Harry's POV

Fuck. Me. Seriously, this is not okay. Carmen goes to all this trouble to throw this party and she looks so fucking hot. She's got these pants that come up an inch or two below her belly button but her top doesn't start until an inch or two above it and I've been adjusting myself all night to avoid a really embarrassing situation. I love that she did this for me, I really do, but with the way she's looking I would much rather be alone with her right now.

"Harry!"

"Hmm?" I look back at Zayn and he laughs, his arm around Mel's waist. She shakes her head at me. "What did you say?"

"I can't watch you drool over her anymore," Mel says. "It's actually painful. Why can't you just go over there and kiss her?"

"Because we're friends and I can't."

"She's been staring at you just as much."

"She has?" I ask, smiling like a fucking twat. Mel rolls her eyes.

"Everyone knows you two still like each other," Zayn says. "What's the point of this friend thing?"

"The point is...it's to...fuck, I don't know but it's going good so I'm not fucking it up."

"Who's she talking to?" Mel asks, standing on her tiptoes to try to overcome her incredible shortness.

"I don't-" Oh fuck no. "That's fucking Travis."

"Travis Dealey? The basketball player?"

"That's the one."

"How does she know him?"

"Something about tampons," I mutter. They both stare at me like I have two heads. "I don't know."

Before they can ask more questions I'm wading through the giant crowd of people to get to her. Travis comes into my sight and my blood starts to boil a tiny bit. He's a douchebag and one of the biggest players I know. It couldn't have been him buying shit for his girlfriend because the closest Travis gets to girlfriends is one night stands. And by the way he's looking at Carmen right now I know exactly who he wants his next one to be.

"Hey!" Carmen says when I walk up to her. My arms slides around her shoulder and despite what's probably wise I kiss her cheek. "Wow, okay. Hi?"

"This is great," I tell her. "Thanks for the party."

"It's not lame?" she asks, crinkling up her nose.

"No! It's definitely not lame. Everyone's having fun."

"Good." She smiles and looks at Travis. Fucking Travis. "Harry, you know Travis, right?"

"Yeah, we know each other," he says. "Happy birthday, man."

"I'm sure that's why you're here," I say sarcastically, keeping my arm around Carmen. He smiles his dickweed smile and I want to drag Carmen away from this tool. Why is she even talking to him anyway?

"I need to talk to you about something," I tell Carmen. "Alone."

"Umm..okay. Sorry, Travis."

"Come find me later," he says. She smiles at him and I cover her hand with mine to tug her away. She's not going to finding him fucking later. Fuck.

"Harry, what's going on?" she asks. I pull her upstairs without a word and take out the key to my bedroom. There's people up here making out and trying to get into rooms but we all have locks for that very reason. As soon as it's open I tug her inside, shutting the door and not bothering with the lights. My breathing is heavy and suddenly I don't know what I'm doing.

"Are you okay?" she asks quietly. If I'm not mistaken she's breathing almost as rapidly as I am. She doesn't seem to want to turn the lights on either. Somehow that makes it easier I guess. I don't know what we're making easier exactly, but still.

"I don't want you to talk to him," I admit quietly. The overwhelming silence in this room doesn't mask any of my words. Somehow the party seems like it's in another world.

"Okay," she says in a small voice.

"He wants to sleep with you."

"So?"

"That makes him-"

"Harry," she says. She places her hands on my chest and it jumpstarts my heart. "I said okay."

"Okay."

"Yeah," she whispers. Her hands fall a little lower, like she wants to drop them. She doesn't, though. I can feel heat from her body but I'm scared to do anything, to move at all.

"How much have you had to drink?" I ask quietly. I've had...well, I've had a bit. I'm on the road to being drunk but this little situation is sobering me up pretty fast.

"A lot," she says. "Niall made me do shots with him."

"Maybe we should go back downstairs." But I don't want to go anywhere. I want to stay here and kiss her forever. And even that wouldn't be enough time. I know I said I would wait until she's in a better place to do all of this again but fuck. Why did I ever say that?

"Maybe just a few more minutes," she says quietly. I nod my head even though she can't see me and my mind starts going blank when she moves closer to me. My back is still against the door but I wouldn't be trying to move away anyway because everyone knows I don't want to. If says stay then that's what I'm going to do.

"What are you thinking about?" My fingers trail along her bare arm and I think I feel her shudder.

"I'm trying to remember what it's like to kiss you."

Well that was honest.

"You forget already?" There's a small smile on my face but I'm nervous as fuck right now. Like...what's happening?

"I don't think so," she says pensively. "But I can't be sure."

"I don't like that," I admit. She sighs and her body leans more into mine.

"Then do something about it."

There's a surge of heat through my body when our lips touch and the gentle stage of the kiss ends quite quickly. It's rough and desperate and all the tension from the last two months is being poured into this kiss. I start stumbling forward while she tugs hard on the front of my shirt. We end up hitting another wall, this time her back pressed against it. Her arms wrap around my neck and I lift her off the floor the same way I have so many times before. This feeling of her lips on my lips, it's not something I could forget, but it was starting to fade a little bit. I always knew that I loved kissing Carmen, but I kind of started to forget just how amazing it felt. It's fucking incredible.

"Okay, wait. Wait." One of her hands rests on my shoulder and the other pushes her hair from her face. Did that just happen?

"Okay," I agree. She just stares at me for a minute and then she keeps kissing me, her hands knotted tight into my hair and my own roaming the skin under her top. When I turn to walk to the bed it's closer than I'd realized and I trip forward, falling full force on top of Carmen. I grunt a little and she just laughs.

"Fuck, sorry," I say. She shakes her head and lifts her head a little to reattach our lips. She tastes like rum and peppermint and it's the best thing ever. She moans quietly and I feel her squirming around a little and I feel like maybe we should stop. But I don't want to stop ever.

"Wait," Carmen says again. Well fuck.

"Yeah." My hair falls in front of my face and she smiles, running her fingers through it. I guess it's getting a tad long.

"This probably isn't a really good idea," she says quietly.

"Probably not."

"So...maybe we should stop."

"Okay." Not okay. After another moment I slowly get up so I'm not on top of her anymore. I lean back against the wall and close my eyes, taking deep breaths to try to calm down a little. That probably was actually a really bad idea, but it felt pretty damn good.

"Or maybe...." My eyes shoot open and she's sitting on the edge of my bed, lip between her teeth while she contemplates for a minute. "Maybe just a few more minutes."

"Yeah?" A smirk spreads on my lips and it makes me really fucking happy that she's having as hard of a time as I am. Maybe that's not good for me to think, but it's nice to know I'm not the only one losing my mind.

"Yeah. We'll just get really drunk so we don't remember it tomorrow and then it won't be weird."

"That's a plan." She crawls back on the bed and in seconds I'm on top of her again and kissing her so hard it's almost painful. But if I only get a few minutes I'm going to make them fucking great.

---

Walking down the stairs is honestly a bit of a chore because after that 'few minutes' my legs feel weak and my head is spinning. It wasn't exactly a few minutes...I'm not really sure how long we were up there for. But there's even more people in the house now so oh well. I stop a few steps from the bottom and turn to see if Carmen is following me. She exits my bedroom as I look up the stairs and locks it with the key I just gave her, coming down as I tie my hair into a bun.

"What?" I ask as she starts laughing. Her hand reaches out to me and she starts wiping something from above my lips.

"Lipstick," she says. Our eyes lock and she drops her hand. "You're good."

"Thanks."

Carmen sighs and steps around me, making her way through the crowd and to the kitchen. I lean back against the wall and just watch her go. This sucks. I want to be able to kiss her all the time, not just at parties when we can get drunk enough to forget it happened. Which I am not doing, by the way.

"Harry, there you are!"

Louis and Niall come stumbling over to the bottom of the stairs and I make my way to the bottom. "Hey guys."

"Where have you been? You were talking to Zayn and we couldn't find you for like forty-five minutes."

"Forty-five minutes?" I ask, my eyes wide. Well that's a lot longer than a few. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah....why?" Louis narrows his eyes at me and I shrug, looking away from him. "Where did you go?"

"Nowhere."

"Harry tell us what you did."

"Nothing!" Lies. All lies.

"You fucked someone!" Niall says, punching my arm.

"No, I didn't!" Too defensive, Harry. "I didn't sleep with anyone, really."

"You did something," Louis says. "Tell us."

"No," I laugh. I don't think Carmen would want me to tell them. They'll blab to everyone.

"Fine. Let's play beer pong or something."

"Yeah, okay."

We go to the kitchen to get ourselves some drinks and sure enough, Carmen is there. My heart starts racing a little bit, but my fists clench up when I see someone making his way over to her. Fucking Travis. She's talking to Ivy and it scares the shit out of her when he taps her shoulder, but she laughs it off and he beams like a fucking little girl. What's wrong with him?

"Mate, let's go," Louis says.

"No, I need to stay here."

"Why?" He follows my gaze to Carmen and rolls his eyes. "You're annoying."

"Ivy is with them, let's just go over there for a minute."

"Why," he whines.

"Because, Lou. He's a dick and he keeps talking to her and I don't like it."

When we get over to the girls Louis wraps his arms around Ivy and my eyes are on Carmen, watching as she watches them with a small smile on her face. I'm the subject of her gaze next, but only for a second before she drops her eyes to her cup. I lean against the counter next to her, our arms touching when I cross mine over my chest.

"Harry, do you play any sports?" Travis asks. "Varsity, I mean."

"No."

"Too bad."

"Why?" I ask sarcastically. "Am I missing out on creeping on the girls' volleyball team with a bunch of horny-"

"Harry," Carmen says.

"Wow," Travis laughs. Fucking laughs. "Am I missing something?"

"Probably lots of things."

"Harry," Carmen says again. "What are you doing?"

"Hang on." Travis stands up straight sort of in front of us and points back and forth between Carmen and me. "Are you guys together?"

"No," Carmen says quietly. I look at her and she meets my eyes for a second or two before taking a long swig of her drink. Maybe not technically, but that doesn't give this idiot any room to go after her. There's no way that's happening. Not ever in a million years.

"Harry's just like this with all his friends then?" Travis asks.

"It's none of your fucking business," I spit. Travis laughs and Carmen sighs, shaking her head again and walking away from both of us. I can talk to her tomorrow, but as long as she's no where near this guy. "Stay away from her, Trav. I mean it."

"Why?" he asks, laughing again.

"Because she's way out of your league."

"Or because you're into her."

"Just stop trying," I tell him, standing up straight. He's got this stupid smirk on his mouth and I feel like telling him she's off limits is a big mistake. "I know you're trying to get in her pants. There's fifty other girls at this party, go for one of them."

"Carmen is way hotter, though."

"Fuck off."

"Harry," Louis says beside me. "Calm down."

"Yeah, Harry. Calm down."

"Shut the fuck up," I half-shout at him. He laughs again and walks away from me. Good choice. He may be taller than me but he's a scrawny wimp.

"Harry," Ivy says, "You have issues."

"It doesn't bother me."

She shakes her head. and pulls Louis off somewhere. Maybe I am acting crazy, but I just had my first step forward with Carmen in months and I'm not letting that get ruined by some arrogant jock with his head up his ass. Not that Carmen would even sleep with him, but still. Nothing is getting between us this time.

Notes

oooooooooooooooooo yaaaaay :)
parties are a good thing. sometimes.

jealous harry is one of my favourites. he kind of acts like a dick but its cute all the same.

seriously, though, writing on this site is slowly killing me. I always lose my stuff half way through and its the woooooorst thing ever. ever.

i feel like i have so many ghost readers right now :( so many of you guys used to comment and now you don't anymore!! its sad :(