Carmen's POV

When I get to the restaurant where I'm meeting Liam the first thing I think is that I hope Harry isn't working. But then I remember Liam telling me they're all going to a part later so he probably isn't. Although, a tiny part of me wants to see him. A really tiny part.

Seeing him a few days ago broke my heart all over again. I honestly didn't think he'd have the nerve to show up at my apartment, but at the same time I'm surprised it took as long as it did. It's the worst feeling to miss someone you know you can't be with. Harry betrayed me, he lied to me and I refuse to be the girl that falls for that sort of thing.

When I spot Liam he's sitting at a table with a girl. She's got incredibly dark hair and pale skin, strong cheekbones. She's really pretty. And the way she's looking at Liam...

"Carmen!" Liam looks up from his own puppy-dog staring and waves me over. "About time."

"Shut up," I laugh as he hugs me.

"Carmen, this is Rachel. Rachel-"

"It's so nice to meet you!" Rachel stands and hugs me instantly, resulting in a laugh from Liam. "Liam has told me so much about you."

"You too," I respond when she lets me go. We all sit down and Liam smiles quite fondly at her. "I hope you weren't waiting long."

"Half hour. We almost got up and left."

"That's not true," Rachel says, lightly swatting at Liam's arm. He nudges her back with his elbow and wipes the smile off his face when I raise my eyebrows at him. He told me they were staying friends while they were doing this together. Friends.

"Whatever. Either way I'm starving."

Rachel seems like a really good girl. The flirting between her and my best fried doesn't let up the entire time, but I like her. She lives in an apartment here with her sister, but her family is from the same town as Liam's. That's how they met. Liam is staying here for the summer so he can be there for her and the pregnancy. My best friend is going to be a father. So strange.

"I'll be right back," she says suddenly, jumping up from her chair to head for the bathroom. Liam's worried eyes follow.

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah. Well no," he says, turning back towards me. "She's got pretty bad morning sickness."

"That's too bad." He nods and glances behind him again. "Liam."

"Yeah?" I wait for him to look at me again. When he sees my expression he rolls his eyes. "Don't."

"You totally like her," I accuse, leaning my chin on my hand. "It's so obvious."

"I don't like her, we're just friends. Besides, we already agreed that we couldn't go there right now. This is going to be complicated enough as it is."

"Whatever you say." I slide out of my chair and pat his shoulder. "I'll go check on her."

"Thanks."

When I push the bathroom door open I hear a toilet flush. Rachel slowly emerges from the stall, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. When she sees me she manages a small smile.

"I'm okay," she says, stepping over to the sink.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm just nauseous a lot. And apparently I don't like pickles anymore."

"Do you need anything? I think I have a pack of gum in my purse," I offer. She laughs.

"Thanks, but I'm used to this. I have a toothbrush and everything in mine."

"Okay, I'll go grab it." She smiles at me and I swing the door open, jumping as I round the corner to head towards the table. "Fuck! Liam!"

"Sorry," he laughs. He holds up Rachel's purse. "I thought she'd need this."

"How thoughtful," I coo, staring at him. He rolls his eyes and turns around again to head back to our table. He can deny it all he wants, but I know my friend. Liam has never been good at hiding his feelings; he's never felt the need to, either. Why should he? I know he's never seen a need to do that. This situation is different, I'll give him that, but I would think that the parents of a child being together would make it less complicated if anything. But it's not my decision, obviously.

"Liam brought it," I tell Rachel, setting it on the vanity. Her cheeks flush pink and she looks down. "How's he been with all this?"

"Amazing," she says quietly, smiling. "He's been to both appointments so far and he always brings me stuff at home. If I let slip that I'm craving something he'll bring it, or my sister will tell him and five minutes later he'll be at my door."

"That's Liam for you."

"Carmen, I know you know him better than I do and I don't know what he told you about us but-"

"Rachel, you don't have to explain anything," I assure her. I don't know where she was going with that but I'm the last person she should feel defensive towards.

"I was going to apologize," she says sheepishly.

"To me? For what?"

"I don't know, I just feel like I need to apologize to everyone lately," she says, sniffling and wiping under her eyes. If anyone needs a hug it's this girl, so that's what I do. She apologizes for crying and mumbles a few things while I try to console her. She's probably under so much pressure and feeling so many different things right now. I can't imagine being in her position.

"I'm the last person you should be apologizing to," I tell her. "I want to be there for you and Liam through this whole thing. I know a lot of people are going to make you feel bad about this, but I am not one of those people. Liam is my best friend and if you need anything I'll be there, okay?"

"You really are as great as Liam said you are," she says, wiping under her eyes. "Ugh, I'm such a mess lately."

"You're allowed to be," I tell her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute."

I leave her alone in the bathroom to clean herself up. By the time I get back to our table Liam looks extremely nervous, his knee bouncing and his fingers fidgeting with anything in his reach. He seems frantic when he asks about Rachel, but after I assure him that she's fine he relaxes a little bit. I don't know if this is a protective baby daddy thing or if he cares about her more than I realized, but with the way Rachel is feeling it's good to see that he cares so much.

When Rachel comes back to the table he finally relaxes, and they both seem a little more at ease around each other. It's interesting to watch them together but it's also nice. At least he got someone pregnant that he enjoys being around. Otherwise that would be unpleasant for everyone.

After dinner they head off to Rachel's apartment while I go my own route. My Dad's letting me drive his car while he's back, which is convenient for me. While I'm close I decide to go to my house to get the rest of my things; I don't think I'll be living there next year, anyway, and there isn't a lot left in my room. But when I get there it's a little louder than I expected.

"Are you kidding me?" I mutter, slamming my door shut. I'm here now so I might as well get a few things, at least. Of course, it's the first weekend after exams have finished so it's no surprise that the girls are throwing a party. And it's much bigger than the usual ones.

"Carmen!" Kayla runs towards me and hugs me. "You came!"

"No, I'm just getting some of my stuff," I shout to her. She pouts.

"Have a drink with me!"

"Maybe later. I need to pack."

Before she can try to convince me I head for my bedroom, pushing through the bodies crowding the kitchen. When I get towards the back where the hall begins I hear a familiar laugh and before I can stop myself I look towards it. Niall. And Louis. And Zayn...and Harry. None of them notice me at first, and just when I think I can slip away without having to look into the green eyes I've been haunted by, Niall spots me.

"My favourite!" He yells over the music. He puts his arm around my shoulders. "We miss you at the house!"

"Hi Niall."

"Have a drink!"

"I can't, I-" I make the mistake of looking at the rest of the boys and the expression on Harry's face makes my chest hurt. He stares right back at me with something in his eyes I can't quite decipher. All the noise in the house fades into the background, but then he looks away and everything feels like too much again.

Without saying anything to Niall I push through the rest of the crowd to get to my room. The tears in my eyes cause me to fumble with the lock, but when I finally get inside it's impossible to keep them at bay. It was easy to convince myself that I was handling this break-up well when I never saw Harry, but every time I see him I start to fall apart all over again. Sometimes I feel like I should just forget about all of this and stop being so stubborn, but then what would that make me? If I go back to someone that lied to me and hurt me that would be incredibly stupid. But if Harry loves me as much as he says he does...

A knock on my door pulls me out of my spinning thoughts. Drunk people get distracted easily, so I let them stand there for a while hoping they'll go away. But whoever it is continues to knock. I wipe away the mess on my cheeks as best as I can before I open it.

"Louis." I sigh and step to the side to let him in.

"Are you done with this yet?"

"Done with what?"

"We both know that sooner or later, one way or another you and Harry are going to end up together," he says, sitting on the edge of my bed. "So I don't understand why you insist on making yourself so miserable."

"I'm not miserable," I lie.

"So you weren't crying before I came in here?" Damn. "I know it's none of my business but frankly, I don't give a damn anymore. Harry is my best friend and you're pretty close to the top of that list too, and you have no idea how much it sucks to see you both so heartbroken."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Forgive him."

"It's not that simple."

"Um...yes it is," he argues.

"I do forgive him," I tell him, throwing the rest of my clothes into a bag. "But I'm tired of this. The back and forth, always wondering if we're going to make it. I'm sick of hurting like this."

"Then get back with him."

"Louis."

"There's a really easy way to fix this," he says, standing up again. "You don't want to be heartbroken? Then be with Harry. He made a mistake, but he's human and you've both suffered enough for it. Just be with him, and this time work through your fucking issues instead of bailing."

After that I'm left speechless, watching him walk out of my room again. He makes it seems so simple, and maybe it is, but it doesn't feel that way. I want to believe that we could make it work one more time, for good, but history reminds me that we haven't been able to yet. Why should this time be any different?

But then, what if it is different? We both know how it feels to lose the other and I know in my heart that Harry never meant to hurt me. He made a mistake; granted, it was giant and it broke my heart into a million pieces, but I am so tired of feeling like this. And I hate that Harry is so torn up about it. I thought me telling him I forgive him would help, but he still looks just as heartbroken as before. I know he would never purposely try to ruin what he have. Had. Fuck.

Maybe if he just talked to me. Maybe if he convinced me one more time and told me how much he loved me, then I could...but is that fair to him? He's been trying, he tried to fight for me. Maybe I've pushed him away too many times.

But I have to try. I rip the door open again and shove people out of my way to get back to where I saw the boys. But there's one missing, the one that I want to talk to.

"He left," Louis says simply.

"Did he go home?"

"I would assume so."

They're all asking me questions when I start running off, but I don't hear it. I sprint down the street to Harry's house and don't bother knocking, sprinting into the house and tripping once when I run up the stairs. But then I get to his room and it's empty. Emptier than usual.

"Harry?" I call, walking inside. My stomach drops when I see that his closet is empty. Anything personal is gone and when I walk through the rest of the house I realize he's not here. Where is he and where in the fuck is all his stuff?

When I call him number it goes straight to voicemail. Tears are forming again and I start walking back towards my house, running when I see the boys coming towards me. Louis hangs up his own phone and gives me a sad look.

"Where is he?" I whimper.

"He left," he says quietly. "I'm sorry, Carmen."

"Left? What do you mean he left?"

"He went to the airport."

"What?"

"He said he couldn't take seeing you anymore. He wasn't supposed to go home for a few days, but-"

"He went home?" I ask quietly. Louis nods. "He's...he's gone."

Notes

quick update? sort of :)
please keep commenting!!!

we're close to the end...like maybe two chapters left. i would have warned you sooner but i kind of forgot :| oopsies.