‘’Well Kris, I enjoyed it very much… despite the few issues.’’ I tell her as I step onto the front steps. ‘’I enjoyed your company, too, Harry. And your little girl was a joy.’’ She says with a smile.

Before long, Kendall and I had gotten to the car after a small good bye chat with Kris and Kim in the front door. I open Lily’s door and sit her bag in the floorboard. ‘’Dada.’’ She mumbles gently as I sit her in the car seat.

‘’You sleepy baby?’’ I ask her as she rubs her eyes with her fists. She yawns and I find myself slightly smiling at my little angel. It was almost 10, way past her bed time, which is 9. She hardly ever stays up this late.

I buckle her in and kiss her forehead before shutting the door and getting in the car to start it up. ‘’You mind if I stay over?’’ Kendall asks as I crank the car up. I sigh gently to myself as I glance over at her to see she was on her phone, like always.

‘’Um.. well.. um.. Katie’s.. going to stay over.’’ I tell her as I pull out of the long drive way. ‘’Oh.. why?’’ She asks, sorta surprised. Katie hasn’t slept any where near me in literally ten months. I used to stay over with her when Lily was a few months old, but that soon ended because she thought it would be best if I didn’t and I just came over during the day.

But that ended too. And our new agreement took place. To be honest, I'd rather go back to the old one. Don't get me wrong, I love keeping my little baby but I also love seeing Katie's beautiful face.. But whatever.

‘’Her boyfriend and her are.. arguing.’’ I mumble. ‘’Why does she have to stay over.. tonight?’’ Kendall says, I could tell she was annoyed. But fuck her. Katie means way more to me than she does, and I’ll be damned if she hasn’t realized that yet.

“Because I told her she could, that’s why.’’ I say, my voice slightly getting louder. I didn’t try to, but Kendall needs to realize that its my house, not hers. Its my life, not hers. Its my business.. not hers.

‘’Well.. I thought we could watch a movie in the living room… but..’’ She stops herself. ‘’For one, I’m tired and I’m not sitting up all night long. And two, I don’t want to do shit with you. You’re so damn.. annoying.’’ I snap suddenly, my temper rising.

‘’Excuse me?’’ She laughs lightly in shock. ‘’How can you just brag about Katie in front of your family.. but when you’re with me you bitch about her?’’ I ask. ‘’I’m not bitching.’’ She tells me. ‘’Yes you are.’’ I laugh back, in shock and full of sarcasm.

“Harry.. I’m just saying.. don’t you think it’s a little.. stupid to have her over. Hell, she doesn’t even like you. In any way.’’ Kendall says. ‘’Your just jealous.. that’s all.’’ I shrug gently as I keep my eyes on the road.

‘’I am not jealous.’’ She huffs. ‘’Wanna bet?’’ I remark. Kendall doesn’t say anything. That bitch knows she’s jealous. ‘’You’re jealous.. because,’’ I pause and smirk lightly to myself. I’m going to make this bitch prove it, even if she wants to or not. So, I continue.

‘’Because you know that I don’t give a fuck about you.. You know I’d rather be with Katie any day than to spend another second pretending your anything to me, and that includes a friend. You’re just jealous.. because you know I’d never fuck you.. isn’t that right?’’ I ask as I glance over at her before focusing on the road again.

‘’I don’t care about fucking you, Harry.’’ She says with a little attitude. ‘’Yeah ya do.. isn’t that what you and your damn family think about all the time? What size dick you can get? Well trust me, and you can go tell your Mommy and your sisters this.. I don’t want to fuck you. Because I don’t fuck fake people.’’ I say, no attitude, no emotion. Nothing but the damn truth.

And all she does is huff. But she knows its all true.

---

‘’You’re leaving in the morning.. I have better things to do than see your face.’’ I spat at Kendall as she continues to bitch. ‘’Whatever.’’ She rolls her eyes as she opens the door, after I unlock it.

‘’Go fuck yourself.’’ I reply. ‘’Bitch.’’ She mumbles before making her way upstairs. Fuck her. I don’t need to see her to be happy. I have my little girl, and that’s all that matters to me.

Speaking of my angel, I left her bag in the car. Ugh. I hold Lily in my arm so that her head is on my shoulder. She was asleep and she doesn’t like to be woken up. I slowly walk back to the SUV.

When I get there, I open the door and grab the bag and shut the door back. Before I knew it we were back at the door and were ready to go in. I closed the door behind me and I turned both locks before heading upstairs.

But as I breathed through my nose, I smelled something I’d never thought I’d smell. Chocolate. Not just any cake, my cake. I smile gently to myself before going upstairs and quietly going to Lily’s room.

I open the door and flick on the lights. Slowly, I walk over to Lily’s crib and carefully lie her down after kissing her forehead. I cover her up and she stirs a little, but soon gets still as she gets comfortable.

I leave the room, leaving the door half open. Most of the times I would let Lily sleep with me, but I had something to do before I could even think about getting in the bed. I go back downstairs to see if it was really one of Katie's amazing masterpieces.

---

Some how I made my way upstairs before passing out due to lack of sleep these past few nights, Lily’s fault. But I’d never blame my princess for it. I’ll just blame myself.

It was 10:30p.m.

My head was banging and my eyes fought to stay open longer than I knew they could. I glanced at the bathroom door, making sure I locked it. I did. Good, if any one caught me.. I’d never be able to explain.

I sigh to myself as I lean down to the sink counter. I take a deep breath and release it as I stare at the lines of white powder on the marble counter top. This habit has gone on for a while, and I’m sure it won’t stop any time soon.

As I grip the small cylinder, plastic pipe between my fingers, I think of all the people I could hurt if I died because of this. But then I think of things I could relieve myself of. The stress. The pressure. The pain. The sorrow. The everything.

Instead of stopping like I try to do time after time, I put the bottom of the pipe at the beginning of the first line.

And I start the process that won’t take long to finish..

Notes

clllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiiffffffffffff hhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggeeeeeerrrrr!!!!

Bet ya didn't see that coming!!!

I will update soon, please comment those thoughts my loves! Sorry for the wait!! Love ya!!

---B