Rage

She had been in town a few days now and I hadn't seen him since. It was like this since meeting him and I had learned not to question it much considering the whole temper thing. He'd told me one night that they'd met during childhood and just from observing I knew she meant a lot to him. I knew why that was important, considering I had a sister but it never felt like it. She technically wasn't family but she was to him I guess. All I knew now was he seemed to always conveniently forget I existed when she visited....It's nothing. That's what he says. That's what I always believed upon his insistence. Callie. That was her name. It would be a few more days before she'd leave and I'd cross his mind again. Until then I'd just leave it alone.
--

I go about cleaning my room as a time filler. It was always a different dynamic when I was just here alone. I feel the after taste of my thoughts just oppose my mood of relaxation. I think about grabbing a book or something to read but quickly decide against it. My cigarettes are still perched deep into the contents of my purse but I convinced myself to pretend they weren't. It's quite warm in the room and I can smell Lori cooking something downstairs that I'm not hungry for. I sit on the floor when I spill the jar of change across it, and begin recovering them one by one.

Taylor:
Hanging out with me today?

My phone buzzes with a text and I give a glance in thought. I'm trying to think of the last time I actually took change to the store to purchase something. It was still currency but I preferred it in any form but.

Ally:
You know harry will kill me...

Contrary to popular belief, I honestly didn't mind how controlling he could be at times. Especially with things he knew were bad for me. In certain ways it was how every relationship should be.

Taylor:
Come on, you don't have work tomorrow.

I knew that I would not even be considering this if it weren't for this open time I was spending doing nothing. I half wished I did have work so I wouldn't get nagged all day like a child by Lori. I just sit here in place while my mind travels through the curiosities of what my boyfriend was doing at the moment. I had to stop checking my messages for him.

Ally:
Give me an hour.

I type almost regrettably but head for the shower nonetheless.

--

My mind is a maze again. I sit here as the only girl in the group of my guy friends and profoundly become silent. It happened every time so it was only right for me to assume that this was how I took the exposure to it. I don't know why I did stupid things some times...or maybe I did. It was always something reckless or something I knew my family would never approve of. It was never on purpose but I did them anyway. I had it stop that.

Harry:
I'm in your room. I thought you were here.

Everyone's either asleep or talking in a low manner between on another. I think I'm on that sleep trail when I place the phone on the table and lie back into the couch.

Taylor:
Want to go again?

I nod in interaction and dig the hole I'm lying in a little deeper. There's alcohol around but I just avoid the offers. I guess that was being good in a way.

Ally:
Have some things to do. I'll catch up with you another time.

I feel like it may have taken an hour to finish the message but after its sent I focus away from the phone and into relaxing again.

Taylor:
"You can crash here."

My eyes fall shut again and I take a deep breath in the mist of the polluted room.

Ally:
"Thanks."

Taylor:
"Who did your tattoos?"

I'm sure he notices my sluggish state but doesn't hold back with the constant conversation.

Ally:
"Harry knows a guy."

Hopefully they'll be no questions following this one.

Taylor:
"Nice."

Ally:
"I'll get his number for you later."

I mumble into unconsciousness.

--

I open my eyes with first instinct to look at the clock. It's been only thirty minutes but my memories serves me thirty days. Everyone's gone with the exception of him and I make my way up.

Ally:
" I'll call you later."

He nods clearly in a galaxy of his own as I make way toward the door in déjà vu and greet the night.

I turn the doorknob of our place and immediately head in the direction where I know she's not. I enter the tidied bedroom and reach to pull my jacket off when I see him. Why me?

I hold my head for a sec to brace myself for the argument before kicking off my shoes.

Harry:
"So...that's where you were?"

I stand just against the wall, answering the text from Taylor just seeing if I were home okay.

Ally:
"What do you mean?"

He's up from my bed, and my phone leaves my fingers when he pulls at it slowly.

Harry:
"Really?"

I play with the ends of my hair avoiding eye contact.

Harry:
"Look at me."

He seems to notice but I'm just hoping he doesn't ruin my mood. When I don't obey my chin is pulled up and I give him what he wants. Of course my state is obvious.

Harry:
"Why this time?"

I fall into his chest like such a child because I really didn't care for the questionnaire. I settle when I feel him embrace me back fully. I know the scent doesn't bother him but he hates that it lingers to me of all people.

Harry:
"I won't get on you now... but I will."

Ally:
"Okay."

I hear myself reply to him as I mildly drift again.

--
I stare into the mirror, taking a piece of hair and passing it slowly with the flat iron. We listen to each other’s silence minus the occasional click of the ceramic as I set it down.

Harry:
“So…”

I was prepared for whatever this was going to be. There’s Pandora playing softly in the background while I focus on not burning myself.

Harry:
“Don’t tell me this is abou-”

Ally:
“I was just bored.”

Harry:
“So you call Taylor when you’re bored?”

Ally:
“He texted me, and…I don’t know.”

Harry:
“You know what I’m going to do to him now, right?”

Ally:
“Harry, will you stop. He didn’t force me to do anything so just be angry at me.”

Harry:
“But I specifically asked him-“

Ally:
“You asked me too, you know.”

I speak calmly taking another section of my hair. He seems to enjoy watching despite the content of our conversation.

Harry:
“Yea...and you wonder why I have such a temper.”

He’s mumbling but I know that it’s meant for me to hear.

Ally:
“So I’m supposed to obey you, is that it?”

Harry:
“Don’t twist my words, you know I-“

Ally:
“Why haven’t I heard from you in a few days?”

I ask like I didn’t already know the answer to that.

Ally:
“And you were supposed to go to Dr.Horan.”

Harry:
“I did…”

I glance at him from the reflection of the mirror because for whatever reason I had assumed that he’d just blow it off. His attitude towards the entire matter had never pointed to otherwise.
I finish up with my hair and unplug the cord from the wall. The weather’s moderate today but the chill still blows in from the window. The curtains blow in the direction they’re encouraged and I take a breath in for refreshment.

Harry:
“I…I uh- took her with me.”

My immediate reaction is to feel jealousy and question what stretch of the imagination that seemed logical to. I’d better not.

Ally:
“Okay,”

I somehow manage to remove the crease from between my eyebrows and begin picking up the things I’ve just disturbed from the dresser onto the floor.

Harry:
“You know it’s not like that or anything. I just needed to-“

Ally:
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

I sigh with my clumsiness. A part of me loved that he had actually been going as faithfully as I had. And though he usually had little to share with me so far on the matter, I’d assist him with figuring himself out. I guess he was comfortable enough to have her there but I decided on rather digressing my thoughts. He’s close as I busy myself with rearranging of hairsprays and deodorants.

Harry:
“You sure? I sense a little attitude.”

Fingers are in the hair to move it over to rest over one shoulder. I loved his affection but in certain circumstances I would rather avoid it. This was one of those. And I didn’t want to play the game.

Ally:
“No attitude. I’m sure.”

I move away from the touch to shut the window and decline the call my phones giving.

Ally:
“I’m going to make a tea, would you like one?”

She had been in town a few days now and I hadn't seen him since. It was like this since meeting him and I had learned not to question it much considering the whole temper thing. They met during childhood and just from observing I knew he was madly in sync with her. At first that sort of attention he pinned toward her certainly didn't sit right me, especially with the way he seemed to always conveniently forget I existed when she visited...but they were just friends I guess. That's what he says. That's what I always believed upon his insistence. It would be a few more days before she'd leave and I'd cross his mind again. Until then I'd just leave it alone.

--

I go about cleaning my room as a time filler. It was always a different dynamic when I was just here alone. I feel the after taste of my thoughts just oppose my mood of relaxation. I think about grabbing a book or something to read but quickly decide against it. My cigarettes are still perched deep into the contents of my purse but I convinced myself to pretend they weren't. It's quite warm in the room and I can smell Lori cooking something downstairs that I'm not hungry for. I sit on the floor when I spill the jar of change across it, and begin recovering them one by one.

Taylor:
Hanging out with me today?

My phone buzzes with a text and I give a glance in thought. I'm trying to think of the last time I actually took change to the store to purchase something. It was still currency but I preferred it in any form but.

Ally:
You know harry will kill me...

Contrary to popular belief, I honestly didn't mind how controlling he could be at times. In certain ways it was how every relationship should be.

Taylor:
Come on, you don't have work tomorrow.

I knew that I would not even be considering this if it weren't for this open time I was spending doing nothing. I just sit here in place while my mind travels through curiosities of what my boyfriend was doing at the moment. I had to stop checking my messages for him.

Ally:
Give me an hour.

I type almost regrettably but head for the shower nonetheless.

--

My mind is a maze again. I sit here as the only girl in the group of my guy friends and profoundly become silent. It happened every time so it was only right for me to assume that this was how I took the exposure to it. I don't know why I did stupid things some times...or maybe I did. It was always something reckless or something I knew my family would never approve of. It was never on purpose but I did them anyway. I had it stop that.

Harry:
I'm in your room. I thought you were here.

Everyone's either asleep or talking in a low manner between on another. I think I'm on that sleep trail when I place the phone on the table and lie back into the couch.

Taylor:
Want to go again?

I nod in interaction and dig the hole I'm lying in a little deeper. There's alcohol around but I just avoid the offers. I guess that was being good in a way.

Ally:
Have some things to do. I'll catch up with you another time.

I feel like it may have taken an hour to finish the message but after its sent I focus away from the phone and into relaxing again.

Taylor:
"You can crash here."

My eyes fall shut again and I take a deep breath in the mist of the polluted room.

Ally:
"Thanks."

Taylor:
"Who did your tattoos?"

I'm sure he notices my sluggish state but doesn't hold back with the constant conversation.

Ally:
"Harry knows a guy."

Hopefully they'll be no questions following this one.

Taylor:
"Nice."

Ally:
"I'll get his number for you later."

I mumble into unconsciousness.

--

I open my eyes with first instinct to look at the clock. It's been only thirty minutes but my memories serves me thirty days. Everyone's gone with the exception of him and I make my way up.

Ally:
" I'll call you later."

He nods clearly in a galaxy of his own as I make way toward the door in déjà vu and greet the night.

I turn the doorknob of our place and immediately head in the direction where I know she's not. I enter the tidied bedroom and reach to pull my jacket off when I see him. Why me?

I hold my head for a sec to brace myself for the argument before kicking off my shoes.

Harry:
"So...that's where you were?"

I stand just against the wall, answering the text from Taylor just seeing if I were home okay.

Ally:
"What do you mean?"

He's up from my bed, and my phone leaves my fingers as he pulls at it slowly.

Harry:
"Really?"

I play with the ends of my hair avoiding eye contact.

Harry:
"Look at me."

He seems to notice but I'm just hoping he doesn't ruin my mood. When I don't obey my chin is pulled up and I give him what he wants. Of course my state is obvious.

Harry:
"Why this time?"

I fall into his chest like such a child because I really didn't care for the questionnaire. I settle when I feel him embrace me back fully. I know the scent doesn't bother him but he hates that it lingers to me of all people.

Harry:
"I won't get on you now... but I will."

Ally:
"Okay."

I hear myself reply to him as I mildly drift again.

--
I stare into the mirror, taking a piece of hair and passing it slowly with the flat iron. We listen to each other’s silence minus the occasional click of the ceramic as I set it down.

Harry:
“So…”

I was prepared for whatever this was going to be. There’s Pandora playing softly in the background while I focus on not burning myself.

Harry:
“Don’t tell me this is abou-”

Ally:
“I was just bored.”

Harry:
“So you call Taylor when you’re bored?”

Ally:
“He texted me, and…I don’t know.”

Harry:
“You know what I’m going to do to him now, right?”

Ally:
“Harry, will you stop. He didn’t force me to do anything so just be angry at me.”

Harry:
“But I specifically asked him-“

Ally:
“You asked me too, you know.”

I speak calmly taking another section of my hair. He seems to enjoy watching despite the content of our conversation.

Harry:
“Yea...and you wonder why I have such a temper.”

He’s mumbling but I know that it’s meant for me to hear.

Ally:
“So I’m supposed to obey you, is that it?”

Harry:
“Don’t twist my words, you know I-“

Ally:
“Why haven’t I heard from you in a few days?”

I ask like I didn’t already know the answer.

Ally:
“And you were supposed to go to Dr.Horan.”

Harry:
“I did…”

I glance at him from the reflection of the mirror because for whatever reason I had assumed that he’d just blow it off. His attitude towards the entire matter had never pointed to otherwise.
I finish up with my hair and unplug the cord from the wall. The weather’s moderate today but the chill still blows in from the window. The curtains blow in the direction they’re encouraged and I take a breath in for refreshment.

Harry:
“I… took her with me.”

My immediate reaction is to feel jealousy and question what stretch of the imagination that seemed logical to. I’d better not.

Ally:
“Okay,”

I somehow manage to remove the crease from between my eyebrows and begin picking up the things I’d just disturbed from the dresser onto the floor.

Harry:
“You know it’s not like that or anything. I just needed to-“

Ally:
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

I sigh with my clumsiness. A part of me loved that he had actually been going as faithfully as I had. And though he usually had little to share with me so far on the matter, I’d assist him with figuring himself out. I guess he was comfortable enough to have her there but I decided on rather digressing my thoughts. He’s close as I busy myself with the rearranging of hairsprays and deodorants.

Harry:
“You sure? I sense a little attitude.”

Fingers are in the hair to move it over to rest over one shoulder. I loved his affection but in certain circumstances I would rather avoid it. This was one of those. And I didn’t want to play this game again.

Ally:
“I’m sure.”

I move away from the touch to shut the window and decline the call my phones giving.

Ally:
“I’m going to make a tea, would you like one?”

Notes

Next chapter will be posted next week. I'm shooting for Wednesday. Thanks for reading, and hi to the new subs.