Harry's POV

"Alright," I huff, unwrapping Mum's arms from around Carmen. "If anyone gets to hug her it's me."

"I guess this means you two are okay?" She looks between us and Carmen smiles wider than I was expecting.

"Yeah." She looks up at me. "We are." I didn't realize how good it would feel to hear her say that.

"Are you staying?" Mum asks her.

"No, my Dad came with me. We're staying at a hotel."

"Your father is here!" She claps her hands and I chuckle to myself at how excited she is, just like I said she would be. "He'll have to come see us! Oh, it'll be lovely we can all have dinner together. I bought a roast for tonight that's too big for four, anyway. Call him, have him come!"

"Let's do that from upstairs," I suggest, taking Carmen's hand. She waves to everyone as I drag her up the stairs and back into my room. When she shuts the door I lift her off the ground and Carmen squeals quietly when I push her against the door.

"That was kind of rude," she mutters breathlessly.

"If we're being honest, I don't care."

"Okay, but-"

I don't wait for whatever argument I was about to get from her because I would much rather be kissing her. She immediately wraps her arms around my neck and force of habit makes my hands slide under her shirt. Carmen hooks her hand around the back of my neck and I groan quietly, turning to lay her on my bed. Whenever I kiss Carmen I lose track of everything else and what I can pay attention to is too overwhelming. Her hands, her lips, her tongue, her entire body. I can't think about anything else and it takes all of my self control to keep from ripping her clothes off.

"Harry, hang on," she mumbles against my lips. "I should call my Dad."

"Yeah, okay." I lay my head against her chest and she laughs quietly.

"My phone is in my jeans."

I get up to find it for her, fishing her phone out of one of her pockets. Her lock code is still the same, so I dial her Dad's number and hand it to her, sitting against my headboard while she holds it against her ear. She's too far away, though, so I pat the space between my legs for her to come closer.

"Your eyes look more green," she says, sitting with her legs crossed so she's facing me.

"Do they?"

"Yeah, like a tree."

"A tree," I repeat, laughing at her analogy.

"Or an emerald. That's prettier." I just laugh. She gets her Dad on the phone, assuring him everything went fine and telling him about Mum's invitation. Once he's got the address she talks to him a few more minutes before hanging up and taking my hands, lacing our fingers together on either side of us.

"Did you tell your Dad what happened with us?" I ask suddenly, frowning to myself. That could be bad for me.

"Do you think he would have let me come here if I did?" She scoffs. "No. He knows you did something, but I didn't tell him what."

"Is he going to hurt me?"

"No," she laughs. "I talked him out of it on the flight over here."

"So he was going to!"

"He wanted to. I've cried every day since he came home and not only am I his daughter, I'm his only child. Over-protective goes with the territory."

"Fantastic."

"He won't do anything, I promise," she says, lifting herself onto her knees. She uses my hands for support to bring her knees to either side of my hips. "You have no idea how much I missed your smile."

"Really?" She nods and sets my hands on her legs, slowly sliding her fingers up my arms. "I missed...everything."

"Yeah. That too."

"Maybe you should just stay here for the summer," I suggest, squeezing her hips.

"If my Dad wasn't home for a while I would take you up on that."

"Right." My eyes flutter closed as her fingers delicately travel along my jawline. Her touch breathes life into me, an energy that I've never felt. It's a heat the runs from the tip of her finger to every part of my body and I finally feel alive when I'm with her. "Then I'm going back with you."

"You need to spend time with your family," she reminds me.

"Yeah, but they had me for like...eighteen years."

"I plan on having you a lot longer than that."

My eyes fly open and when I expect to find a hint that she wasn't serious, I don't. Carmen stares right back at me with no trace of humour in her expression. She has no idea this happened, but a few weeks back I passed a jewelry store and decided to glance at engagement rings. I always knew she was it for me, but I had no idea she ever thought the same way. I don't have a ring yet, but I always planned to get one anyway.

"Don't look so surprised," she says, smiling at me. "It's not that shocking."

"I love you." I hug her body to mine. "I love you so much."

"Yeah, I'm counting on that."

She leans down towards me, letting her lips brush against mine ever so slightly and pulling away when I try to kiss her back. Her giggling makes me laugh too, but the frustration is real because she won't let me kiss her damn lips. When I push her backwards she laughs louder, trying to push me away as long as possible. That doesn't last long, though.

"Damn it, Carmen." I laugh and pin her hands down beside her. "It's been like three weeks. Just let me kiss you."

"This is fun, though."

"Is it," I deadpan. She laughs and then the door opens. Of course the door opens. Why should I get to kiss Carmen. Steph walks straight in and picks up a little stressball I had on my desk. "What do you want, Steph?"

"I'm hiding out from helping," she says simply.

"Well hide somewhere else."

"Harry." Carmen tries to wriggle out of my grip. "Don't be mean."

"Steph deserves it. Right, Steph?"

"Wrong. Harry, you have this whole boyfriend thing wrong because she has to say yes to you being on top of her."

"You are literally so annoying," I tell her, sitting back on Carmen's waist. "Why don't you go get settled in the guest room?"

"No, I thought I'd snuggle up with you." She uses too much excitement and Carmen laughs at her. "I'm sure Carmen is okay with that."

"Totally," she agrees, smiling at me. "He's really comfortable."

"Excuse me," I butt in, poking her stomach. "For one, I'm not cuddling with Steph. For two, if anyone is sleeping in here it's going to be you."

"Well, my Dad is here so that's not going to happen."

"Speaking of that," Steph says, "Your Dad is here."

"You could have lead with that." I shake my head at her and let Carmen off the bed. "Okay, should I be scared?"

"Yes."

"No," Carmen says, laughing at Steph's answer. "He wouldn't hurt you with your mother watching."

"You're not good at comforting me."

As she leads me down the stairs my stomach starts turning. Even if Carmen didn't tell her Dad what happened he still knows that I fucked up. Maybe I should have thought through the whole dating a girl whose father is in the army thing. That could end up pretty bad for me because don't they have guns? Maybe it's not with him...but he wouldn't kill me. Probably.

"Stop," Carmen whispers, stopping at the bottom of the stairs. "I can see you imagining the worst. So stop."

"Easier said than done," I mutter.

"Don't worry, I'll protect you."

That's comforting. She pulls me down the hall towards the kitchen, holding my hand tightly when I try to pull it away. It's not that I don't want to hold her hand, but I feel like touching her at all in front of her father is just weird right now.

"Harry." Mr. Lewis stands up from his chair to shake my hand. He's actually smiling. "It's good to see you."

"You too, sir."

"Sir?" Mum laughs. "That's new." I look at her with wide eyes and she laughs again. That's not helping.

"I'm glad you two working everything out," he says sincerely. "And stop looking so scared. I'm not here to hit you."

That relaxes me a little. It's a little embarrassing, but oh well. Family dinner with mine and Carmen's is a little surreal because a few hours ago I never thought I'd get the chance to do this. Ever. I never thought I'd get to be the one to make her smile or reach for her hand under the table. The look on my mother's face is pretty priceless, too. She lives for this kind of stuff and I can't say that I hate it. Quite the opposite, actually. It's even nice to have Steph here when she's not giving me a hard time.

Having Carmen when I get back to school in the fall changes everything. It makes living with the boys seem so much less appealing, and the thought of graduating and moving back here is even worse. I never planned on staying in America forever, but Carmen being there makes it much more appealing. Plus, Carmen is a year younger than me and she has another year after I'm done. What would that mean for us.

"Harry," Carmen whispers, placing her hand over mine. "What's wrong?"

"What?"

"You're staring at me." She stares at my face for a minute. "What?"

"We're going for a walk," I announce, standing from my chair. Carmen continues to stare at me while I hold my hand out for hers. "That okay?"

"Go right ahead," Mum says, smiling at both of us. Carmen slides her hand into mine and lets me pull her to the door. I'm so happy with her and now the thought of losing her yet again terrifies me. Now I know what it's like to feel like I won't have her again and I can't go through that anymore.

"Harry, you're freaking me out," Carmen says when I open the door. I can't talk to her here, so I wait to say anything until we're outside. She follows me down the driveway and stops at the end when I turn onto the road. "Harry!"

"What's going to happen to us?" I blurt out.

"What?"

"Next year after I graduate. Or you graduate or...I don't know. How are we going to do this?"

"Do what?" she asks, walking closer to me.

"This. Us." I push my fingers through my hair and try to take a deep breath to keep my heart rate normal. "I can't lose you again and I just-"

"Wait." She steps closer to me again and flips her hair over her shoulder. "Lose me? Why are you losing me?"

"I don't know, I'm pretty stupid sometimes. Plus, you and me...we fight. It's always-"

"Okay, stop," she says, gripping the open collar of my shirt. "Don't ruin today. Nothings happening to us because I know what it feels like not to have you. And unless you get sick of me and send me away-"

"That's not going to happen," I assure her. She smiles.

"Then we have nothing to worry about. Harry, this is it. You and me, this is exactly what I want and whatever happens next, we'll be able to deal with it," she says, resting her hands on either side of my face. "We're done being stupid and I'm done pushing you away. I'm not losing you again and I refuse to live through a life without you because it wouldn't be a life. How many times do I have to tell you I'm here for good for you to believe me?"

"I don't deserve you. So probably a lot."

"Fine." She wraps her arms around my neck and my hands find their home on her hips. "Then I'll keep telling you. That, and that I love you."

"I'll never get tired of hearing it," I mutter, smiling at her. "I love you, too."

"Then we'll be okay."

Notes

aww :`)
so just the epilogue left :( ive started it but idk what to do for sure.

happy new year my lovelies<3 be safe tonight.xx