The Au Pair

“Louis…” Harry said after hearing Louis’ groggy voice answer the phone.

“Harry? It’s three o’clock in the morning,” he grumbled sleepily.

“I know. I’m sorry, mate. I just need someone to talk to,” Harry told him as he sat with his head in his hands on the couch in the pool house.

“Hang on a second,” he said quietly.

Harry could hear some scuffling on the phone and waited patiently as Louis got himself out of bed, trying not to wake his wife.

“Alright. What’s going on, mate?” Louis asked a few moments later.

“I, uh… I kind of fucked up a little bit tonight,” Harry told him, running his fingers quickly through his hair.

“Like more than you already have this summer?” Louis asked with a hint of a snicker in his voice.

“Yeah. More than that,” Harry said quietly.

“Julia didn’t find out about Niko, did she? I mean, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, I guess. But I think maybe you coming clean with her instead of her finding out would be better,” Louis told him.

“No. Julia didn’t find out,” Harry told him, rolling his eyes.

“Well, what then? How could it possibly get any worse?” Louis asked. Harry scoffed, getting slightly annoyed that Louis was passing judgment so easily.

“If you’re gonna be like that—” Harry started to say.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Just, please tell me. I wanna help,” Louis said quickly.

“I don’t think you can help,” he sighed.

“Harry, have at it already,” Louis said impatiently.

“Julia and I got into a massive row tonight,” Harry started to explain.

“Wait. Julia is back?” Louis asked.

“Yeah, she surprised us all. And we got into a huge fight and I stalked off to the pool house. And then I-I had Niko meet me out here once everyone went to sleep. But when she came out, I was still upset over Julia. And uh, and…” Harry trailed off.

“And what?” Louis asked.

“And when we were having sex, I uh… I think I was a little too rough with her,” Harry confessed.

“A little too rough? What do you mean? You didn’t kill her, did you?” Louis asked cautiously.

“No! I didn’t kill her, you wanker,” Harry snapped impatiently, annoyed that Louis would even joke about that.

“I had to ask. Go on,” Louis snickered.

“I mean, like I… I don’t know. I really gave it to her. And… and when we were done, she was crying,” Harry told him, gripping his fingers tightly in his hair.

“She was crying?” Louis asked evenly.

“Yeah. She… she tried to wipe them away before I could see, but I saw them. And she was trying to shrug it off. She told me it wasn’t because I was too rough. But I don’t know,” Harry told him with a weighted sigh.

“Hmm,” Louis hummed.

Silence fell over the line and Harry was just waiting for Louis to say anything… anything at all.

“’Hmm?’ That’s it? ‘Hmm’?” Harry asked impatiently.

“Maybe she was telling the truth,” Louis offered.

“What? What do you mean?” He asked confused.

“Maybe she wasn’t crying because you were too rough with her,” Louis suggested.

“That… that doesn’t make any sense. I mean, why else would she be crying?” Harry asked, feeling like his mind was going in circles.

“Girls cry for a lot of reasons, Harry. Maybe you need to figure it out,” Louis told him cryptically.

“Okay, Riddler. What the fuck does that mean?” Harry scoffed.

“I don’t know, Harry. Maybe you should ask her,” Louis said impatiently.

“Some fucking help you are,” Harry scoffed again.

“Harry, there are some things I can help you with and there are some things I can’t. This just so happens to be something I can’t. You really should talk to Niko,” Louis told him.

“I can’t stop thinking about this. I swear to god, I am not getting any sleep tonight,” Harry growled.

“Just don’t read too much into it… yet,” Louis emphasized.

“I wish you’d just say what you mean,” Harry snapped.

“I am. Don’t read too much into it,” he said again.

“Yet?” Harry questioned.

“Yet. Unless Niko gives you proper reason to,” Louis explained.

“You are confusing the hell out of me,” Harry said, shutting his eyes tightly as he shook his.

“Sorry, mate. Its three a.m. Can we talk more in the daylight hours?” Louis urged.

“Fine,” Harry grumbled.

“Sorry I couldn’t help,” Louis said finally.

“If anything, you gave me more to think about,” Harry laughed darkly.

“Sorry,” Louis chuckled.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Lou,” Harry told him.

“Yeah, for sure, mate,” Louis said, hanging up the phone.

Harry almost thought about creeping into Niko’s room to talk to her. But waking up one person with his paranoia was enough for one night. He would just have to wait to talk to her in the morning. He drug himself back to the bedroom and collapsed onto the bed, hoping sleep would actually come this time.

When Harry opened his eyes again the bedroom was flooded with light, making it safe to assume he at least got a little bit of sleep. Rolling over, he collided with another body in the bed. For a second, he had a slight conniption thinking it might be Julia. But then reminded himself she didn’t possess a caring bone in her body, why would she pretend now?

Niko. His beautiful Nikola.

“Neeks…” Harry cooed, turning toward her, wrapping his arms her, her back side nestled against him, relaxing him once again. When Niko stirred against him, he knew she was just waking up too.

“What brings you out here?” Harry breathed in her ear as he left a few kisses at the top of her neck, just below her ear lobe.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay,” she told him, her voice groggy.

His heart beat a little bit faster, knowing he spent the whole night wanting to know if she was okay.

“I’m okay,” he told her quietly.

“Good,” she said, turning her head to smile back at him.

Harry let his fingers trail up underneath the hem of her tank top, lightly tickling her stomach as she softly rubbed her foot up and down his leg. He really enjoyed the moment they were having. It felt real. Like what they had was more than what it really was. Like they meant more to one another than what they ever established.

Just feeling her next to him and being witness to her forgiveness for something he didn’t think he could even forgive himself for was just so entrancing. Denying it would be futile – he loved her. He most definitely loved her.

Harry’s lips made their way down the length of her neck and back up again as his hands caressed up her warm body into her tank top. Without being shy, his hand gripped onto one of her breast, feeling it beneath his fingertips, earning a pleasing groan from deep within her. He couldn’t help himself. It was instantaneous. She was there and he was ready for her.

“I like waking up to your beautiful body,” he moaned lowly in her ear.

“Mmm,” she hummed, sounding pleased.

“Come here,” he said, turning her in his arms so they were face-to-face.

Their lips met for the first time that morning in the most loving way. He wanted this morning to be a complete contrast of the night before. He wanted to show her he wasn’t in his right mind before, that he could be different. Niko pulled up, straddling her body over his as she looked down into his eyes.

“I want you so bad,” she cooed, smiling down at him.

“I want you,” he told her, feeling as if he had never been more truthful in his entire life.

Niko couldn’t help but think that her want and his want were two different things. Hers stemmed from the feeling of love she was harboring for him, whereas his was just a need for intimacy and sex. Either way, the lines were blurred together to give them both what they desired.

Harry’s fingers grabbed the hem of her tank top, pulling it up over her head. Seconds later, she was already discarding her bra onto the floor and he was pawing at her chest, loving the way she felt. Niko took the lead in discarding the rest of their clothing before she came back to straddle above him.

“I like when you take charge. It’s so hot,” Harry said, smirking up at her and she smiled right back.

When her hand grasped his cock to guide herself down atop it, Harry had to close his eyes as the pleasure coursed through the appendage. He didn’t know how she constantly made him feel like this – like the second their bodies touched they were meant to be like that forever. He couldn’t explain it, but the thought of it being a temporary thing was almost too unbearable to even think about. He didn’t want to.

“God, you feel so good,” Harry groaned as his hands found her hips as she bobbed up and down on him. He couldn’t think of much but her when they were in those moments.

“Whoa! Jesus, Harry!” They heard and it took Harry a moment or two to realize what was happening.

But as soon as Niko started scrambling above him, he gripped onto the blanket, pulling it over the both of them as she dove for the far side of the bed.

The infamous Louis Tomlinson just caught his best friend fucking the nanny. Niko was freaking out. They were finally caught and she knew it was going to end badly. She just knew it.

“Louis? What are you doing here?” Harry scoffed at Louis, who stood in the doorway of the bedroom in the pool house.

“I came to visit for a few days. You sounded really upset on the phone last night. I figured I would come cheer you up, but I can see you’ve already gotten that taken care of,” Louis chuckled, cocking his eyebrow at him. Harry just sent a grunt his way, remembering their three a.m. phone call.

“Oh my god,” Niko groaned as she sunk into the bed next to Harry.

“Jules sent me out here. She’s knows you’re out here, Harry. You’re playing with fire,” Louis warned him.

“She would never come out here. Obviously,” Harry scoffed, feeling his resentment for his wife fester inside of him.

“Well, either way… this isn’t smart,” Louis told him.

“Can you… can you give us a minute?” Harry asked, shooing him out.

“Yeah. No problem,” he chuckled, closing the door behind him.

“Oh my god,” Niko groaned again.

“Sorry,” Harry apologized, looking over at her sympathetically.

“He… he just caught us,” she gasped, wide-eyed.

“He won’t say anything,” Harry assured her. He didn’t want to share the little detail that Louis had known since the beginning. Niko nodded her head lightly as her eyes darted away from his.

“You should get dressed,” Harry told her. She nodded again and pulled herself out of the bed.

By the time Harry pulled up his boxer briefs, Niko was already fully clothed, dressing in lightning speed. Harry hated that Louis’ presence made everything uncomfortable between them, but he made a mental note to talk with Niko about it later, to reassure her everything would be okay and that Louis would never say a word.

Just as Niko went to grab for the door handle to leave the bedroom, Harry grabbed her arm and pulled her to him.

“It’s going to be okay,” he told her. He could see the worry in her eyes and he knew she didn’t believe him, that she was scared.

“Louis won’t tell,” he said once again, hoping like hell she believed him. But she knew it was ridiculous. They were making mistake after mistake with each other.

Niko nodded again – if only to get him to let her go. She needed to go. He kissed her delicately on the lips, finally releasing her from his grasp before she spun on her heels and left the pool house in her wake.

Harry took in a deep breath and let it out forcefully before he headed into the living room of the pool house.

“Cock block,” Harry grumbled under his breath in Louis’ direction as he moved toward the refrigerator. Louis chuckled from his place on the couch.

“You know, technically your wife is the cock block, not me,” Louis said with a shrug as he got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen counter.

“It wasn’t Julia who stood in the doorway making everything awkward,” Harry said before he grabbed a bottle of water out of the nearly barren fridge.

“But imagine the outcome if it was Julia,” Louis said, smirking devilishly at him.

“Fuck off,” Harry said, rolling his eyes as he took a swig of the cold water.

“She’s cute,” Louis added.

“Who? Niko?” Harry asked, replacing the cap on the bottle, setting it in front of him on the countertop.

“Yeah,” Louis confirmed.

“She’s gorgeous,” Harry corrected him.

“You never really described her to me. You just told me she was attractive. I guess I just never pictured you with a blonde,” Louis chuckled.

“Taylor was blonde,” Harry said, immediately regretting bringing up a relationship that crashed and burned over a decade ago.

“And we all saw how long that lasted,” Louis laughed.

“Shut the fuck up. I’m not as superficial as I used to be. I used to have a type—” Harry started to explain.

“Yeah and now your type is hot twenty-something nannies?” Louis asked, smirking at him.

“I really hate you right now,” Harry said, narrowing his eyes at him.

“I’m just kidding, mate. Calm down. I’m all for you and Niko… exploring. But I’d much rather you do it after you’ve figured everything out with Julia,” Louis told him.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Harry scoffed as he moved toward the sofa in the living room.

“You know what I am talking about. It’s one or the other, Harry,” Louis said, following him. Harry scoffed again.

It was easy for him to come in there and say shit like that. He wasn’t living how Harry was living. The mother of his children wasn’t a heartless, sexless robot.

“You need to wake up and smell the roses, Harry,” Louis said, eyeing his best mate.

“Shut the fuck up,” Harry said, rolling his eyes, resenting everything Louis was saying to him.

“No. I’m serious. Julia is… she’s not it anymore, Harry,” Louis told him.

“You don’t even know what you’re trying to say,” Harry scoffed, getting defensive.

“I know exactly what I’m trying to say. You need to either put in some real effort to save your marriage, your family or you need to file for a divorce,” Louis said plain and simple, like it was the easiest solution in the world.

Harry’s heart sank at the word. A divorce? He felt a panic attack building in his chest just thinking about it.

“Put in some real effort into my marriage? Fuck you, Louis!” Harry exploded, getting up on his feet as the anger burst out of him.

“Harry, I didn’t mean—” Louis sighed.

“No, I fucking know what you meant,” Harry yelled as he began to pace the floor.

“Look, Harry. I’m sorry. I just… you’ve been coming to me with all your problems with Julia for over a year. And I know it’s been going on a lot longer than that. How long are you going to hold on to something that isn’t there? How long are you going to let yourself suffer – to sit back and watch those kids suffer while she walks all over you?” Louis said, standing up to speak to him eye-to-eye.

“Don’t talk about my kids—” Harry choked out as the raw emotion hit him and tears began to well in his eyes.

“I know you don’t want to hear this, Harry. I know it’s hard to face, but can you really sit here and tell me you’re happy? That sneaking behind your wife’s back with the nanny is satisfying?” Louis asked carefully.

“Fuck,” Harry sighed, bringing his hands up to his face to quickly wipe his eyes.

“Do yourself a favor, Harry, and put some real thought into where you want to be next year, in five years, in ten years. If you really see Julia changing after all of this time, then do what you have to do. But please, don’t live like this just because you’re too afraid of taking the next step. Free yourself, Harry,” Louis told him.

They stood there for a few silent moments before Louis moved passed him, patting his shoulder on the way out of the pool house, leaving him to face all his demons alone.

Notes