Carmen's POV

If the situation was a little different the expression on Harry's face might have actually been funny. But the situation isn't different and I'm completely terrified. It took me a full twenty-four hours to convince my father that I needed to come here to see Harry. He wasn't all that thrilled, but he finally agreed. The whole going on my own part didn't work out so well, though, so he's back at the hotel. He almost came here with me but I didn't let that happen. I thought this moment should be parentless.

"Why...what are you doing here?" Harry asks, his hand still on the door. "This is...you're in England."

"Yeah," I breathe. Why can't I say words?

"Who is it?" someone asks in the house. I assume it's Gemma, but then someone that isn't Harry's sister rounds the corner. Harry doesn't even look at her, his green eyes focused on me.

"Give me a minute, Steph," he says quietly.

"Who's this?" she asks, peeking at me over his shoulder.

"Steph. I need a minute."

"You are so damn grumpy today!" She turns and walks off to the back of the house.

"She's not-"

"I don't care," I tell him, interrupting whatever explanation I was about to get. He stares intently at me, waiting for my own explanation that I seem to have forgotten.

"Carmen, what are you doing here?" Harry asks, I'm not sure if he's about to cry or pass out, but it could be either at this point. I feel the same. "Do you want to come in? You look freezing."

"No, I just..." I shake my head and my wet hair moves around a little. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." His eyes grow sympathetic.

"I've been rehearsing what to say to you in my head for the last two days and now I can't remember any of it," I tell him quietly, trying my best not to cry. "I'm sorry to just show up like this. I wanted to talk to you after I saw you at the party, but you were already gone and I-"

"You what?" he asks, his eyes wide.

"I miss you," I whimper, my shoulders slumping. "I'm so tired of missing you, Harry. I want to be mad at you and hate you for what you did but I can't. I don't want to be that girl that lets someone treat her like shit, but I can't convince myself that you're a bad person because I know that you aren't. And if-"

"Carmen-"

"Please let me finish." He sighs and nods his head. "What you did was wrong and you hurt me. But I refuse to spend the rest of my life regretting being too stubborn to let you back into my life. Because I'm so in love with you that it doesn't make sense and at this point I don't see any way of getting over it. I'm too sad without you and I just..."

"You just what?" he asks quietly, his eyes searching mine.

"I know I pushed you away and I hurt you after you hurt me. I didn't know how to handle it and I thought I was doing the right thing for myself by keeping you away. I thought I knew what was best for both of us, but I didn't." I step a little closer and his breath catches, watching me with an intense stare.

"You didn't," he repeats, sort of asking. I know this is a longwinded way of explaining myself and he's clearly waiting for me to say it.

"You're what's best for me," I tell him. "I love you, Harry. And I might be too late to be able to take any of it back, but-"

Harry steps forward, out into the rain to cup my face in his hands. His lips feel warm against mine as he takes another step, leaving us both in the rain. When my fingers crawl into his hair it's already dripping wet and the feeling of his tongue against mine makes my knees feel weak. As his lips start to move slower I lean my forehead against his, my thumb tracing his bottom lip.

"I missed you," he says. "I missed you so much."

"I'm so sorry."

"Baby, you have nothing to apologize for. Absolutely nothing." He smiles and lets out a breathy laugh. "I thought I was imagining you on my porch."

"I'm here."

"Yeah," he breathes. I almost forgot it was raining; the only thing I could feel was him, his hands, his lips, everything about him. Now, looking up at him, I can see the drops on his face and in his hair, soaking through his tshirt. But even with all that, he still feels warm.

"Not to be rude, but it's raining," I whisper. He smiles and consequently takes my breath away. "Are you going to invite me in?"

"Nah." He looks up and shrugs, hugging my tighter. "Kissing in the rain is kinda sexy."

"Well cross it off your bucket list and bring me inside."

"In one more minute." He leans down to kiss me again, and then I can't argue. Why would I?

---

"Take these." Harry tosses me a shirt and some pajama pants to me. "I can put your stuff in the dryer."

"Thanks." He peels his shirt off to put a fresh one on, his eyes catching mine when he pulls it over his head.

"What?" He smirks and sits on the edge of his bed to wait for me.

"Nothing." I tug my shirt over my head and notice his eyes flicker to my bra. "So who's Steph?"

"Right. She's my cousin. Sort of. Robin's niece, she stays with us a lot," he explains. I sit next to him to peel my wet jeans from my legs. "She came to try to snap me out of my depression."

"Depression?" I ask. He shrugs and pulls his wet hair back into a bun. Oh. He was sad because of me.

"Hey, don't look so sad," he says, sliding his hand over my back. "I'm definitely happy now."

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

"Don't be. I fucked up, I deserved to be sad for a while. Plus, I told her what happened so she's totally going to be on your side. She's been busting my balls all day."

"Oh. I think I like her," I decide. He laughs and lets me slide the giant pants over my legs before tugging me to stand between his legs. I could never get used to the way he looks at me. "Remember the first night we spent together?"

"Sort of," he laughs. "I remember more about the morning."

"Me too. You handled my distaste pretty well."

"Most girls are ecstatic when a guy stays the night but you could not have been less pleased with my presence. And I didn't even have clothes on."

"I had no idea that would lead to all this," I mutter. He sighs.

"Any regrets?" he asks, his smile fading. My fingers caress his jawline, his eyes fluttering.

"Not one." He relaxes when I lightly press my lips to his. Sure, Harry and I have been through a lot and I've experienced more hurt this year than I probably have in my whole life combined, but if it got us here and it works this time around, then it was worth it. Harry would always be worth it.

"We should probably go downstairs," he says quietly. "Not that I want to, but if we leave Steph alone too long she'll come searching."

Harry stands up and kisses me once more, taking my hand to lead me down the stairs. Being in this house brings back so many memories; Christmas seems like a lifetime ago, but Harry's house is only a positive reminder of our relationship. Good things happened in this house.

"Did you come alone?" he asks.

"No, my Dad came. He's at the hotel."

"Mum is going to be so excited to see you," he says, walking backwards down the hallway. "And when she finds out your father is here she's going to want him to come over for dinner."

"That sounds nice." My Dad meeting Harry's parents would be a normal thing to do. When we walk into the kitchen Steph throws something at Harry's back. He yelps and spins around, picking up the apple she tossed at him.

"What the fuck! That hurt, Steph!" He sets it on the counter and shoves her away. "You're so annoying."

"Shut up and introduce me to your friend," she says. She turns and smiles at me. "Hello."

"Hi," I laugh. "I'm Carmen."

"Is she a rebound?" she asks Harry. He rolls his eyes and I laugh again at how bold she is.

"No, she's not. She's the girl from back at school."

"The one you've been crying about."

"I haven't been crying," he says, folding his arms while his cheeks flush pink.

"Why else would your blankets be all wet?"

"Because you poured a bucket of water on me."

"I hope you can handle liars," Steph says to me, walking past me and into the living room. Harry shakes his head and motions for me to follow her, his arms wrapping around me from behind. We waddle over to the couch and Harry covers us in a blanket while Steph takes the rocking chair. She asks loads of questions about me and Harry, including a few fairly personal ones that make Harry throw things at her.

"I don't see how that is any of your business," he says, rubbing his eyes in annoyance. When I laugh he smiles, though.

"I don't see how it isn't," Steph fires back.

"That's a double negative."

"You're a double negative." She looks at me while I laugh and continues with her questions. "So, is he all mushy and gross?"

"Sometimes," I tell her, looking at Harry. He raises his eyebrows at me, trying to bite back his smile. With his arm extended over the back of the couch his side is a perfect fit for me, my legs laying over his lap.

"Throw me under the bus, why don't you," he mutters. When I kiss his cheek he sighs, half-smiling and rolling his eyes at me. "Alright, you're forgiven."

"Yeah, you're definitely gross," Steph says. Harry throws the last pillow within his reach at her face and she blocks it easily. "Nice try, loser."

"Why are you still here?" Harry waves his free hand around. "Go ruin someone else's day."

"Actually, Sunshine, you ruined my day."

"Did I? Sorry-not-sorry."

"Are you sure you two aren't actually related?" I ask them. Steph scrunches up her nose and Harry shakes his head profusely. "You're surprisingly similar."

"We are nothing alike," Harry says immediately.

"Harry, you bug people the exact same way."

"Ha!" Steph laughs and points at him. "You're like me!"

"You realize you're insulting yourself, right?"

The front door opens behind us, Anne and Robin running in from the storm. They both peel off their wet coats and shoes, stepping into the living room to say hi to Steph. After she's hugged them both Anne scurries into the kitchen to get snacks without even realizing I'm sitting with Harry. He laughs and shakes his head, kissing my temple. Robin notices, though; he smiles and leans down to give me a hug.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you," he says in my ear.

"It's good to see you, too."

"Anne, honey?" he calls. "Can you come in here for a minute?"

"In just a second!"

"She's going to cry," Harry says, wrapping his other arm around my shoulders. Robin just laughs and sits on the other couch while we wait. Anne asks a few things, like which cheese they prefer for sandwiches and what kind of drinks everyone wants.

"Just tell her I'm here," I whisper to him.

"Nah, it's more fun this way."

"Okay, here's some chips and that to start," she says, setting a tray on the coffee table. "I'm not sure if-" Anne looks up and sees me on the couch, her eyes going wide when she realizes who I am. "Carmen!"

"Hi," I laugh, standing up to hug her. Like Harry predicted, she cries a little while she hugs me. "It's so good to see you, Anne."

"Oh, you have no idea how much I was hoping you would show up here."

Notes

okay so turns out i lied :P theres one more!!!
and also, does anyone else love steph? shes great.

so yeah, theres gonna be one more chapter and then an epilogue just because i love you guys.