The Night I Met Harry
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Dr.Horan:
“… sit Riley down so we can talk about it.”
Sped up was my brain activity as the feeling began to diminish in my fingers. I tried ignoring the reaction my body insisted to give me with the possibilities of his last statement. My heart held intense terror for saying another word and getting the wrong ones said back to me.
Harry:
“…I’m not sitting her anywhere.”
I was draining of my personality and body heat. Sitting her down would have probably been a good idea but at this point I wasn’t sure if I could physically carry that out. As a kid, I was never the type to have occasional nightmares but after today that would change no matter what he was about to say to me.
Dr.Horan:
“Please.”
I didn’t know what part of my last statement he hadn’t understood. Still I sat there with her warm and asleep barricading in my scent. He took a breath before motioning for me to bring her along. I wished he weren’t so difficult to read.
I made my way back into the hall just outside the door I assumed so we wouldn’t disturb the others. My heart belt at a rate that I knew was unsafe for any living being as I awaited his next words. It was the wait of my life as I peered into his presence impatiently. He rested his right hand lightly onto my shoulder like he had in the operation room a short while ago. I held my breath while cupping her close with decent composure.
Dr.Horan:
“You can relax. She’s alright, Harry.”
Dr.Horan’s POV:
It was like he hadn’t heard me at all…and for a minute there I didn’t think that he did.
Dr.Horan:
“Harry.”
Though his eyes had seemingly given me his undivided attention, I knew that they looked passed me to a horror that no man should ever witness from the one he loved. I squeezed just gently at his shoulder to bring him back to life here on earth.
Dr.Horan:
“Winter’s fine. I promise. She’s looking for you.”
I think maybe it had gotten through that time but still it was up for debate. His eyes blinked for the first time in awhile as he searched downward. They fell shut as he took a long slow breath inward and released it cautiously. I could almost see the tension release from his body and the air develop with less density. I gave him a smile so he knew this was reality and that he wasn’t still sat there in the nursery awaiting my return.
Harry:
“Can I see her now?”
Dr.Horan:
“Of course, but there are a few things I’d like to fill you in on if that’s okay.”
He nodded looking down at Riley with brighter eyes. I knew from the quick response that he’d be okay.
Dr.Horan:
“Everything went smoothly originally. The medication had done its job in keeping her in a state of haze so she wouldn’t panic or lose breath, but of course something happened that I hadn’t anticipated.”
I was sure to mention everything lightly so that the point was given but didn’t enhance the flare of his memories.
Dr.Horan:
“She was allergic to it. Extremely. And what you saw was of course her body rejecting it…She’s on heavy antibiotics at the moment so she may not feel well or completely here at certain points but she’s fine. I’m not going to allow her to leave the facility for a few days, but after that she’s all yours alright…”
I felt the conversation was more than one sided now as he received the information with coherence.
Dr.Horan:
“Now go. She’s livid… Something about her telling you not to leave her side.”
I announced with amusement as I turned him toward the direction of the room.
Dr.Horan:
“She needs to rest. But she wants to see both of you.”
Winter’s POV
My head was slightly unclear but progressing by the minute. It was initially hard to tell one thing from another and that went on with sound and understanding when I’d first opened my eyes. I’d never been to such a high but it had only made me realize why I’d never had an interest in drugs in the first place. I didn’t know what type of effect I was taking to whatever medication I’d been given but I was glad it was fading now. I blank a few times to allow the fog to patent before sitting up a little. If they didn’t walk through the door soon I would get up and find them myself. I wanted so badly to remove the needle from my arm but resisted the urged in case he’d take away my privilege of seeing them. The door sounded quietly and my eyes had popped up to see him with my curly haired lover and her wrapped snuggly with blankets in his arms. Ugh, I was jealous already. I gave him a smile and as wanted I’d gotten the dimples in return. Immediately I noticed his eyes were red and a little puffy like mine had often gotten after tearing. Hmm.
He kissed my lips forcefully between the smile. His face was too close to mine for me to see the creases I loved but I imagined them there. Curls and his forehead pressed to mine with his eyes half shut a little while after the kiss.
Harry:
“Jesus Winter, don’t scare me like that again.”
I hadn’t physically remembered much of what I knew he was talking about but Niall had filled me in on most of it. I also knew he likely worried to an intense point and that made me a little sad. I held his face as we stare at each other until the scent of her reminded me of her attendance.
Winter:
“She’s so cute. Give me.”
I gasped, reaching to hold my daughter for the first time with possessiveness.
Harry:
“Hey. Sanitize first.”
He said only half jokingly while holding her a distance away. Oh gosh, this already? I grabbed a small bottle from the table just beside me, first spreading it on then waving it to dry.
Dr.Horan:
“I’ll be back in an hour alright. Then she has to go back with her peers, understood?”
Winter:
“Sure, sure.”
Dr.Horan:
“And stay by her Harry. She’s on a lot of meds.”
I didn’t take offense as he closed the door and Harry handed her to me. I felt complete with her in my arms and Harry sat on the end of the bed watching in awe. She was perfect. Everything about her was and no one I ever showed her to would ever disagree with me. It was adorable that they even made hats this small. Her lips were pouted and perfect and her dark eyelashes had given me butterflies.
Harry:
“…She looks just like you.”
He rubbed my legs from on top of the covers and I took that feeling with the sight of her at once. I probably wasn’t supposed to do it, but I rubbed my face to hers and the scent and softness of her had caused me to quickly fall in love. It wasn’t weird finally seeing her I guess because of the 9 months or so of having her physically attached.
Winter:
“Hey gorgeous.”
I’d spoken, and after a few times had successfully gotten her eyes to open. I was overfilling with emotion, not knowing whether to cry or smile with blissfulness. As I resisted the urge not to tear in front of him I knew the hormones likely weren’t up. Every mother had likely thought this about their offspring, but damn what a stunning kid. Seriously. I knew I mostly had Harry to thank for that.
Winter:
“They’re green.”
I said as if it’d come as a complete surprise.
Harry:
“Of course they’re green.”
He giggled at me while moving closer to see them.
Winter:
“You know I’m upset with you. I told you not to move from my side.”
I was only joking, but when he remained silent it had caused me to take the attention from her for the first time to study him.
Winter:
“You okay?”
He looked down for a moment before nodding with certainty. Today wasn’t supposed to be a sad one…and I wouldn’t allow it.
Winter:
“Look at me…Are you sure?”
He obeyed me immediately, staring back as I studied with concern how red his eyes were.
Harry:
“…I won’t leave again. I’m sorry.”
It broke my heart how shattered he seemed and at once I wanted to pry about it.
Winter:
“No, I’m sorry about the-…”
I knew it had probably happened again. The comparable reaction of before when I told him about leaving the art studio that night. I hated that he had to be so on guard with me sometimes. I just wished he never had to worry.
Winter:
“That doesn’t matter anymore. I’m alright, Harry. Really…”
He looked down at Riley as I held her. It was crazy how much I loved this guy and I was happy to know just how permanent we’d become today. There was no going back.
Harry:
“You’re mom and friends and everyone’s in the waiting room. He’s not allowing guests, though.”
Aw. I was a little excited with the introduction of his sentence but figured I couldn’t have everything. And Niall could be really stern to me at times. He entered just as the thought left me, carrying a small bottle in one hand and his clipboard in the other.
Dr.Horan:
“Feed her will you. Poor thing. I’m surprised your ears aren’t bleeding yet.”
And then he was back out. It was funny how comfortable he was with us now.
Winter:
“I think you should do it-“
Harry:
“No you. I want you to.”
Winter:
“Harry.”
Harry:
“Please… I need the view right now…”
September 15th. How’d I get so lucky?
--
I felt waves of exhaustion from the amount of drugs I’d been giving but attempted staying awake as long as possible. He walked back and forth at a slow rate around the bed and space of the room after burping her. He then replaced the nipple of the bottle with her pacifier... I knew now what he meant about the view.
Winter:
“I’m just going to take a nap for a few minutes, okay?”
I mumbled as my body dictated what I should be doing right now. The last thing I saw before my eyes had fallen shut was him watching me thoughtfully. And then I considered why. Oh god I didn’t want to frighten him again.
Winter:
“You know, on second thought…I’ll just stay awake until she has to go.”
I rubbed aggressively at my eyes and sat my body further upward to rid the sleepiness. I realized that it may have been too soon so I’d stick it out for awhile longer.
Harry:
“Winter…its okay.”
He brushed my hair from my face with his smooth fingers adding to the sleepiness. A peck occurred to my forehead and then to my cheek and lips gently.
Harry:
“We’ll be here when you wake,”
--
Harry:
“She has them.”
It was our first time waking up to her in our home and of course the blinds were pulled and bottles were ready as we obsessed.
Winter:
“I thought we decided she doesn’t.”
Harry:
“Winter. She definitely does. You can see them when she yarns. Come here.”
Being that she was only a few days old, we hadn’t yet been able to get her to smile. Still we were both betting on whether or not she had the infamous dimples I loved so much. He placed his large hands next to hers while she lay awake in the car seat against the floor with him. When given something, she was prone to instantly gripping it with questionable force. I watched as Harry’s index got the treatment.
Winter:
“She’ll never do it now that I’m over here. That’s how it works.”
I was allowed to leave the hospital a lot sooner given my speedy recovery and glad that I was here and present with my family. Family. That word was chilling to me now.
Still it was a little unsettling to notice that Harry hadn’t been sleeping much at all since the day she was born. It wasn’t because she was a handful or anything because most of the time she lie quiet and innocently asleep. I knew what had been bothering him but I didn’t know if I should bring it up before. Despite us leaving the hospital last night to return to the bed of our own home he still hadn’t. He stayed awake by my side until I’d fallen asleep and when the morning came he’d been the same way with her spoiled in his arms.
Winter:
“Can we talk…?”
He looked up at me, mentally predicting what this was about. There wouldn’t be a way around it this time.
Winter:
“She’s fine. Come sit with me.”
I patted the cushion of the sofa next to me, trying to decide which path I’d take as he made his way over to me.
He sat really close, pulling me further toward him tenderly. I don’t know why I thought that would fade after the birth.
Winter:
“I know that you’re not okay… Talk to me about it.”
It was alarming when he suddenly pulled his touch away from me. It was never something I was able to get use to.
Harry:
“I’m fine and would rather not go there right now.”
Winter:
“It wasn’t a question.”
Sometimes the way to handle Harry was to declare demands. Obviously he was the dominant one in this relationship but there were still times where I had to go there.
Winter:
“I’m listening Harry.”
Harry:
“…it’s not exactly something I can explain.”
Winter:
“Try.”
I knew that talking about the thing that bothered you most was always the best pain reliever. And despite his character change since I mentioned it, I was willing to be that ear for him.
Harry:
“…when I sleep…it’s like it’s happening again.”
He wouldn’t look at me but I gave him space. It was painful experiencing him in such away and not knowing the words to say that’d make him feel better.
Winter:
“What can I do?”
“… sit Riley down so we can talk about it.”
Sped up was my brain activity as the feeling began to diminish in my fingers. I tried ignoring the reaction my body insisted to give me with the possibilities of his last statement. My heart held intense terror for saying another word and getting the wrong ones said back to me.
Harry:
“…I’m not sitting her anywhere.”
I was draining of my personality and body heat. Sitting her down would have probably been a good idea but at this point I wasn’t sure if I could physically carry that out. As a kid, I was never the type to have occasional nightmares but after today that would change no matter what he was about to say to me.
Dr.Horan:
“Please.”
I didn’t know what part of my last statement he hadn’t understood. Still I sat there with her warm and asleep barricading in my scent. He took a breath before motioning for me to bring her along. I wished he weren’t so difficult to read.
I made my way back into the hall just outside the door I assumed so we wouldn’t disturb the others. My heart belt at a rate that I knew was unsafe for any living being as I awaited his next words. It was the wait of my life as I peered into his presence impatiently. He rested his right hand lightly onto my shoulder like he had in the operation room a short while ago. I held my breath while cupping her close with decent composure.
Dr.Horan:
“You can relax. She’s alright, Harry.”
Dr.Horan’s POV:
It was like he hadn’t heard me at all…and for a minute there I didn’t think that he did.
Dr.Horan:
“Harry.”
Though his eyes had seemingly given me his undivided attention, I knew that they looked passed me to a horror that no man should ever witness from the one he loved. I squeezed just gently at his shoulder to bring him back to life here on earth.
Dr.Horan:
“Winter’s fine. I promise. She’s looking for you.”
I think maybe it had gotten through that time but still it was up for debate. His eyes blinked for the first time in awhile as he searched downward. They fell shut as he took a long slow breath inward and released it cautiously. I could almost see the tension release from his body and the air develop with less density. I gave him a smile so he knew this was reality and that he wasn’t still sat there in the nursery awaiting my return.
Harry:
“Can I see her now?”
Dr.Horan:
“Of course, but there are a few things I’d like to fill you in on if that’s okay.”
He nodded looking down at Riley with brighter eyes. I knew from the quick response that he’d be okay.
Dr.Horan:
“Everything went smoothly originally. The medication had done its job in keeping her in a state of haze so she wouldn’t panic or lose breath, but of course something happened that I hadn’t anticipated.”
I was sure to mention everything lightly so that the point was given but didn’t enhance the flare of his memories.
Dr.Horan:
“She was allergic to it. Extremely. And what you saw was of course her body rejecting it…She’s on heavy antibiotics at the moment so she may not feel well or completely here at certain points but she’s fine. I’m not going to allow her to leave the facility for a few days, but after that she’s all yours alright…”
I felt the conversation was more than one sided now as he received the information with coherence.
Dr.Horan:
“Now go. She’s livid… Something about her telling you not to leave her side.”
I announced with amusement as I turned him toward the direction of the room.
Dr.Horan:
“She needs to rest. But she wants to see both of you.”
Winter’s POV
My head was slightly unclear but progressing by the minute. It was initially hard to tell one thing from another and that went on with sound and understanding when I’d first opened my eyes. I’d never been to such a high but it had only made me realize why I’d never had an interest in drugs in the first place. I didn’t know what type of effect I was taking to whatever medication I’d been given but I was glad it was fading now. I blank a few times to allow the fog to patent before sitting up a little. If they didn’t walk through the door soon I would get up and find them myself. I wanted so badly to remove the needle from my arm but resisted the urged in case he’d take away my privilege of seeing them. The door sounded quietly and my eyes had popped up to see him with my curly haired lover and her wrapped snuggly with blankets in his arms. Ugh, I was jealous already. I gave him a smile and as wanted I’d gotten the dimples in return. Immediately I noticed his eyes were red and a little puffy like mine had often gotten after tearing. Hmm.
He kissed my lips forcefully between the smile. His face was too close to mine for me to see the creases I loved but I imagined them there. Curls and his forehead pressed to mine with his eyes half shut a little while after the kiss.
Harry:
“Jesus Winter, don’t scare me like that again.”
I hadn’t physically remembered much of what I knew he was talking about but Niall had filled me in on most of it. I also knew he likely worried to an intense point and that made me a little sad. I held his face as we stare at each other until the scent of her reminded me of her attendance.
Winter:
“She’s so cute. Give me.”
I gasped, reaching to hold my daughter for the first time with possessiveness.
Harry:
“Hey. Sanitize first.”
He said only half jokingly while holding her a distance away. Oh gosh, this already? I grabbed a small bottle from the table just beside me, first spreading it on then waving it to dry.
Dr.Horan:
“I’ll be back in an hour alright. Then she has to go back with her peers, understood?”
Winter:
“Sure, sure.”
Dr.Horan:
“And stay by her Harry. She’s on a lot of meds.”
I didn’t take offense as he closed the door and Harry handed her to me. I felt complete with her in my arms and Harry sat on the end of the bed watching in awe. She was perfect. Everything about her was and no one I ever showed her to would ever disagree with me. It was adorable that they even made hats this small. Her lips were pouted and perfect and her dark eyelashes had given me butterflies.
Harry:
“…She looks just like you.”
He rubbed my legs from on top of the covers and I took that feeling with the sight of her at once. I probably wasn’t supposed to do it, but I rubbed my face to hers and the scent and softness of her had caused me to quickly fall in love. It wasn’t weird finally seeing her I guess because of the 9 months or so of having her physically attached.
Winter:
“Hey gorgeous.”
I’d spoken, and after a few times had successfully gotten her eyes to open. I was overfilling with emotion, not knowing whether to cry or smile with blissfulness. As I resisted the urge not to tear in front of him I knew the hormones likely weren’t up. Every mother had likely thought this about their offspring, but damn what a stunning kid. Seriously. I knew I mostly had Harry to thank for that.
Winter:
“They’re green.”
I said as if it’d come as a complete surprise.
Harry:
“Of course they’re green.”
He giggled at me while moving closer to see them.
Winter:
“You know I’m upset with you. I told you not to move from my side.”
I was only joking, but when he remained silent it had caused me to take the attention from her for the first time to study him.
Winter:
“You okay?”
He looked down for a moment before nodding with certainty. Today wasn’t supposed to be a sad one…and I wouldn’t allow it.
Winter:
“Look at me…Are you sure?”
He obeyed me immediately, staring back as I studied with concern how red his eyes were.
Harry:
“…I won’t leave again. I’m sorry.”
It broke my heart how shattered he seemed and at once I wanted to pry about it.
Winter:
“No, I’m sorry about the-…”
I knew it had probably happened again. The comparable reaction of before when I told him about leaving the art studio that night. I hated that he had to be so on guard with me sometimes. I just wished he never had to worry.
Winter:
“That doesn’t matter anymore. I’m alright, Harry. Really…”
He looked down at Riley as I held her. It was crazy how much I loved this guy and I was happy to know just how permanent we’d become today. There was no going back.
Harry:
“You’re mom and friends and everyone’s in the waiting room. He’s not allowing guests, though.”
Aw. I was a little excited with the introduction of his sentence but figured I couldn’t have everything. And Niall could be really stern to me at times. He entered just as the thought left me, carrying a small bottle in one hand and his clipboard in the other.
Dr.Horan:
“Feed her will you. Poor thing. I’m surprised your ears aren’t bleeding yet.”
And then he was back out. It was funny how comfortable he was with us now.
Winter:
“I think you should do it-“
Harry:
“No you. I want you to.”
Winter:
“Harry.”
Harry:
“Please… I need the view right now…”
September 15th. How’d I get so lucky?
--
I felt waves of exhaustion from the amount of drugs I’d been giving but attempted staying awake as long as possible. He walked back and forth at a slow rate around the bed and space of the room after burping her. He then replaced the nipple of the bottle with her pacifier... I knew now what he meant about the view.
Winter:
“I’m just going to take a nap for a few minutes, okay?”
I mumbled as my body dictated what I should be doing right now. The last thing I saw before my eyes had fallen shut was him watching me thoughtfully. And then I considered why. Oh god I didn’t want to frighten him again.
Winter:
“You know, on second thought…I’ll just stay awake until she has to go.”
I rubbed aggressively at my eyes and sat my body further upward to rid the sleepiness. I realized that it may have been too soon so I’d stick it out for awhile longer.
Harry:
“Winter…its okay.”
He brushed my hair from my face with his smooth fingers adding to the sleepiness. A peck occurred to my forehead and then to my cheek and lips gently.
Harry:
“We’ll be here when you wake,”
--
Harry:
“She has them.”
It was our first time waking up to her in our home and of course the blinds were pulled and bottles were ready as we obsessed.
Winter:
“I thought we decided she doesn’t.”
Harry:
“Winter. She definitely does. You can see them when she yarns. Come here.”
Being that she was only a few days old, we hadn’t yet been able to get her to smile. Still we were both betting on whether or not she had the infamous dimples I loved so much. He placed his large hands next to hers while she lay awake in the car seat against the floor with him. When given something, she was prone to instantly gripping it with questionable force. I watched as Harry’s index got the treatment.
Winter:
“She’ll never do it now that I’m over here. That’s how it works.”
I was allowed to leave the hospital a lot sooner given my speedy recovery and glad that I was here and present with my family. Family. That word was chilling to me now.
Still it was a little unsettling to notice that Harry hadn’t been sleeping much at all since the day she was born. It wasn’t because she was a handful or anything because most of the time she lie quiet and innocently asleep. I knew what had been bothering him but I didn’t know if I should bring it up before. Despite us leaving the hospital last night to return to the bed of our own home he still hadn’t. He stayed awake by my side until I’d fallen asleep and when the morning came he’d been the same way with her spoiled in his arms.
Winter:
“Can we talk…?”
He looked up at me, mentally predicting what this was about. There wouldn’t be a way around it this time.
Winter:
“She’s fine. Come sit with me.”
I patted the cushion of the sofa next to me, trying to decide which path I’d take as he made his way over to me.
He sat really close, pulling me further toward him tenderly. I don’t know why I thought that would fade after the birth.
Winter:
“I know that you’re not okay… Talk to me about it.”
It was alarming when he suddenly pulled his touch away from me. It was never something I was able to get use to.
Harry:
“I’m fine and would rather not go there right now.”
Winter:
“It wasn’t a question.”
Sometimes the way to handle Harry was to declare demands. Obviously he was the dominant one in this relationship but there were still times where I had to go there.
Winter:
“I’m listening Harry.”
Harry:
“…it’s not exactly something I can explain.”
Winter:
“Try.”
I knew that talking about the thing that bothered you most was always the best pain reliever. And despite his character change since I mentioned it, I was willing to be that ear for him.
Harry:
“…when I sleep…it’s like it’s happening again.”
He wouldn’t look at me but I gave him space. It was painful experiencing him in such away and not knowing the words to say that’d make him feel better.
Winter:
“What can I do?”
Notes
You're welcome. Will post sometime at the end of next week. I'm thinking about making it every Friday or something like that. I don't how I'm pulling this off with 16 credits but bare with me. LOVE you guys for reading.
12 MORE CHAPTERS TO GO SO STICK AROUND!!
@Cold Summer
Aww I truly hope so I always look forward to your updates!!! You truly know how to write and keep a reader hooked!! Can't wait to see what you have in store!! :)
8/20/15