Carmen's POV

"Nothing happened? Like...literally nothing?"

I roll my eyes at Liam and walk into our psychology lecture. "No, Liam. He walked me home and that was it."

"Weird."

"Why?"

"Because...I don't know. You've both been depressed since you broke up, so I though at least one of you would take advantage of the alone time."

"Liam, I was wasted off my ass," I remind him. "Harry was sober. He wouldn't do that."

"Do you not remember how you met him?"

"We were both drunk. Different situation."

He just laughs as the prof comes in to start the class. More than one of my friends have been confused about what happened with me and Harry over the weekend. I miss him like crazy, but he was right to end things. Before we can actually be together without all the extra bull shit I need to figure my own stuff out. Like my issues with my parents and how to let Harry into my life completely. Because at this point, it's impossible for me to be all in. And I want to be with him. I just don't know how.

When I saw him talking to Nicole it was...it was like being punched in the stomach, really. They weren't even doing anything, but the way he smiled at her was just too familiar. It wasn't a polite smile, he was genuinely happy to be talking to her. I've met her a bunch of times because of Ivy; she's a little rebellious, but she's definitely not a bad person. I would love to be able to warn Harry about her, tell him she's bad news and to stay away. Unfortunately I would be a really bad person and a liar.

I'm over reacting, obviously. They had like a five minute conversation before Harry came to 'rescue' me from dancing on that table. I don't want to fucking look into the reasons behind that mistake, but let's just say that I'm glad Harry came inside and carried me out of there. Literally. I kind of thought I'd get a little more time to figure things out before he moved on. I don't even know if he's moving on, but who wouldn't if Nicole was the option? She's gorgeous and easy-going. Completely Harry's type.

"Carmen."

I look up at Liam, standing beside me while the rest of the class files out of the room. Apparently class is over, and when I look at the empty piece of paper in front of me it's clear that I have a problem here.

"Sorry," I mutter. "Let's go."

After class Liam tells me about the latest drama with Talia; they've fallen into an annoying cycle of being friends, sleeping together, having a fight, ignoring each other, making up, and doing it all over again. It's getting tiring; I have a lot of stress from my own relationship and Liam's is adding to it. Their problem has a simple solution; if it doesn't work and you're not happy, don't do it. If it does and you are, then be together. In between the two sucks. I would know.

When we get to the little cafe near where most of my classes are to get coffee, a familiar beanie-covered head catches my eye in the corner. For once there's books in front of him instead of his phone or something not school related. Across from him, though, is someone not school related.

"Shit. Liam, don't look over by the wall, okay?"

"Why?" He turns and I smack his arm.

"I said don't look!" I whisper-shout. "Okay just...just be quick about this."

"I can't make them take my order any faster, Carmen."

"Liam," I groan.

"Okay I don't have to look to know it's Harry, but why aren't we letting him know that we're here?" he asks, finally at the front of the line.

"He's with Nicole," I tell him. His eyes go wide and he turns around to look again, resulting in another smack.

"Stop doing that!" he says loudly.

"Shut up!"

"Carmen?"

"Fuck," I breathe. I glare at Liam and turn around towards Harry, who called my name. His eyes are wide, nervous, as he quickly glances at Nicole and then back at me. "Hey, Harry."

He says something to Nicole and gets up to come over to us. "Hey I umm...what are you doing here?"

"I go here," I remind him. He pushes his fingers through his long hair, a nervous action.

"I know...look, this isn't- it's not what it looks like," he says quickly. "She came to get coffee and I was already here, so-"

"Harry, you don't have to explain."

"I feel like I should, though."

"You don't have to," I repeat, quieter this time. Liam comes over with his drink and hands one to me. "Thanks."

"Hey, Harry," Liam says. "Carms, we should get going."

"We should," I repeat, almost phrasing it as a question. I don't have anything until practice, so I don't know where we have to go.

"Okay," Harry says. Our eyes lock for a moment and my legs feel like rock under me, unable and too heavy to move. "Actually, can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Umm.." I look at Liam and he shrugs. "Okay. Sure."

He leads me away from the little cafe and around the corner so neither of the people we're with can see us. Being alone with Harry isn't on my list of things I feel comfortable doing. Simply put, I don't trust myself with him. I'll say the wrong thing and make it too uncomfortable for of us to be in the same room.

"I'm really not with Nicole," he says quietly.

"I believe you."

"I know if I saw you with someone I would be much less than happy about it, so I thought..." He sighs and smiles half-heartedly. "I don't know."

"Harry, it's fine. Really, I'm okay." Lie.

"Okay," he agrees. "I called my sister, by the way. I told her not to bug you anymore."

"She wasn't bothering me."

"Well, either way."

"Right." He stares at me like he's waiting for something, and the nervous churn in my stomach continues until I break the eye contact. "Liam is waiting, so.."

"Yeah. I should get...yeah."

"Okay." Never have there been more awkward pauses between us than in this conversation right now. "See you around, Harry."

"Would it be weird if it was on purpose?" he asks quietly. "Like...if we hung out?"

"What?" I ask incredulously. Wasn't the point of this to...what? What is he- what?

"As friends," he clarifies. "Would that be weird?"

"No...not weird," I say carefully. "But I don't know what that even means."

He laughs and shrugs, sliding his fingers into the tight pockets of his jeans. "Me neither. We were never really friends before, we just kind of...yeah. It's fine if you don't want to."

"It's not that, Harry."

"You just hate me."

"No," I laugh. As if I could hate him. "I guess we could."

"Yeah?" he asks, smiling at me. The hopeful light in his eyes makes me so happy but so nervous. I don't want to give him hope when nothing has been solved.

"With the other boys," I add suddenly. His smile fades slightly and my heart pinches. "Just so...so it's...so we're not..."

"Carmen," he says lowly. He takes a tiny step closer and cocks his head to the side. "Are you trying to avoid being alone with me?"

My heart starts pounding and I hope he can't hear the increase in the rate of my breathing. He knows exactly what he does to me, he doesn't need physical evidence. His crooked smile makes my knees feel week and he sighs.

"This sucks," he mutters, mostly to himself. "So, I guess I'll just text you or something."

"Okay."

"Okay. See you later."

I nod and watch him walk away, a quick exchange made with Liam before he goes back to the table where Nicole is still waiting for him. I really want to be able to hate her. Liam looks at them for a minute then makes his way to me.

"She's so hot," he says quietly, looking at her over his shoulder again. My fist connects with his chest. "Stop hitting me!"

"Stop being annoying." I smile falsely at him and turn to keep walking.

"You're definitely way hotter," he says, draping his arm around my shoulder and giving me an encouraging squeeze. "Harry has a thing for blondes, anyway."

"You're not helping."

"Why don't I try to date her, that way he can't."

"Liam, why do you think I won't punch you again?"

"Oh, I know you will. That's why I'm trying to make you feel better," he explains, laughing a little. "It's not working is it?"

"No," I breathe. Seeing Harry with someone else...I never thought about what'd happen if I actually lost him, if he really started seeing someone else. The thought never crossed my mind until Nicole came into the picture, and now I can't stop wondering how the hell I'm going to keep that from happening.

Notes

i really just did this so i can get back to harry's pov :P his is more important right now for me for some reason...so i might skip over carmen's for a few chapters. would you guys be cool with that??

let me know what you think plz :)