Harry's POV

It's been three days since my fight with Carmen and it's also been three days since I've seen or spoke to her. I tried calling her the next day, like I said that I would, but she didn't answer and all of my texts but one have gone ignored. It's been a while since we've gone this long without talking, and there's not one part of me that doesn't miss her. It's this hollow ache in my chest that never seems to go away. Today I've given up; I have't tried calling her all day because I can't take her ignoring me anymore.

We've started classes and she's started volleyball again; today I can't wait anymore. I need to go see her and the only way to do that is to go to her practice today. It's not until seven tonight and my class ends way before that, but it doesn't matter. fighting like this is ridiculous. We're both upset, but I don't even remember what I'm mad about. All I know is it all started when I asked about her mother. Apart from that, I have no idea anymore. Obviously we have some things to discuss, we're not angry for no reason, but I can't remember what they actually are.

"Harry?"

I look up from my phone and find Lily sliding into the seat beside me on my small four-person table in the cafeteria.

"Hey, Lil." I set my phone down. "What's up?"

"What are you doing here all by yourself? Don't you have a girlfriend to keep you company these days?"

I laugh nervously and look at the table, picking at my fingernails. "Yeah, I guess."

"Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?" she asks.

"Maybe a little."

"What happened?"

"Good question. Everything was fine...I don't know, we had a stupid fight." My fingers push through my hair. "Hang on, have you met Carmen?"

"No, I haven't. I think I've seen her around campus, but we've never met. Are you waiting for her right now?" She looks around the caf and I shake my head.

"No, she's...I don't know what she's doing right now, actually."

"Isn't she on the hockey team or something?"

"Volleyball."

"Oh, well maybe she's at the gym. You should go talk to her."

"That's a fantastic idea. I hadn't thought of that," I say sarcastically. She laughs and shakes her head and for once I'm actually smiling. Is it a bad thing that there aren't many people besides Carmen that make me smile anymore?

"You look like a lost puppy sitting here alone."

"Well I am no longer alone, am I?"

"I don't count. Plus, didn't your girlfriend think we were together or something? She probably doesn't like me," she says, leaning her chin on her palm.

"Yeah, probably not."

"Hey!" she laugh, hitting my arm. "You could at least lie for the sake of my feelings."

"You're not all that delicate."

"What the hell is this?"

We both spin around to the voice, and as soon as I see Carmen a smile spreads across my face. She stares at Lily with a suspicious and slightly disgusted look on her face, and when her eyes finally float to mine I realize why she looks pissed. I look at Lily and the back to her, shaking my head and standing from my seat.

"No, don't go there." When I get to her and place my hand on her arm she moves away, folding her arms over her chest. "We were just-"

"I could see what you were doing," she spits, cutting me off.

"You're Carmen, right?" Lily stands and walks over to us, holding her hand out. Carmen stares at her for a few seconds before shaking it. "I'm Lily."

"Yeah, I know," Carmen says quietly. She looks at me again and opens her mouth to say something, but apparently decides against it and shuts it again, adjusting the strap of her bag. Her volleyball bag?

"Isn't your practice a few hours from now?" I ask, pointing to it.

"I'm going early to train with Austin."

"You're what? You're spending an extra-" I look at my watch, eyes widening, "Two hours with him?"

"Yep." She smiles quite falsely. "We've both got our own friends."

"Oh perfect. You're seriously getting back at me by spending time with that arrogant piece of shit?"

"You're ridiculous," she mutters stepping past us. I watch her walk away with my hands balled into fists and Lily puts her hand on my arm.

"Breathe," she reminds me. "And don't be an asshole."

"What?"

"You're acting like a jealous douche," she says, patting my arm and getting her bag from the table. "Most girls don't like that, and Carmen seems quite opposed."

"I've had girlfriends before, but-"

"I know," she laughs. "You've had plenty."

"Watch it," I warn jokingly, pointing a finger. "My point is, regardless of my...experience, I have no idea how to handle Carmen."

"Clearly. You'll be fine, you just need to talk to her like a normal person."

"That's the worst fuckin' advice I've ever been given."

She laughs and starts walking the other way. "Good luck!"

After she's gone immediately my feet are heading for the gym without even having to think about it. Fighting with Carmen is annoying as hell, mostly because when I know she's upset with me it's all I can think about. When she's not around and we're not fighting she's all I can think about, but when I know she's pissed it's ten time worse because when she's alone she thinks way too much and that could be bad for me. For us. I'm not losing her over something stupid like this. I need to stop being so scared of scaring her off and start saying how I feel.

When I get to the gym she's already in there, hitting a ball against the ground so it bounces off the wall and continually comes back to her. She really is impressive. Her coordination-

Focus.

I push through the doors and she stops hitting the ball, and when she looks at me I can see her take a deep breath. Neither of us says anything for a minute and she bounces the ball a few times.

"Why haven't you called me back?" I ask quietly. She sighs. "No, sorry. That's not what I wanted to say."

"Did you want to say you're breaking up with me for Lily?"

"What?"

Carmen sighs again and shakes her head, walking towards the court. "Nevermind. I don't want to talk about this right now."

"Carmen, come on. We haven't talked in three days." I walk behind her as she tries to get away from me. "You have to talk to me sometime."

"I don't have to talk to you right this second," she bites back. She spins around and holds her hand out. "Just stop, Harry. I know you want to talk, it's pretty obvious with the millions of times you've called me in the last few days."

Ouch. "Sorry for wanting to talk to my girlfriend. I thought that was normal for some reason."

"I don't think-"

The doors slam shut again and we both look at Austin, now walking towards us. Fucking Austin. Carmen sighs and my hands clench into fists; can't he see that we're talking?

"Ready?" he asks Carmen, stopping beside her. He looks at me and nods. "Hey."

"Yeah, whatever. Carmen, we need to talk about this," I say, looking at her again. She looks away from both of us and bites her lip. She's not getting out of this. "I don't give a fuck if he's here, we're going to talk about something."

"Don't be a dick, Harry," she says. "We're not doing this right now."

"Can we have a minute?" I ask, looking at Austin. He looks at Carmen and nods, turning and walking away from us. When I look back at Carmen she's shaking her head. "What?"

"You can't just do that!"

"Do what?" She scoffs and turns around, rubbing her hands over her face. "I get it, you don't want to talk now. Can we at least talk later? We can get coffee after your practice or you can come over or something."

"I have homework," she mumbles, bouncing the ball in front of her.

"It's the third day of classes," I remind her. There's no way she has enough homework to blow me off. "Carmen, please. You can't avoid me forever."

"Alright," she says finally. "Fine. I'll come over when I'm done here."

"Okay," I breathe. She looks up at me finally, straight into my eyes. "Good."

"Sure." She rolls her eyes and walks past me again. "I guess I'll see you later."

Now we've got that fucking sass on top of everything else. She really knows how to push my buttons, that girl. Couldn't live without her, though.

---

Almost midnight. Fucking midnight and Carmen still hasn't showed up. Her practice ended three hours ago and I haven't heard one single thing from her; no call, no text. Nothing. To say I'm pissed off would be a major understatement. Normally when she does something like this I get scared as hell because it means she's probably trying to get away from me, but now I'm just mad. We're not in high school, we aren't kids anymore. Why can't we just fight like fucking normal adults?

Oh that's right, because we're dysfunctional as fuck. Is this insane? Is it going to be like this all the time? I love Carmen, but this is a little ridiculous. I need to know if she's in or not because I'm not going to pine after her until we die or she finds someone else. Fuck. I've never thought this much about something, almost to the point of anxiety.

I don't want to lose her, that's actually the last thing I want, but sometimes this relationship seems like it's doomed to fail.

Notes

sorry its been a long time :( im just kind of deciding where to take this next...getting tricky for little old me.

let me know what you think :) im lacking inspiration so i would looooove some suggestions to help me out :)

thanks guyss