Little Bird - Comments

I love this story with you would update it

The chapter was amazing!!!! Do not Hate it! I loved it very detailed and love how Birdy shouted thatvshe dies care about Harry :) doing great darling

You are an amazing writer...very gifted. Love reading how you write and make this story perfect.

Well I loved it!! Liam is an ass.. Louis is sooo sweet though :)

good luck with your last year in high school!! again i love your story and i can't wait for more!! (i wish i had instagram to follow you and get in touch with you but i don't :/ )

Congrats on the last year if high school. It is bittersweet I miss HS ALOTTT.. I have Instagram I'll follow ya. I'm not in there as much as I am fb and twitter but can't wait for the new chapter :) Good luck this year

LOVE THIS CHAPTER!!! can't wait to see what birdy and louis got goin on... :)

So here I am at 4am reading this newest chapter! :) very much pleased I've been waiting for Harry and her to have their moment of intimacy. Love love loved it!!! please everyone keep writing :)

@loutherouge
It's @iowagirl669 profile name is **∆lison** something like that anyways lol

@Allie Miller
whats your twitter so can follow back :))

I followed you on twitter.. I'm almost caught up too lol ive been feeling Terrible the last few days but your doing an excellent job :)

<3 <3

well, i love your story and i've created a tumblr account just to be able to comment it... it is amazing and so well written and you know it's hard for me to stay focused and not to get bored and you did it!! you kept me focused and interested from the start!! i must also say that chapter 16 is just awsome... it was sensitive although it was kinda dirty... you discribed the scene very well :P i don't know what else to say i just love it update soon and keep up the good work!!
@loutherouge

@Allie Miller Preach it!!





@Allie Miller

@loutherouge
you are very welcome. People like that piss me off all they ever see is the negative in life. they are bullies and that's all they'll ever be.

first off i would just like to thank you both for standing up for me. i haven't been looking at my comments recently because i just didn't want to read something that would make me not want to update this story anymore.
secondly i would like to thank you both individually


@Niall's_Girl
you have been here since the beginning and i would just like to thank you for staying and reading this story and commenting and defending me.



@Allie Miller
you are right when you said it was my story and i should write it as i want. so thank you for that. and thank you for the lovely compliments

@Niall's_Girl
First off EXCELLENT story!!! Very well written and very well thought out. Secondly its YOUR story so write it as you wish don't let assholes get to you..

@#87727
If you don't like the nature of the story don't read it, its that simple. Write your own masterpiece and portray the boys as you wish.. You have no right going off like that, constructive criticism is fine but you went way too far. Like I said write your own story if you don't like this one. Apparently she's not losing any sleep over it.
@Niall's_Girl keep up the excellent writing, you have a true gift don't let others bring you down :) can't wait to read more you have my vote and subscription :)

@#87727
If you don't like it then don't read it!

@#87727
Wow that was kinda rude!

Let me start by saying that I think you're a decent writer. This is not a good story. The characters are not well-developed. Birdy is incredibly shallow and weak. Let's break this down in a realistic manner:
1. Birdy's life is so miserable. She has the worst parents. How terrible they are for wanting to pay for a college education for her and see her do well in life. That is simply awful.
2. Birdy is kidnapped, with chloroform no less, and taken to the home of an 18 year old with curly hair and emerald eyes. Let's say emerald eyes one more time in case we all missed the fact that he has emerald eyes.
3. Her kidnapper is 18 and a homeowner. Yet, he doesn't seem to have to work for what he has. His wealth has yet to be explained.
4. Harry's friends have no problem with the fact that he is violent and kidnapped a young girl simply because he wanted to. They are super loyal. Loyal to the point that if Harry is caught, they would most certainly be charged with accessory to felony kidnapping. These are some great friends that go along with your violent, psycopathic, and let's not forget, criminal activity.
5. Louis confirms that Harry was not involved with a gang (the rich kidnapper gang, maybe), but that he was hanging with the wrong people. Maybe Cuban drug lords? Maybe this is how he made his money?
6. Birdy gets "one phone call", calls her mother who is an unfeeling woman who is so out of touch with her daughter that she thinks she somehow got herself to college with none of her parent's involvement. Odd, especially since she's such an oppressive mother that she was adamant she go to college. Anyway, on this one call, her cardboard mother drops the horrid news of the death of granddad. Oh, no! Trauma for Birdy! So much trauma that she runs and manages to get out of the terrible luxury prison she's been in. Damn! I was hoping the reason she ran was to get the hell out of psycho Harry's clutches. But not so.
7. Birdy is a terrible runner. Harry, who was nowhere near her in the house, manages to catch her and drag her back inside. This is where shit gets real. He has to "punish" her. Harry takes the substantial step, something completely irretrievable, and he physically assaults Birdy by hitting her across the face. This is where there is no going back. Birdy should have kicked his balls into his throat and proceeded to smash his stupid face in. Instead, she cries. She has no guts. She has no fight or flight instinct. She's a whiny, bawling victim. For me, this is the critical part of the story that can't be overcome because it is never acceptable- NEVER acceptable- for anyone to physically assault another person. I can never see psychopath Harry as a good guy. Not ever. This simply can't be excused. The only logical outcome at this point is that either Birdy gets some guts and murders him while he sleeps or Louis turns the tables and gets her the hell out of there and turns Harry in to the police.
8. Instead, Harry hangs Birdy up on a hook and leaves her there, handcuffed and wrists torn and raw. Instead of screaming and resisting, she falls asleep. Harry finally comes up and releases her from the strange contraption and she stumbles and knocks her head (silly, clumsy girl!).
9. Well, truth comes out with the help of loyal, criminal Louis that the only reason she ran was because of dear old grandpa- not because she was horrified at being kidnapped. Lucky for Birdy, Harry has come down from his psychotic rage (not before a strange stand off with Louis about power and control over whether Birdy can go upstairs or not) and he now wants to take care of her, he only wants her to be happy with him. Typical abusive circle- anger, rage, physical assault, period of cooling down, contrition from the abuser. But our Birdy is stupid and can't recognize it. Instead, she finds herself smiling at him, adoringly because gosh darn it, he's so cute with his green emeralds.
So, this whole thing reeks of criminal abuse and Stockholm Syndrome. Harry can't ever be a "good guy" in this story because he's creepy and abusive. Unless, perhaps, he suffers a traumatic brain injury and becomes a completely different person. Sorry, to be so critical, but this is really an awful idea.
You're writing is good in places and you can develop it and write better stuff than this.