The Night I Met Harry

PAST

Harry’s POV:

I can feel the morning here but for whatever reason I just lie there. My conscious attempts to travel backward to the events of the previous night but the overdrinking seemed to have prevented that. There’s a draft in the room hinting that Winter had likely gotten too warm during the night again. If I was honest I hadn’t even remembered coming back here last night and she’d probably get on me about being late. The pillow’s quite soft but there’s nothing that can really prevent the drawback once I’d lifted myself up. It’s the only thing preventing me from moving from my current position but I knew I should probably quit putting it off and go make her breakfast. Maybe it would put her in a better mood before my stern talking to. I shift about a little trying to shake the heaviness my eyelids forces me with. I swear it’s the worst feeling. My hands go to reach for her while my eyes finally welcome the room. Immediately I snatch myself upright. The thump occurs in my head that I’ve dreaded since waking while I try to piece together where I am. My hands go to cover my face as if this was just a horrible dream I had yet to wake up from. I’m either still drunk or going a little insane from the hangover.


I look beside me when a small movement causes a stir in the bed. She's completely naked with the exception of the sheet and ‎panic is stuck in my throat. It then becomes clear to me I'm in as much clothing as she is and with that I close my eyes in defeat.

Harry:
"Oh fuck."

I'm nauseous from something put rather not ponder it right now.

Harry:
"Fuck, fuck, fuck."

I shake her awake ‎quite aggressively and she startles immediately.

Jessie:
"What's wrong?"

She mumbles still in a zombie-like state, eyes only half open and hair messy about her head. I pull my legs off the side of the bed and ‎bury my head heavily onto my hands again.

Harry:
‎"...Tell me nothing happen. Nothing happened right?"

I feel weird even asking her such a thing and a little violated from being so close to her a second ago. She pulls herself together before starting. She doesn’t seem as surprised as I am and I’m not sure just yet how to feel about that.

‎Jessie:
"Harry-"

Harry:
"Just answer the fucking question! Yes or no?"

My hands are trembling a bit with the mistake I've just made. I almost don't want confirmation.

Jessie:
"Well, I thought you wanted to. You were getting yourself so drunk last night, I thought maybe something was off with you and Winter.”

I get up angered at myself, snatching from the sheet and getting dressed promptly. Why the fuck am I here when I didn’t even remember seeing her last night? It made no sense. My heads spinning rapidly at the trouble I've just landed myself in. I turn punctually when the phone buzzes on the nightstand table.

Harry:
“Don’t say a thing.”

I speak seriously to her. Jesus, I think to myself, and become nervous before clearing my throat to answer.



Harry:
"Goodmorning, Mrs. Rylie."

Linda:
"Goodmorning, Harry. We need to talk."

My skin seems to prick from the inside while I hold closely to her voice in guilt.

Linda:
"She's not happy. You didn’t come home again? What's going on?"

I leave the room away from Jessica to just outside the hall. In a way I’m glad she’s called because if there was someone I could vent this to and help fine reason it was her mother. She was honestly better than my own to me. I just hoped she wouldn’t consider this too far and disconnect the call.

Harry:
"I've just made...a really bad mistake."

She pauses with wisdom as often she does to process my tone closely.

Linda:
"…How bad?"

--

PRESENT

Winter’s POV:

Mason:
"Here, try this one."

We're seated on the floor of my half emptied room. White sheets hang over most of the pieces to ready them for being moved soon. He places the pastel between my fingers as I pull my knees into my chest beneath the oversized shirt. I move it over the canvas we're experimenting with; just happy I have a sense of creativity again.

We're shoulder to shoulder and I find myself getting emotionally closer to him. It seemed like a great friendship because of this big part of me we had in common. I remember being so shy about it all. I still kind of was but there was a select few I'd let that guard down with.

Winter:
"I hope you don't work tomorrow. It's getting pretty late already."

I turn toward him and he's giving that intense eye contact that seems to be apart of his personality. I got the hint a while ago that he was just a great listener, another reason I was never really oppose to him being around so much lately.

Mason:
"I'm off until next week, actually. And there's nothing else to do."

Winter:
"Oh is that what I'm for? Killing time?”

Mason:
“Come on, you know that’s not-“

Winter:
“Nope, my feelings are really hurt.”

I break character to giggle at the fact that he’d really been taking me seriously to a point. He tries prying back the chalk from me playfully.

Winter:
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Relax."

I pull the opposite arm in my shirt as well when the room becomes chiller from the open window.

Mason:
"If you're cold, why leave the window open?"

Winter:
"Hey, don't judge alright. It helps for whatever reason.”

When I’m around him it feels like I haven’t lost who I used to be. I didn’t feel weak or translucent, and he seemed to be the only person my personality surfaced for these days. It grows silent as the dark chalk strokes the paper and his hands move against my arm to warm it. He watches what I’m doing closely.

Mason:
"...you're so much better than me. It's humbling."

I smile but don’t entirely agree.

Winter:
"You have to stop saying that."

Mason:
"It's true. You just are."

Winter:
“I don't get why you say that, Mason. I'm such a fan of you."

I turn to look over his tattoos that leave little exposed skin to his arms and upside of his hands. He's examining me the way he does again and I find myself breaking away from it for obvious reasons.

Mason:
"What?"

I look down at my socks briefly before shuffling through the box of supplies again.

Winter:
"Nothing."

Mason:
"Why do you always look away?"

I get lost in thought and rather let the question go unanswered because we both knew the answer to that. He sighs before pulling over his book to the right of him and flipping through to something.

Mason:
"See."

I take it and goosebumps surface when I see striking green eyes looking back at me. It was my face, but only half drawn. I stare for awhile taken by how it fades out smoothly I assume until working on the rest of me. I feel completely in awe of him as I reluctantly give it back.

Winter:
"...That's beautiful Mason."

I find the courage to actually give him that visual attention he wants rather than shyly avoid it.

Mason:
"...you are to me."

His voice is deep and consoling to my ears. I feel somewhat of a spark in my chest at the compliment I never seemed mature enough to take from anyone. I choose not to decline him this time as he moves closer. It becomes intimate when his hand moves to touch gently around the structure of my face. I never allowed myself to admit how attractive he was to me. Not to mention how good of a person he was.

Mason:
“Do I make you nervous?”

So it was obvious?

Winter:
“…very nervous…”

But I wasn’t entirely sure why. The conversation or open dialogue I could take because he was so easy to talk to… but the affectionate part of him was a different story.


It’s not too long after the thought that he touches his lips to mine. He takes the lead and his fingers pull me closer causing me to fall into it. The air is still blowing in from the window but I find that this works as a good contrast. I allow myself to fully have the experience. It's different. Still warm but filled with a different scent. It has a different dynamic and different emotions were seeping through. He’s quite cautious as if I were fragile or prone to be broken easily. I only really realize what I'm doing when his tongue gives a different level to the moment. It's been a good amount of time and I hear the wind dancing its way around the house during our embrace. I find myself pulling away abruptly with the thought of moving further than this simple kiss. I wondered if accepting it was the best decision. Space is brought between he and I when I think of Harry. He would never know how much I hated him for having this unspoken hold on me that I seemed to always conform to, whether he were here or not. And though I couldn’t stand the thought of being his anymore I certainly couldn’t with being anyone else’s either.

Mason:
"I shouldn't have...I'm sorry.”

I let my face fall onto my knees that are still pulled into me like a child. I didn’t mind him being around because he always made things a little better. Maybe it was just me and I was over-thinking it. The average guy never really cared for anything serious with a girl they were attracted to anyways, so maybe I’d just leave it at that.

Mason:
"Don't be mad, Winter."

Winter:
"I'm not..."

Mason:
“…to soon?”

He's back to removing my arms of the cold and roaming his touch to my back in an up and down motion.

Mason:
"Hey..."

He encourages, and I can’t get over how much of a sweetheart he is about this. My feelings are so reserved but he never seems to mind. I find it in me to look over at him again after my time of recollection. A few breathes was all I needed, I guess.

I move in for a peck to show him I’m alright and take note of the expression of surprise.

Winter:
“It’s okay.”

--


Another day is coming to an end, and he opens the door for me to get out of the car after spending some time with him. I had to admit that my dull feelings were fading and I was beginning to feel okay as the norm again.

Mason:
“I’ll call you later, alright?”

I see Harry’s car in the driveway but choose not to care too much. He holds onto my hand as we walk up toward the house I’ll be selling soon. It’s actually interesting to know that he makes me a little anxious and I find myself looking downward toward the ground when we reach the door.

Winter:
“Okay. I had fun.”

He gives me the kiss he seems to have waited for all day and hugs me into him directly following it. I kind of liked how I didn’t have to explain how complicated my life was with him…He always seemed to just kind of know. He’s rubbing my hands together in his and blowing warm air from his mouth into them.

Mason:
“Now go, you’re freezing. And tell Riley I said hello.”

I withdraw as he says after watching until he reaches the car. Someone I sense my mood shifting modes as I enter. The house is warm and Harry’s there with her in his arms as always. It’s obvious why she’s so spoiled. He shakes the bottle to stir the ingredients and place it to her lips.

Winter:
“Sorry. I would have been here, why didn’t you call?”

Harry:
“…Well, I rung the doorbell. Your car is here. I thought you were too and maybe you were asleep or something.”

I guess that made sense.

Winter:
“Oh, okay…How are things?”

I removed my coat and walk towards them.

Winter:
“Did you eat today?”

He nods but I feel like he’s only telling me what I want to hear. Though we’ve come to an understanding that we have little to do with each other’s lives outside of her, this technically qualified as such. I may not like him very much but he had to stay healthy for her, as did I.

Winter:
“And how are you sleeping? Did she give you trouble.”

Harry:
“She’s always great…”

Winter:
“So you slept?”
I’m seeing him here in front of me and I already understand the answer despite his lack of response.

Harry:
“She’s not the reason I don’t sleep…but it’s fine, alright? Don’t worry yourself about it.”

Winter:
“You’re staying again.”

And it wasn’t a question.

Harry:
“I’m okay, really.”

Winter:
“Harry, you got her three days ago. It’s completely unacceptable to not have slept since then. Don’t argue with me.”

I don’t think he understood how bad that was. If he kept it up, between not eating and being so restless he’d pass out any day now.

Harry:
“..Won’t he have a problem with that?”

It wasn’t until that statement that I realized he could have seen the kiss. It makes me a little uncomfortable to know but I don’t steer away from the topic.

Winter:
“He doesn’t have a say.”
--

It was pretty late and I was again snug into his arms. It’s quiet with Riley asleep and the room in darkness.

Winter:
“You’re losing weight, Harry.”

I wasn’t stupid and I knew that somehow having me here brought him some kind of peace. For that reason he always slept just fine and I didn’t have to live with guilt of being the reason he lost sleep at night. But I wouldn’t do this forever that was for sure, and I’d be asking Dr. Horan about possible sleep aids specifically for him when he woke tomorrow.

Harry:
“…So are you.”

But even if it were a bite of toast, I tried for Riley. If I were irritable from my lack of food consumption I knew I’d never have the patience for her.

Winter:
“It’s unhealthy to go days without sleeping.”

Harry:
“So you don’t?”

Winter:
“Sleeping pills…Their kind of mild, so they just relax me and I won’t have to worry about not hearing her if she cries. You should try them.”
Harry:
“…Okay.”

I wondered why he was so obedient about it but didn’t question it further. A little while had gone before his voice entered the room again.

Harry:
“I thought it was nothing between you and him.”

I knew the topic wouldn’t go untouched.

Winter:
“…Yea, me too.”

Harry:
“So you’re together?”

Winter:
“No.”

Harry:
“Then what is it, cause he’s pretty affectionate with you.”

I sigh uncomfortably, just hating the slight implication of what he’d been asking.

Winter:
“We’re not having sex.”

I blurt out rather than face the awkward spin he’s just put on things.

Harry:
“Okay…but are you thinking about it?”

Weird. Really weird.

Harry:
“…it’s fine, you don’t have to answer.”

Winter:
“No, I’m not thinking about it Harry.”

Harry:
“Okay.”

Winter:
“No more questions, yea?”

He nods and pulls me closer but I’m completely numb to him. I feel like nothing more than a prop but it had to be done I guess. I had to realize at some point that I didn’t have to be the good person all of the time because I wasn’t the cause of our dysfunction.

Winter:
“Will you try to sleep now?”

Harry:
“Mm hm,”

--

I get the door and I’m greeted by the deliverer with a bouquet of flowers. I wipe my eyes of sleep and take them with a smile. My signature is given before sitting them down and shutting the door back. He watches with her upright in his arms.

Harry:
“Mason?”

One awkward moment after another.

Winter:
“Yea,”

I reply after reading the card. He smiles but with sarcasm. I can tell it’s annoyance and not because he’s at all pleased.

Harry:
“I had to have sent you more than a dozen of those and you sent them all away.”

Winter:
“Yea, and we both know why.”

He sits her down securely before facing me full on.

Harry:
“Winter, I was sorry. I’m still sorry, how could you just ignore that for so long?”

Winter:
“I don’t want to talk about this. I’m not ignoring you now, so just drop it.”

Harry:
“Whatever, you just better not bring him around her.”

It was a little too early to be making demands and his tone didn’t sit right with me.

Winter:
“I’ll do whatever I want, she’s my daughter. And he’s not a bad guy.”

Harry:
“You heard me, Winter.”

Winter:
“And she’s not to be around any of your girlfriends either.”

I fold my arms and focus on not raising my voice. I hated the back and forth of this same stupid topic.

Harry:
“The only person that’s been hooking up with anyone between the two of us is you.”

He’s bracing himself the way he’d done the other night when I had to all but force him to eat. He then begins walking in the direction of the door where his shoes and keys are waiting for him.

Winter:
“Harry, don’t. You don’t seem well.”

I go to stop him but he’s unwilling.

Harry:
“Don’t touch me, just-leave me alone.”

He bites and I don’t know what else there is to do. Before I know it he’s gone and I find myself crying for the hundredth time since leaving him. Just Riley and I again…

--

Almost a week now and he hadn’t once called or stopped by to see her. I told myself I didn’t care because it took a lot to do what I did and still remain in touch with life. Whatever, things were way over anyways so it didn’t really matter now. I look down as she smiles and gives me those dimples I can’t bring myself to stare away from. That is until a disturbance from my phone draws my attention away.

Winter:
“Hey.”

I constantly run over in my mind what she could want with me.

Anne:
“Winter. I know that you’re upset with Harry, but why haven’t you been to see him?”

Winter:
“Actually he just usually comes for Riley every week.”

Anne:
“I ask him about you, but you know how he is. He doesn’t exactly tell me much. But at a time like this surely you would-I mean he could have been seriously hurt.“

Winter:
“I’m sorry? A time like what? What are you talking about?”

I can’t seem to understand her reason for calling and it annoys me a little that she’s incredible vague about it.
Anne:
“Wait- so he hasn’t told you?”

Winter:
“Told me what? Please, I don’t understand.”

She falls silent for a moment and I place the phone as close to my ear as physically possible.

Anne:
“…Harry was in a car accident earlier this week… I don’t want you to worry though dear, he’s fine now. But it bothers me that this sort of thing hasn’t brought you two together yet.”

I’m feeling a little out of it. For whatever reason it’s hard to accept the things she’s telling me because I hadn’t heard them directly from him. I stare at her for a moment as she smiles up at me from the bed again.

Winter:
“He what…-“

Anne:
“He was released yesterday after spending a couple of nights there, but he’s home now. He’s fine.”

It was scary because something told me his accident occurred the night he left here to get away from me. I feel fear and guilt in unison for everything I’d done on my part to cause this if I had. There wasn’t a person in the world I’d ever feel this way for and I’d come to terms with that to move on. Still, I needed to see that he was okay for myself…

Winter:
“…Where’s home?”

--

I knock nervously on the door and wait for someone to prove themselves present on the other side. It’s a little while but I eventually see the door swing inward and reveal his face to me. There’s bruising in places and I feel my heart break for him.

Winter:
“Hi.”

I can’t tell if he’s happy to see me or disappointed that I’m not someone else he was expecting.

Harry:
“What are you doing here?”

Likely, disappointed.

Winter:
“Anne called. I just wanted to see that you were alright.”

There’s a crease between his eyebrows like he hadn’t approve that call to me. It sort of hurts my feelings but I ignore it.

Harry:
“I’m fine, was that it?”

I was thinking of pouring my heart out to him because I knew the defensiveness was just proof that I had hurt him as well. This thing went both ways and I wasn’t sure how to fix it but I had to try. I went to open my mouth but before the words can spill I see her appear.

Jessie:
“Harry I got you some orange ju-“

She stops when she sees me there and hugs him closely from behind.

Jessie:
“Oh, didn’t realize you had company.”

My feet are backing away and leading me backward to my car. There aren’t words to express how I feel now but I don’t stick around to think of them. The tears are wiped quickly before they can splash onto my cheeks. I feel more of anger than sadness but it didn’t matter anymore. I open my car door as I hear my name and start on my path to forgetting this day ever happened.

Notes