"With being himself..."

---

I walk inside my house and walk immediately to my room.
The talk with Ashley helped to get my feelings a little under control, but I still don't know what to do.
I'm afraid that if I go for Ashton, which by the way is nearly impossible because of Hunter, he'll hurt me again or that I don't really love him anymore.
And if I go for Dylan..... Okay, I don't know what's wrong with that unless it's friendship instead of love.
I sigh and decide to face my problems tomorrow.


~The next morning~

When I wake up I feel a lot better.
It's all going to fall in place, eventually...
I smirk and get dressed.


I walk into the office as I look on my watch. 8a.m. .
I smile walk further to my desk. I lay the papers on my desk and sit down.
Finally I can get to work.
No Ashton, no problems, just peaceful work.
I begin happily at some reports when I see Ashley beginning at a shoot. I smile and begin to read.
I don't work for long though; After 30 minutes Ashley comes in.
"Hey gurl." She smiles.
"Ashley, I'm fine." I say without looking up.
"I know, I came for business."
"Tell." I look up and lay my papers away.
"Kendall and Kylie asked if the photoshoot could a little earlier."
"What's a little?"
"Tomorrow."
"Can't."
"Why?"
"The clothes aren't hear yet, we need the new makeup and I'm not prepared. I'll need to get the studio ready."
"Can't you call for the clothes and makeup?"
"They're still designing! How am I supposed to get those clothes here?! They're not even made yet."
"Okay, I'll see what I can do." She sighs.
"Just say that they need to wait. We've made that appointment, they can't just change that." I return my eyes to the papers.
She nods and walks away again. I sigh and start over again.


"You know, I was thinking, maybe you should ask him.." Ashley says while she walks in a few hours later.
"What and who?" I look up.
"Ask Ashton if he has feelings for you."
"No way."
"Sierra, you're not 18 anymore, you're both grown up and you should be able to talk about it like grown-ups."
"I can't."
"You can."
"I can't."
"You can."
"No Ash, I ca-" I stop when I see her grab her phone.
"Ashley, what are you gonna do?" I can hear the suspicion in my voice.
She ignores me.
"Hey Ashton!" She says into the phone.
"Ashley, hang up the phone." I whisper.
"Oh, I just wanted to know when Sierra could come again. ... Yeah she's busy so she asked me to call you. ... Okay, I'll tell her, thanks Ashton." She smirks and hangs up the phone.
"You'll meet him in an hour." She smiles.
"What?!"
"Yeah, you're going to talk. If you don't, I will." She points a finger at me before leaving.
I sigh and rest my forehead against my hands.
"I would get ready if I was you!" She yells.
"Fuck off!" I reply.


So, I'm sitting in the car... again.
I drive to Ashton as I feel my hands get sweaty. Why would I be nervous? Why am I nervous every time? It's just Ashton.
"Okay, you can do this.. You won't die, so it's not that bad..." I whisper to myself as I park my car in front of his house.
I get out the car and walk to the front door. I hesitate before knocking.
I secretly hope he won't open, but the door flies open immediately.
"Hey Ashton." I say while I walk in.
"You can call me Ash, everyone does." He closes the door behind him.
"I don't, because I also call Ashley 'Ash' and when we're together it's a little confusing."
"We?"
"Yeah, you, Ashley, me and maybe others."
"Point taken."


We walk to his room.
"Ashley told me that you wanna talk?" He begins.
"Yeah..." I curse her in my mind.
"If it's about yesterday than..."
"No, it's not about that..."
"What is it?"
"I just wanted to know...."
I hesitate and don't dare to look at him.
"I wanted to know if you're still... you know.... have feelings for me.."
He looks at me and then sighs.
"I don't know." He finally answers.
"It's weird. I feel happiness, but I don't know if that's love... I just don't know.." He lifts his shoulders.
"You?" He asks.
"I don't know." I shrug.
"Do you wanna find out?"
"Yes.." I hesitate.
He pulls me closer.
"This is only to find out." He whispers.
"Only a kiss." I reply.
"Just one time."
I nod my head before laying my hand on his cheek and pull his lips onto mine.
All the memories from years ago come back.

(A/N: smut warning! If you're sensitive for this, I would advertise to skip this part)

I feel him laying his hands on my waist and I lay my arms instinctively behind his neck.
I moan quietly as I pull him closer.
He grabs the sides of my face softly and makes me lean against the door.
One hand searches for the lock while the other moves itself to my lower back. He moves me closer to him, locks his door and then leads me to the bed.
Still kissing, he undoes me from my jacket and shirt.
I break the kiss and unbutton his shirt one by one very slowly, but he doesn't help me. He just stares at me while I'm still busy with his buttons.
Suddenly, he seems to think that it takes too long and begins to help with the last buttons.
After his shirt is off he pushes me onto the bed. He climbs on top of me and kisses me again.
I smile while his hands are busy with my bra and his lips with my neck. They unclip it and take it off.
This is wrong, so wrong. Why does it feel so good when it's so wrong? Friends don't do this. Definitely not when they're both in a relationship.
Thoughts of Bryan flip through my mind, but it's like I'm not aware of their presence.
The only thing I can think about is Ashton.
No, Sierra, no. You can't, you're having something with Bryan.
Just when I wanted to stop us he kisses me.

Fuckk.

I can't concentrate.

And here I go...

Bye bye self control.

I unbuckle his belt and throw it on the floor. Our pants follow quick, just like our underwear.
His hand make its way down quickly and begins to rub circles around my clit. I moan softly while he slowly pushes one finger in me.
He smirks before going on. I moan while wanting him to go further. He softly pushes his lips against my clit.
His tongue rubs circles around my clit but suddenly he stops.
I moan again, hoping he would go further.
Finally, He adds another finger while he moves faster. I grab the sheets in my hands and he smirks again, knowing I'm close.
"You're close?" He guesses.
I nod my head, but I'm not able to speak.
I moan his name while I throw my head in my neck. He kisses me to mute the sound.. Or I guess it's to mute the sound.
After he knows that I'm done he sucks his fingers.
"Like I remembered." He whispers.
"What?" I'm officially confused.
"You taste like you used to." He smirks.
I smirk back. I wanted to get up because I thought that we were done, but he pushes me back and begins to kiss my neck while his hands move to my waist.
He kisses me hungry before pushes his whole length in me. I moan in his mouth while I throw my head in my neck.
"This is not a kiss." He whispers.
"I know."
"Do you mind?"
"Not at all." I pull him closer to me, wanting him to move.
He smirks and begins to move slowly.
"Ashton please." I whine.
"Sshh, I don't know if anyone is home." He smirks.
"Move faster than."
"What if I don't want to?"
"I know you want to, but you don't because you like to tease me."
"100 percent true."
"Than move faster." I whine.
He moves faster and faster until I can feel that he just lost his self control.
He moves himself totally in and out me and I can't do anything else than lay there and moan.
"Fuck.. Ashton.."
He groans and moves even faster.
"I'm.. close." I bring out.
"Me too. Cum, cum for me baby girl."
"Fuck.." I moan while I go through my second orgasm of the day.
"Damn..." I hear him curse while he I feel him cum too.
He pulls himself out of me. I can't read his eyes or expression right now, but I know he regrets it. I sigh and close my eyes.

--(A/N: okay, you can read on again.)

He lays down next to me and realises something.
"I didn't wear a condom." He whispers while his eyes grow bigger.
"I know."
"What if you're pregnant?"
"We'll figure that out later. The chance isn't big anyway."
He nods his head, comforted by that thought. Then he realises another thing.
"I cheated on Hunter." He groans while he lays a hand against his forehead.
I nod my head.
Of course he regrets it. Did you really thought that he would choose you over her? Besides you cheated on Bryan. He didn't deserve that, did he?
I sigh.
"Do you want the house key?" He asks suddenly.
"Why?"
"So you can walk in and don't need to wait until someone opens."
I nod my head and he smiles. He lays his hands on my cheek.
"So, does that answer your question?" He asks.
"Which question?"
"If I still had feelings for you."
"No."
"You wanna hear me say it, don't you?"
"Yes." I smirk.
"I have feelings for you and I don't regret what just happened."

Notes

Hey guys!!

So, this story is around the 25 (?) subscribers I thought (I don't know actually, I'm not looking at it 24/7)
That's 5 more than the first story so...
option 1: Y'all decided to randomly decided to unsubscribe the first story.
option 2: there a 5 more people (I hate it to use the word 'readers' because you're more my friends that I don't have in real life) who started to read when the first story was already completed.

So, I randomly wanna know if you began to read it after it completed or not.
No hate, I'm just curious.

And I wanna thank you all for bringing this story to life❤️ Me loves you❤️, All of you.

You're an awesome human being and let no one tell you any different. You're independent, brave, weird, awesome, cute, crazy, and fucking lovely. You're slaying this fucked up world more than anyone and show everyone who thinks different of you (in a negative way), you're worth it. You're worth it to fight for, you're definitely worth it to live. So live this life like you should. Do everything you wanna do, be everything you wanna be, make your own decisions. Why? you have one life to live, so make sure it counts. It's okay to be a reject, just go outside and slay the world like you should. Because being a reject is fucking awesome❤️.

so that was your daily encouragement❤️


And Until next time

xx

D❤️