Blue

The second I was released from the hospital, Harry booked a flight for us and whisked me to off to London. He had recording to do on their next album, try to work in time to at least briefly say hi to his family, and then fly back to the States to start the most hectic part of the tour. The boys would constantly be on the move: shows in different cities with only a day rest in between. He looked tired just looking over the list of tour dates neatly scheduled on his phone calendar.

And, at some point, we had to talk about our shit too.

I think we both knew we had a lot of figuring to do, but really we were just kind of pushing it off to the side. We just spent our time naked, touching and fucking and kissing—Harry got all the make-up sex he wanted—but we just hung out. It felt like it always did: we didn’t talk about the future, because the future was him leaving on tour. It was him being gone.

This went on for almost three weeks.

And it was heaven.

He finally mentioned it when we were laying outside beside his pool. Our bathing suits were drying in the sun; somehow he’d managed to spill his strawberry infused water all over the patio—the glass was still overturned where he left it. Neither of us cared. He was running his fingers down the slightly, barely noticeable swell in my stomach, connecting the dots of water on my skin. We’d been silent for a while, but he finally pressed his soft lips to my shoulder. “Do you still not want to tell your mum about the baby?”

“No. She’ll lose her shit. Besides, my brothers and sisters can’t keep a secret: there’s less of a chance the media would find out if you glued a positive pregnancy test to your shirt and wore it to a show. When I was fifteen, I tried to have a “secret ice cream club” with Emily, Joy, and Alex. The second my parents walked into the house, Joy said, ‘Mom, we have a secret ice cream club with Laney and we used all the chocolate syrup.’”

He chuckled, nuzzling his face to mine. “What about my mum?”

“If you want to tell her, I’m cool with it.” I reached down and tangled my fingers in his curls. “God, I’m going to be someone’s mother. I’m just not sure if I’m adult enough to…adult like that. I mean, I can order a pizza and can balance my checkbook and have a reasonable grasp on algebra. I mean, is that enough for me to pass down to a kid?”

“My mum was young when she had me and Gemma. Look how brilliant I turned out.” He cradled my face in his hand and gently turned my face towards his. “Have you decided where you’re going to stay?”

I wanted to stay with him, but we’d both decided it was better for me to “land” somewhere. Tour was stressful. I was tired and, recently, nauseous. He was going to be swamped; constantly on the move and was suddenly in an absolute panic that I might not make a doctor’s appointment when I should or that I might get overwhelmed being around fans and paparazzi. Being apart was going to be shit, but ultimately it was going to be better for the baby—and that’s what mattered.

And, in the long run, we wanted to keep our sweet little secret just between us for as long as we could.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to stay with my mother.”

He brushed loose strands of hair back from my forehead, gently pressing his lips to mine. “I think you should stay here, my place. You’re close to Mum, you’d be close to Gemma. They can help you and take care of you…ehm…when I can’t. I’m going to miss so much of your pregnancy. God, I hate it.”

“It’s a slow process.” I gestured to my belly. “The baby won’t be here until Christmas. You’re done, when, the end of October? Just in time for when I looked like a beached whale and praying my water doesn’t break at an inopportune moment.”

He was quiet for several moments and then pushed himself up, rolling off the oversized lounge. “I bought you a present. Let me get it…just…wait right here.”

He scampered back into the house, his ass just barely visible through his wet, white swim trunks (adorable) and disappeared through the French doors. I looked down at my stomach and sighed, gently rubbing my hand over the swell. I’d only gained about three pounds, but the doctor was ridiculously excited. The baby’s heart rate was strong and the sonograms showed he or she was constantly wiggling and rolling around my abdomen. I still had to make my first official pregnancy appointment but, first I was going to need to figure out where I was staying while he was away on tour. Staying at his house in London sounded amazing, but I’d be alone. Not that I had mobs of people back in NOVA, but at least I had family. And Vi.

This would be a lot fucking easier if we were actually telling people about the baby.

Before I gave it anymore thought, Harry came bounding out of the house, carrying a large gift bag. He handed it to me. “Surprise!”

I giggled. The bag was pretty light weight, so, it wasn’t a coffee maker or something random like Harry usually liked buying (I still had no idea why we had three crockpots). I swept aside the tissue paper and reached inside, pulling out a patterned leather bag. It was a pretty light blue pattern with a beige background and a darker blue padded shoulder strap. The centralized pocket was larger and there were two smaller pockets on each end. “Aw, Hazza. You got me a diaper bag. A…Gucci diaper bag. You know what goes in diaper bags, right?”

“Admittedly, I have a problem, uh, resisting Gucci.” He chuckled and sat down beside me again, draping his arm around me. “I wanted my first Baby Styles present for you to be special.”

I leaned over and pressed my lips to his. “Baby Styles is absolutely adorable.”

“I am massively excited.” He smiled shyly at me. “Soooo….what you do think about staying here? At my place? Actually…let’s be honest, Laney love, it’s our place.”

“Well, I mean, yeah. Other than the loneliness factor.”

“You’re allowed to leave, you know.” He chuckled. “Have Vi come out and stay with you. My mum and Gems will be outside constantly, once they know about Baby Styles. You won’t be able to get rid of them.”

“You’re pretty intent on me staying here, Hazza.” I raised my eyebrows, gently nudging him with my elbow. “You’ll come home and find all your shirts stretched out from me wearing them over my girthy stomach.”

“Girthy stomach, listen to you.” He laughed and again kissed me softly. I noticed his foot was tapping against the ground; like he was nervous about something. If he saw me notice, he didn’t say anything. “Maybe we can go to Mum’s tonight? Show her your tiny little baby bump.”

“It looks like a food baby.” I again touched the light swell in my low belly. “If I didn’t see the sonogram, I probably wouldn’t believe it either.”

He brushed my hair back from my face, gently trailing his fingers down my cheek. “I love you, Laney. More than you know.”

“I love you too, Hazza.” I smiled at him. “But I love you most.”

He smiled, gently pressing his fingertip into one of my cheek studs. His smile was shy, his lips quivering slightly. “Sweet love, the time we spent apart…it made me realize how much I adore you. But…ehm…more so…it made me realize that I can’t live without you. You’re everything to me, Laney.”

“I feel like it brought us closer together,” I leaned against him, “but I still wish it hadn’t happened.”

He dipped his head down and pressed his lips to my shoulder. “There’s another present in the bag. The diaper bag, I mean.”

“Is there? You distracted me.” I flipped the top of the diaper bag back and peered inside. “I don’t…oh, wait, now I see it.”

I reached into the bag and pulled out a pale blue box, wrapped with an ivory ribbon. I glanced at him. “Is this for me, or Baby Styles?”

He pursed his lips together, grinning so that his dimples deepened, and shrugged. “It might be for you.”

I untied the ribbon and gently lifted the top off the box. Inside was an ivory box.

A jewelry box.

I glanced up at him. He ran his hand through his hair, sweeping his bangs off to the side. His eyes were locked on the box and he looked insanely intense. There was a slight, almost unperceivable shake in his hands.

I swallowed hard. Sliding the jewelry box out, my hands immediately started shaking. I knew I shouldn’t get nervous or excited or anything else. He’d got me presents before. Obviously, it was jewelry. It was from Tiffany’s. But….this….it didn’t mean anything…specific.

….I opened the box.

Inside, was an enormous, square cut diamond ring.

My jaw dropped. “Oh my God…”

Harry gently took the box out of my hands and slid down onto one knee, taking my hand in his. “Laney…will you marry me?”

My breath froze in my throat. This was actually happening: the words we’d talked about for ages, the little joke when he’d make dinner reservations for Mr. and Mrs. Styles. But this was real. I didn’t even have to think about my answer. I nodded, trying to hold back the tears that were welling up in my eyes. “Yes, absolutely. Yes!”

His beautiful smile made the tears stream down my cheeks; he fumbled for a moment, pulling the ring out of the box took him two tries. Then gently, his hands trembling, he lifted up my left hand and slid the ring on my finger. It was gorgeous.

I held my hand up, my fingers still shaking, and looked at the ring, from the huge diamond to the dainty, platinum band. Harry was still down on one knee, his eyes red rimmed with tears. “Do you like it?”

I could still hardly speak; it felt like time had slowed down. It was surreal: it was just us, together, in the silence of his back patio. He was staring into my eyes, with that look of intensity; that searing gaze like we were the only two in existence. I nodded. “It’s beautiful, Hazza.”

He grinned and jumped up, pulling me into his arms and crushing his lips to mine. “I am so excited to marry you, gorgeous girl. I have never been as happy in my life as I am right now.”

“Me either.” I raised up on my tiptoes and kissed him again. “Now more secrets to keep.”

“Hardly. We’ll keep Baby Styles a secret, but this?” He lifted my hand up, pressing his lips to my knuckles. “I don’t care who knows. You’re my girl, my bride. And I am so, so excited to spend the rest of my life with you.”

I looked at the ring again. This was actually happening. “Oh my God. A baby, a wedding. Jesus, just when everything was getting back to our bizarre normal, it’s about to change like, a million percent.”

“I’m keeping you busy while I finish up the tour.”

“No doubt.”

He picked me up in his arms, gently spinning me in a circle. “Mrs. Styles.”

“Mr. Styles.”

And then he kissed me. The sweetest, most perfect kiss ever. I was so in love with him—after so much uncertainty and upheaval, things were going to change again. What started out as just a night of us lusting and losing control, we were going to get married. Have a baby.

But, the only two who knew, were us. And when the world found out….I wasn’t sure what was going to happen.

I just knew that we were in it together.

Notes

Hoping you guys like this one!!