Harry was quiet the next morning. He didn’t say much after they woke up and he didn’t say much at breakfast. Nora was wondering if she freaked him out by asking him about Danielle. Actually she knew she did and she also knew she should have just kept her damn mouth shut. It didn’t help the situation any. She didn’t feel any better knowing she sucked him off. It actually made her feel worse. She felt stabbing jealousy when it came down to it. Not that she had any deep particular need to suck him off – she’d already been down that road.
When Harry mentioned things changing between them, it freaked her out. It wasn’t the fact that she wanted him to be her boyfriend, it was more the fact that she knew he wasn’t capable of giving her what she wanted. Because in the end, she wanted a man that was going to treat her the way she deserved to be treated. She needed someone who was going to be there for her, and someone who was romantic and loving and wouldn’t cheat on her with the first girl who caught his eye. Nora knew she’d never be able to find that with Harry. He’d proven that time and time again. She watched him with all the girls he cheated on Claire with – her being one of them. She knew he wouldn’t hesitate to do it again.
But what really threw her off was that she wanted Harry to be all those things for her. She wanted the romance and the special treatment and affection. And she wanted it from him. That was what made it all so hard. She wanted him. But she wanted a version of him that didn’t exist and it was hard to realize that sometimes. And that was what was making her decision to leave a hard one. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and give him a chance to change. But another part of her knew someone like him was never going to change no matter how many chances he was given.
But there was something about him that kept her from putting in her notice. Every day she put it off and it was all because of him – because he seemed to be changing right before her very eyes. He already did so much.
“Are you okay?” Nora heard Harry ask her when they got on the bus that morning.
“I’m fine. I was going to ask you the same thing,” she countered, eyeing him skeptically. She didn’t know where they really stood after last night. It was kind of all up in the air.
“I’m fine,” he shrugged passively and dropped the subject as they settled in as the rest of the guys piled onto the bus.
Luckily for all of them, the bus ride was less than three hours long and it wasn’t long before they were pulling into the venue. Harry listened to his iPod the whole time, laying across his favorite couch in the front lounge, really making it impossible for them to keep up with their dating façade. Nora was certain that any one of his band or crew members would catch on soon to the fact that the two of them really had nothing in common and on most days they couldn’t even stand to be around one another.
…
“How are you and Harry doing?” Nora heard Caroline ask her when they finally settled into the venue in New Orleans.
Nora cringed at the thought of answering the question. Their fake relationship was getting out of hand. If it was a real relationship, she would have felt some sort of pride over the fact that it seemed like everyone was rooting for them, but it all just made her feel sick to her stomach. She was sure it stemmed from the fact that she didn’t want to disappoint any of them and she knew it was going to happen when their fake relationship finally ended.
“Uh, we’re fine,” she lied, trying to look more pleasant than she felt.
“Is he treating you alright?” Caroline asked with a worried look on her face. Her question caught Nora off guard and made her chest tighten painfully.
“Oh. Of course he is. He, uh… he’s a gentleman,” Nora said, smiling weakly at her.
“I know he can be a little hard-headed at times, but he means well, Nora. I can see the adoration in his eyes when he looks at you,” Caroline told her, causing Nora’s whole face to flush and her stomach to tie in knots.
“We’re… we’re fine,” Nora stammered, finding no other words to say.
“I’m glad,” Caroline said, smiling sweetly at her, pausing for a moment before she nodded her head and exited the room.
Nora stopped what she was doing immediately and blew out a large breath feeling so much tension deep within her. The situation was incredibly hard and she didn’t know how much longer she could play along.
…
“Harry, can we… can we talk?” Nora asked him quietly a little while later when he finally came into the venue.
He stood talking with Josh, Jon, and Louis backstage and looked a little shocked that she was calling him away. Nora bit on her thumbnail, trying to calm her nerves, but everything about him made her anxious these days. She felt nervous to even talk to him, but she was sick of worrying about things. She just wanted to make everything perfectly clear.
“Uh, yeah. Sure,” he said glancing at the guys before sending her a wary look.
Harry followed Nora silently to the small dressing room and shut the door behind them without saying a word. Nora turned to face him feeling as if her frayed nerves were about to break. But she knew she needed to say what was on her mind.
She looked down at the floor as she twisted her hands together uncomfortably, almost to the point of invoking pain. Harry looked at her questioningly, noticing the stress she was putting on herself.
“Nora, what is it?” Harry asked quietly. Her eyes shot up to his, which held so many questions she didn’t have answers for.
“Just… I need… I need to know that… that when this all ends… I need to know that it will be amicable,” she stammered, still twisting her fingers together.
His eyebrows furrowed almost immediately, looking almost like a wounded little boy. It tore at her even further.
“Nora…” He breathed, knowing it was the beginning of the end.
“I don’t want there to be any fault on either of us. We just need… it just needs to be the end, you know. It just needs to be a clean break,” she told him.
“Now?” He choked, looking at her incredulously.
“Well, I mean…” She stammered, shrugging her shoulders lightly.
She didn’t really planned it to be that second, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized it was the right time. Maybe it needed to be over now when the tour was taking a break. They already broke so many rules together. They just needed to stop before they really got hurt.
“Nora…” He sighed, looking almost pained.
“Maybe it’s for the best, Harry,” she said quietly.
Harry took a confident step toward her – anger or resentment or passion reflecting in his eyes. Maybe all three. Nora wasn’t quite sure. But whatever it was dissipated quickly and he hesitated. He looked pained and confused, like he didn’t know how to handle the feelings he was feeling – whether it be the rejection or something more altogether.
“You’re leaving,” he stated. It wasn’t a question, it was a realization.
“I don’t see another way,” she told him quietly.
“I do,” he said more confidently, his eyes flaring like before.
“What, Harry?” She sighed, feeling defeat throughout her bones.
She was done fighting with him. She was done arguing. She just wanted it all to be done.
“Nora, let me—” He started, but cut himself off, letting out a weighted sigh.
“Let you what, Harry?” She asked him, shaking her head.
“I can be—do you want—please, Nora. I just…” He stammered, his words completely failing him.
“I can’t live like this anymore, Harry. I don’t want to,” she sighed, completely defeated.
Harry scrunched his face up for a few moments looking pained and torn, before his facial features evened out and he was staring back into her eyes again.
“Haven’t I changed, Nora? Haven’t I changed enough for you yet?” He asked, his words sounding more like a plea than a question.
“Harry…” Nora breathed, tears pricking at the back of her eyes.
“Do you want flowers and love letters, Nora? Because I can do that,” he said, catching her completely off guard with his words and their meaning.
Nora stood there gaping at him as he ran his fingers almost violently through his hair. Flowers and love letters?
“I can be your boyfriend, Nora. I can be what you want,” he told her, his voice strained with desperation.
“No, Harry. You can’t,” she said as she shook her head sadly, unable to meet his eyes anymore. But she heard the shudder in his breathing – the realization that his pleas weren’t helping.
“I never had a chance, did I? You made up your mind about me a long time ago,” he said, his voice resigned and harsh, piercing through her.
“Harry, I… I…” Nora stammered.
“I just… god, Nora,” he growled, whipping his hand through the air in an angered motion.
“You’d break me, Harry. You would break my heart,” she choked out as tears filled her eyes.
“You don’t know that,” he said with a glare.
“I’ve seen it. I feel it,” she told him as she pressed her hand to her heart, feeling the squeeze in her chest.
“Nora, this can’t…” He said as he shook his head.
“I’m going to tell Paul and Preston tonight,” she told him quietly.
“Nora…” He breathed, looking at her with the saddest eyes.
“I’m sorry, Harry,” she told him.
Their eyes bore into one another, their words silenced. They felt the weight and the pain and the stinging heartbreak of what it all meant, but neither of them could change the fact that it was inevitable from the start – that they were destined to break one another. Nora couldn’t be who he needed and he couldn’t be who she needed. And in the end, they both needed to realize that.
Nora broke her eyes away from his and quickly walked to the door. Without another word or glance in his direction she slipped out of the room. As she made her way down the abandoned hallway, her tears streaming helplessly down her face. She had no place to go, no place to be alone to fall apart. And that was made perfectly clear when she ran straight into Liam as he turned the corner.
“Nora, are you alright?” He asked, gripping onto her arms to steady her, seeing her ever-present tears.
“I’m fine. I’m fine,” she lied, wiping at her eyes furiously.
“What did Harry do?” Liam asked as his eyes darkened immediately, getting angered with his band mate.
“No, no. Just… it’s not like that. It just… we decided that things just… it wasn’t working between us. We… we broke up. It was mutual, Liam. I swear,” she said, sounding panicked.
“Are you… are you okay?” He asked, looking more and more skeptical with each passing second.
“I just need a little time. Just, please… this isn’t Harry’s fault,” she pleaded with him.
“Nora…” Liam said in a warning tone, not believing her.
“He’s a good person. It wasn’t him,” she told him as she shook her head. She needed Liam to believe it was amicable.
“You broke-up with him?” Liam asked.
“It was mutual,” she told him again. Liam eyed her for a few moments, but finally looked satisfied with her words.
“I just… I want to be alone right now,” she told him.
“Alright,” he said with a nod.
Nora turned back down the hallway and made a beeline into the nearest restroom, letting herself fall apart over a boy she never had a chance of ever having anything real with.
…
Liam continued on to the dressing room and found Harry sitting on the couch with his face in his hands.
“Are you okay?” Liam asked hesitantly.
Harry looked up suddenly and Liam could see the emotion on his face and the redness in his eyes.
“Are you crying?” Liam asked quietly as he took another step toward Harry. He’d never seen him like that before.
“Just leave me alone, Liam,” Harry grumbled, dropping his face into his hands again.
“I just talked to Nora…” Liam said and watched as Harry’s head shot up again, staring straight at him.
“You two broke up?” Liam asked cautiously. Harry scoffed, letting out a dark laugh before nodding his head somberly.
“Are you going to be okay?” Liam asked again.
“I’m fine, Liam. Just leave me alone, alright?” Harry snapped, his eyes darkening with annoyance.
“Alright, but if you want to talk about it…” Liam began to say.
“Bye, Liam,” Harry growled impatiently.
Liam nodded once before turning on his heels, leaving Harry alone to wallow in the mess he created.

Notes

Only TWO more chapters left!!