Little Bird

The next few days passed with my moods differing almost as much as Harry’s had in the past, only anger wasn’t initially involved. One moment I would feel numb and empty, the next sad, tears threatening to spill down my cheeks from my distant, soft blue eyes and my heart wrenching painfully as I tried to come to terms with what had happened; grief controlling me, heavy within me as I sunk into sadness. And then the next moment, a smile would be tugging at my lips, an odd sense of happiness sparking inside of me, but that was all down to Harry.
He was being exceptionally nice to me; treating me with such delicacy and care as though he feared I’d crack before his very eyes. Something was different with him, and I think he was doing everything he could to try and cheer me up, make me feel better after everything that had happened.
He watched Supernatural with me, enduring my favourite program for another two whole seasons even though I was almost positive he hated it; he cooked my favourite food for me, and woke me up with pancakes; showered me with genuine compassion and concern, and kept his anger at bay, far from me.
Harry had also revealed he’d remembered that he had some of my other possessions, two suitcases that were supposed to travel with me to University. I noticed that my laptop, iPod and phone wasn’t in there, but still I got some of my books and films – which I appreciated nonetheless.
I assumed Harry’s unfathomable kindness was due to the other day, but I couldn’t help but think there was more to it. And the kindness Harry showed me made a part of me feel a little disheartened, because Harry was my kidnapper and he wasn’t supposed to be considerate of my feelings; he wasn’t supposed to care; he wasn’t supposed to try and make me feel better – but he did seemingly care – he was trying to make me feel better. I couldn’t help the small sinking feeling in my chest, thinking that not even my own mother had considered making that attempt.
I sat in the living room, on the floor with my back pressed against the couch and my favourite book in my hands, almost laughing because of the complete and utter ridiculousness of the situation. I had been kidnapped and I was happily reading, a bowl of noodles lying next to me as I sat contently.
Kidnapping situations clearly differed from stereotypical, action movies or stories that I had witnessed on the news or in the papers.
“Hey Little Bird, I have another little something for you.” Harry momentarily popped his head around the doorframe, a small grin playing on his lips.
I looked curiously up at him, tilting my head slightly while he just continued grinning. “What is it?” I asked softly.
His head disappeared for a brief moment, and then he walked into the middle of the room. He put two fingers to his mouth, and then went to whistle, but before he could my attention was diverted as I heard scampering across the laminate floor, and a tiny puppy run gleefully into the room. Harry shook his head, “I’ve been trying to get him to respond to the whistle all day, but I guess he was just so excited to meet you.”
The tiny puppy climbed on my legs, its small bark filling the room as it continued to climb up my body until knocking the book out of my hands, and rubbing it’s small, wet black nose against my hand; causing my lips to form a smile that a laugh fell from. I proceeded to pet it, admirably running my eyes across the soft white fur, the odd brown patch on its body, brown ears perked upwards and brown eyes darting around the room.
“Who’s this?” I asked in awe, picking the unknown puppy up in my hands, laughing loudly as it licked my face multiple times.
“Whoever you want it to be, he’s yours.”
I looked up, allowing the puppy down from my hands back to the floor as I stared at Harry in shock; completely and utterly bewildered.
This is definitely not how kidnappers work.
Either Harry had some hidden motive that he refused to let slip, or movies about kidnapping had been lying to me the entire time I had been growing up – as had adults that warned their kids of the terrible things that happened when people were kidnapped. Granted, Harry had been angry and he had lashed out and I was still frightened of him; but he bought me a puppy. An actual puppy!
Or, either Harry’s mood swings were far more intense than mine could ever be and he had a serious issue at hand, or there were two Harry’s.
I really didn’t know what to think.
“Wha- really?” I asked, lips agape.
Was… was he messing with me?
“Sure.” He answered simply, “Do you like it?”
I could only nod my head, still really confused, before I realised that my reaction didn’t show much appreciation. And I really did appreciate – that is, if he wasn’t messing with me. I smiled at him, real and genuine and honest, a smile that hopefully conveyed how grateful I was. He had clearly gone to a lot of effort, and even if I was completely unsure why he had, I wanted Harry to know that his act of kindness hadn’t gone unappreciated.
“Thank you.” I said softly and sincerely.
Harry responded with a smile; “So, what d’ya want to call him?”
I looked towards the puppy who had gained an interest in my bowl of noodles, laughing loudly when he stuck his head in and began consuming my food. My head arched as my eyes locked on Harry’s. “Noodles,” I grinned happily, silently thanking Harry for his efforts to make me feel better, thanking him for his kindness, and praying hopefully that it would last.

~*~

Contrary to what I had hoped; Harry’s good mood didn’t last very long at all.
It happened gradually, but by the time we were two days after Noodles’ arrival, he had a face that that read ‘Don’t-bother-trying-to-speak-to-me-because-I-am-majorly-pissed.’ I had no idea what he was pissed about, just that he had been speaking through gritted teeth on the phone, the occasional loud shout filling the room when he presumed I wasn’t near. Most of the time he spoke in a low, hushed voice, meaning I could hear the anger in his voice but mot the actual words that would have helped me figure out what was going on.
The constant phone calls that seemed to be sucking the good mood right out of him shouldn’t have bothered me; why should I have cared? But they made me uneasy and anxious, the paranoid part of me thinking the worst.
I had been thinking about when my parents would discover that I wasn’t at University, that I had never even been. Surely at one point they would have tried calling me, my mother to chastise me on what had happened at the funeral, and when they couldn’t contact me, they’d have to ring the University somehow – or at least I thought they would, hoped they would. And if they did, what would they do?
Harry must have thought about this; he must have considered the consequences, and with him being in such a foul mood, it practically radiating from him, it shouldn’t have been the time to voice my curiosity, but I never did choose my moments quite right.
I walked into the kitchen where he stood, phone gripped tightly in his hands as he stared down at the device; brow furrowed and jaw clenched.
“Harry,” I said quietly, waiting until he looked up at me to continue. I should have known from his expression that maybe it’d be best if I didn’t carry on, and sealed my lips to prevent anything that certainly wouldn’t end up in my favour; but I hated not knowing what was going on, and I really wanted to know what Harry would do when he realised that my parents would just have to investigate my whereabouts.
“What’s going to happen when my mum and dad figure out I’m not at University?” I asked quietly.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “What makes you think they will?”
I frowned slightly. How long was Harry planning on keeping me here? He couldn’t have been naïve enough to believe that my parents would never question where I was, when I never answered their calls (I didn’t even know where my phone was), or I never contacted them in anyway; and that I had never even turned up on my arrival date.
Surely he couldn’t have thought that they would never realise I was missing?
“Well, they’re going to be – urm, suspicious when they figure out that I’m not there,” I told him, “What’s going to happen then?”
A part of me kind of expected him to admit that he’d just have to let me go, that the risk was too high in keeping me with him when they were out looking for me; but reality was far different from my expectations, and even for me, it was ridiculous of me to have been so hopeful.
“Does it matter, Birdy? It’s not going to change anything.” Harry said simply, rolling his eyes conveying his irritation.
My brow furrowed deeper, his irritation seemingly rubbing off on me as I thought angrily how nonchalant he was being. I was being held captive; I was enduring a bundle of consuming emotions that had rekindled as a result of my granddad’s death; I was crumbling beneath the weight on my shoulders, confused and scared and desperately needing some kind of reassurance that everything would be okay – and here he was, no longer the Harry that had been intent on cheering me up, but acting as if my captivation, and my upside down world was nothing out of the ordinary.
He was acting as if I shouldn’t question my insane situation.
“Well yeah.” I muttered, bitterness seeping into my tone. “In case you haven’t noticed, this isn’t the most normal of situations; it’d be nice to know what was going on.”
“Birdy.” He snapped. “If I say it doesn’t matter; it doesn’t matter. I’m already pissed; don’t give me another reason to get angrier, especially not with you.”
“But it does matter! I need to know what’s going to happen, are you going to keep me here for the rest of my life? I can’t just sit here and accept this, I can’t not think about this!” I raised my voice slightly in exasperation, now finally voicing my thoughts, realising just how much I needed to do so. I was tired of sitting and thinking about the life I was being forced to leave behind, and for what? I didn’t want to waste my life away in Harry’s house, living in fear that he would hurt me, living with resentment and bitterness towards my captor.
I had been caged in my entire life and then the one opportunity I had to escape was taken from me, as I was snatched and caged up again. It wasn’t fair; I wanted to be free.
All thoughts I had been harbouring, keeping inside of me, and all hidden feelings were escaping from me, bursting out in an attempt to show Harry just how much I was hurting.
“I don’t want my life to be like this, I want to be free.”
Harry’s earlier expression had developed into one of fury; his eyes darkened and jaw locked tightly; features cold and hard and fists balled at his sides. He advanced forward, closing the small distance between us. I wanted to recoil back feebly, clamp my lips shut and flee from the scene before I got myself into more trouble. But instead I stood my ground; bravely holding his harsh and intense stare, his dark and sinister eyes.
“Jesus Christ, Birdy!” He exclaimed, “You want your old life back, is that what you want? You want to go back to your fucking devil-like mum who couldn’t give two shits about you; or your dad that didn’t say one fucking word to you the entire time you were at that funeral? You want to go to University and spend god knows how long working your ass off for something you actually despise just to please someone who, either way, won’t ever appreciate your effort because you’ll never be good enough for her! You’re telling me you want to be free, but you never fucking were Birdy!”
Maybe under different circumstances I would have backed down; with a feeling of undeniable anguish gnawing at my gut at the obvious truth behind his blunt words, but my annoyance that I felt towards him only increased. I was sick of him.
I briefly wondered how this could be the same person who just two days ago had surprised me with a puppy, his kindness something that now had completely dissipated. But I disregarded the thought; I didn’t care, either way, his kindness was forgotten as anger controlled the both of us.
“And I never freaking will be!” I cried angrily, “I can never be free if you keep my here! I still don’t even know why I’m here! I mean – what kind of life is this, sitting here in your house bored out of my mind and thinking until my brain actually hurts? I don’t want to live like that! I don’t want this!”
“It doesn’t matter that you don’t want this because either way it’s not going to fucking change! You’re mine! You belong to me, this is your life now – I thought after the other day we’d finally established that. Or do I need to remind you again?”
If I hadn’t already burst, I burst right then and there. “Fuck you!” I shrieked angrily, “Fuck you and fuck your stupid possessiveness and fuck your god damn stupid house! In fact, why don’t you go fuck yourself?”
I couldn’t remember the last time I was so angry, I couldn’t remember the last time I had allowed myself to voice my thoughts and feelings in such an fury-infested outburst I felt like my ears were going to burn off they were so red. All the suppressed feelings towards Harry came out at once, all the bitterness and outrage and resentment and raging emotions that I wasn’t accustomed left in a rushed explosion, a fit of uncontrollable temper.

Harry exploded, too.
I flinched, backing up and squeezing my eyelids tight shut as Harry raised his hand. I anticipated the harsh blow, but it never came.
My eyes timidly opened to find Harry’s hand rose in mid air, his face transforming from pure anger to one of horror. His lips were agape and eyes wide as he looked from my terrified expression to his hand, and then back to my terrified expression.
“Birdy I-”
I merely shook my head, and sped off upstairs.
I buried my face in my pillow and pulled the covers over my head. I expected Harry to come in at one point, maybe to argue or shout at me o maybe to apologies and comfort me.
But he never did.
I was left on my own, with him pointedly avoiding me and Noodles god knows where; numbness in my chest, I attempted to drift off to sleep, feeling completely and utterly alone.

Notes

I UPLOADED THIS LIKE 3 DAYS AGO BUT APPARENTLY THIS SITE HATES ME AND IT DIDNT FUCKING UPLOAD AND YEA at least its here now
I know this chapter is a bit messy, I was going to have it just where Harry's being all nice but I didn't have a lot to put in it and I figured it might be a bit boring
anyway, I'm not happy with this chapter but that might just be because I want to hurry up and write the next few:)
let me know what you think, though, I love hearing your thoughts :-)
ooh and this is noodles!
i have no idea what kind of dog it is but its cute and i want it