THE DEATH OF ME

Harry was ready after 5 minutes as he promised. He emerges out of his room, in a clean white shirt and black jeans. His hair is wet, and the cut on his cheek is less permanent, though his eye is turning purple and his lip is swollen.

"I invited Ed to join," I say to him. Harry looks from Ed to me, and gives a slight nod of agreement.

We drive in silence and I am glad Ed is with us, not wanting to think what kind of a supper it would have been if he wasn't.
I open the door and call out for Nan. The house smells amazing, and I remember I haven't eaten all day.

"In here doll," Nan calls out, and we stride into the lounge.

"Nan, this is Ed, an old friend of Harry's," I introduce them.

"Lovely to meet you, I hope you are hungry," Nan shakes his hand.

"Sure am maim," Ed smiles.

"And Harry, It's so nice to- Oh dear! What on earth happened to you?" Nan's hand flies to her chest in shock of Harry's face.

"Oh this? It was rather silly really.. When Cass and I were out earlier, I asked this kid to try his skateboard.. Needless to say it wasn't a good idea," Harry smiles, making his dimples show, looking as if it wasn't a big deal at all, and there is nothing to be worried about. Though Ed and I exchange glances, since we know the truth, and we're in fact very worried.

"Well that was silly, wasn't it? Damaging your pretty face that way," Nan gets to her feet, looking up at Harry.

"Yes, Cassie said the same thing.. Let me help you," Harry slides an arm across Nan's shoulders, as he chuckles, walking into the kitchen with her.

"Cassie, smile," Ed whispers in my ear before following them.

I take a deep breath before striding after him, promising myself that Harry has a good explanation, and I just need to wait until the end of supper to hear it.

"I hope you like chicken," Nan says, opening the oven.

"Can I help as well?" Ed asks, his hands in his pockets.

"No man, you're a guest, you sit down and relax," Harry replies, taking the hot dish out of Nan's hands.

"So are you," Ed states, a grin on his lips, while his brows are in a frown.

"No I'm not, now go sit," Harry answers, making Nan and me laugh.

"What are you laughing? You are washing the dishes," Harry sticks his tongue out at me.

I can't understand how he can switch into being so funny and playful after whatever it was that happened to him before.

I shuffle into the dining room sitting down next to Ed.
"Cassie, you must play along with this if you don't want your Nan to get suspicious," Ed whispers.

"I never realized what an amazing actor he is," I reply, just as Harry walks into the room, followed by Nan.

By the look on his face I can tell he heard me, though Nan was in a world of her own, talking Harry's ear off, about what she has put in the chicken and for how long it has cooked for.

"Cassie, you're awfully quiet this evening," Nan states, putting some potatoes on Ed's plate.

"I'm just tired, from my day out with Harry," I sigh, my eyes stopping on him for a moment.
His jaw is clenched but I don't really care. This is my house, why should he make me uncomfortable?

"So you had fun?" Nan smiles.

"Sure she did," Harry grins, though the smile doesn't reach his eyes, leaving them cold.

"Ed, what do you do?" Nan moves over to him, oblivious to the tension at the table.

"I'm a singer song writer, well, trying to be," He smiles a shy smile.

"Nonsense! He is fabulous, you should have seen how many people showed for his gig the other week, it was mad," I jump on a conversation that would be easy for me to tell the truth and be all smiley about.

"Really? How wonderful, so I reckon it is going well," Nan looks impressed.

"It is," Harry replies.

When we are done, Harry and Ed help Nan clear the table, while I started on the dishes.
Nan doesn't believe in those dishwashers, saying it is silly to own one, if you need to rinse the plate out before sticking it in, so therefore I do the washing.

"Well, it's late, we should be going," Harry states, "It was lovely, thank you for having us," He bends to kiss Nan's cheek.

"You're absolutely welcome, come back anytime- you too Ed," Nan giggles.
"Cassie, why don't you walk your friends out?" Nan offers, noting me hiding out in the kitchen.

I sigh, drying my hands, and joining them at the entrance.
"I'll be right back," I mumble to Nan, and walk out the door Harry held open.

"Thank you for inviting me sweetheart, I'll leave you two to talk," Ed hugs me and steps into the car, closing the door after him. Harry moves aside, beckoning me to him.

"Cassie," He starts.

"Don't Cassie me," I snap without giving him another chance.

"What were you thinking? How could you do that to me?! Leaving me behind? Not telling me what is going on? Not answering your phone?! What were you thinking?" I push him back, my little hands colliding with his torso, though the push doesn't have enough strength behind it to even move Harry one step.

"Let me explain," Harry asks of me quietly.

"You get cross with me when I walk home by myself, or when I don't answer your calls, but that is nothing compared to what you just did! You show up at my house lying to my Nan we had plans. Take me to your flat just to leave me there, ordering not leave or open the door and then show up hours later with a busted face! Is that normal to you?! Because that is not my kind of normal!" I exclaim, the anger rising in me with every word that leaves my mouth, remembering what he did.

"Are you done?" Harry seems bored.

"No! Then you come and lie to my Nan- without even consulting me, making me lie along with you! I hate lying to her!" I shout.

"All right," He whispers, his hands tucked into his jeans, his eyes on the pavement.

"Alright? Alright?! Is that all you have to say to me? who was that who called you? That you decided to leave me behind for?" I am hurt. He said I was different, but yet, I have a feeling this is the same loop I have read about, the same loop Liam warned me about, and I feel played.

"Ben," He hisses. Just the thought of Harry picking Ben over me breaks my heart.

"W-what?" The pieces sink to my stomach.

"Cassie, let me explain," He steps closer, taking hold of my arms.

"How could you? And for Ben?" I can barely whisper.

"I wanted to bring you with me- I didn't want you out of my sight.. You see I had this whole date planed for us, I wanted to take you drifting, so you can see for yourself what it is, and what it feels like, and then Ben called," He swallows.

"Why did you even answer?" I am chocking down my angry tears. I am not one to cry, and I will not let Harry see me crying again, once is more than enough.

"Because.. You must understand, drifting season is upon us, and not many take part. Ben and I have this bet every year before it starts, just to make it a little more interesting. He wanted to meet, I was going to bring you, but he said no," Harry was talking really fast, his words jumbled.

"Why would you out of all people listen to him?" I don't let this go. This is too big to just forgive him.

"Because these bets usually finish dirty, and I didn't want you getting hit too. He reminded me of that, and all I could think about was your safety. I knew Ed will keep you company and safe while I was gone."

"He did this to your face?" I finally ask.

"Him and another two.. But you should see their faces," Harry smirks, noticing I'm softening up.

"What is your bet about?" Is my next question.

"The two things I love most, you and my car," Harry is back to being serious, his dark green eyes shine in the moonlight. He is so beautiful even when his face is marked.

"Why would you bet on them?" I am stunned.

"Well, I bet him, that if I win, which I will, that he stays away from you- that he can't come near you, look at you or talk to you ever again," Harry states.

"You didn't," I can't believe I am that much important to him.

"I did," He takes a step closer.

"What did he ask if he wins?" I am too scared to hear the answer.

"He wanted you.. That is how the fight started.. Then he asked for my car instead," Harry shrugs.

"And you agreed?!" I can't believe my ears, Harry agreed for Ben to get his car.

"He won't win Cass, and if I had to choose you are a far better choice than the car anyway.

"I can't believe all this really happened today, it feels like years since I went food shopping with Nan," I sigh.

"Do you forgive me?" He tilts his head down to me.

"I do, if you promise never to put me through something like that again," I whisper to him.

"I promise," He smiles, kissing my forehead and then my lips.

"I better take Ed back home, he can get cranky," Harry winks and heads back to the car.

I wave goodbye as they pull away, then go back into the house.

I thank Nan for the lovely supper and excuse myself to my room. I lay down on my bed, playing in my head my shouting at Harry. It felt good. He let me vent everything I was holding inside and I feel I can finally take deep breaths again.

I never thought I would be able to, I was sure he would stop me. Shutting me up, but he didn't, making me believe we are different. We are stronger then what Zayn could ever imagine. We are good for each other.

My phone beeps, letting me know I've got a message, and I get up to get it from the dresser.
I lay back down on my bed as I open to see who it's from.

From Harry: You where to caught up in your shouting, that you didn't even notice that I said you are one of the two things I love most.

The flattering in my belly is pronounced now, sending butterflies up my chest to my throat. I am one of the two things Harry loves most. He loves me. He said it. I was there. I heard it, and know he mentioned it again in the message. I read it over again before deciding if to answer him back or not.

To Harry: I love you too.

Notes

Thank you thank you thank you for making me feel better about this story.. I hope I will fall in love with it again. I will continue writing even though it will be taking me a little longer now.. Please don't hate me for it x

BTW- I got challenged for the ALS Ice bucket challenge- did any of you done it yet? Iv'e done it last night, and I also donated since I feel people forget what it's really about, so if you can- even if it's only a little donate- it's really important.
xxx