Present.

“I ruined the evening, didn’t I?”

My hands immediately stopped moving – my whole body did, too.

I didn’t have to turn around to know that he was frowning because from the way he spoke those words, he sounded utterly frustrated with himself. Sitting in between his legs in the bathtub didn’t give me much chance to move so I reached for his cheek and leaned against his chest. A small sigh escaped my lips as I felt him relaxed under my touch and I smiled.

“You didn’t.”

This time Harry let out a sigh as he removed one of his hands from my thighs and ruffled his wet hair. I could feel the tense slowly building up in the room and I had no clue how to stop it.

His reply came barely audible. I would not have heard it if he wasn’t too close to me. “You’re not good at lying, Sky.”

Frowning, I replied. “What?”

A frustrated grunt left his lips as he shifted around in the bathtub. “Nothing. I think I’m done with the bath.” He reached for a towel and stood up, wrapping it around his hips.

“Harry..” Before I could finish my sentence, he cut me off.

“I’m fine, Sky.” He shot me a look and gave me a tight smile – the kind of smile that I had been receiving from him this lately. “Alright?”

Unable to form even a word, I nodded and watched as he slowly walked out of the bathroom. When he shut the door behind him, the temperature instantly dropped 10 degree Celsius.

He’s fine. Harry’s fine. I was fine.

*

I didn’t stay long in the bath after Harry left.

Wrapping a robe around my frame, I walked into the room and rested against the doorframe, watching him flipping through the channels – his bottom lip jutted out as he tried to find something interesting to watch, his eyelids, they drooped as if he had not had sleep in days.

I started to wonder if he actually slept or he was just lying in bed, awake.

“Come here,” his husky voice broke the silence. “Right up close to me.”

I crossed the room to get to our bed, and lay down, facing him. I saw the clock above the door and had a sense that time was running out. I took his arm and wrapped it tightly around me, threading my own arms and legs around him so that we were tightly entwined. I took his hand and wrapped my fingers in his, kissing the knuckles as I felt him squeezed mine.

His body was so familiar to me, I knew it in a way I had never known anyone’s before – the vulnerabilities, the scent, everything. I placed my face so close to his that his features became indistinct, and I began to lose myself in them. I stroked his hair, his skin, his brow, with my fingertips, my nose against his and all the time he watched me silently, studying me intently as if he were storing each molecule of me away.

He was already retreating to somewhere I couldn’t reach him.

I kissed him, trying to bring him back. I kissed him and let my lips rest against his so that our breath mingled. “Remember when we laid in this bed and you told me something that I thought you never would?”

Harry gazed down at me and slowly, almost indistinguishable, he nodded his head. “Yes.”

“It was one of the best nights of my life.” I studied our entwined fingers and brought them to my lips. “Do you remember them?”

“I do.”


“I might be in love with you,” he smiled a little, “I’m waiting until I’m sure to tell you, though.”

“That’s sensible of you,” I said, smiling too. “Maybe you should find some paper so you can make a list or chart or something to make up your mind.”

I felt his laughter against my side, his nose sliding along my jaw, his lips pressing behind my ears. “Maybe I’m already sure,” he said, “and I just don’t want to frighten you.”

I laughed a little, knowing exactly what he meant. He knew I was afraid to open up to him at first, he knew I was afraid to admit my genuine feeling towards him and he knew just how terrified I was towards the idea of falling in love again after what had happened between Bennett and I. But he waited. He waited until the right time came.

“Then you should know better.” I flashed him a toothy grin before turning around, giving him my back.

I could feel Harry shifted around and the next thing I knew, his warmth invaded my space as he wrapped his arms around my stomach, pulling me closer to his chest and his lips was placed near to my ear. “Fine,” he whispered. “Then I love you.”

My breath caught in my throat as I turned around and he closed the final gap between us, his body pressing against mine. I could feel the harsh beat of his heart underneath the warm material of the sweatshirt. It made me feel good that it wasn’t just me that wasn’t breathing properly – he was, too.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” his cheek nuzzled mine gently. “Is that okay?”

He took my warm breath on his ear as a yes and soon his lips were locked on mine. His hands tugged sharply at my top, trying to pull me as close as physically possible as he nibbled on my bottom lip. His tongue slipped into my mouth and danced with mine, a small moan escaping his lips as we feverishly made out.

His arms held me tightly as he began backing up, his lips still working happily as he dropped his head back to the pillow.

It was our first kiss after he said those three words.

“I used to think you would have been far too busy looking at the tall blonde girls with the endless legs and the big hair, the ones who can smell an expense account at forty paces-“

“I like your scent.”

Smiling, I continued. “And anyway, I wouldn’t have thought you would even look at me. I was one of the invisibles.”

“You never were.”

“But you used to date blonde girls, didn’t you?”

“In my defense, I’ve never met you before. I wouldn’t have done that if I met you sooner.”

I rested my chin on his chest and looked up, straight into his green eyes that I had grown to love so fucking much. “Do you know something?”

“What?”

“Sometimes, Harry, you are pretty much the only thing that makes me want to get up in the morning.”

His feature didn’t give away any sort of emotions. I started to curse myself for saying something remotely stupid and for ruining a, what could be the perfect night for us.

“Sorry,”

“No.” He shook his head; his arms were tightly secured around my stomach, “don’t apologize for saying what’s on your mind.”

I realized I was afraid of living without him.

“I love you, Sky. I really do and I know things have been pretty rough between us this lately but I can assure you one thing; I love you. And nothing is going to change that. Do you hear me?” He looked straight into my eyes; his gaze bored a hole into me – into my heart. “Nothing.”

I nodded my head and swallowed the lump that was in my throat. “Okay.”

He kissed my head repeatedly, and then he closed his eyes. And the next thing I knew, we fell asleep.

*

I woke up alone the next morning.

I walked into the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee; surprise stopped me in the doorway. Even he was dead tired the night before, Harry still woke before me. But unlike every other morning since I had moved in, for the first time ever that I had seen in fact – Harry looked like crap. His hair, while still messy and fabulous, seemed to accentuate how tired his face looked, highlighted the deep circles under his eyes and his shockingly pale skin. He was sitting at the kitchen table, hunched over, with his head held in his hands. He was breathing very slowly and carefully through his mouth.

“Are you okay?” I whispered.

His head shot up immediately like I had just scared the shit out of him – maybe I did.

“Yeah.”

“Harry, you’re pale.”

“It’s just a headache,” He smiled slightly, hitching his thumb towards his cup of tea, “nothing a cup of tea couldn’t fix.”

“You know you can always te—“

“It’s nothing, alright?” When he realized how sharp he sounded like, he sighed. “Look, don’t worry about me, okay? Everything’s fine.”

But it didn’t look fine to me.

“We’re having a photo shoot for Teen Vogue today.” He stated as he brought the brim of the cup up to his lips.

“Twice in a year? That’s amazing, Harry.”

“I know,”

“What time are you leaving?”

His eyes searched for a clock and when he found one, he said, “in two hours.”

I patted his hand and smiled, “you’re going to have so much fun with the boys.”

“You’re not coming?”

“Uh,” I rubbed my neck, trying to reason to him why I wouldn’t be coming with him. “Bennett wanted to meet me. It’s actually a business meeting.”

His body tensed at the mention of Bennett and I straightaway regretted telling him that.

“Well, I bet you’re going to have fun, too.”

“Really, Harry?”

He finished his tea and walked away from me to wash his cup. “I’ve got to get ready for the shoot.”

Before he could walk away from me, I grabbed his hand and pulled him back to me. Standing on my tiptoes, I placed a kiss at the corner of his lips. “I love you.”

Harry nodded his head and went to his room.

*

“How’s things with Harry?”

“Good.” I answered almost immediately. “He’s got a photo shoot with Teen Vogue today.”

Bennett smiled, setting his cup down. “So, all good?”

“Yup.”

He sighed as he leaned against the chair. “Sky, I’ve known you for years. That face, I know something has been bothering you.”

I hated how Bennett could still read me no matter how hard I tried not to show anything to him. “It’s nothing.”

He gave me a knowing look which he knew would make me spilled everything to him.

“Harry’s been acting weird this lately. He’s constantly tired, he has this mood swings – I don’t know – one second, he’s so cold and distant and next he’s all warm and wonderful. I’m confused. So fucking confused.”

Bennett listened to me intently as I poured everything out to him. It had always been like that. He always listened to me when I was talking – it made me feel as if he actually cared.

“How are you and Lauren? Things are always good between the two of you, don’t they?”

He smiled – the kind of smile that didn’t reach his eyes – and shook his head. “Not always. There are times we would argue about some stuffs.”

“But it’s good, aren’t they?”

He looked at me cautiously as if his words would hurt me – like it used to. It didn’t, not anymore. “To be honest, yes.”

“I’m glad.”

“Things are going to be okay between the two of you. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, it’s like you’re the highlight of his life. You’re everything to him, Sky. And I’ve seen the way you look at him.” He paused, his eyes looked past my shoulders, “the way you used to look at me.”

I swallowed.

“Sky?” A voice interrupted. It was Harry.

I stood up.

“Great, there you are.” He smiled and walked towards me.

Once he reached where I was standing, Harry grabbed my face with both hands and slammed his lips to mine. His kiss was rough and sloppy, but after a few seconds he began to relax. His soft lips moved against mine gently, his tongue darting out to lick tenderly against my bottom lip. His hand slipped from my face to my waist, tugging my hips close to his as his tongue explored my open mouth. His thumb lovingly caressed my cheek and his eyelashes brushed against my flushed skin as he pulled me even closer. My fingers tangled in the belt loops of his jeans, standing on tiptoe to get a better angle at his delicious lips. With each passing second our kiss grew more pleasant and I was suddenly aware of two things.

One, I did not want him to kiss anyone like this.

And two, Bennett had already left.

“What was that for?” I pulled away, breathless.

“I missed you.”

I blinked. “Missed me?”

He showed me his smile and it went straight to my heart.

The hand behind my neck tightened as he pulled me closer, another hand clutched at my lower back. He slowly pressed me back into the counter and then lifting me up onto it. My legs were circling around his waist; my hands were tangling in his hair.

“Did you do that on purpose?” I asked, panting.

“Maybe I did.”

“You know-“

“Bennett and you are just friends.”

I pulled away and looked at him with a serious look on my face. “Yes, we’re just friends.”

He reattached our lips. His lips parted and his tongue brushed mine. I made a noise at the sensation, at the taste of him and eagerly sought him again. His breath quickened along with mine, and he groaned as he pulled me against him.

“Are you hungry?” I asked. “Because there’s some pasta in the microwave.”

He shook his head as he left kisses on my neck. “Not hungry.”

“Aren’t you tired?”

“No.”

“How’s the shoot?” I bit my lips to hold back the moan that was in the back of my throat. The way his plump lips moved against my skin, the way he licked my neck – I missed them.

“Great.”

“How are the boys?”

“They’re great. Audrey’s great too.”

I pushed him away from me and frowned. “Audrey?”

“Mhm.”

“Why was she there?”

“I don’t know.”

“Ha-“

“What? You’re allowed to hang out with Bennett and I can’t even look at Audrey now?”

My eyes widened at his statement. Pushing him away from me, I got down from the counter. “You know that’s different.”

“Different? I don’t know about you but I think Bennett still loves you.”

“He’s not.”

Harry threw his hands up in the air. “Seriously, Sky?”

“Seriously.” I stated. “He’s in love with Lauren, I’m in love with you.”

He looked away from me and leaned against the counter. My breath stopped when I noticed his face, his eyes. His face looked pained, like I was hurting him. His eyes were gazing past my shoulder, intently focused on anything but me, and they were narrowed in anger. His breathing was shallow and fast through his open lips.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered. I let out a breath I had been holding back and leaned against the counter next to him. “I don’t want to fight.”

He looked at me and nodded briefly. “I’m going to get showered.”

I sighed but nodded my head, knowing that I had no power in stopping him.

We’ll be fine. We eventually will. I took a deep breath and walked into the room. I needed to convince myself that everything would fall back into pieces. It had to be.

Because Harry and I, we were meant to be together.

And because without Harry, I was nothing.

Notes

i'd appreciate it if you tell me what you think of this chapter. :)