The Assistant

It took Nora longer than it probably should have to regain her composure after breaking down in the bathroom – long enough anyway to have to rush through her job before show time. She kept her head down and didn’t talk to anyone. She didn’t need anyone noticing her red puffy eyes. Just having Liam know was too much. She just wanted the next couple of nights to be done and over with so she could catch the first flight back to London and forget all about Harry and the ups and downs she went through working on the tour. But she knew it wasn’t going to be that easy. And she knew she still needed to sit down with Paul and Preston to put in her resignation.

“Nora, love,” she heard Preston’s voice from behind her. She knew by the tone in his voice he already knew what happened.

Nora closed her eyes tightly, biting her lip to try and hold her tears back. She was way too emotional for her own good.

“Are you alright?” Preston asked as he walked up to her.

“I’m fine,” she lied, her voice cracking with the words.

“You can talk to me, you know,” he said in a soothing tone, which for some reason made her miss her dad so much.

“I… I just…” She said, shaking her head.

Preston didn’t say anything. He just waited patiently for Nora to speak again. When she looked up into his caring eyes, it took all she had not to cry.

“I need to talk to you and Paul,” she spoke finally.

“Well, he’s… he’s kind of busy right now with the crew guys. You could talk to me,” he told her.

Nora looked down at her hands and took a deep breath, letting it out hard.

“I can’t come back… after the break. I-I… I won’t be able to work for the band anymore,” she told him, unable to look him in the eye.

“Are you sure, Nora?” He asked and she could feel his questioning eyes on her.

“I am. And I’m so sorry. I know I am putting you in a terrible position. And I know this was exactly what you were trying to prevent by having me sign that contract. But I just can’t… I can’t come back,” Nora explained as tears pricked her eyes.

“I can’t say that I’m not a little disappointed, love. But if you’re not comfortable…” He said, but his voice trailed off.

“It’s just not working out,” Nora said quietly as her tears blurred her vision. Preston nodded, but looked glum.

“I’m so sorry,” Nora told him again and she meant it in so many ways.

She was sorry for leaving them high and dry without an assistant. She was sorry for causing so much trouble while she was on tour. She was sorry for breaking the contract. But most of all, she was sorry for hurting Harry in the end.

“I did care for Harry. I do. I just… I can’t do it anymore,” she told him as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

“I understand,” Preston told her.

“And I promise, I won’t cause any more trouble. You don’t have to worry about me talking to any… like, tabloids or anything. This experience has meant too much to me to do that,” Nora continued.

“I didn’t think you would, love,” Preston told her.

“I’m just really sorry. I guess that’s really all I have left to say,” Nora said finally.

“I’m sorry too,” Preston said.

Nora nodded one last time before she took a deep breath and turned on her heels to leave the room and compose herself once again.

...

Harry sat in his hotel room a few nights later still feeling hurt and angry. The past couple of shows were a disaster. He didn’t want to be there. He could barely participate and he felt terrible for giving the fans such a shitty performance. It was really unlike him. But his spirits were crushed and he didn’t know how he’d get to back to the place he was before Nora. Or even if he wanted to go there again.

“I know you’ve been brooding and upset for the past two days, but eventually you’re going to need to talk about it. She leaves tomorrow and you two haven’t said a word to each other since you broke up,” Liam called Harry out as they sat in their hotel room on the night before their last full day of the tour.

Harry’s jaw tensed almost immediately as he clenched his teeth together. He hated that Liam was the one to speak with Nora after she ended things with him. It was like he was lording it over his head – like he was right about everything in the end, which he wasn’t.

“I know you’re going to miss her. Swallow your pride, Harry. She’s leaving tomorrow,” Liam urged. Harry scoffed at him shaking his head. She didn’t want to see him. She made that perfectly clear.

“It’s obvious you care about her, otherwise you wouldn’t be acting like this. Is she’s the first girl to dump you, or what?” Liam went on, twisting the knife.

“Will you just shut it!? You don’t even have a clue what you’re talking about,” Harry turned quickly to face him, snapping at his band mate.

“We’ve all been through it, Harry. You’re not invincible when it comes to girls,” he continued, really grating on his last nerve.

“It was different with Nora,” Harry growled through his teeth.

“What was different?” Liam pushed.

“You have no idea,” Harry grumbled, shaking his head, feeling the anger rising deep within himself.

“Tell me!” Liam shouted, getting aggravated with him, causing Harry to scoff again.

“If you talk about it, it might make you feel better. Stop internalizing it. It’ll only make you feel worse,” Liam told him.

Harry sat there in his bed, thinking about what he said. Maybe it might be good to talk about it – all of it. She was already leaving. What’s the worst that could happen if he told someone the truth? The whole truth…

“I, uh… I pursued Nora,” Harry said quietly, his voice cracking, causing him to have to clear his throat. Liam listened contently.

“I was the one to really push her. I wanted her and she wanted nothing to do with me. But somewhere down the line she cracked, ya know. And I slept with her. I cheated on Claire with her,” Harry confessed, his cheeks flushing thinking about what a jerk he’d been all along. Liam didn’t say a word, probably out of fear that he might stop talking if he did.

“I slept with her and I convinced her to keep sleeping with me even after Claire and I broke up. And then… then you and Louis…” Harry said, shaking his head feeling embarrassment.

“We caught you,” Liam said quietly.

“Yeah. And I… I made it up. I made up the fact that we were in love and in a relationship so Paul and Preston wouldn’t send her home,” Harry confessed. Liam’s mouth dropped open from his words, but Harry ignored him.

“I made her go along with this fake relationship to keep her job, but more so for me to keep her around so I’d have someone to sleep with,” Harry told him.

“Harry,” Liam breathed, shaking his head in disapproval. But Harry still ignored him.

“And somewhere down the line what I felt for her developed into… I don’t know… real feelings. Maybe I felt them all along, but subconsciously pushed them away. I don’t know. All I know is I feel them now and there’s a hole in my chest because she’s leaving. And there’s nothing I can do about it because she made up her mind about me from the start. I treated her like shit and now I am paying the price for it,” Harry admitted, feeling the tears welling in his eyes.

“Apologize,” Liam said immediately.

“I did. I doesn’t work,” Harry said as he shook his head.

“Try again,” Liam insisted.

“It won’t work,” Harry told him.

“Did you tell her how you feel?” Liam asked.

“It doesn’t matter,” Harry said sadly.

“It does matter,” Liam insisted, his voice exasperated.

“I fucked it up from the beginning, Liam. She’s not going to hear me out. She doesn’t care,” Harry told him.

“You didn’t see her right after she left you, Harry. She was in tears. She was a mess. Someone who doesn’t care doesn’t look like that. I could tell her feelings were real,” Liam told him.

“It’s not…” Harry breathed, shaking his head.

“If you don’t go to her tonight, you are the biggest prat on the planet. If you don’t try to make it right, you’re dumber than I thought,” Liam said as he scoffed.

“And what if I do and she still rejects me?” Harry asked him.

“Then you’ll know you tried everything to get her back. If you don’t do this, you’ll live with that forever,” Liam told him.

Harry took a deep breath before he sat up straight in the bed, thinking Liam’s words over. His stomach knotted and his heart constricted. Would he still have a chance with her? Could he make things right?

“Go,” Liam urged.

Harry kicked his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. He had to try. He’d regret it if he didn’t.

“You gotta go, mate,” Liam said again.

Harry nodded and headed out of the room. Once he was standing in front of Nora’s door, he felt sick. He was almost sure he wouldn’t be able to handle her rejecting him for a second time. After many hesitations, he finally knocked on her door. But he stood there like a complete moron when she didn’t answer. Was she even in there? Was she sleeping? Did he have the right room? He knocked for a second time and got no answer once again. That’s when he decided to go with plan B. He pulled out her room key from his back pocket – he always had an extra.

When the key produced the green light, he quietly pushed open the door and stepped inside the dark room. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, and walked deeper into the room when they finally did. Harry saw her silhouette underneath the blankets in the bed and knew she was asleep when he heard her soft breathing. Just being in her presence tugged at his heart and he prayed she would give him another chance to prove himself – just one more chance, that’s all he would need.

Harry walked slowly to the bed and with the softest of motions, he crawled in beside her.

“Nora,” he breathed, shaking her arm lightly. She stirred almost immediately, turning toward him.

“Harry?” She whispered, looking a little alarmed by his presence.

“Yeah,” he said quietly.

“What are you doing in here?” She asked.

“I… I don’t want you to go tomorrow,” he told her finally.

“We’re all going tomorrow, Harry,” she said, furrowing her eyebrows. Well yeah, they all did have a flight back to London after the show tomorrow, but she knew that wasn’t what he was referring to.

“You know what I mean,” he told her.

“Harry,” she sighed, sitting up a bit in the bed.

“I was stupid. I get that. I was really stupid and I played games. But right now I just want you to put that aside. I want you to be able to see how different I am right now,” he pleaded with her.

“Harry,” she sighed again, shaking her head.

“Nora,” he said her name quickly as he gripped onto the sides of her face with his hands, staring into her eyes.

“Please, just see me,” he told her. Her brows furrowed with emotion as he leaned in, pressing his lips firmly to hers.

When her lips began to move with his, his heart began beating again. And he wanted nothing more than to be able to show her how much she meant to him the only way he really knew how.

Their kisses turned more passionate, more heated and as his hands started to explore her, he realized she wasn’t wearing much – just a thin tank top and a pair of panties. And oh, he wanted her. He wanted her so much.

Their tongues tangled together and his fingertips explored her soft skin. Hers were buried deep within his hair, giving him hope that she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. His fingers found the hem of her tank top and pulled it slowly up her body and she let him. He pulled it up over her head, breaking their kiss only for a split second while he discarded it. Her hands were back on him and his on her a moment later.

Pushing forward, Harry laid her down on the bed, pressing himself against her and she groaned against his mouth. Determined to keep things going, he trailed his kisses down her jaw, down her collarbone until he pulled up and discarded his own shirt over his head. Their eyes met in a carnal hungered gaze and he knew there was no stopping what his kiss started. He had her in the moment and with everything in him, he hoped it was some sort of sign that just maybe she might decide to stay.

“I want you so bad, Nora. You don’t even know,” Harry breathed lowly as he gripped the sides of her panties and pulled them down her legs.

Her welcoming moan was enough to progress him along even further and he was pushing down his pajama bottoms and underwear so he could finally bury himself within her. His lips came down hard against hers again, causing her to whimper into his mouth, but she kept on with her lips and her tongue and her arms wrapped tightly around him, like she didn’t want to let him go.

Harry couldn’t wait another second. He needed her. Reaching down between them, he guided himself inside of her, causing her to drop her head back and let out a low moan. His lips worked down her throat as he began moving inside of her, relishing in the all-engrossing feeling of her body enveloped around him once again. This was where he wanted to be. And he was slowly realizing that without this closeness to her, without her around, his life was sure to be empty.

Harry gave her everything he could. Every beat of his heart in those moments was for her. Every ounce of energy was put to use for her. He wanted her and he needed her to know it.

When her breathing became labored and her soft breaths became gasps, he knew she was ready to lose herself. He made sure to give her his all. He pumped harder and pushed faster just for her. And finally she was spilling herself all around him, triggering his own ending. When he could no longer hold himself up, he collapsed against her, their bodies perfectly woven together. Their breathing was harsh and rapid and he was certain his heart rate might never go back to normal – not with her around. But when he realized her breathing was no longer just breaths of air, that it was soft cries in his ear, he pulled up to look at her. Her face immediately scrunched up, her hand coming up to hide herself from him as she turned her face into the pillow.

“Nora,” Harry breathed, his heart constricting tightly in his chest.

“You shouldn’t have come in here, Harry,” she cried into her pillow.

“Nora, please,” he said, grabbing at her arm.

“Why did you come in here?” She cried.

“Because I want you,” he told her.

“No, Harry,” she said, pulling away from him, covering herself up with the blankets.

“Nora, please. I’m sorry. Please,” he pleaded desperately.

“This was a mistake. This was all just a mistake,” she cried, still hiding away from him.

“Nora, I don’t care if it was a mistake, okay. Because it brought us together. Who cares how it started? All that matters is that we’re here now, okay. We’re here. And you don’t have to go,” he pleaded with her.

“I do, Harry. I can’t stay,” she said, wiping furiously at her eyes.

“Why not?” He snapped, feeling the anger bubble up inside of him again. No matter what he did, he could never change her mind.

“We’ve already screwed up so much. I can’t do this. It hurts. It always hurts,” she cried, gripping at her chest.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Nora,” he sighed sadly as he shook his head.

“Then just let me go,” she said quietly.

“I can’t,” he said through gritted teeth.

Nora began crying harder into her pillow and Harry just wanted to comfort her. He wanted to be her comfort. But instead, he was the one who was plaguing her.

“Nora, please,” Harry whispered.

“I just want you to let me go, Harry,” she said again, tearing up his insides with her words.

“You don’t mean that,” he said, feeling the shredding of his heart.

“I do,” she said, turning to look him straight in the eye.

“Nora,” Harry breathed, staring at her wide-eyed.

“Please,” she told him and he knew he had to go, no matter how badly he wanted to stay and make it right.

He pulled himself up from the bed, searching for his clothes in the dark while she cried into her pillow. He dressed quickly and without another word, not a goodnight or a goodbye, he slipped out of her hotel room with the worst pain in his heart that he ever felt before.

It was over and he was broken.

Notes