Harry's POV

"Harry."

I groan and squeeze my eyes shut, tensing my body up. Evidently that means pulling someone closer to me but I have no idea who the fuck it is. I don't remember a lot of last night but if there is some fucking girl in my bed that I don't know or that isn't Carmen I'm going to kill myself. I will legitimately want to die because then I've officially fucked my whole life up.

"Harry, wake up."

That voice is surprisingly familiar. Slowly but surely I peel my eyes open and the blonde hair in front of me makes my nerves lessen. I slowly lift my head to peer over her shoulder. Carmen looks up at me and my whole body relaxes.

"Fuck, it's you." I lay back down behind her, just now noticing that we're definitely spooning. And I mean I'm holding her really close to me.

"Who else would it be?" she asks.

"I don't know, but I can't remember much from last night. I don't remember going to bed together."

"Me neither," she says. "But I assumed it was you."

"Yeah." My eyes close again since she doesn't seem to mind us cuddling right now. Once I'm settled in I feel her start to trace her fingertips over my hand, which is hanging limply over her stomach. I actually have my boxers on so I'm assuming we didn't do anything...

"Harry?"

"Yeah."

"I really have to pee."

I laugh a little and separate myself from her a bit so she can get up. Instead of going to the end to get off the bed she puts her legs over my torso and sits on my stomach. I groan and she laughs as she jumps off the bed and to my surprise she's wearing one of my tshirts. Only my tshirt. Just my...okay.

Little pieces of last night remain in tact in my memory. Like seeing Travis and Carmen and playing beer pong with Louis and...oh. Me and Carmen. We...definitely kissed. A lot. Like a lot.

But I don't remember anything else, so that must mean it didn't go further than that. That I would definitely remember. I would, wouldn't I? I fucking hope so. That would not be a good thing.

"I feel like shit," Carmen groans, swinging my door shut and crawling back over me. She lays on her side facing me and pulls the blankets up to her neck. After a few minutes she opens her eyes again. "Why are you staring at me?"

"I'm not."

"But you are."

"I do have a question."

She smiles and closes her eyes again. "We didn't do anything last night."

"That's not what I was going to ask," I lie. She laughs a little but doesn't say anything. "Okay, fine. I don't remember a lot of last night."

That's where she opens her eyes again. "Really?"

"I remember...stuff with us," I tell her. She smiles shyly and pulls the covers up a little further. "But not a lot else."

"How fortunate," she says sarcastically.

"Come on, it's not that bad. It's not like it hasn't happened before," I mutter.

"Harry."

"Sorry," I laugh. "Just saying."

"I drank so much last night," she says. "How do I remember it?"

"I'm not the kind of person you can just forget kissing." I tuck my hands under my head with a smug smile and she shakes her head at me, biting the inside of her cheek so she doesn't smile. I'm not really this arrogant but I know it makes her either laugh or annoyed. Either way it's cute.

"I could say the same about the three other guys I kissed last night."

My head quickly turns towards hers and she giggles quietly in satisfaction. This time I'm trying not to smile while she laughs at me and I turn onto my side, my hands reaching for her sides. She starts squealing with laughter and trying to push my hands away.

"Harry! No Harry, don't!"

"What?" I laugh, my fingers still attacking her sides. "What's wrong?"

"Stop! Harry, seriously! Seriously, don't," she says desperately, laughing harder and harder as I continue. "I'll throw up on you!"

"Woah!" I stop and she successfully pushes my hands as far back as she possibly can.

"Ha, just kidding. I knew that would make you stop."

"I'm stronger than you, you know that right?"

"You don't scare me."

"Yeah?" Her back hits the wall when I try reaching towards her again and she laughs as she tries to keep my hands away.

"Harry," she laughs, pushing as hard as she can. "Come on, don't tickle me."

"Why can't-"

"Knock knock," Niall says, walking straight into my room. Carmen and I stay in the same position but I turn my head towards him. He raises his eyebrows and smiles slightly. "Wasn't expecting this."

"Expecting what?"

"For you to have company."

"Why do you guys always come in here without knocking?"

He rolls his eyes and walks closer to the bed. The fact that Carmen is uncovered and only in her tshirt makes me want to lay on top of her so he can't see her.

"Do you guys want coffee? Everyone's hung over and we have none so me and Mel are going to get some," he says.

"You and Mel?" Carmen asks. "Isn't she Zayn's girlfriend?"

"Yeah, but she doesn't trust me to remember what everyone wants." He rolls his eyes. "Anyway. What do you two want?"

"Well...coffee?" I say. Carmen starts crawling over me again but I put my hands on her sides and she sits on my stomach, one leg on either side. Blood rushes to a certain area and she blushes, her hands still wrapped around my wrists. Neither of us says anything until Niall coughs awkwardly.

"Where are you going?" I ask finally.

"I thought I would help them get coffee and stuff," she explains. "If we go to my cafe Marla will give me a discount."

"You're coming," Niall says, pointing to Carmen. "I'll go tell Mel. We're leaving in two minutes."

He walks out and Carmen and I stay where we are for a few seconds. She releases my wrists then and with my hands free I have no idea what to do with him. I want to touch her obviously but we're not supposed to be doing that kind of thing. This kind of thing.

"Do you want one of those breakfast sandwiches?" she asks quietly. I nod and she tucks her hair behind her ear. "Okay."

"Do you want me to go?" My voice cracks halfway through because I'm so fucking nervous.

"No, it's fine." She lifts herself of me and searches the floor, eventually coming up with her pants. After she's done buttoning them up she holds my shirt in her one hand. "Do you mind if I wear this?"

"No, go ahead."

"Thanks."

She runs her fingers through her hair and pulls it back into a ponytail. My heart is literally pounding. I think I have issues. She smiles and grabs her phone before walking out of my room. She feels weird. No doubt about it. I feel fucking weird. How do I still get so nervous around her? We've known each other for months now, how is it still happening?

I quickly shower and head downstairs in some joggers. Louis and Ivy are already watching a movie and they both look like hell. Liam is sitting on the opposite couch and the sight of him makes my blood boil. Carmen was upset because of him and after what she told me I could almost guarantee that he's into her. That's the last thing that I need.

"There's the birthday boy," Louis says. "How hung over are you?"

"Not very. You look like shit, though."

"That's so nice of you," he says sarcastically. "I hope you had fun sleeping alone last night."

I just laugh and sit down in the disgusting chair I hate to sit in. I think Niall's had sex on this chair like eight hundred times, it's not okay. But I'm not sitting with Liam. But this sucks because now when everyone comes back Carmen can't sit with me.

Zayn comes down next and sits beside Liam. Why wouldn't he go with Mel? I want to fucking go everywhere with Carmen.

I think I have problems.

A while later the missing three come walking through the door with hands full of coffee cups and paper bags. Everything gets put on the coffee table and cups are handed out with cookies and muffins and other stuff. Niall sits on the couch with Louis and Ivy and Mel sits with Zayn, obviously. Louis examines Carmen for a minute and when he realizes she's wearing my shirt his eyes go wide and he looks at me. I shrug and smile. Yep. I was not alone last night. We didn't do anything, but still.

"Here." She hands me a wrapped sandwich and a coffee cup. "They didn't have the ham one you like so I go the bacon one."

"Thanks."

She smiles and takes her own share of the food, then not hesitating to climb onto my chair and sit on the armrest, her feet on the other side of my legs. She leans sideways against the back and smiles at me.

"What are we watching?" she asks.

"Miss Congeniality," Louis says, shaking his head. "Ivy forced me."

"It's good," she says, leaning into his side. He puts an arm around her shoulder and I get a little twinge in my chest. Jealousy, maybe. Just a little. When I look up at Carmen she's already looking at me, but when I catch her she looks at the TV.

This sucks.

---

"Stop!" Nothing works with this girl. "Carmen, come on. You're making a huge mess!"

"You're a baby sometimes."

She giggles and dumps whatever flour she needs into the bowl. Carmen can't do anything in a kitchen and back home I worked in this tiny bakery. I was fifteen or sixteen when I started, but I learned a few things. But she's hopeless. And making a giant mess.

It's weird. Me and Carmen have never had an easy relationship, but just being around her makes me feel good. Even when I can't touch her and kiss her the way I want to right now, when she's got flour on her nose I still just want to look at her. Being close to her, that's enough. She seems happy, too. That's what I love the most; in moments like these when we're just doing random shit she seems content. That side of Carmen doesn't come out a lot.

I want her to be happy. I want her to find who she is and find out for herself how incredibly strong and beautiful she is. She doesn't see it yet, but I do. And I want to make her see it.

"What?" She bumps her hip against mine. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Sorry." I look down at the bowl in front of me and she peers into it. "Do you want to mix?"

"Aren't there appliances that do this?" she asks, taking the bowl and spoon from my hands.

"Don't be lazy."

"I'm not lazy. But we would have cookies a lot faster." This kitchen is an absolute disaster. While she's doing that I put some of the stuff back in the cupboards. "Did you have fun last night?"

"I think so." She laughs and I shrug. "If I don't remember I'm just going to go with yes."

"That's good."

"Yeah. I didn't like that Travis was there." As soon as I say it she sighs; she obviously knows what I mean. "You have to admit that he's a douche."

"Why does it matter?" she asks, tilting her head a little. "Who cares if he's like that?"

"I do. He likes you."

She laughs. "Okay, Harry."

"I'm serious."

"I know you are."

"Then why are you laughing?" She shrugs and smiles down at the bowl in front of her. "You can't go out with him."

"Excuse me?" she says immediately, eyebrows shooting up as she sets the bowl down. "Can't? You're actually telling me not to talk to him?"

"Do you want to go out with him?"

"No, but I should have the right to if I did."

My arms fold over my chest and I lean against the counter near her. This is confusing. "So you don't want to go out with him but you don't want me to tell you not to?"

"Exactly. I didn't tell you not to go out with Nicole. I even said you should be dating other girls," she says. "So what gives you the right to tell me who to spend my time with?"

"Because he's an absolute asshole that just wants to get in your pants!" I exclaim. She scoffs.

"Right. Because you can read minds."

"He spent the entire night trying to talk to you!"

"You mean before or after I made out with you?" she fires back.

"I just don't want you around him! He's not a good person and I don't want him near you."

"You're being so ridiculous right now, Harry."

"If you don't like him why can't you just say you won't talk to him again?" I ask, putting one hand out to the side. "If you don't want to anyway it's not that hard to say."

"I shouldn't have to say it." So fucking difficult. "First of all, you don't get a say. Second, you should know me way better than this. If I was going to sleep with someone I would have done it already."

"Somehow that doesn't make me feel better." She shakes her head and turns around, walking away from me completely. "Where are you going?"

"I'm not interested in someone trying to control me, Harry. I'm a big girl, I've been taking care of myself for a long time," she says bitterly. "This is just annoying."

"Why is me trying to protect you a bad thing?" I ask, following her to the door. At this point I notice Zayn, Mel and Niall all sitting in the living room. "Carmen, come on."

"No, Harry." She slides her boots and and puts her jacket over her arms. She's still got things in my room and she's just leaving? "Protecting me isn't a bad thing. Being a petty, jealous, controlling asshole when you're not even my boyfriend is a bad thing."

"Alright fine. I'm sorry." She looks up at me with a stern expression and I slide my hands into my pockets. "You don't have to go."

"Are you saying sorry because you're admitting you were wrong or so that I stay?"

"I'm sensing there's only one right answer to that question."

"Do you realize how ridiculous this is?" she asks loudly. "We're not even together and we're fighting like a fucking couple. That's not okay with me."

"It's not like it happens all the time!" I defend. This is just one instance where we're disagreeing. Carmen shakes her head and turns to the door. "Carmen, you're being dramatic."

"Oh," she says, laughing humourlessly. "I'm being dramatic now. I suppose you have a fix for that, too? Maybe some more rules for me to follow?"

"Holy fuck," I mutter, rubbing my hands over my face. "You are so infuriating sometimes."

"Now it's my fault," she says. She opens the door and steps onto the porch. "Bye, Harry."

"Yeah, whatever."

The door slams shut quite loudly and without thinking I kick whatever shoe is closest against it. It's not that horrible for me to want to keep him away. It's not that horrible to want to protect Carmen.

"You're so dumb," Mel says from the couch.

"How was that my fault?"

"Because it was."

Whatever. She's being difficult and okay, maybe I went a little over the line but only because I like her. I fucking love her, doesn't that give me the right to say something?

Fuck.

Notes

oh harry. and carmen.
problems in paradise.

loved the comments last time :) juices are flowing with this story so ive updated a lot lately :/