And maybe if I tell you I love you everyday, you'll remember it, even when you sleep.

"Presley," my side is being rubbed, and my name is being whispered. Harry's hair is tickling my chin, and my heart is still sad. "Baby," Harry mumbles again. I can feel a kiss on my neck, and his face nuzzle me.

"I'm up," I'm half asleep, actually.

"No you're not. Come on pretty baby. Up."

"Hazard," I groan, trying my best to push him off, without injuring him. That's a futile attempt, so I tighten my fingers around his hair, hoping he'll stay still.

I have no energy. None.

"Darling, up. Please."

"Har-- no, not yet."

"Yes, now. Please." He begins to squeeze my middle with his arms. "We've been asleep for hours, love. If
we don't wake up now, we won't be able to sleep tonight."

He's right, and I'm not going to admit that.

He feels me sitting up, and moves away. My eyes are squinting, and I can feel my lips pouting. Harry chuckles at my reaction, and leans forward. He kisses my cheek, and strokes his fingers against it. "So cute, baby. My pretty baby."

I sigh. "Hazard, is there a specific rea-- have you been crying?" I notice once my head clears up, and my eyes grow alert. Harry's eyes are a wisp of pink. Barely noticeable. They have a slight puff to them, and it hurts me bad. "Why have you been crying?" I ask softly.

Why would Harry cry? Oh no. Oh baby, baby, baby. No.

"M'fine," he sniffles. "Are you okay? I know me mum wasn't very welcoming. M'sorry baby." He runs his hands through his messy hair. "She was so mean, baby. I know," I can see his eyes begin to grow wet, and it's the worst thing I've ever seen. It's awful. It should be entirely illegal. "She meant well."

"Harr--"

"I'm not making excuses for her, baby. Or for what I did, because that's what started it all. I just-- I love you, and I feel so bad." That's when the tears start to welt in his eyes. That's when I have a strong urge to hug him, and brush his hair (cause it's a mess) maybe whisper nice words into his ear. "I shouldn't have let her believe you did anything wrong."

"Okay Har--"

"Today made me so sad, and you left, and I told mum the truth, and she cried, Presley. She cried, and said I--" Harry crumbles, and I'm both endeared and worried. Mostly endeared though. Harry's cute as fuck, when he's sad. He rambles, and he acts younger. "Gemma was so mad-- she hit me, and look,"
Harry holds out his arm, "It's purple, so she hit me hard."

"I'm sorry she hit you," it's actually quite funny.

"You're not sorry," Harry sighs shuffling closer. He cradles into himself, on top of me, and buries his face on my stomach. "I am sorry, though. I feel so bad."

"You should," I tangle my fingers in his hair, and sigh when Harry sniffles. It's like watching a puppy being kicked. "Harry don't cry."

Harry whines, "M'not crying."

"Of course you're not."

"I'm not," Harry insists stubbornly. "Baby," Harry lifts his head, and stares at up at me. "Are you mad at me?"

"No, Harry. M'not mad," I should be. I could be, but I'm not.

"Do you forgive me?"

"Not yet," because I haven't and I'm hoping I will soon. "I'm not mad, I'm hurt, I'm a bit confused and surprised. Give me a bit of time, okay?" I'm wondering if I should tell Harry about Louis' and Ben. If Louis and Ben would even want me too? "Meanwhile, why are you crying?"

"I'm-- I wasn't-- okay, I was crying." Harry admits bashfully. He sighs with his eyes down, and shoulders slumped. "Ever since you let me back into your life, I've hurt you in some way-- let me finish," Harry demands softly when he sees me about to disagree. "I came back, your dad called you names, Ben was furious, and my mum was completely out of line. You have to find a new doctor, and you've lost a friend."

It sounds so sad when it's being said out loud. Sounds almost depressing.

"You're just a mess," Harry's face drops and my stomach twits. Probably not the best time for jokes... I smile defeated and lean down to kiss his cheek. "You're my mess, baby, baby."

"You forgot one." He murmurs sadly. "You can't miss one, Presley. Makes me upset."

"I know baby, baby, baby."

****
"If I were to tell you a secret, would you keep it?"

"I'll do anything for you," Harry answers quickly. He sips on his mug, and smiles. "Do you want to tell me?"

"I don't know if I'm allowed too," oh God, I don't even think I was supposed to bring this up. Fuck, Ben's going to beat me up...again. "I want to tell you cause you're Harry, but I don't know if I can cause you are Harry."

Harry absorbs my ramble and nods. He reaches over and picks up my hand. "Are you in trouble-- will you somehow get hurt in anyway by this?"

I don't know.

This is tricky, and completely unexpected. This has to do with Ben-- who up until now, has only ever been mine. Now Louis' in the picture and he's kissing Ben, and blushing when Ben calls him cute, and he's holding his hand, and I never knew Louis' would ever like boys.

"I don't know, if I'm honest. It's making me nervous." I look down unable to keep Harry's gaze, when it only grows with concern. "I love you." I don't know what else to say other than the truth.
Harry beams happily, scoots over closer, and he's warm. He feels like comfort, and cinnamon. Like warm tea and cream. I like it. I like it a lot.

"I love you," Harry says, smile big and wide. Eyes lazy, and tired. "I love you too, darling." He kisses me quick, and pulls away to stare. He only watches me with the same smile, I hope is only for me. I can't help but crawl on his lap and hug him, trying to ease the way my nerves are making my heart tremble.

Harry is calm. Harry is smiling, and Harry is like coffee dusted with cinnamon. Harry can protect me from the monsters under my bed, and the whispers in my head.

"I think you're the best friend I've ever had," Harry says after a few seconds into our embrace. "It used to scare me-- you used to scare me."

"Why?" I can't even kill a spider. It might have a family, who depends on it.

"Because, I tell you things I can't tell myself. Because you're the first person I fell in love with, when I thought it'd never happened." Harry begins to rub my back in soothing shapes. "It happened and you've got this hold on me, and I think I'll always be yours to keep. Here and later."

My throat constricts, and I don't have a prayer. I don't have a comeback, that is better than what he just said. So I do what I can, and squeeze his shoulders tighter, and try my best not to grow emotional.
The knock on the door makes me jump, and as I begin to move, Harry whines rough, and holds me down by pressing into my back. "Stay here," he orders sturdy. The knocking continues, and Harry takes a chance. "Come in." I here footsteps coming closer, and quiet giggling. Harry tenses quickly before muttering a surprised, 'what?'

That's all I need to know it's Ben and Louis.

I guess I didn't have to wait long for the secret to come out.

"Why are you two-- was this the secret?" I push back slightly, Harry's hands coming to rest on my hips.

"It surprised me too," I smile, Ben looking between us curiously. I take in their tangled fingers and know the decision has been made.

"We're doing this," Louis says coy and shy. He looks over at Ben, and almost melts. Okay. "We talked-- fuck, we talked a fucking ton, and we want to do this."

"Ben?" I need to hear it from Ben. I somehow need to make sure Ben is still...Ben. My Ben.

"I want to do this, Presley. I don't know how it'll work, and I know it's going to be hard, but I really want this."

"Yeah?" Harry seems to be attuned to me so much, he squeezes the pads of his fingers into my skin, reminding me to breathe.

"Yeah, the fucker wormed his way into my fucking insides. Can't get rid of him."
"Wouldn't want you too," Louis' cute and Ben is looking at him the way he used to look at someone in his past. In our past.

"Lou, what about the media? The fans?"

"They won't know until Ben is ready and comfortable. Until we're ready."

"We want this private for a while," Ben murmurs. "I need this private, Harry."

"I agree," Harry nods. "We'll do whatever you want."

"Thank you," Ben sighs. "Don't tell the rest of the guys. Not yet, okay?"

"They won't care--"

"Harry, if Ben doesn't want them to know yet, please respect that. For me." Louis' also protective, and I'm surprised it's already showing.

"Okay, whatever you lads need."

I may need a fucking slap to the head. Or a therapist.

Notes

"Yo, if you want my hood side to come out, I will take out my hoops, and I will whoop your ass."
That's what me mum told me dad's mum.
I laughed and then laughed even harder when me mum began to remove her jewelry... We won't be having dinners with my grandma for a while. My grandad said he'll just come over by himself. Unless me mum whoops his ass too.