I sat there, utterly shocked on what just happened. Harry scared the shit out me now. I couldn't feel a thing. I felt like i was about to collaspe and i wanted to because i couldnt have the courage to face him or feel anything for him. I don't know why. My mind was racing, back and forth. I rested my back against the wall and sudden thoughts appeared again. I felt a knife stomping against my chest repeatedly. Tears abnormally esccaping from my eyes. I know my eyes were stingy, my hair is mess. My inner self was crushed. Well, what about me isn't a mess or crushed?

Harry stood there, looking at me regretfully. Tears were also screaming to burst from his eyes. He placed his hand on his face, lightly sobbing. i had an urge to go up to him and hug him but i realised what he just done to me. My arms were still pain. I bet its gonna leave marks. He removed his hands from his face looking around and back to me again. He opened his mouth but no words came out. Is he going to apologize? Yes i think, but his sorry's doesnt mean a thing. He does something, but keeps repeatedly doing the things again. He expects me to forgive him but how many fucking times has he put me down. He always find some excuse and puts it all on me.

I got up, heading towards the door, wanting Harry to stop me but he didn't even try to stop me this time. He was frozed at his spot and didnt move at all. I looked back, expecting him to look back but he didn't. I feel... I literally don't know what I feel anymore. I opened the door and the moment i was out of the room with Harry, i took some long breathes. The corridor was empty and silent, but i could hear laughs and screams echoeing while people were on breaks. My hair was left out and i quickly got my hairband from my wrist and made a bun. I fixed my fretty uniform. Their was tear stains on my white plaited shirt. I got my school jumper of out my bag and wore it. I slowly made my way to the girls toilet.

Harry's POV

"Please don't" she finally spoke out of fear. Her eyes were pouring with tears. I felt like a dick for pressuring her. Her lips were trembling and i couldn't take my eyes from hers. I wonder how many thoughts are flourishing in her mind. She probably hates me and thinks im heartless. I just want her to love me like she used to. I know i fucked up big time, i want to make it up to her, but somehow i always fuck things over. I want her touch. I crave for it.

I feel completely useless on regaining my feels towards her again. I don't even think about myself and what im going through, but it just seems to right to want her to love me again when she clearly doesn't. I don't know why i feel so angry when Niall's around her. It just urges me to take her away from him. Yes, im a terrible person for leaving her and choosing Isabelle. I don't even know why i chose her. I don't know what i want, but i surely want her now.

I didn't have feelings for Isabelle from the begining. She made me happy when i thought i could never be happy again. Yes, it sounds cheesy for a guy saying it but it's true. I began to develope feelings her slowly. She made feel those things that Alessa didn't. Yeah, i wasn't right for Alessa and she wasn't right for me. I knew how Alessa felt when Isabelle and I were around. She surely felt sick. I know because i saw the way she looked at us being together. Her mood always completely changed and her eyes were filled with envious venom.

Time passed, and Niall came. She started smiling and her face started glowing with hapiness. I hate him for making her happy because i remember how i used to but minutes later, we started arguing again. Honestly, i haven't seen a day where she's crying because Niall has done something to her. Her crying just makes my heart fall out my chest. She didn't suit it all. As much as i wanted her to love me, the much i wanted to make her happy but i couldn't. All we ever did was fight. I know she loved me but i had to end it with her, it was better for both of us.

Now, all i can feel is angre and hate she feels towards me. I remember the day when i ended it with her, tears were flooding from her eyes and kept coming. She almost begged me not to leave her but i couldn't bet her heart on it, because i was finally awake and she was a beautiful mistake. I wasn't myself for a few days when i ended it with her. I had to move on but somehow im still not. We're not compatible for each other and never would be.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. Alessa sat there, looking at me want to know what im going to do next. Seriously i felt like shit what i did to five minutes ago. She probably feels so scared being with me in this room.

She got up and i knew she was gonna get out here, she can't precense me anymore. She slowly made her way to the front door. I wanted to stop her but i couldn't, i know she'll even hate me more. I heard the door opened and her footsteps getting out of this room.

Alessa's POV

"I need to talk to you Alessa" Harry's voice reasurred over the phone.I began to wonder what he wants to talk to about since he called me without saying 'Hi, how are you princess' at first when he used to call me. But that's okay, he doesn't have to shower me with compliments and sweet words every time.

"Yeah, go on Harry" Words crumbled, releasing. I took a deep breathe and gave my best to hear what he's about to say.
"Meet me at the park near your house" he hunged up without saying another word. he blunty told me to meet him without any feelings i could feel every time he spoke to me. i was worrying now and I shakingily placed my phone in my pocket.

"What does he want to talk about that he suddenly wanted me to meet up with me? Is he alright? He's going away for awhile?" Questions were roaming around my head and i couldn't help it. "Is he going to end it with me?" The last question in my mind gave me the shivers. Nah, he wouldn't do that. He loves me. I thought to myself.

I headed to my front door, taking a last look to the mirror. I looked at the necklace he gave it to me the first time he confessed to me. I smiled remembering how nervous we were back days and look at us now, we can't even live without each other. I closed the door behind me and started to walk the park near my house.

What does he really want to talk about?

"Stop it Alessa! You're overthinking!"

-

Harry was sitting down on a bench, with his back facing me. His curls were a mess. I slowly walked towards him, silently to place my arms around his neck, suprising him. He looked back, knowing its me without i smile on his face. His emerald eyes weren't sparkling like it used to every time we spoke or saw eachother. We both didn't say a single word or greet eachother. i was somehow lost in my thoughts on what bothered Harry so much and why did he suddenly asked me to meet up.

"So," I broke off the silent moment and spoke up. His lips were swollen and his eyes were puffed up, like something hit him real hard. He stood up, holding my hands in his and took a deep breathe..

"I'm breaking up with you" His words murdered me emotionally and physically. No, no, i think i heard wrong.

"What?"

"I'm breaking up with you, Alessa.." I thought i was in a horrible dream but this was reality. I emotionally didn't believe his words. I felt like my heart popped out of my chest and someone shot it. No, this is all a joke.

"You're joking, right? I get what you trying to do" I let out a small laugh. He must be joking, and he's lying about this. He stood there with no emotion on his face, looking at me. No humor was filled in his eyes or lips and that's when i know, his words are true and it drained my heart down a sink.I began to break down. I couldn't say anything, right now, my tears were words that were too painful to speak.

"I'm sorr-"

"What do you mean you're sorry?! We're still together" His words were strong for me to handle. Maybe this is all a joke. I hugged him, placing my head to his chest. His heart which was slowly beating. He pushed me away from him and let out a deep breathe.

"look Alessa, I'm sorry but i think its the best to end this thing" Tears kept coming and i realised they weren't gonna stop.


"Why?"

"You know why.." I knew what exactly what he was talking about. All those irrelevant arguments and us couldn't agree anything made us like this.

"But what about how i feel? Do you know what it'll make me? No Harry, you can't do this to me.. You can't leave me, for fucks sake, i can't live without you. I need you.."

"Im sorry Alessa" his words killed me. Destroyed me in matter of second. I wanted to scream, just do anything to get him in my arms. He slowly turned around, going back. He knew all my secrets, all my scars and than he left.

I could fill a thousand pages telling him how i felt and still he wouldn't understand. So now he's leaving without a sound, except my heart shattering as it hits the ground.

-

The flashback still seems new after many, many months. I didnt realise i had tears escaping from my eyes. I was looking at the mirror, girls toilet, seeing the reflection of myself on what state i was in. My mascara were eloped from eyelashes and had smudged around my eyes. My cheeks were red from the all the tears that were caused today. I opened the water tap and splashed water over my face.

I heard some giggles coming outside of the girls toilet and i knew it was her, Isabelle and her magnet dolls. She was surprised seeing me, looking at me from the top to the bottom, with an expression of disgust on her face. She walked towards me and i knew this isn't going to end well.

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here" she was heaps taller than me, and her faced caked. Her eyes are big, with perfect lips and lashes. Her body is flat like a barbie's. i had no chance competing against her. She was some kind of a model. No wonder why Harry chose her over me, but it's okay. I wouldn't choose myself either.

Notes

Wooooooot! Long chapter hahah. So now, you get the hang of story?

were you in love or still in love? Comment, dont ignore me hahah.

If you read this chapter, vote pleeeeaaaaaseeee ! :))))
- Zaheda