Rage

Harry:
“Are you?”

My eyes go to close and pretend the entire thing had all been a dream but this doesn’t go over too well with him.


Harry:
“Don’t fucking play games with me Ally. Are you having sex with him?”


Ally:
"I'm not,"

Harry:
"...you didn't have that necklace on when you left this morning, you're here when your building isn't even open today... and you haven't let me touch you all week, so I know I didn't give you those marks on your neck. Do you think I’m an idiot, is that what this is?"

I'm back to staring away and down in my lap. I hold my fingers near one another as I process what he's just told me. I guess he was more observant than I gave him credit for. I want to tell him everything but fear is alive in my chest again.

Harry:
"Ally,"

I shake my head slowly but I'm not sure why.

Harry:
"Ally, I’m parked over there. I saw him kiss you goodnight. Why was I watching my girlfriend be that way with her boss?"

Ally:
"You...you have this all wrong."

Harry:
"Then explain to me which part I have wrong Allison. Look at me and tell me,"

I feel the tears leaving me humbly again.

Harry:
"The text you just got-was that really Lori?"

I look up to the flicker of one of the street lights and just keep my attention there.

Ally:
"No,"

He goes to unlock the door but I'm quick with the button again. His temper is surfacing quickly now but I let go of my insecurities to turn toward him fully and tangle our fingers so he’s less likely to leave me here.

Harry:
“Let me out. You either won’t see him Monday or I’ll be making great friends with a bottle.”

Ally:
“No…”

I don’t even want to think about him touching another bottle after all the trouble it’s been keeping him away from it.

Ally:
"…Harry, he's- … he's been touching me..."

I start without thinking.

Ally:
“…Everywhere.”

I can’t begin to explain how painful this is to communicate with him staring so intensely back at me.

Ally:
“At first I thought it was nothing, he was just being polite and then…a little too friendly-"

I wait for him to snatch and storm away but he just sits there still with attention to me.

Ally:
"I noticed he’s getting the numbers wrong purposely and it takes all day for me to correct them…”

I notice his fingers are receptive of my own and less of me holding him against his will.

Ally:
“Then he- kissed me. And tonight…he did a little more. I don't like it Harry, I swear. I tell him no but he just doesn’t listen to me. Then he wants me for overtime every day. And I'm tired and tired of lying to you, I'm sorry."

I pop off the necklace and drop it in the cup of coffee that's been in here since this morning.

His features seem to soften but I can’t be sure what he’s thinking until he speaks back to me.

Harry:
“…How long?”

I can tell immediately that he’s hurt and a little confused, likely because I’d been keeping it from him.

Ally:
“A few weeks ago…when he selected me for his department.”

Harry:
“Has he gone yet?”

Ally:
“I’m not sure,”

Instantly he goes to snatch away but I anticipate it.

Harry:
“Let me go,”

Ally:
“No, Harry. Please,”

Harry:
“You know I’ll find him. It doesn’t matter if its tonight or not, but I will.”

Ally:
“See Harry, this is why I was afraid to tell you. You can’t do that.”


I guess that went ignored.

Harry:
“Have you been to his place?”

The keys are in his other hand or in other words out of my reach. If it were up to me we’d be discussing this with my attention to the road.

Ally:
“Once but I promise that was before when I thought it was professional.”

He turns away as if now disgusted.


Ally:
"I didn’t know what to do, he's my boss -…I’m sorry."

I’m crying all over myself and can almost hear my words as an echo into the silent car in the background.

Harry:
"Shit...I knew something was wrong. I knew it. I just didn’t know what…”

I’m barricaded in the scent of his shower gel, just grateful for the slight distraction.

Ally:
"I didn't want you to be angry at me, or do anything-"

Harry:
"Why would I-"

He starts but seemingly realizes the root of our history. He didn't hurt me anymore but there would always be a part of him that could.

Harry:
“I just- I can’t do this right now. I just have to go.”

My heart breaks when he’s successful and I watch until he’s no longer visible in the dark of night. I hadn’t remembered crying like this since I was a child but I do so whole-heartedly. I feel like this is all my fault, like maybe there was something more I could have done so I wouldn’t disappoint him. I’d always hate myself for doing that.

--

Harry’s POV:

I’m seeing life in double after that last glass and work on pouring my frustrations out sexually on the blonde stranger that now shares my bed. The more I drink the less traffic flows at a constant rate through my mind of the conversation I’d just had with her. There’s thoughts of the two of them pissing me off even now and a divergent stream of consciousness that ponders what I should or shouldn’t believe. The sight of her crying makes me weaker to things that in a separate life I wouldn’t care about. But I was so sick of her lying to me. I didn’t know what it was about her past that caused her to hold things in…but maybe it was partially my fault. To this day I still didn’t know of a single person she had told about my angry fits of rage, which only tells me that she’s further gone than I’d originally thought. I loved Allison. I love her. And still I was unable to put those feelings to good use anymore. Confusion was a terrible stage of any state. A part of me feels like a waste for leaving her there after seeing how remorseful she expressed herself to be. Here I am hoping that she had gotten home alright when I was given a chance to make sure of it.

I tassel for awhile there in the covers with her until I’d officially had enough and just wonder of the next time I’d see Ally…If that asshole was still harassing and further tainting the one I loved there was no telling what I was capable of doing now. Any act against her on his part was simply unforgiving. I guess that’s why I always had a hard time forgiving myself after...

The haze of the high causes me to drift after the orgasm. And still she’s the only thing on my mind tonight.

--

Ally’s POV:

I clear my throat before knocking and entering once prompted.

Allen:
“Shut the door.”

He mutters almost not at all and I mingle there internally with a great deal of hesitancy. I look back before stepping in and slowly pushing the door into it’s frame. Immediately the nerves go to settle in my chest and I just remain quiet until I’m given a clue what it is that he’d want.

Allen:
“Is everything okay?”


Why would everything be okay?

Ally:
“Yes sir.”

He looks up from his work but I avoid the intimacy of eye communication.

Allen:
“Allison, I’ve told you about the “sir” thing.”

Still I remain silent, smoothing a crease from my shirt as I ignore that comment.

Allen:
“I’m just letting you know that I have other engagements this evening, so you’ll be free to go your regular time.”

Ally:
“Alright.”

My brain begins entertaining the idea of stopping to see Harry with that free time after work. I hated when we left the ambiguity of lose ends.


Ally:
“Will that be all?”

He takes a sip from his coffee mug and gives a quick grin.

Allen:

Notes

Really meant to post this eariler guys but I wasn't home all day. Thanks for the patience.