming or what?" He calls and I follow his voice.

"The bathroom is over there, and there are towels and stuff over in there," He points.
"And this is my room," He opens the door.
A big bed is placed in the middle of the room, with big windows on the side walls. His bed sheets were black, and he had the same shaggy carpet as me. He had a black closet, but the sliding doors were mirror doors, which made the big room seem even bigger. There was a desk with a laptop that sat closed and a chair tucked in.

"There is room in the closet for you to hang up clothes if you want to," He slides one of the doors, to find some empty shelves and some hanging space. I note Harry's black and white clothes pushed to the side. Could it be he was planning for me to stay with him before I said so to my teacher?

"Well then," Harry says and leaves me alone in the room.
I am not sure what to do, I stand and look at my surroundings. There is nothing personal in this place, in this whole flat, or so it seems.

I open my bag and take out the clothes I brought with me, hanging up my two dresses and uniforms, folding the rest and leaving it on a shelf.

Once I am done, I decide to take a shower. I start to collect the things I might need, when I realize I forgot to bring with me something to sleep in. I don't want to ask Harry for clothes, but I can't really sleep in a skirt or jeans.

"Harry?" I stride back to the living room, finding him spread on the couch the telly on low, him watching of course- the sports channel, a race on screen.
"Yeah?" He doesn't even look up at me.

"I need a shirt or something to sleep in, since I forgot to pack my own," I mumble. His head snaps up at me, and a cheeky grin appears. He pushes himself up, walking back to the room. I notice he is in black socks, his shoes off.

"Here you go," Harry hands over a white undershirt and boxers.
I can feel my cheeks reddening but I decide to just take it without complaining.
"Thanks," I whisper, and head to the bathroom, my toiletry bag in hand.

Harry has black or white towels in a brown closet. It's the only coloured thing in the bathroom, unless you count the shampoo and soap bottles.
I step in, letting the hot water run over me.

Excitement started to take place. I was at Harry's. Harry the racer. The one who claims he wants to date me! Me! Not some fancy rich girl, me! Nobody Cassie.

I slip on the shirt and boxers, which are both big. The shirt gets down to the middle of my thighs and for the first time in my life I am happy I'm so short.

After brushing my hair and teeth, I head back to look for Harry. He is on the phone to someone, so I decide to go back to the room. I lay on the bed deciding to get some homework done at least until Harry decides to pay me some attention.

I can't manage to get any done, my mind taking me back to Harry every single time.
At first I disliked him thinking he was a stuck up, full of himself, obnoxious, pretty face lad. But as I got to know him better, and hung out with him more things changed. I still think he is obnoxious and rude, but he is far from stuck up and he is not full of himself at all, remembering the way he walked out to his car during the race. Only thinking of him makes my heart rate jump, and I am sure my face has redden.

"What?"
I jump looking sideways at Harry, who was leaning against the doorframe watching me, his hands crossed over his chest.
"You gave me a fright!" I accuse him, sitting up.
"What were you thinking of that made you go red in the face?" He inquires and I feel the heat rise even more.

"I was thinking how obnoxious you can be," I say, leaving the other part out.
"That's what made you blush so badly?" He smirks, knowing I am keeping something from him.
"Well, no.." I mumble, hating myself for letting him have such effect on me.
"So? Tell me!" He demands.

"I was thinking that you are sort of handsome, and how it doesn't make sense that you would want to be with me," the words tumble out, knowing he will make me tell him anyway so it might as well be fast, just get it over with.

"You think I am sort of handsome?" His cheeky grin's back, and he steps closer sitting himself on the bed next to me.
"Why doesn’t it make sense to you? I've told you I want to try this, I want you," He tells me in a serious tone.

"But that's the thing, I am not sure how it works, but I am quite positive it doesn't work this way.. There are dates, and stuff before sleeping together and kissing," I decide to be truthful and speak my mind, knowing that it’s the first step I need to take if I want this to last.
"Is that the thing? You want me to take you out?" He cocks a brow.
"Well no, I just wanted to make sure you're not playing games with me," I mumble, feeling embarrassed.

Harry cups my cheeks, pulling my face closer to him.
"Cassie, look at me- I am not playing games with you. I want this. I am 100% in this, if it's what you want too,"

I nod to that, but he won't have it, wanting to hear me say it.
"I want this too," I breathe, and he lets me go.

He walks out and I can hear the shower going. A few moments later, he is back, his curls wet, and he has only black boxers on. He climbs into bed next to me, moving my books to the bedside.

"I'm not done with that yet," I say, pulling my history book back.
"Fine," He sighs getting under the covers, his back to me.
I roll my eyes at him, and open the book on my lap, as I lean back onto the headboard.
The little lamp gives me light, and I hope it doesn't bother Harry.

"Harry?" I whisper to him. He turns his head slightly to me.
"Is the light bothering you?"
"No," His back is turned back at me and I can't help but feel as if I did something wrong, while I sit in bed watching the back of Harry's head instead of studying.

Even wet and spread on the bed, his curls are perfect. I reach out and touch a lock, feeling how smooth it is between my fingertips.

Harry's head turns to me once again, making me jump back.
"Sorry, I don't know why I did that," I bit my bottom lip, my fingers jump to my own hair.
Harry studies me, his eyes careful, when he pulls my hand and places it on the top of his head.
"Do it again," He orders, and I do, even though I hate that tone of his, demanding of me. I couldn't help myself, wanting to touch him. I run my fingers through his hair as his eyes look over my face.
Just his gaze manages to spick some colour in my cheeks, and the smirk is back on his lips. He reaches out and grabs the book from my lap, moving his head in its place, hugging my thighs between his arms, as I glare at his beautiful profile, frozen in place.

Harry doesn't seem to mind my state at all, pulling my hand back to his curls, and closing his eyes. I get over myself, letting my fingers run on his scalp, the smell of the shampoo stronger now that we both used it.

I haven't cracked the subject of Harry yet, but I was ready and willing to find out. Deciding that watching him as he sleeps is a new favorite thing to do, to see the change in his face, the anger and tightness in his features disappear, as a younger Harry emerges, a younger, calmer, and care free Harry.

I can tell he has fallen asleep, and I slid down trying my best not to wake him. He stirs in his sleep, his arms and head moving from my lap to my chest, and for just a split moment, my breath catches, from the weight of him, and the fear I might have woken him. When I see he's still fast asleep I switch off the light, and rest one of my palms on the back of Harry's head, the feeling of adoration taking over.

This must be the best feeling ever. To have someone wrap themselves around you this way, and fall asleep, letting their guard down, trusting you fully.

When I am about to fall asleep I hear Harry mumble "I will take you out on a date," And I am not sure if I had really heard it or dreamt it, but it brings a smile to my face nonetheless, wondering what a real date with Harry would be like. Would he be his stubborn self? Ordering me around and demanding? Or would he be like the playful smiling Harry I have seen glimpses of? Slowly but surely I am getting sucked into this life with Harry Styles, getting used to his smirks and sly looks, his rudeness, and demands, his hidden caring nature and his touch, though something deep inside of me keeps nagging at me.

Is this me just getting used to him being around? Or is this me falling for him? And then there is the part of him leaving. He will leave. Liam told me the racers move around a lot, finding the next big thrill. Or he might just get tired of me, which is a big possibility, after all I'm just a small town girl, and he is this untouchable star. I can't fall for him, and I can't get used to him being around. I shell have fun while it lasts, but I will guard my heart, not wanting to find out what it feels like once it breaks. I fall asleep with a heavy chest, but a set mind.

I will be all right. I will.

Notes

Hi wonderful people.
How are you? How's your week been so far?
Wanted to thank you again for the lovely comments!
I hope you like this new update, let me know what you think!
xx