Reviews, Tips and What-Not

Second Review, this story is by kkgal14 and Telichia :3

Okay so I only read the first chapter because there was quite a few mistakes in it so I decided not to read on. They're nothing that would put you off reading the story, its just that if you fix them your story will look more professional and you will become a better author. Even though I already know you're a great author thanks to Picture Perfect, fixing these small mistakes will make you seem even better! Now, they're only very small, understandable mistakes, but here goes... (I'm gonna jump straight into it)

1. 'Which meant, that he left that morning at 5' - should be 'five' and maybe take out one of the 'thats' - 'Which meant, he left that morning at five'

2. 'Till this very day, I go there to think' - we need to know more - 'Ever since I was little I'd go there to think. Till this very day, I still go there to think'

3. 'The first bell rang as I entered the halls, signalling that first class was about to start in 5 minutes' - again, five - 'The first bell rang as I entered the halls, signalling that first class was about to start in five minutes'

4. 'I put on my best smile-something I always did' - we need a space or else it looks like one word - 'I put on my best smile - something I always did'

5. The teacher's name at the start of the story was 'Mr.Croch' and then later on it was 'Mr.Crosh' - pick one or the other

6. 'He pointed to a girl I've never spoken before' - needs a 'to' - 'He pointed to a girl I've never spoken to before'

Other than these very small and understandable mistakes your story was very good. 7/10 I guess...

Notes

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:)