Harry's POV

I watch Carmen step away from me and walk around the small room. The walls are dark grey and it makes her blonde hair stand out even more. Her fingers graze one of the shelves on my bookcase, which is full of books, pictures, and other random shit that I don't even know what to do with. She takes out one book and flips open the cover, and before I can tell her what it is she's putting it back. She takes a brief glance at my desk and moves onto the next wall, which holds my guitars. She looks at me with raised eyebrows and I just shrug, taking a bite of my pizza. She gently strums one of them and then moves on, sitting on the bed along to wall in front of me. She lays on her back, her head on my pillow. I just have the one. Her bed, however, has like eight million decorative pillows. It's comfortable, I'll admit, but it's unnecessary.

"Please make yourself comfortable. It's not like we have studying to do," I tease. I go to my desk and dig through the drawers to try to find my stats textbook. I tried selling them sometimes, but I never really cared enough.

"Please. You do this every time you come to my house."

"Okay, that's true. But still." I pull out the textbook and try to calm myself at the sight of her laying on my bed, her hair sprawled out on my pillow. I didn't think her just being in my room would turn me on, but apparently I was wrong.

"I don't really want to study," she says, sitting up against the wall. "Can't we just do something else?"

I can think of a few things. "You don't want to fail, though."

"I don't think I'll fail. I'll get the k-test thing wrong and pass the rest." She shrugs and I laugh. "What?"

"It's the z-test." I bring my book to the bed and sit next to her against the wall. "And isn't it kind of important to get good grades? I think someone told me that once."

"All my Dad said before he left was not to skip class and to eat lots of leafy greens," she says. She looks at me and laughs at my confusion. "I don't know."

"Speaking of that, can I ask you something?" She nods and I toss the book to the end of the bed past my feet. "Why doesn't Liam know about your Dad?"

"You mean that I have one?" I nudge her leg with mine and she laughs a little, slouching down against the wall. "I don't know, I just never told him."

"Why? You guys are pretty close."

"Yeah..there's just stuff I don't like to talk about." She picks at her nails nonchalantly, but I can tell that she doesn't feel comfortable talking about this either.

"Carmen." I nudge her elbow with mine and she looks up at me. "Liam is your best friend. Why not tell him?"

"I just..." she sighs and sits up with her legs criss-crossed so she's facing me. "My dad is like all I have, you know? He's just mine and I like that. Liam has met him a few times, but I didn't want them to spend time together. I don't want anyone in that part of my life and when he came this time I didn't really want to tell Liam."

"I get that. He's not around and you want his attention. But why not tell Liam he's in the army?" Secretly I'm ecstatic that she didn't really answer my question because she said she doesn't want anyone spending time with him. But she let me spend time with them. Not Liam, me.

"I didn't tell him the first time and after that it just felt weird to mention randomly. Like by the way, my Dad is in the military. Plus, he's Liam, you know?"

"I don't follow," I say, shaking my head. "Liam is..."

"He worries. He fixes people. He likes to take care of people." She tucks her hair behind her ears and lets out a frustrated sigh. "He tries to do it with me and sometimes I love him for it, but sometimes I just want to slap him and tell him to be my friend and not my parent, you know? If he knew my Dad was across the world fighting in a war he'd worry all the time and he'd always be asking me if I'm okay or if I need anything."

"You let me hang out with him," I remind her. "And you told me about his job."

"Because I knew you wouldn't make me talk about it," she says. She smiles at me nervously. "I knew we could all spend time together where his job wouldn't matter, that you wouldn't pity me or something like that." She leans forward and her fingertips trace the rose near my elbow.

"Oh, I pity you." She laughs at my joke and shakes her head. "I pity you for not being able to jump that high."

"Watch it," she warns, slapping my arm. I rub the spot of her playful assault. "I can jump way higher than you can."

"Is that a challenge?"

"No. It's fact."

I raise my eyebrows. "Fine then." I stand and she squeals when I start jumping on the bed. "Prove it!"

"Harry, stop! You're going to hit the ceiling!" She laughs and moves towards the wall again.

"I'm winning," I shout. My bed feels like it might break, but I'm not stopping until she joins me. She stares up at me and eventually rolls her eyes. I know what that means.

Carmen stands and starts jumping with me. My bed is literally tiny, and I almost fall off a few times. She keeps laughing and holding onto my arm so she doesn't fall. For someone so athletic she doesn't have the best balance. She's all over the place.

I would like to think that I'm the only one that can bring this side out of her. In all the moments I've witnessed her and Liam, they've never laughed and had fun the way I think we do. They talk a lot and I can see that she feels completely at ease with him, but it seems like I'm the one that makes her laugh. I love that.

"Quit stomping on my pillow," I laugh. I can barely jump without hitting my head, but she has a little more freedom. She kicks it off the bed like the sassy little shit that she is and I knock her legs out from under her, knocking her flat on her back. She screams through her laughing and I fall on top of her.

"Shit, I fell."

She laughs and shakes her head. "You made me fall and then you laid on top of me."

"Hmm. I guess that's possible, but it's your word against mine." She laughs again and I dip my head to kiss her, but of course my fucking door opens. Carmen pushes at my chest, but I don't move when Louis walks in.

"You two are loud as fuck," he says, leaning against the doorframe.

"Do you need something?" I ask, wrapping my hand around Carmen's wrists so she can't shove at me anymore.

"Harry, when a girl says no it means you should stop," he says.

"She's fine." I look down at her and she rolls her eyes at me, but she's still smiling. "So do you actually need something? Or are you just being your usual annoying self."

"I came up here to study, but obviously I can't do that while you two...what the hell were you even doing?"

"Having se-" Carmen covers my mouth and I laugh against it.

"We were jumping on the bed," she says. "That's all."

"That's what they all say."

"Louis, I'm serious."

"Okay well, try to keep it down while you're 'jumping on the bed'." He uses air quotes for effect and shuts the door again, and Carmen finally uncovers my mouth.

There was a time when she didn't let me anywhere near her. The morning I woke up in her bed to her wondering what I was even doing there, it feels like another lifetime. With the way things are now it's hard to believe that most of the time we've know each other has consisted of her trying to push me away. Now it seems like I know her even better than Liam does. She tells me things she doesn't even tell him, and the amount of pride I take in being the person who knows her the best is almost terrifying.

"Anyway," I say quietly.

"He ruined the moment," she says. She smiles small and there might be a little disappointment in her tone.

"He did ruin the moment," I agree. "I'm good at making moments, though."

"Is that so?"

I nod and roll off of her, my head propped up on my hand. "Yeah, don't worry. You'll get to kiss me."

"Who says I wanted to kiss you?" she taunts. She lays on her side and copies my position.

"I did."

"Your ego is too big for your own good." She suddenly sits up and gets off the bed. "Be right back."

"Where are you going?" I ask, sitting up. I don't want her to leave.

"I'll be back," she says.

"Carmen, tell me where you're going."

She rolls her eyes. "I have to pee, okay? Do you want to come with me?"

"Oh." I smile shyly, a little embarrassed. I thought she was leaving. "No, I think you can take care of that."

She laughs and walks out of my room. Dating isn't new to me, hanging out with girls isn't new to me at all, but with Carmen it feels that way. I feel like a twelve year old trying to figure out what to do, what moves are okay to make and when. Do I make one? Does she want me to? Will she reject me? I remember the first time I kissed a girl, and hell was I nervous. After that I still felt that, I still get nervous sometimes, but it's not because I don't know what to do or that I'm afraid of rejection. It doesn't happen often, if I'm honest, so it never worried me, but Carmen is a whole other story.

I want to know what Carmen thinks about all of this. I want to know what she thinks about me. She's not sending me packing, so that's a good sign. As long as she's not pushing me away I know that I'm doing something right but she still scares the hell out of me. I've never spent this long trying to get a girl to date me. I've known her for over a month now and at least half of that time was spent with her hating me. I'm not really sure how we even got to this point, but I'm so fucking happy with where we are now. It's slow, but I like it. It feels right.

I hear the tap running in the bathroom and jump off the bed to hide behind the door. I've got to recreate a moment here, like I said. The door opens and I press to the wall.

"Harry?"

I swing the door shut and jump out at Carmen, yelling out nothing but scaring her quite effectively. She screams and I lift her into the air, her back pressed to my chest.

"Holy fuck!" she shouts. I set her down, laughing pretty hard and she turns around to smack me. "What the hell!"

"Shit, sorry. Did I scare you?" I laugh more and she shakes her head at me, trying not to laugh. When I don't stop she shoves at my chest and I let myself fall back onto the bed, her wrists held tightly in my hands. Her breath hitches and I can't help but notice how well her body fits to mine. There's nervousness in her eyes and I'm sure there's some in mine too, but that's okay.

I hook one hand around the back of her neck and lift my head to hers, our lips moulding together. She sighs against my mouth and her hands slide down my chest to either side of my abdomen. I slowly pull my body towards the top of the mattress so our legs aren't hanging off. Carmen may be tall, but she's still smaller than me and it's easy to move with her. I flip us over so I'm on top of her and she hooks one leg around mine. One arm holds me up but the other hand moves delicately along the exposed skin on her stomach. Her fingers slide into my hair and slowly but surely every movement is a little more desperate. I don't want to freak her out and I don't want to push too far, but fuck. I don't think she understands what she does to me.

"Wait, wait." She puts one hand on my chest and I can hear her rapid breathing, my forehead against hers while I try to catch my own breath.

"Sorry," I breathe. "I didn't mean-"

'No, don't apologize." She laughs nervously and I lift my head to look down inter her deep blue eyes. "I umm...I want to go slow."

I nod. "Yeah. Me too."

"It's just...this hasn't...I've never wanted..." She closes her eyes and takes a shaky breath. "This has never...it never mattered to me. Now I..."

"Carmen, I get it," I say gently, smiling down at her. "You don't have to explain."

She nods and I can see fear and uncertainty swimming in her eyes, and I can only imagine all the things going through her head right now. This girl means more to me than she understands and I don't want her to be scared, but I can see on her face that she is. The last thing in the world that I would want to do is hurt her, but for her this is new and terrifying. Honestly, it is to me too. I may have had girlfriends before, but never really anything serious and the way I feel about Carmen is scary as fuck. I raise one hand to her face and gently trace the line of her jaw with my thumb, her eyes closing at my touch.

"You look terrified," I whisper. She smiles weakly, her voice even quieter than mine when she responds.

"I am."

---

Thursday night I knock on the door to Carmen's house and not ten seconds later it swings open. One of the girls, I don't know which, lets me in.

"Carmen isn't back yet," she says. "She stayed after practice."

Of fucking course she did. With fucking Austin. "Do you mind if I wait for her?"

"Go ahead." She follows me into the kitchen and I almost start running so she can't talk to me. "It's Harry, right?"

I nod and turn around when I get to the beginning of the hallway. This is the girl from that one party that latched onto me. Carmen wasn't very nice to me that night, but when I think about it now it makes me laugh. I don't remember this girl's name, though.

"So Carmen is keeping you around, is she?" she asks, sitting on the countertop.

"Looks that way." I don't like the tone she's using right now. It makes me nervous.

She laughs a little. "Funny."

"Why's that?" I ask, folding my arms. I don't have the patience for this chick.

"Well, it's just that Carmen doesn't do that sort of thing," she says. She takes a bite of an apple and stares at me as she does it. Is this supposed to be sexy? Because it's far from that. I'm annoyed.

"I don't see why this is any of your business," I say tiredly. She hops down and I refrain from rolling my eyes at her.

"I'm sure she's told you about all the guys she's fucked," she says bluntly. My eyes go wide for a minute before I regain composure. All the guys...what the fuck? No, she...I'm confused. "Or maybe not."

I just stare at her for a minute trying to figure out if she's fucking with me. These girls are far from pleasant so I wouldn't be surprised, but I can't tell and it's freaking me out. She's got a damn good poker face, too. After about thirty seconds of me standing there like an idiot the front door opens and Carmen steps inside. She kicks her shoes off and looks up from her phone. The bright smile that spreads on her face would normally knock the air out of my lungs, but right now I have no idea what the fuck is happening.

"Hey Harry," she says. She walks past the other girl, who is still just as calm as before. "Paige...what's up?"

"Just chatting with your new boyfriend." She smiles a weird fucking smile and then turns around without another word. Carmen watches her disappear up the stairs and turns to me with a crease in her brow.

"Harry, what's wrong?" She puts her hand on my arm and I break out of my daze, which consisted of me picturing all the guys Carmen was supposedly fucking before me. "What did she say to you?"

"You've never had a boyfriend." My statement surprises her, but she doesn't seem too phased.

"You knew that," she reminds me.

I take a deep breath and try to figure out how to ask this next question without sounding like a complete asshole. Carmen waits patiently and when I don't say anything she steps in front of me, her hands on either side of my face.

"Harry. Paige, remember Paige? I told you, she likes to fuck around with people, whatever she said to you-"

"How many guys have you been with?" I blurt out. Her eyes widen and immediately I wish I could take that back. But I can't.

Notes

oh harry. had a good thing going didnt he. now he fucked up.
or did he.

i hope you guys weren't expecting something like super dramatic :P i just feel like this is super cute so i wanted to post it :P i like it when carmen gets all happy and open with harry like when she as fun, you know?

sooo i have a question :)
what's your favourite part of the story so far?

please comment guys :)

and keep voting!!!! im not going to update unless i get a few votes every time so please rate the story :)