You Have Me
Ch.56
When your legs don't work like they used to before. And I can't sweep you off of your feet. Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love? Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?
B.P.O.V
You see, getting married. Committing yourself to one person. It feels like a form of reality, you don't
remember existing. It doesn't feel natural. Maybe it doesn't feel real.
And to me.
It feels like you're selling your soul in the best of ways, to the best person you know.
"Beth s'time to wake up," Louis says, voice slow and sleep deprived. I shouldn't feel so tired, I know I shouldn't be so somber. "Beth, Lou's here and she needs to get started on your hair. Come on, don't make me get Anne."
Louis' threat was a low blow. Because everyone knew that when it came down to the wedding, Anne was the militia.
"Louis," My voice was nothing short of a whimper. And Louis must have realized this as he stilled his arm and he let his hand rest on my stomach. "Louis, I think I'm about to have a heart attack."
"Does your stomach hurt? Your head? What's wrong?" Louis' voice is calm, but I know Louis. I know the way his voice is when he's feeling panicked. "Sweetheart, can you tell me what's wrong?"
"Louis," I whimper, sitting up, chucking the blanket off of my body. "Louis I have never felt this nervous before. This has to be a sign Lou! It's not normal to have three meltdowns before your wedding!"
"Beth, it's normal to be nervous," Louis says, feeling relieved. I'm sure he's glad he won't have to make an unfortunate call letting Harry know I'm on the run. "I'd be worried if you weren't," when Louis sees that I don't relax, that for some bizarre reason I can't, he sighs and sits on his legs, holding his arms open. "Come here. Let me cuddle some sense into you."
I crawl over and plop down on his lap. I'm glad I went with my choice of only having Louis with me as I get ready. It took some convincing for Anne to agree, (because Anne is Anne and she likes to be involved) but in the end I'm glad no one else put up a fight when I had suggested Louis be the only one to help me. All of them agreeing it would be best, since Louis is the only one who can talk me off the ledge. Of course, Anne and everyone else (except Harry, because Louis is still positive that the best thing to do is keep me and Harry apart until the wedding, because Louis doesn't feel it's safe enough to break that tradition) would be welcomed to come see me an hour before I'm due to walk down the aisle. Enough time for Anne to change anything she doesn't like, and for me to fix my face when the inevitable happens and I cry like a newborn.
"You know, before the accident we did talk about what your wedding would be like," startled I moved back, examining his face. "I know. Sounds mad," Louis nods, "you said you wanted flowers and fairy lights. You wanted Ed to sing, and you wanted cake."
"Sounds nice." A bit extravagant, but nice all the same.
"It was. And then you changed your mind."
"What?" Sometimes I forget how indecisive I am.
"Yeah. You changed your mind. Literally. You slapped me upside the head and told me--'forget it, I want something else'-- you said that instead of the big wedding, all you really wanted was Harry to be okay. That you wanted to be okay again and you also said cake was a must." Louis muttered, with a slight bop of his head.
"Cake is always a must Lou." I croaked.
"So did it happen?" Louis says, ignoring my facts about life.
"Did what happen?" A lot has happened. I'm just not sure what he's referring to this time.
Louis tilts his head, and purses his lips. "Are you and Harry okay? Do you feel okay?"
And this is the first time, I'm actually considering this. "Oh," I guess I hadn't really payed much attention to that aspect. Because in all sense of reality, in all the honesty I could muster, I guess I was okay. I was content and relaxed. I wasn't quite so sad anymore. I didn't feel like a giant bruise, that still ached. I felt like me.
I felt like me, even with no memory.
It was nice.
"Oh my God, Lou. I," Louis eyebrows raised, and a small smile was shown. "I'm okay," I couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe I was finally feeling better. "I'm fucking okay!"
"You are," Louis affirmed. "You're okay, and you're getting married today."
"Yeah," a nicer way of saying, I'm selling my soul in the best of ways. To the best person I know. "Yeah I'm getting married and you're upset."
"I'm not upset. I'm tired. Someone snuck off yesterday." Louis accuses, giving me a knowing look.
"You are so upset and you know it." It feels like a game with Louis. Like, I have to pick a vowel or press the right button. "You could just man up and admit it."
"Fuck off," Louis expressed with no heat. "Even on your wedding day you're a twit."
"Well," I frowned. "Aren't you sensitive for someone who's not upset."
"I'm not upset, I'm just trying to picture you as a married women." It's the way Louis' eyes have dimmed and the way his hold on my fingers has tightened slightly, that I know it's beyond him being upset. "S'hard when I'm used to you being 'my best friend Beth', and not 'Harry's wife Beth'. It's almost like you're going to be a completely different Beth."
"I'm going to be Beth, Lou. I'm going to be the same, annoying, loud, sarcastic Beth. Nothing is going to change when it comes to you." Sometimes it's a bit surprising how quickly the mood changes, and how easily my feeling stir.
"Beth, things change all the time. Anything can happen." Louis says, voice doubtful.
"Louis," and if I'm going to say this, I'm going to say this clear and organized, as I look him in the eyes.
"Louis when it comes to you, I'm always going to be that girl you made a friendship bracelet for. The same one you bought Starbucks with and then drank half of it because you liked it better and you wouldn't admit it. I'm going to be the same Beth who came crying to you every time something got bad. You and me aren't going to change. Not in a million-- trillion years. Not even then."
"Not even then," Louis chokes. And sometimes Louis and I have these moments, that are nice and they make me glad I don't remember how it felt not having a best friend. Or how it used to be when I was embarrassingly lonely. "Yeah. Okay, good."
"You're wearing a bow tie right?" Louis squeezes my fingers, probably thankful I had switched subjects.
"Yeah. Ties make me feel old and stuffy."
"I have something for you," I remove myself from his lap, and glide off the bed. I move towards the drawers beside me, smiling down at the black bow tucked away safely. I pick it up, Louis laughing when he sees it.
"Oh God, Anne caved? Knew she would. Should have bet money."
"Actually, Harry got it for me," I stated, sitting back on the bed, facing Louis who looked at my tie in wonder. "It's for you." I tell him, placing it in his hands. Louis looks down surprised, looking down at his hands, like he doesn't believe I actually placed my tie there.
"For me?" Louis whispers. He looks up, with wet eyes, and honestly if Louis cries, I'm going to cry and never stop. "But you love this hideous thing. It was your granddads' and you love him."
"Kind of love you too, Lou."
"I can't take this Beth. It's the only thing you have left of your old life." It's a bit sad. I know. But it's also the truth.
"But you're part of my new life," and as much as I wish he had been part of my old life, I wouldn't trade him now for anything in this world. "Louis, may granddad was the only person who loved me. Now I have so many, that I actually get annoyed. I love you and if I can give you something to remind you of such, then, please let me."
"Oh Beth only you could make something so hideous and depressing, beautiful."
"Your mom is pretty good at that to. I mean, she created you."
"You're also good at killing the moment."
I shrug, and lean over to kiss his cheek. "We've got to start getting dressed. We're too ugly to be natural."
"Speak for yourself," Louis specified. "I'm beautiful. Face of a god. You are...well, you have nice hair."
"Oh my God," I rolled my eyes. "You're the sweetest Lou. You're giving me a cavity."
"Come," he says, standing. He captures my hand and leads us out of the bedroom. "Lou, please help us with this mess." Lou is blonde and I mean questioning the line between white and blonde. She rolls her eyes at Louis mumbling something about him always being annoying and a pain in her ass. She takes my hand and leads me to a chair, sitting me down with gentle hands.
"Hair up, love?" I nod, closing my eyes as Lou beings massaging my scalp. "You're going to look like a vision. Almost, too good for reality." Lou's a nice women. Easily excited and warm. I like Lou. "Louis bring out my make up. Got to make you human looking also."
Louis huffs and marches toward the supplies littering all over my room.
My room is a mess. A big wedding mess, that is going to make me sad when it's all cleaned up.
"Relax, love. Soon I'll have you looking like a fairytale."
****
And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70. And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways. Maybe just the touch of a hand. Well, me—I fall in love with you every single day. And I just wanna tell you I am.
H.P.O.V
"Harry, get up. I've got coffee and in unlimited amount of sweets. And I mean unlimited." My room is dark. It feels empty and cold. My bed feels four sizes too big and my head is running faster than a car. "Harry, your mum is here and she demands you wake up, unless you want her to come in here with a bucket and various objects to throw at you."
"M'up, m'up," my voice is hoarse, and my eyes feel heavy. "Can't a man sleep."
"Not when he's getting married," Liam whips back. "We're running behind, and I'll bet you, Louis has had Beth up for hours now. You're lucky I'm much more compassionate."
"Oh God, I hope he's been gentle with her. My baby's the princess today."
"Oh Haz, you're hurting my teeth, stop it." Liam grins boyishly, and if I had more energy I would have thrown my pillow at him by now. "Shall I bring you a cuppa here, or will you be coming down stairs like a decent human being.
"Why, Liam Payne, aren't you being awfully nice to me."
"You're my princess today," Liam howled. "So you coming? Or shall I get my baby a nice war-"
"I'm coming you idiot." I grumble. "You're in idiot and I wish you weren't my friend."
"Harry Styles, you're breaking my heart." Liam taunted, holding the door open for me. "Your mum made these cookies with cinnamon and sugar. Oh my, Harry. They're like heaven." As we walk down the stairs, we can hear the happy chatter, and conversations happening, thanks to everyone being here, since Beth insisted on only having Louis with her.
And while I understand her reasons (though, I wish I was allowed to be with her), half of me had hoped she would have kept half of the people with her. Not to say I don't love them, because I do, but sometimes they're overwhelming and they don't help with my nerves.
"There he is," Niall's loud voice booms. The chatter quiets down, Mum coming towards me, kissing my cheek, and then walking away with a pat on Liam's shoulder. "Ready to get hitched? I hope so, because your wedding cake looks so good."
"Niall, don't even think about it," Beth had fought long and hard for that five tear, red velvet, cream cheese frosting, cake. "Beth will cry if she sees you took a bite, and I'll kick you in the balls if she cries."
"Warning received," Niall groans, hands raised n surrender. "I'll just have some of your mum's cookies. They're better than any cake."
"Keep telling yourself that."
"Gosh, Haz. Your wedding day has done nothing but make you a prik. Boo." Niall reaches across the table and picks up a cookie, biting into it, with closed eyes. He moans his appreciation and opens his eyes. "So fucking good."
"Why thank you dear," Mum walks in with emotion filled eyes. "I can't believe you're getting married today." She gushes.
Gemma walks in and scoffs. "Can't believe you're getting married before me. I'm the better Styles." She ruffles my hair and kisses my cheek.
"Bitter is not a good color on you, Gem. Try peach."
"You cheeky shit," Gemma complained, sitting herself next to Niall. "Poor Beth. Has to deal with him."
"S'what I said." Niall mumbles around a full mouth. Gemma nods, as Mum shushes them and shakes her head.
"Don't tease my boy. It's his big day."
"No, it's his baby's day. Right Haz?" And sometimes I forget Liam has the ability to torture me.
"Shut up Liam."
"Only cause you're my princess today." Liam winks, and honestly I don't really know how so many women
find that irresistible. "Here's your cuppa and I took liberty in saving you these. There's an even number, because odd numbers are bad luck, and we don't need that today." I also forget Liam can ramble.
"If this whole thing with Beth doesn't work out, give me a call." Although, it's a possibility that terrifies me on new levels. "Oh, fuck. No. Forget I said that. It's going to work out. It is."
"Of course it is baby," Mum helps. She moves to stand in front of me as she brushes my hair from my forehead. "Mumma knows these things. Knows when her baby is going to be okay. S'the only reason I didn't make you go back to uni. Mumma knows." She kisses my forehead and sighs. "Have your cookies and relax, love. We're going to press your suit and wait for Lou. We also have to wait for Zayn to wake up. Li, I may need the bucket."
"Don't worry Harry. If Beth doesn't marry you, I will. Your mum makes killer cookies."
"You are no help, Niall." And maybe this is why Niall became a singer instead of a motivational speaker. "M'going to go eat my cookies. Li, come. Niall's being weird."
"Coming princess," Liam walks next to me, as we leave Niall and his jokes behind. A steaming mug is in his hands, as his bare feet walk on the floor. "Are you nervous? I'd be if it were me."
"I'm not about us. I know Beth is it. I feel it every time she touches me. Or the way I fall in love with her everyday," weddings tend to make me a mess. An emotional, teary eyed mess. "I'm nervous Beth won't like any of it."
"What do you mean? Beth will love it." Liam's adamant tone, boost my confidence. The way he seems to be nervous, doesn't.
"I don't know, Li. Beth doesn't remember my family. I don't want to overwhelm her. I just wish I had pushed Beth to voice her opinion more. Made it more about her, you know?" Liam nods, a considering look on his features.
"I don't think Beth cares about the material stuff, as long as you're both happy. I think Beth will want to make today about you and her. Not the way the flowers are arranged, or what kind of whine is served. Don't be nervous Haz. Beth is going to love it. She already loves you."
"I love her too." In ridiculous ways. "Thanks for everything, Li. For 'accidentally' telling me Beth was in your room that night she was leaving. Glad I was able to put Lilly in her place. So, thank you. Without you, I don't think we'd be here." I should be thanking everyone here. And I will, in time. But right now Liam's with me. His eyes tired, and gleaming happily. He looks tired and warm. It just makes sense to thank him first.
"It was mostly Louis," Liam reminds me. "But you're welcome. I'd do anything for you and Beth."
"Right back at you," Liam leans over and squeezes me hand, with a dopey smile.
"Finish your breakfast. You need to shower, and dry your hair before Lou gets here. You know how she hates wet hair."
"You don't think she'll drop any hints on what Beth looks like, do you?" Every time I go to picture Beth, I get the sudden urge to cry, because I still can't believe it. Can't wrap my mind around how lucky I've been. On how much I love Beth. It seems too fantastic, for my reality.
"Nope. Lou believes in the whole, bad karma, superstition thing. You're just going to have to wait." And I think that's okay, when I know I'd wait for Beth. I'd wait forever if I had to.
"You are all terrible."
"Shut your trap and get in the shower. I've got to help your mum wake Zayn. Hopefully we won't need the bucket."
I may need the bucket.
****
And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70. And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways. Maybe just the touch of a hand. Well, me—I fall in love with you every single day. And I just wanna tell you I am.
B.P.O.V
"Lou, I want to see! Lou!" Louis muttered like an impatient four year old. Banging on the door. And I think sending Louis out to grab coffee was a better idea when we were left alone. Now it's just loud and childish.
"I'm almost done!" Lou called out. "Okay, love, one last good lucky spray. A bit of blush and you're set." Lou sets the curler down, sprays the hair spray where she desires, and brushes the pink powder on my cheekbones. "Okay, I'm going to let your daddy for the day in. Don't mess up my master piece." Lou warns with a shake of her finger.
I laugh while standing. I'm naturally a very lazy person. I'll admit that much. But when you're sitting still for an hour, your ass is bound to complain.
"Okay, I know you wanted coffee, but tea is be-- oh Beth, you-- Lou you are very good at your job." Louis bawled with a shaky voice.
"She's a dream." Lou says outloud, a dreamy look in her eyes. "Thanks for my drink, babe. I'll see you both soon. Have to get the boys ready." Lou winks and blows us a kiss as she packs her supplies and walks out.
And she's incredibly lucky. Because she gets to see Harry while I have to wait three hours.
"Louis your hair looks so soft, I just want to lay in it." His hair is styled so nicely and Lou made it look unbelievably soft. "Now all that's left, is perfume and I have to put on the dress."
"Okay so what's first? Dress or...?"
"I don't know, Louis. I've never done this before. Don't we have to like, bless the dress?"
"No, you tramp. I think we just dress you," Louis probed with sarcasm lacing his voice. "I'll close my eyes and you put the dress on. I'll do the important part and zip you up."
"Or you could go change while I find a way to put all that dress on. You can zip me up, and I'll tie your bow tie."
"Okay, let's do that," Louis nods and scrambles out. "Yell if you fall over!" Louis hollers from outside my room. I can hear Louis moving around, quietly grumbling to himself.
Meanwhile, I'm slowly buzzing with nerves, and my heart begins to pound as I spot the dress hanging over the window. It's just a dress. A strapless ball gown with crystals and other tiny embellishments. It's a dream, that holds so much promise and beauty in its material. It was pretty enough, that I didn't need a veil. Instead flowers and small crystal pins were placed in my hair, giving it a magical feel.
So maybe it wasn't just a dress.
There's a knock on the door, followed by Louis greeting and closing the door. "Beth, the photographer is here." And right. I forgot Anne demanded we have one, because it's important to have pictures. And apparently a video.
I mange to undress myself with shaky hands. I only scratch myself once while sliding the garter on. The dress is heavier in my hands than I remember and it seems a bit small. So while I suck it in, and I step into the dress, my knees are wobbling, and my head is spinning. I hold the dress up with my hands. I almost grip it, because this dress did not allow a bra. Anne did not allow one either. So if the dress decides to be cruel and slide down, Louis will being seeing more than he should. Him and the
photographer.
"Beth? Are you decent?" Louis says, softly knocking on the door.
"Yeah. Come in." I breathe out.
Louis comes in with his eyes closed, almost tumbling forward.
"Why are your eyes closed?"
"Don't want to see you until the dress is on."
"Okay," Louis has always been a strange one. No use for him to stop now. "Forward-- turn. Okay keep going...and reach for my hand...there you go." Louis pats around my back, eyes so shut. He feels the zipper and hums. "Hurry. My hands are going numb."
I can finally breath when the dress is on and zipped closed. I drop my hands, enjoying the feeling of the blood circulating once again. "M'going to need help putting on my shoes."
"Daddy's go--Holly fuck, Beth! Look at you! Oh, I think I'm going t-- look at you." Louis looking up and down. His eyes are wide and his smile is big and painful looking. After a few seconds, he cups his hands over is mouth and bounces on his feet. "You cleaned up well."
"I'm going to take that, as a 'you look kind of nice'," my voice is shaky and it really has to do with the fact, that I thought Louis would think I look ridiculous.
"You look beautiful. You're gorgeous Beth." Louis uttered, with dreamy eyes. "Fuck, this is really happening. You're really getting married."
"I am," and I think Louis going to crack. "Lo-"
"No, fuck! No you're not-- you're so young, Beth. What's--what's the rush? Beth, tell me, is Harry pushing you into this? Fu-"
"Louis, I need you to breathe," and thankfully he does. He breathes in, holding it in for a few seconds before exhaling. "Louis, it's okay. Everything is okay."
"Beth, what's the rush? You're only twenty and there is so much we have to do, as stupid kids. You can-- oh God, I'm being selfish."
"Lou, I'd love Harry if I were fifteen. Fuck, I'd still love him at seventy. I'm getting married, Louis. He's not pushing me, he's not forcing me. There is no rush. Everything is okay. You and me are still going to be idiots together. We're still going to annoy everyone. Nothing is going to change."
"Okay," Louis huffs, with disbelief. "Okay, you're supposed to be the one freaking out, not me. Okay. Go ahead and flip. I can handle it." No he can't. Not with his crazy eyes.
"Hello? Can I come in?" Theres a knock on the door before a middle aged man walks in with his camera and four people behind him. He beams at us and snaps his camera, a flash blinding me for a second.
"Ah, there's the gorgeous bride. Quick, Louis, hold her hands and stare into the depths of her soul." I chuckle as Louis does what he's told, and while normal people would be great at this, Louis and I can't. Because Louis will cross his eyes, or we'll stare for too long, and the giggles just escape. "I was never told you two were gigglers," he sighs. "Are we ready to head to the ceremony space?"
"Almost, my kid needs her shoes on." And Louis may be taking this 'dad for the day' thing a bit too literal.
"Great! Another photo op! Bret, get ready." The young man kneels as I shoot him a puzzled look. Louis shakes his head, and asks for my shoes. I point behind him, as he nods and walks over, picking up a box, containing silver, princess heels. Louis kneels, and I place my hand on his shoulder to steady myself as he places one shoe on my foot and then the other, the bright flashes too obnoxious to ignore.
I have grown a few inches and Louis holds my hands until I'm steady. "You're gorgeous, Beth. I do mean that."
I lean over and kiss his cheek in a silent thank you. "Let's tie your bow." Louis nods, and pulls out my granddad's tie. I pick it up with a smile, ignoring the imposing flash. The black satin goes under his collar, and after a few magic touches it slowly turns into a respectable bow. I fix his bow and straighten it and just like me, Louis' ready, and he looks absolutely wonderful.
What's not very wonderful, are the flashes that keep going off. They're bright and annoying.
"We've got to go out back. It's a zoo up front." Everyone nods and turns left. Louis walks at my slow pace, because this dress really does slow me down. "You really are a walking fairy tail, aren't you?"
I shrug, "I'm just dressed differently."
****
So honey now, Take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Place your head on my beating heart. I'm thinking out loud. That maybe we found love right where we are.
H.P.O.V
"Oh, baby. You look so handsome." Mum has been crying since Lou had arrived. Both gushing about every small detail. My suit. The shoes. The flowers pinned to said suit. Our hair. Gemma and Eleanor's hair, their dresses, and surprisingly, their lack of control over their emotions. They then scrambled into the kitchen and began whispering to each other, and I am assuming they're discussing my future wife.
"Mum, you need to get dressed. Lou won't like it, if you keep crying your makeup off."
"He's right. I plan to make all the women goddesses and I can't do that, if you have black streaks running down your cheeks."
"I can't help it, my baby's getting married!"
"I know Mum," I pat her back gently, wondering how Mum was capable of producing so many tears.
"Okay babe, you're the last masterpiece I need to complete. Everyone else is finished and causing mischief," Lou faces Mum and holds out her hand, which I assumed may be pulsing with having to squeeze a curling thingy for so long. "Let me turn you into art." Mum giggles, and drops her hand on top of hers, with a roll of her eyes. Lou smiles, and then tilts her head to face me. She gives me her best serious expression, narrowing her eyes playfully at me. "Don't mess with your hair, Styles. I'll kill you and marry Beth myself."
She chuckles at my frown and blows a kiss, walking out, Mum following behind her.
I only get a few minuets alone, before a quiet knock is heard and Zayn, Niall, and Liam walk in. "Hey babe, you want company?"
"I want to see Beth," Liam rolls his eyes, "I know I can't, I guess you three will do." I grin.
"Liam was right. You are the sweetest," Niall says, dusting his blazer. "Now, tell us how good we look."
"I'd tap you, if you weren't an annoying fake blonde."
Niall gapes at me, as Zayn laughs along with Liam. "Weddings make you funny," I don't actually believe Zayn when he says that. Only because tired Zayn will laugh at anything. "That was funny, huh Li?"
"Yeah Zayn it was a hoot," and I don't think Liam means that at all.
"Who has the rings? Or-- fuck is that my job?!"
"Haz, breathe. We've got the ring," Zayn rasps, both hands flat on my shoulders. "Everything is as it should be. We're heading out in five, okay? You good?"
I really do think I'm fine. I think, I'm just nervous and if that's the case, Beth might be the only thing that can calm me down, and that's not a very good thing, when Beth and I aren't allowed to see each other for another two hours.
"Okay, has anyone heard from Louis? Is Beth okay? She's fine, yeah?"
"I'll ring right now, if you'll keep breathing. Deal?"
"Deal." I nod.
Zayn pulls out his phone and presses the screen a few times. "Okay, speaker it is." He says when he sees my face.
It rings out loud for a few seconds, until Louis answers. "Yes Zayn? M'kind of busy balancing a tray of scorching liquid."
"Nice to talk to you to. I've got you on speaker. We need you to calm Harry down. He's about to combust."
I won't actually combust, or whatever. I'm just nervous.
"Him to?" Louis exasperates. "Fuck, Beth almost had a breakdown this morning. She's so nervous."
"What?! Oh God she doesn't want t-"
"Harry!" Louis screams over the phone, and it has me wondering how much he's had to yell at Beth. "Harry, she's fine. It's just wedding jitters. Like, the ones you're feeling right now."
"Louis, please don't lie to me." I beg.
"M'not! She's fine. Getting her hair and makeup done as we speak. She's getting all pretty for you."
"Shut up, she's always pretty."
"You fucking bet she is. She's just extra pretty today."
"She's okay? Like, she doesn't want to escape?" My imagination is working against me right now, as I imagine Beth on a train, or a plane, heading somewhere I'll never see her again.
"No, Haz she's perfect, and she'll see you in two hours okay? Try not to have a heart attack until then."
"Okay." I say in my best voice.
"Okay, Lou, we'll see you in a bit. Make sure you also get pretty for us. Love you! Bye!" Zayn hangs up, before Louis can shout and call us names. "Feel better?"
"Yeah. Let's get going."
"Okay, fair warning, it is absolutely mad out front." Niall warns.
"Okay. Are the girls ready?"
"Yeah. Lou managed to finish your mum in record time. The cake has been delivered, the ceremony space has been decorated, and your party space is all done up. We're set."
"The press?"
"Is staying away, thanks to Paul and his contacts. All you've got to worry about is remembering your vows. Everything else, leave to us." Liam is my favorite. Especially when he uses his super powers to calm me down. "Okay, let's get our boy hitched!"
Zayn and Niall cheer as we walk out, Liam following behind us.
Two hours. I can make it. It's just two hours.
Essentially that's one hundred and twenty minuets.
Fuck.
****
When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades. And the crowds don't remember my name. When my hands don't play the strings the same way. I know you will still love me the same.
B.P.O.V
"This is a nice room," I utter looking around. Flowers on top of each flat surface. Pastel colors, like, peach, pink, and green surrounding us. "So wedding, like."
"Well you are getting married, babe."
And yes. I know. I get reminded, every time a bright flash blinds me.
"So where are your brides maids? Your parents? Family?" James (the photographer, who finally informed us of his name, so we don't keep calling him photo-man) asks, looking around.
"No bridesmaids, or parents. No family either. Just Louis." I point to Louis, as he waves with a cheesy smile.
"Really? No one but him?" James asks stunned.
"Yeah. I'm a loser." I shrug, pushing my embarrassment back, trying not to notice the way James is looking sadly at me.
"Oh dear, don't you worry. One person is better, than a room full of fakes." And for the first time today James is absolutely right.
Completely right.
"S'true babe. Anyways, I'm too handsome to share the spotlight with anyone, but the bride."
"Not even then," I replied, laughing at the way Louis rolled his eyes. "So, are we done with pictures?"
"Afraid not. Anne, requested a special one where you and your groom are on opposite walls, holding hands, without seeing each other. It's lovely, if captured correctly, and both sides don't peek."
Just the thought of seeing Harry is worth anything. Even ridiculous, cliché pictures.
"That won't be easy." It sounds complicated, and I'm a very uncoordinated person.
"It won't. But it'll be worth it." That I don't doubt.
Soft knocks are heard, and Louis is at the door in a flash. He opens it, barely moving out of the way fast enough for Anne to come in and begin crying.
"Oh Beth, you're so beautiful," Lou, Eleanor (who stops to give Louis a kiss) and Sophia are quick behind her. Lou handing Anne a tissue. "Look at you darling. All grown up, and glowing."
"I may throw up, but okay. I'm okay. How's Harry? Is he okay?"
"He's as nervous as you are dear," Anne's smile is soothing, and her hug is warm. "A bit afraid he won't see you walk down the aisle." What?
"I'd never do that to him."
"He knows, love. It's just jitters."
"Okay, everyone gather round our princess," James pushes everyone close and aims his camera lens at us. "On three, smile. One...two...three!" The flash is still annoying and I feel like I blinked. "Where are the boys?" Ann walks over and whispers in his ear, and I'm a bit offended. Like I'd ever sneak out and see Harry...
Well I would. If knew where he was.
James nods and turns to leave, mumbling over his shoulder to meet him in ten minuets by the garden.
"You're so pretty Beth." Eleanor gushes, her fingers grazing the crystals on the torso of my dress. "You look like a dream in white."
"I love your hair! The way the flowers and sparkles are placed." Sophia stands on her tiptoes examining all the details and swirls that are incrusted in my hair.
"Thank you." I mumble.
"Okay, quick touch ups and we're off," Lou says, opening her small tool case.
"We've got ten minuets."
"Yes but we may need twenty, just to get you where you need to be. You're wearing a lot of dress, love."
That, is also completely right.
****
'Cause honey your soul could never grow old, it's evergreen. And, baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory. I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways. Maybe it's all part of a plan. Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes. Hoping that you'll understand.
H.P.O.V
It felt like hours. Absolutely torture, taking pictures with blinding flanges of white light. It was cruel, when you had Niall and everyone else laughing, as Gemma yelled at us for behaving like children, when it was just three people.
I was too nervous to mess around.
I'm still nervous. Maybe even more, after finding out, I'll be so close to Beth, and not being able to see her. The serenity in the garden is doing nothing to relax me, whatsoever. The fountain is merely a well that spits water. The flowers are just there, and well, it's nature. Thanks to my nerves, it's just nature.
The way my heart was beating had me worried. Surely it wouldn't be ideal to have to leave my own wedding, because I had the heart of an eighty year old. It began to beat harder when I realized, that at any moment Beth could change her mind. She could realize how much better she could do. That I don't deserve her. Oh god, Beth could leave and I'll never se-
"Is she here?" I ask panicked reaching my hand around the prickled wall. I'd rather not think about that.
Because I'd rather avoid having a melt down.
I half way jump when a soft hand grazed over mine, fingers curling and entwining with mine.
"I'm here baby. I'm here." Beth breathes out shaky.
And okay. Okay. It's good that I'm not the only nervous one. Okay.
"Fuck Beth," I breathe, "baby, I'm shaking." Beth's laugh was soft and her hand felt wonderful in mine.
Even if I couldn't see the rest of her, because 'Harry you two are already unlucky. Can't jinx it further.' Everyone's words repeating in my head.
"M'nervous too," I can hear Beth's frown and I can feel the way her hand is trembling in mine. "Did we really have to take this kind of picture? Makes it hard to keep the whole 'groom not seeing the bride before the wedding' thing going."
"Mum said she wouldn't forgive us if we didn't take it," I may not forgive Mum for being teased with being so close to Beth. "I really wish I could see you. Fuck, baby, this is torture. How are you?"
"I'm nervous sweetheart. And I think I'm loosing my vision. Damn flashes are lethal."
"Not being able to see you is lethal," my thumb strokes the top of her hand, enjoying how the soft skin feels. "You look beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous."
"You haven't seen me," Beth says with a giggle.
"Don't have to," although I wish I could. "I miss you."
"I really want to hug you."
"Should have eloped," I sigh. I didn't realize how hard it would be to stay away, until it actually happened.
"Alright, Harry, look towards the edge, but don't tilt your head. That's against the rules." James instructs. Beth laughs, squeezing my hands. "Beth, stop that. You naughty girl."
"This is cruel," Beth groans. "It's our wedding. Shouldn't we be able to do what we want?" And for once someone is making sense.
"Not when Mumma's here." Mum tuts, and well, okay. "Now look love stricken. Make Nicholas Sparks want to write a story based on this picture."
That's a a lot of pressure. "How much longer?"
"Two more shots, and we'll be finished. Stop fussing and look like you're in love."
"I am," I whine. I'd be more willing to show it, if they had let me see Beth. "I just want to see Beth."
"Yeah." Beth sighs.
"Okay. Okay, you two really are stubborn. Your mum was right." James moves toward the center, ignoring Louis remarks and mums tearful mumbles. "Alright, Harry look towards the edge. Head tilted to the right. Small smile. Beth do the same, but close your eyes. Head to the left."
This photo feels strange. It doesn't feel romantic at all. But the ladies around us awe, and Louis has a dopey smile, so that means it has to look romantic. I think.
Four, infuriating flashes later.
"Alright get out of here. Go touch up your faces. Ceremony starts in five, yeah?"
Mum nods and thanks James as he walks away with his four assistants trailing behind him.
When Beth goes to pull away, I tighten my hold and refuse to let go. "No, don't leave me."
"Baby, I'll see you in five minuets. I've got to go. Have to get married soon."
"I want to kiss you," I'm essentially acting like a brat, but I totally give myself leeway. "Let me kiss you."
"Harry, don't make me slap you," and I like Louis. I do. He's just not the one I want to see. "We've got to go. Beth needs a touch up and I need an aspirin with your screeching."
"I hate you," I grumble. "Bye baby. I'll see you down there?"
"I'll see you soon. I promise." Beth says adamant, her shoes clinking, the sounding fading as she gets further and further away.
"Are you ready love?"
"Yeah. I've been waiting for this day, for a long time now Mum."
"I know you have baby." Mum whispers, pressing a kiss to my head.
"We're so happy for you, bub. For you and Beth." Gemma is just like Mum. Emotional, and always kind. "Care to walk us down the aisle?"
"Love to."
****
But, baby, now. Take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Place your head on my beating heart. Thinking out loud. That maybe we found love right where we are. So, baby, now. Take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Oh, darling, place your head on my beating heart. I'm thinking out loud. That maybe we found love right where we are.
B.P.O.V
In all reality it's a small wedding... if you're future husband is a pop star, with only his close family and friends. So when I say it's small, to me, ordinary, no family, six friend, me, it's quite the opposite. And Harry did try to spare me. He knows I don't like many people, and luckily Harry wanted it as intimate as possible, because deep down (and I'm hoping it's the same for Harry) I know I won't ever get married again. Won't even try to find anyone worth a longterm relationship.
The choir (which Anne insisted was necessary because they add a certain vibe, that no stereo or cd could produce) arrived later than anticipated. But it gave Louis and I a bit of time to get our thoughts together, and to touch up all the noticeable flaws our embarrassing tears had created.
"Ready?" Louis asks, looking down at me.
I nod, trying not to burst into a sea of tears at the way Louis' eyes have noticeably watered. "Yeah," the choir starts their impending singing, and I can hear chairs screeching and people standing. "Okay, Lou, please whatever you do, don't let me fall." Louis' the first to cry. Louis always cries, and while I find it cute, it doesn't help me slow my erratic heartbeat.
"I'll always pick you back up love. You can always count on that."
My eyes fill up, and I blink quickly, squeezing Louis bicep. "I-- yeah Lou, always."
"Do I have to give you away?" He croaks, sniffs, and looks down. I nod, reaching upward to wipe under his lashes.
"Beside right now, in the literal sense, you never have to give me away, Lou. Nothing's going to change. Not in a million-- trillion years. Not even then." I'll always make the same promise. I'll aways mean it the same.
"Not even then," Louis repeats. He swoops down and kisses my cheek briefly, before standing and fixing his blazer. "Friendship bracelet close, Beth. Remember that."
"Always." I say, with a heavy heart. And I have a heavy heart, in the best way, where it feels warm and content. It feels simple.
Louis begins walking, slowly, and at a pace my dress will alow. There are flowers and an obnoxious amount of fairy lights everywhere, that only makes me want to coo. People dressed in navy blue attire, and various pastel and creme colors. The center of the aisle were decorated with white tool and small detailing. Anne, Gemma, and all the other girls are standing respectably in the front row, Harry's large family and close friends standing behind them. A soft looking man standing upfront with a large book in his hands, in front of an arch full of more flowers, the brightest being the sunflowers. Everything looking so heartbreakingly beautiful. Like a fairy tail. Liam, Zayn, and Niall stand next to Harry.
Harry, who looks so fucking good in his suit.
He looks fidgety and restless, only calming down when our eyes connect. And at that very moment, I knew. I knew it'd be okay. Everything would turn out fine if Harry was around.
It feels like only a second has gone by when I'm near Harry. His hand reading for mine, Louis letting go, tearfully and happy. They hug briefly, as Louis takes his place next to me.
I don't pay much attention to the efficient. Can't look at the other guys, or the crowd of people watching. My eyes are dead set on Harry, who seems to be having the same problem. His suit looks ravishing, his hair incredible, and his eyes flowing with emotion. He looks happy. Completely content with what was happening.
And it feels incredible. Like a dream with no end. It was the right amount of cheesy and cliché. It was the right amount of everything.
This was everything.
I almost miss my que. The crowd laughing softly in the distance as I nod and squeeze Harry's fingers.
"I'm uh-- I'm bad with words-- I've never done this before," Harry's amused. I know he is, because he's smiling, his eyes gleaming. "I read a few vows online. Most starting with that--Love is patient love is kind-- quote and honestly, I don't find it very true. Love doesn't wait, and sometimes-- love is anything but kind. I know, I should be up here telling Harry, and explaining to all of you why we're perfect. Why we're going to make it. But I don't think I have to. It's easy, and obviously simple. I've come to love Harry," our eyes meet, and Harry's are unforgivably wet. "I've come to love you," I say, our eyes connected, my complete focus on him. "At 3am when you couldn't sleep, because your mind is too afraid to shut down, thinking there are monsters in your closet. I've loved you at 3pm when you're tired and cranky and all you want to do is come home. I've loved you at your best, and I've come to love you a tiny bit more at your worst. You are my home. You are my person, and if that's not enough proof, I don't think anything ever will be, not when I've come to love you, not when I'll keep loving you forever and almost always. It's just that simple."
There are a few people (who I don't remember, sadly,) that are wiping their eyes. Anne, and everyone upfront aren't even bothering to hide their emotion. Even Louis, who claims to be too cool for tears.
A few tears escape Harry's eyes. "Sorry, sorry," he croaks, sniffling, nodding, and then chuckling.
"It's okay," Father Paul says softly. "Take your time son. It's your moment." And he was right. Right now, no one else mattered. No one else was here.
"I plan to kiss you," Harry starts seriously. It's an odd way to start, but it is a start. He ignores the quiet giggles and chuckles. "I plan to kiss you in the morning, so I can make fun of your morning breath. I plan to kiss you after, and taste your toothpaste. I plan to kiss you when you're angry, and you're throwing your jumper at me," Harry winks, running his thumb over my knuckles. "I plan to kiss you when you're sad and you bubble over with tears, like boiling water. I plan to kiss you when you're laughing, because you make me happy, and I plan to kiss you when you won't stop talking, because I want to taste your voice. I'll kiss you when you're mad and aren't talking because I miss your voice. I'm going to kiss you in public because I want everyone to know and I'll kiss you in private because I don't need them to either. I want to spend the rest of my life kissing you. Only you. I plan on it being like that, because you're it. Because I feel a lot of things for you, that I know I'll never feel for anyone else. Because you're my person. You're my home. Because I love you, more than anything, more than anyone. Because, it's you or nothing."
And it really does feel like I'm selling my soul in the best way, to the best person I know.
"The rings?" Liam and Zayn fumble until they manage to pull out a small ring. Louis reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls it out smug. Because even today Louis needs to win."Do you Bethany Ann Mills take Harry Edward Styles to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?"
"I do," I mutter, shaky and awed. I slide the ring onto Harry's finger, enjoying the way it glistens against his skin.
"Do you Harry Edward Styles take Bethany Ann Mills to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?"
"I do," Harry adamantly replies. With fumbling fingers he slides the band right next to my engagement ring, kissing the top of my hand, right after.
Father Paul flaps his hand, a bright smile on his face. "And now, by the power vested in me, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride!"
It's almost like angles sing, and clouds move. Harry's arms are tight around my waist, mine wound around his neck, as our lips crash and mold against each other. The room erupts in cheers and claps.
"Yeah, I plan on kissing you, for a long, long time." Harry says, once we pull apart. I nuzzle his neck with my nose.
"Anytime you'd like Styles. Anytime."
"I'll hold you to that, Styles." And I really hope he does.
Oh, baby, we found love right where we are. And we found love right where we are.
B.P.O.V
You see, getting married. Committing yourself to one person. It feels like a form of reality, you don't
remember existing. It doesn't feel natural. Maybe it doesn't feel real.
And to me.
It feels like you're selling your soul in the best of ways, to the best person you know.
"Beth s'time to wake up," Louis says, voice slow and sleep deprived. I shouldn't feel so tired, I know I shouldn't be so somber. "Beth, Lou's here and she needs to get started on your hair. Come on, don't make me get Anne."
Louis' threat was a low blow. Because everyone knew that when it came down to the wedding, Anne was the militia.
"Louis," My voice was nothing short of a whimper. And Louis must have realized this as he stilled his arm and he let his hand rest on my stomach. "Louis, I think I'm about to have a heart attack."
"Does your stomach hurt? Your head? What's wrong?" Louis' voice is calm, but I know Louis. I know the way his voice is when he's feeling panicked. "Sweetheart, can you tell me what's wrong?"
"Louis," I whimper, sitting up, chucking the blanket off of my body. "Louis I have never felt this nervous before. This has to be a sign Lou! It's not normal to have three meltdowns before your wedding!"
"Beth, it's normal to be nervous," Louis says, feeling relieved. I'm sure he's glad he won't have to make an unfortunate call letting Harry know I'm on the run. "I'd be worried if you weren't," when Louis sees that I don't relax, that for some bizarre reason I can't, he sighs and sits on his legs, holding his arms open. "Come here. Let me cuddle some sense into you."
I crawl over and plop down on his lap. I'm glad I went with my choice of only having Louis with me as I get ready. It took some convincing for Anne to agree, (because Anne is Anne and she likes to be involved) but in the end I'm glad no one else put up a fight when I had suggested Louis be the only one to help me. All of them agreeing it would be best, since Louis is the only one who can talk me off the ledge. Of course, Anne and everyone else (except Harry, because Louis is still positive that the best thing to do is keep me and Harry apart until the wedding, because Louis doesn't feel it's safe enough to break that tradition) would be welcomed to come see me an hour before I'm due to walk down the aisle. Enough time for Anne to change anything she doesn't like, and for me to fix my face when the inevitable happens and I cry like a newborn.
"You know, before the accident we did talk about what your wedding would be like," startled I moved back, examining his face. "I know. Sounds mad," Louis nods, "you said you wanted flowers and fairy lights. You wanted Ed to sing, and you wanted cake."
"Sounds nice." A bit extravagant, but nice all the same.
"It was. And then you changed your mind."
"What?" Sometimes I forget how indecisive I am.
"Yeah. You changed your mind. Literally. You slapped me upside the head and told me--'forget it, I want something else'-- you said that instead of the big wedding, all you really wanted was Harry to be okay. That you wanted to be okay again and you also said cake was a must." Louis muttered, with a slight bop of his head.
"Cake is always a must Lou." I croaked.
"So did it happen?" Louis says, ignoring my facts about life.
"Did what happen?" A lot has happened. I'm just not sure what he's referring to this time.
Louis tilts his head, and purses his lips. "Are you and Harry okay? Do you feel okay?"
And this is the first time, I'm actually considering this. "Oh," I guess I hadn't really payed much attention to that aspect. Because in all sense of reality, in all the honesty I could muster, I guess I was okay. I was content and relaxed. I wasn't quite so sad anymore. I didn't feel like a giant bruise, that still ached. I felt like me.
I felt like me, even with no memory.
It was nice.
"Oh my God, Lou. I," Louis eyebrows raised, and a small smile was shown. "I'm okay," I couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe I was finally feeling better. "I'm fucking okay!"
"You are," Louis affirmed. "You're okay, and you're getting married today."
"Yeah," a nicer way of saying, I'm selling my soul in the best of ways. To the best person I know. "Yeah I'm getting married and you're upset."
"I'm not upset. I'm tired. Someone snuck off yesterday." Louis accuses, giving me a knowing look.
"You are so upset and you know it." It feels like a game with Louis. Like, I have to pick a vowel or press the right button. "You could just man up and admit it."
"Fuck off," Louis expressed with no heat. "Even on your wedding day you're a twit."
"Well," I frowned. "Aren't you sensitive for someone who's not upset."
"I'm not upset, I'm just trying to picture you as a married women." It's the way Louis' eyes have dimmed and the way his hold on my fingers has tightened slightly, that I know it's beyond him being upset. "S'hard when I'm used to you being 'my best friend Beth', and not 'Harry's wife Beth'. It's almost like you're going to be a completely different Beth."
"I'm going to be Beth, Lou. I'm going to be the same, annoying, loud, sarcastic Beth. Nothing is going to change when it comes to you." Sometimes it's a bit surprising how quickly the mood changes, and how easily my feeling stir.
"Beth, things change all the time. Anything can happen." Louis says, voice doubtful.
"Louis," and if I'm going to say this, I'm going to say this clear and organized, as I look him in the eyes.
"Louis when it comes to you, I'm always going to be that girl you made a friendship bracelet for. The same one you bought Starbucks with and then drank half of it because you liked it better and you wouldn't admit it. I'm going to be the same Beth who came crying to you every time something got bad. You and me aren't going to change. Not in a million-- trillion years. Not even then."
"Not even then," Louis chokes. And sometimes Louis and I have these moments, that are nice and they make me glad I don't remember how it felt not having a best friend. Or how it used to be when I was embarrassingly lonely. "Yeah. Okay, good."
"You're wearing a bow tie right?" Louis squeezes my fingers, probably thankful I had switched subjects.
"Yeah. Ties make me feel old and stuffy."
"I have something for you," I remove myself from his lap, and glide off the bed. I move towards the drawers beside me, smiling down at the black bow tucked away safely. I pick it up, Louis laughing when he sees it.
"Oh God, Anne caved? Knew she would. Should have bet money."
"Actually, Harry got it for me," I stated, sitting back on the bed, facing Louis who looked at my tie in wonder. "It's for you." I tell him, placing it in his hands. Louis looks down surprised, looking down at his hands, like he doesn't believe I actually placed my tie there.
"For me?" Louis whispers. He looks up, with wet eyes, and honestly if Louis cries, I'm going to cry and never stop. "But you love this hideous thing. It was your granddads' and you love him."
"Kind of love you too, Lou."
"I can't take this Beth. It's the only thing you have left of your old life." It's a bit sad. I know. But it's also the truth.
"But you're part of my new life," and as much as I wish he had been part of my old life, I wouldn't trade him now for anything in this world. "Louis, may granddad was the only person who loved me. Now I have so many, that I actually get annoyed. I love you and if I can give you something to remind you of such, then, please let me."
"Oh Beth only you could make something so hideous and depressing, beautiful."
"Your mom is pretty good at that to. I mean, she created you."
"You're also good at killing the moment."
I shrug, and lean over to kiss his cheek. "We've got to start getting dressed. We're too ugly to be natural."
"Speak for yourself," Louis specified. "I'm beautiful. Face of a god. You are...well, you have nice hair."
"Oh my God," I rolled my eyes. "You're the sweetest Lou. You're giving me a cavity."
"Come," he says, standing. He captures my hand and leads us out of the bedroom. "Lou, please help us with this mess." Lou is blonde and I mean questioning the line between white and blonde. She rolls her eyes at Louis mumbling something about him always being annoying and a pain in her ass. She takes my hand and leads me to a chair, sitting me down with gentle hands.
"Hair up, love?" I nod, closing my eyes as Lou beings massaging my scalp. "You're going to look like a vision. Almost, too good for reality." Lou's a nice women. Easily excited and warm. I like Lou. "Louis bring out my make up. Got to make you human looking also."
Louis huffs and marches toward the supplies littering all over my room.
My room is a mess. A big wedding mess, that is going to make me sad when it's all cleaned up.
"Relax, love. Soon I'll have you looking like a fairytale."
****
And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70. And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways. Maybe just the touch of a hand. Well, me—I fall in love with you every single day. And I just wanna tell you I am.
H.P.O.V
"Harry, get up. I've got coffee and in unlimited amount of sweets. And I mean unlimited." My room is dark. It feels empty and cold. My bed feels four sizes too big and my head is running faster than a car. "Harry, your mum is here and she demands you wake up, unless you want her to come in here with a bucket and various objects to throw at you."
"M'up, m'up," my voice is hoarse, and my eyes feel heavy. "Can't a man sleep."
"Not when he's getting married," Liam whips back. "We're running behind, and I'll bet you, Louis has had Beth up for hours now. You're lucky I'm much more compassionate."
"Oh God, I hope he's been gentle with her. My baby's the princess today."
"Oh Haz, you're hurting my teeth, stop it." Liam grins boyishly, and if I had more energy I would have thrown my pillow at him by now. "Shall I bring you a cuppa here, or will you be coming down stairs like a decent human being.
"Why, Liam Payne, aren't you being awfully nice to me."
"You're my princess today," Liam howled. "So you coming? Or shall I get my baby a nice war-"
"I'm coming you idiot." I grumble. "You're in idiot and I wish you weren't my friend."
"Harry Styles, you're breaking my heart." Liam taunted, holding the door open for me. "Your mum made these cookies with cinnamon and sugar. Oh my, Harry. They're like heaven." As we walk down the stairs, we can hear the happy chatter, and conversations happening, thanks to everyone being here, since Beth insisted on only having Louis with her.
And while I understand her reasons (though, I wish I was allowed to be with her), half of me had hoped she would have kept half of the people with her. Not to say I don't love them, because I do, but sometimes they're overwhelming and they don't help with my nerves.
"There he is," Niall's loud voice booms. The chatter quiets down, Mum coming towards me, kissing my cheek, and then walking away with a pat on Liam's shoulder. "Ready to get hitched? I hope so, because your wedding cake looks so good."
"Niall, don't even think about it," Beth had fought long and hard for that five tear, red velvet, cream cheese frosting, cake. "Beth will cry if she sees you took a bite, and I'll kick you in the balls if she cries."
"Warning received," Niall groans, hands raised n surrender. "I'll just have some of your mum's cookies. They're better than any cake."
"Keep telling yourself that."
"Gosh, Haz. Your wedding day has done nothing but make you a prik. Boo." Niall reaches across the table and picks up a cookie, biting into it, with closed eyes. He moans his appreciation and opens his eyes. "So fucking good."
"Why thank you dear," Mum walks in with emotion filled eyes. "I can't believe you're getting married today." She gushes.
Gemma walks in and scoffs. "Can't believe you're getting married before me. I'm the better Styles." She ruffles my hair and kisses my cheek.
"Bitter is not a good color on you, Gem. Try peach."
"You cheeky shit," Gemma complained, sitting herself next to Niall. "Poor Beth. Has to deal with him."
"S'what I said." Niall mumbles around a full mouth. Gemma nods, as Mum shushes them and shakes her head.
"Don't tease my boy. It's his big day."
"No, it's his baby's day. Right Haz?" And sometimes I forget Liam has the ability to torture me.
"Shut up Liam."
"Only cause you're my princess today." Liam winks, and honestly I don't really know how so many women
find that irresistible. "Here's your cuppa and I took liberty in saving you these. There's an even number, because odd numbers are bad luck, and we don't need that today." I also forget Liam can ramble.
"If this whole thing with Beth doesn't work out, give me a call." Although, it's a possibility that terrifies me on new levels. "Oh, fuck. No. Forget I said that. It's going to work out. It is."
"Of course it is baby," Mum helps. She moves to stand in front of me as she brushes my hair from my forehead. "Mumma knows these things. Knows when her baby is going to be okay. S'the only reason I didn't make you go back to uni. Mumma knows." She kisses my forehead and sighs. "Have your cookies and relax, love. We're going to press your suit and wait for Lou. We also have to wait for Zayn to wake up. Li, I may need the bucket."
"Don't worry Harry. If Beth doesn't marry you, I will. Your mum makes killer cookies."
"You are no help, Niall." And maybe this is why Niall became a singer instead of a motivational speaker. "M'going to go eat my cookies. Li, come. Niall's being weird."
"Coming princess," Liam walks next to me, as we leave Niall and his jokes behind. A steaming mug is in his hands, as his bare feet walk on the floor. "Are you nervous? I'd be if it were me."
"I'm not about us. I know Beth is it. I feel it every time she touches me. Or the way I fall in love with her everyday," weddings tend to make me a mess. An emotional, teary eyed mess. "I'm nervous Beth won't like any of it."
"What do you mean? Beth will love it." Liam's adamant tone, boost my confidence. The way he seems to be nervous, doesn't.
"I don't know, Li. Beth doesn't remember my family. I don't want to overwhelm her. I just wish I had pushed Beth to voice her opinion more. Made it more about her, you know?" Liam nods, a considering look on his features.
"I don't think Beth cares about the material stuff, as long as you're both happy. I think Beth will want to make today about you and her. Not the way the flowers are arranged, or what kind of whine is served. Don't be nervous Haz. Beth is going to love it. She already loves you."
"I love her too." In ridiculous ways. "Thanks for everything, Li. For 'accidentally' telling me Beth was in your room that night she was leaving. Glad I was able to put Lilly in her place. So, thank you. Without you, I don't think we'd be here." I should be thanking everyone here. And I will, in time. But right now Liam's with me. His eyes tired, and gleaming happily. He looks tired and warm. It just makes sense to thank him first.
"It was mostly Louis," Liam reminds me. "But you're welcome. I'd do anything for you and Beth."
"Right back at you," Liam leans over and squeezes me hand, with a dopey smile.
"Finish your breakfast. You need to shower, and dry your hair before Lou gets here. You know how she hates wet hair."
"You don't think she'll drop any hints on what Beth looks like, do you?" Every time I go to picture Beth, I get the sudden urge to cry, because I still can't believe it. Can't wrap my mind around how lucky I've been. On how much I love Beth. It seems too fantastic, for my reality.
"Nope. Lou believes in the whole, bad karma, superstition thing. You're just going to have to wait." And I think that's okay, when I know I'd wait for Beth. I'd wait forever if I had to.
"You are all terrible."
"Shut your trap and get in the shower. I've got to help your mum wake Zayn. Hopefully we won't need the bucket."
I may need the bucket.
****
And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70. And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways. Maybe just the touch of a hand. Well, me—I fall in love with you every single day. And I just wanna tell you I am.
B.P.O.V
"Lou, I want to see! Lou!" Louis muttered like an impatient four year old. Banging on the door. And I think sending Louis out to grab coffee was a better idea when we were left alone. Now it's just loud and childish.
"I'm almost done!" Lou called out. "Okay, love, one last good lucky spray. A bit of blush and you're set." Lou sets the curler down, sprays the hair spray where she desires, and brushes the pink powder on my cheekbones. "Okay, I'm going to let your daddy for the day in. Don't mess up my master piece." Lou warns with a shake of her finger.
I laugh while standing. I'm naturally a very lazy person. I'll admit that much. But when you're sitting still for an hour, your ass is bound to complain.
"Okay, I know you wanted coffee, but tea is be-- oh Beth, you-- Lou you are very good at your job." Louis bawled with a shaky voice.
"She's a dream." Lou says outloud, a dreamy look in her eyes. "Thanks for my drink, babe. I'll see you both soon. Have to get the boys ready." Lou winks and blows us a kiss as she packs her supplies and walks out.
And she's incredibly lucky. Because she gets to see Harry while I have to wait three hours.
"Louis your hair looks so soft, I just want to lay in it." His hair is styled so nicely and Lou made it look unbelievably soft. "Now all that's left, is perfume and I have to put on the dress."
"Okay so what's first? Dress or...?"
"I don't know, Louis. I've never done this before. Don't we have to like, bless the dress?"
"No, you tramp. I think we just dress you," Louis probed with sarcasm lacing his voice. "I'll close my eyes and you put the dress on. I'll do the important part and zip you up."
"Or you could go change while I find a way to put all that dress on. You can zip me up, and I'll tie your bow tie."
"Okay, let's do that," Louis nods and scrambles out. "Yell if you fall over!" Louis hollers from outside my room. I can hear Louis moving around, quietly grumbling to himself.
Meanwhile, I'm slowly buzzing with nerves, and my heart begins to pound as I spot the dress hanging over the window. It's just a dress. A strapless ball gown with crystals and other tiny embellishments. It's a dream, that holds so much promise and beauty in its material. It was pretty enough, that I didn't need a veil. Instead flowers and small crystal pins were placed in my hair, giving it a magical feel.
So maybe it wasn't just a dress.
There's a knock on the door, followed by Louis greeting and closing the door. "Beth, the photographer is here." And right. I forgot Anne demanded we have one, because it's important to have pictures. And apparently a video.
I mange to undress myself with shaky hands. I only scratch myself once while sliding the garter on. The dress is heavier in my hands than I remember and it seems a bit small. So while I suck it in, and I step into the dress, my knees are wobbling, and my head is spinning. I hold the dress up with my hands. I almost grip it, because this dress did not allow a bra. Anne did not allow one either. So if the dress decides to be cruel and slide down, Louis will being seeing more than he should. Him and the
photographer.
"Beth? Are you decent?" Louis says, softly knocking on the door.
"Yeah. Come in." I breathe out.
Louis comes in with his eyes closed, almost tumbling forward.
"Why are your eyes closed?"
"Don't want to see you until the dress is on."
"Okay," Louis has always been a strange one. No use for him to stop now. "Forward-- turn. Okay keep going...and reach for my hand...there you go." Louis pats around my back, eyes so shut. He feels the zipper and hums. "Hurry. My hands are going numb."
I can finally breath when the dress is on and zipped closed. I drop my hands, enjoying the feeling of the blood circulating once again. "M'going to need help putting on my shoes."
"Daddy's go--Holly fuck, Beth! Look at you! Oh, I think I'm going t-- look at you." Louis looking up and down. His eyes are wide and his smile is big and painful looking. After a few seconds, he cups his hands over is mouth and bounces on his feet. "You cleaned up well."
"I'm going to take that, as a 'you look kind of nice'," my voice is shaky and it really has to do with the fact, that I thought Louis would think I look ridiculous.
"You look beautiful. You're gorgeous Beth." Louis uttered, with dreamy eyes. "Fuck, this is really happening. You're really getting married."
"I am," and I think Louis going to crack. "Lo-"
"No, fuck! No you're not-- you're so young, Beth. What's--what's the rush? Beth, tell me, is Harry pushing you into this? Fu-"
"Louis, I need you to breathe," and thankfully he does. He breathes in, holding it in for a few seconds before exhaling. "Louis, it's okay. Everything is okay."
"Beth, what's the rush? You're only twenty and there is so much we have to do, as stupid kids. You can-- oh God, I'm being selfish."
"Lou, I'd love Harry if I were fifteen. Fuck, I'd still love him at seventy. I'm getting married, Louis. He's not pushing me, he's not forcing me. There is no rush. Everything is okay. You and me are still going to be idiots together. We're still going to annoy everyone. Nothing is going to change."
"Okay," Louis huffs, with disbelief. "Okay, you're supposed to be the one freaking out, not me. Okay. Go ahead and flip. I can handle it." No he can't. Not with his crazy eyes.
"Hello? Can I come in?" Theres a knock on the door before a middle aged man walks in with his camera and four people behind him. He beams at us and snaps his camera, a flash blinding me for a second.
"Ah, there's the gorgeous bride. Quick, Louis, hold her hands and stare into the depths of her soul." I chuckle as Louis does what he's told, and while normal people would be great at this, Louis and I can't. Because Louis will cross his eyes, or we'll stare for too long, and the giggles just escape. "I was never told you two were gigglers," he sighs. "Are we ready to head to the ceremony space?"
"Almost, my kid needs her shoes on." And Louis may be taking this 'dad for the day' thing a bit too literal.
"Great! Another photo op! Bret, get ready." The young man kneels as I shoot him a puzzled look. Louis shakes his head, and asks for my shoes. I point behind him, as he nods and walks over, picking up a box, containing silver, princess heels. Louis kneels, and I place my hand on his shoulder to steady myself as he places one shoe on my foot and then the other, the bright flashes too obnoxious to ignore.
I have grown a few inches and Louis holds my hands until I'm steady. "You're gorgeous, Beth. I do mean that."
I lean over and kiss his cheek in a silent thank you. "Let's tie your bow." Louis nods, and pulls out my granddad's tie. I pick it up with a smile, ignoring the imposing flash. The black satin goes under his collar, and after a few magic touches it slowly turns into a respectable bow. I fix his bow and straighten it and just like me, Louis' ready, and he looks absolutely wonderful.
What's not very wonderful, are the flashes that keep going off. They're bright and annoying.
"We've got to go out back. It's a zoo up front." Everyone nods and turns left. Louis walks at my slow pace, because this dress really does slow me down. "You really are a walking fairy tail, aren't you?"
I shrug, "I'm just dressed differently."
****
So honey now, Take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Place your head on my beating heart. I'm thinking out loud. That maybe we found love right where we are.
H.P.O.V
"Oh, baby. You look so handsome." Mum has been crying since Lou had arrived. Both gushing about every small detail. My suit. The shoes. The flowers pinned to said suit. Our hair. Gemma and Eleanor's hair, their dresses, and surprisingly, their lack of control over their emotions. They then scrambled into the kitchen and began whispering to each other, and I am assuming they're discussing my future wife.
"Mum, you need to get dressed. Lou won't like it, if you keep crying your makeup off."
"He's right. I plan to make all the women goddesses and I can't do that, if you have black streaks running down your cheeks."
"I can't help it, my baby's getting married!"
"I know Mum," I pat her back gently, wondering how Mum was capable of producing so many tears.
"Okay babe, you're the last masterpiece I need to complete. Everyone else is finished and causing mischief," Lou faces Mum and holds out her hand, which I assumed may be pulsing with having to squeeze a curling thingy for so long. "Let me turn you into art." Mum giggles, and drops her hand on top of hers, with a roll of her eyes. Lou smiles, and then tilts her head to face me. She gives me her best serious expression, narrowing her eyes playfully at me. "Don't mess with your hair, Styles. I'll kill you and marry Beth myself."
She chuckles at my frown and blows a kiss, walking out, Mum following behind her.
I only get a few minuets alone, before a quiet knock is heard and Zayn, Niall, and Liam walk in. "Hey babe, you want company?"
"I want to see Beth," Liam rolls his eyes, "I know I can't, I guess you three will do." I grin.
"Liam was right. You are the sweetest," Niall says, dusting his blazer. "Now, tell us how good we look."
"I'd tap you, if you weren't an annoying fake blonde."
Niall gapes at me, as Zayn laughs along with Liam. "Weddings make you funny," I don't actually believe Zayn when he says that. Only because tired Zayn will laugh at anything. "That was funny, huh Li?"
"Yeah Zayn it was a hoot," and I don't think Liam means that at all.
"Who has the rings? Or-- fuck is that my job?!"
"Haz, breathe. We've got the ring," Zayn rasps, both hands flat on my shoulders. "Everything is as it should be. We're heading out in five, okay? You good?"
I really do think I'm fine. I think, I'm just nervous and if that's the case, Beth might be the only thing that can calm me down, and that's not a very good thing, when Beth and I aren't allowed to see each other for another two hours.
"Okay, has anyone heard from Louis? Is Beth okay? She's fine, yeah?"
"I'll ring right now, if you'll keep breathing. Deal?"
"Deal." I nod.
Zayn pulls out his phone and presses the screen a few times. "Okay, speaker it is." He says when he sees my face.
It rings out loud for a few seconds, until Louis answers. "Yes Zayn? M'kind of busy balancing a tray of scorching liquid."
"Nice to talk to you to. I've got you on speaker. We need you to calm Harry down. He's about to combust."
I won't actually combust, or whatever. I'm just nervous.
"Him to?" Louis exasperates. "Fuck, Beth almost had a breakdown this morning. She's so nervous."
"What?! Oh God she doesn't want t-"
"Harry!" Louis screams over the phone, and it has me wondering how much he's had to yell at Beth. "Harry, she's fine. It's just wedding jitters. Like, the ones you're feeling right now."
"Louis, please don't lie to me." I beg.
"M'not! She's fine. Getting her hair and makeup done as we speak. She's getting all pretty for you."
"Shut up, she's always pretty."
"You fucking bet she is. She's just extra pretty today."
"She's okay? Like, she doesn't want to escape?" My imagination is working against me right now, as I imagine Beth on a train, or a plane, heading somewhere I'll never see her again.
"No, Haz she's perfect, and she'll see you in two hours okay? Try not to have a heart attack until then."
"Okay." I say in my best voice.
"Okay, Lou, we'll see you in a bit. Make sure you also get pretty for us. Love you! Bye!" Zayn hangs up, before Louis can shout and call us names. "Feel better?"
"Yeah. Let's get going."
"Okay, fair warning, it is absolutely mad out front." Niall warns.
"Okay. Are the girls ready?"
"Yeah. Lou managed to finish your mum in record time. The cake has been delivered, the ceremony space has been decorated, and your party space is all done up. We're set."
"The press?"
"Is staying away, thanks to Paul and his contacts. All you've got to worry about is remembering your vows. Everything else, leave to us." Liam is my favorite. Especially when he uses his super powers to calm me down. "Okay, let's get our boy hitched!"
Zayn and Niall cheer as we walk out, Liam following behind us.
Two hours. I can make it. It's just two hours.
Essentially that's one hundred and twenty minuets.
Fuck.
****
When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades. And the crowds don't remember my name. When my hands don't play the strings the same way. I know you will still love me the same.
B.P.O.V
"This is a nice room," I utter looking around. Flowers on top of each flat surface. Pastel colors, like, peach, pink, and green surrounding us. "So wedding, like."
"Well you are getting married, babe."
And yes. I know. I get reminded, every time a bright flash blinds me.
"So where are your brides maids? Your parents? Family?" James (the photographer, who finally informed us of his name, so we don't keep calling him photo-man) asks, looking around.
"No bridesmaids, or parents. No family either. Just Louis." I point to Louis, as he waves with a cheesy smile.
"Really? No one but him?" James asks stunned.
"Yeah. I'm a loser." I shrug, pushing my embarrassment back, trying not to notice the way James is looking sadly at me.
"Oh dear, don't you worry. One person is better, than a room full of fakes." And for the first time today James is absolutely right.
Completely right.
"S'true babe. Anyways, I'm too handsome to share the spotlight with anyone, but the bride."
"Not even then," I replied, laughing at the way Louis rolled his eyes. "So, are we done with pictures?"
"Afraid not. Anne, requested a special one where you and your groom are on opposite walls, holding hands, without seeing each other. It's lovely, if captured correctly, and both sides don't peek."
Just the thought of seeing Harry is worth anything. Even ridiculous, cliché pictures.
"That won't be easy." It sounds complicated, and I'm a very uncoordinated person.
"It won't. But it'll be worth it." That I don't doubt.
Soft knocks are heard, and Louis is at the door in a flash. He opens it, barely moving out of the way fast enough for Anne to come in and begin crying.
"Oh Beth, you're so beautiful," Lou, Eleanor (who stops to give Louis a kiss) and Sophia are quick behind her. Lou handing Anne a tissue. "Look at you darling. All grown up, and glowing."
"I may throw up, but okay. I'm okay. How's Harry? Is he okay?"
"He's as nervous as you are dear," Anne's smile is soothing, and her hug is warm. "A bit afraid he won't see you walk down the aisle." What?
"I'd never do that to him."
"He knows, love. It's just jitters."
"Okay, everyone gather round our princess," James pushes everyone close and aims his camera lens at us. "On three, smile. One...two...three!" The flash is still annoying and I feel like I blinked. "Where are the boys?" Ann walks over and whispers in his ear, and I'm a bit offended. Like I'd ever sneak out and see Harry...
Well I would. If knew where he was.
James nods and turns to leave, mumbling over his shoulder to meet him in ten minuets by the garden.
"You're so pretty Beth." Eleanor gushes, her fingers grazing the crystals on the torso of my dress. "You look like a dream in white."
"I love your hair! The way the flowers and sparkles are placed." Sophia stands on her tiptoes examining all the details and swirls that are incrusted in my hair.
"Thank you." I mumble.
"Okay, quick touch ups and we're off," Lou says, opening her small tool case.
"We've got ten minuets."
"Yes but we may need twenty, just to get you where you need to be. You're wearing a lot of dress, love."
That, is also completely right.
****
'Cause honey your soul could never grow old, it's evergreen. And, baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory. I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways. Maybe it's all part of a plan. Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes. Hoping that you'll understand.
H.P.O.V
It felt like hours. Absolutely torture, taking pictures with blinding flanges of white light. It was cruel, when you had Niall and everyone else laughing, as Gemma yelled at us for behaving like children, when it was just three people.
I was too nervous to mess around.
I'm still nervous. Maybe even more, after finding out, I'll be so close to Beth, and not being able to see her. The serenity in the garden is doing nothing to relax me, whatsoever. The fountain is merely a well that spits water. The flowers are just there, and well, it's nature. Thanks to my nerves, it's just nature.
The way my heart was beating had me worried. Surely it wouldn't be ideal to have to leave my own wedding, because I had the heart of an eighty year old. It began to beat harder when I realized, that at any moment Beth could change her mind. She could realize how much better she could do. That I don't deserve her. Oh god, Beth could leave and I'll never se-
"Is she here?" I ask panicked reaching my hand around the prickled wall. I'd rather not think about that.
Because I'd rather avoid having a melt down.
I half way jump when a soft hand grazed over mine, fingers curling and entwining with mine.
"I'm here baby. I'm here." Beth breathes out shaky.
And okay. Okay. It's good that I'm not the only nervous one. Okay.
"Fuck Beth," I breathe, "baby, I'm shaking." Beth's laugh was soft and her hand felt wonderful in mine.
Even if I couldn't see the rest of her, because 'Harry you two are already unlucky. Can't jinx it further.' Everyone's words repeating in my head.
"M'nervous too," I can hear Beth's frown and I can feel the way her hand is trembling in mine. "Did we really have to take this kind of picture? Makes it hard to keep the whole 'groom not seeing the bride before the wedding' thing going."
"Mum said she wouldn't forgive us if we didn't take it," I may not forgive Mum for being teased with being so close to Beth. "I really wish I could see you. Fuck, baby, this is torture. How are you?"
"I'm nervous sweetheart. And I think I'm loosing my vision. Damn flashes are lethal."
"Not being able to see you is lethal," my thumb strokes the top of her hand, enjoying how the soft skin feels. "You look beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous."
"You haven't seen me," Beth says with a giggle.
"Don't have to," although I wish I could. "I miss you."
"I really want to hug you."
"Should have eloped," I sigh. I didn't realize how hard it would be to stay away, until it actually happened.
"Alright, Harry, look towards the edge, but don't tilt your head. That's against the rules." James instructs. Beth laughs, squeezing my hands. "Beth, stop that. You naughty girl."
"This is cruel," Beth groans. "It's our wedding. Shouldn't we be able to do what we want?" And for once someone is making sense.
"Not when Mumma's here." Mum tuts, and well, okay. "Now look love stricken. Make Nicholas Sparks want to write a story based on this picture."
That's a a lot of pressure. "How much longer?"
"Two more shots, and we'll be finished. Stop fussing and look like you're in love."
"I am," I whine. I'd be more willing to show it, if they had let me see Beth. "I just want to see Beth."
"Yeah." Beth sighs.
"Okay. Okay, you two really are stubborn. Your mum was right." James moves toward the center, ignoring Louis remarks and mums tearful mumbles. "Alright, Harry look towards the edge. Head tilted to the right. Small smile. Beth do the same, but close your eyes. Head to the left."
This photo feels strange. It doesn't feel romantic at all. But the ladies around us awe, and Louis has a dopey smile, so that means it has to look romantic. I think.
Four, infuriating flashes later.
"Alright get out of here. Go touch up your faces. Ceremony starts in five, yeah?"
Mum nods and thanks James as he walks away with his four assistants trailing behind him.
When Beth goes to pull away, I tighten my hold and refuse to let go. "No, don't leave me."
"Baby, I'll see you in five minuets. I've got to go. Have to get married soon."
"I want to kiss you," I'm essentially acting like a brat, but I totally give myself leeway. "Let me kiss you."
"Harry, don't make me slap you," and I like Louis. I do. He's just not the one I want to see. "We've got to go. Beth needs a touch up and I need an aspirin with your screeching."
"I hate you," I grumble. "Bye baby. I'll see you down there?"
"I'll see you soon. I promise." Beth says adamant, her shoes clinking, the sounding fading as she gets further and further away.
"Are you ready love?"
"Yeah. I've been waiting for this day, for a long time now Mum."
"I know you have baby." Mum whispers, pressing a kiss to my head.
"We're so happy for you, bub. For you and Beth." Gemma is just like Mum. Emotional, and always kind. "Care to walk us down the aisle?"
"Love to."
****
But, baby, now. Take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Place your head on my beating heart. Thinking out loud. That maybe we found love right where we are. So, baby, now. Take me into your loving arms. Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. Oh, darling, place your head on my beating heart. I'm thinking out loud. That maybe we found love right where we are.
B.P.O.V
In all reality it's a small wedding... if you're future husband is a pop star, with only his close family and friends. So when I say it's small, to me, ordinary, no family, six friend, me, it's quite the opposite. And Harry did try to spare me. He knows I don't like many people, and luckily Harry wanted it as intimate as possible, because deep down (and I'm hoping it's the same for Harry) I know I won't ever get married again. Won't even try to find anyone worth a longterm relationship.
The choir (which Anne insisted was necessary because they add a certain vibe, that no stereo or cd could produce) arrived later than anticipated. But it gave Louis and I a bit of time to get our thoughts together, and to touch up all the noticeable flaws our embarrassing tears had created.
"Ready?" Louis asks, looking down at me.
I nod, trying not to burst into a sea of tears at the way Louis' eyes have noticeably watered. "Yeah," the choir starts their impending singing, and I can hear chairs screeching and people standing. "Okay, Lou, please whatever you do, don't let me fall." Louis' the first to cry. Louis always cries, and while I find it cute, it doesn't help me slow my erratic heartbeat.
"I'll always pick you back up love. You can always count on that."
My eyes fill up, and I blink quickly, squeezing Louis bicep. "I-- yeah Lou, always."
"Do I have to give you away?" He croaks, sniffs, and looks down. I nod, reaching upward to wipe under his lashes.
"Beside right now, in the literal sense, you never have to give me away, Lou. Nothing's going to change. Not in a million-- trillion years. Not even then." I'll always make the same promise. I'll aways mean it the same.
"Not even then," Louis repeats. He swoops down and kisses my cheek briefly, before standing and fixing his blazer. "Friendship bracelet close, Beth. Remember that."
"Always." I say, with a heavy heart. And I have a heavy heart, in the best way, where it feels warm and content. It feels simple.
Louis begins walking, slowly, and at a pace my dress will alow. There are flowers and an obnoxious amount of fairy lights everywhere, that only makes me want to coo. People dressed in navy blue attire, and various pastel and creme colors. The center of the aisle were decorated with white tool and small detailing. Anne, Gemma, and all the other girls are standing respectably in the front row, Harry's large family and close friends standing behind them. A soft looking man standing upfront with a large book in his hands, in front of an arch full of more flowers, the brightest being the sunflowers. Everything looking so heartbreakingly beautiful. Like a fairy tail. Liam, Zayn, and Niall stand next to Harry.
Harry, who looks so fucking good in his suit.
He looks fidgety and restless, only calming down when our eyes connect. And at that very moment, I knew. I knew it'd be okay. Everything would turn out fine if Harry was around.
It feels like only a second has gone by when I'm near Harry. His hand reading for mine, Louis letting go, tearfully and happy. They hug briefly, as Louis takes his place next to me.
I don't pay much attention to the efficient. Can't look at the other guys, or the crowd of people watching. My eyes are dead set on Harry, who seems to be having the same problem. His suit looks ravishing, his hair incredible, and his eyes flowing with emotion. He looks happy. Completely content with what was happening.
And it feels incredible. Like a dream with no end. It was the right amount of cheesy and cliché. It was the right amount of everything.
This was everything.
I almost miss my que. The crowd laughing softly in the distance as I nod and squeeze Harry's fingers.
"I'm uh-- I'm bad with words-- I've never done this before," Harry's amused. I know he is, because he's smiling, his eyes gleaming. "I read a few vows online. Most starting with that--Love is patient love is kind-- quote and honestly, I don't find it very true. Love doesn't wait, and sometimes-- love is anything but kind. I know, I should be up here telling Harry, and explaining to all of you why we're perfect. Why we're going to make it. But I don't think I have to. It's easy, and obviously simple. I've come to love Harry," our eyes meet, and Harry's are unforgivably wet. "I've come to love you," I say, our eyes connected, my complete focus on him. "At 3am when you couldn't sleep, because your mind is too afraid to shut down, thinking there are monsters in your closet. I've loved you at 3pm when you're tired and cranky and all you want to do is come home. I've loved you at your best, and I've come to love you a tiny bit more at your worst. You are my home. You are my person, and if that's not enough proof, I don't think anything ever will be, not when I've come to love you, not when I'll keep loving you forever and almost always. It's just that simple."
There are a few people (who I don't remember, sadly,) that are wiping their eyes. Anne, and everyone upfront aren't even bothering to hide their emotion. Even Louis, who claims to be too cool for tears.
A few tears escape Harry's eyes. "Sorry, sorry," he croaks, sniffling, nodding, and then chuckling.
"It's okay," Father Paul says softly. "Take your time son. It's your moment." And he was right. Right now, no one else mattered. No one else was here.
"I plan to kiss you," Harry starts seriously. It's an odd way to start, but it is a start. He ignores the quiet giggles and chuckles. "I plan to kiss you in the morning, so I can make fun of your morning breath. I plan to kiss you after, and taste your toothpaste. I plan to kiss you when you're angry, and you're throwing your jumper at me," Harry winks, running his thumb over my knuckles. "I plan to kiss you when you're sad and you bubble over with tears, like boiling water. I plan to kiss you when you're laughing, because you make me happy, and I plan to kiss you when you won't stop talking, because I want to taste your voice. I'll kiss you when you're mad and aren't talking because I miss your voice. I'm going to kiss you in public because I want everyone to know and I'll kiss you in private because I don't need them to either. I want to spend the rest of my life kissing you. Only you. I plan on it being like that, because you're it. Because I feel a lot of things for you, that I know I'll never feel for anyone else. Because you're my person. You're my home. Because I love you, more than anything, more than anyone. Because, it's you or nothing."
And it really does feel like I'm selling my soul in the best way, to the best person I know.
"The rings?" Liam and Zayn fumble until they manage to pull out a small ring. Louis reaches into his shirt pocket and pulls it out smug. Because even today Louis needs to win."Do you Bethany Ann Mills take Harry Edward Styles to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?"
"I do," I mutter, shaky and awed. I slide the ring onto Harry's finger, enjoying the way it glistens against his skin.
"Do you Harry Edward Styles take Bethany Ann Mills to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?"
"I do," Harry adamantly replies. With fumbling fingers he slides the band right next to my engagement ring, kissing the top of my hand, right after.
Father Paul flaps his hand, a bright smile on his face. "And now, by the power vested in me, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride!"
It's almost like angles sing, and clouds move. Harry's arms are tight around my waist, mine wound around his neck, as our lips crash and mold against each other. The room erupts in cheers and claps.
"Yeah, I plan on kissing you, for a long, long time." Harry says, once we pull apart. I nuzzle his neck with my nose.
"Anytime you'd like Styles. Anytime."
"I'll hold you to that, Styles." And I really hope he does.
Oh, baby, we found love right where we are. And we found love right where we are.
Notes
Happy Christmas (\^.^/)....or happy whatever it is you celebrate!
I'm missing something but I don't know what it is :( anyway, I love you all and I hope you all have lovely days!
Thank you for everything. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
P.S I am totally hibernating. Totally.
#vote #bffs #bethssupportgroup
Omg, I love this update! This just made my morning. :)
9/26/15