Fading.

Everything that happened the next morning felt too familiar.

After I was fully dressed in my work outfit, I made a rush out of my room to make a cup of coffee but was stopped in the doorframe by Harry. With a smile adorning his face, he handed me my cup of coffee like he usually did. Then he returned back to the kitchen.

The event unfolded before me took me back to those days when we were together: Harry was standing in front of the stove with his back on me, a spatula in one hand and I could hear him singing softly. The smell of food instantly hit all of my senses and I couldn’t help but adore the way his muscles flexed as he flipped the pancake with the spatula.

Not wanting to disturb the scene in front of me, I cautiously pulled one chair back and took a seat on it.

“I hope you have enough time for breakfast,” his deep voice called out just as he flipped the pancake and served it on a white plate. I didn’t have much time left but I did have enough time for breakfast. “I searched your kitchen and you don’t have much food left.” He said, sliding the plate to me.

“Thanks.”

A grin almost split his face as I took a bite of his pancake – it was good, if I had to admit. But soon enough, all of this felt weird, too familiar even. The only thing that made this morning felt a wee different was the fact that Harry wasn’t eating his breakfast with me; he was taking a sip of his tea gingerly, a crease forming between his eyebrows.

It was like he was waiting for something, like I was a ticking bomb that was just waiting for the time to snap. Still and all, I didn’t blame him because it seemed like whenever Harry and I were in the same room something was bound to happen. Either one of us would lose one self’s control and we would go back and forth from being friends to not being able to be under the same roof – I was done with that cycle.

From the somewhat comfortable silence that was building up between us, I knew Harry was done with that cycle too.

“I want to have you back in my life, Sky. Even if we’re just friends,”

I knew the second I heard those words left his lips, I couldn’t deny the fact that I wanted him back in my life, too – yes, even if we were just friends. God knew how much I would despise myself if I pushed him away again after he had relentlessly tried to make things work between us.

I didn’t merely break his heart, I broke mine too.

“Your phone’s ringing,” his raspy voice laced with humor interrupted my train of thoughts. I hadn’t realized that my phone was ringing until he pointed it out – that showed how lost I was in my own head.

Grabbing my phone that was on the table, I answered the call without looking at the caller ID.

“Are you alright?” Isaac’s concern voice filled my ear and I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten to text him last night.

Harry took my empty plate to the sink and I mouthed a ‘thanks’ to him. He raised his shoulders slightly as if it was nothing, leaning against the counter and taking a sip of his tea without taking his eyes off of me.

His penetrating gaze nearly made me forgot that Isaac was on the line. “Yes, yeah, I am. Sorry I forgot to text you last night.“

I could hear his sigh of relief from the other line, “It’s okay. I just.. I thought something happened to you.” I frowned; it was the way he spoke that made it sounded like that wasn’t what he really meant – he had something else in his mind.

“No, no, everything’s good.” I assured him, guiltiness creeping in when images of him probably waiting around for my text message to come in and it never did came into my mind. He was probably worried too since he had left me alone with Harry last night.

There was a brief period of silence and I thought he was going to ask me about Harry but he didn’t. “Okay, that’s great. I’ll see you at lunch?”

“Lunch. Right. I’ll see you at the same café, then.”

And just like that, I was reminded back that I was no longer living in Harry and Sky’s bubble – in reality that bubble didn’t exist anymore.

“Thank you for..breakfast. I have to go.” I finished off my coffee in one gulp and placed the cup in the sink, “Now.”

Harry watched me with a cup of tea still in his hand as I grabbed my handbag and right before I could leave his sight, he called out my name. “Aren’t you going to ask me to leave?” He sounded surprised as he said it out loud.

I blinked a couple of times, taken by surprise at his unanticipated question. Was I going to ask him leave? That didn’t cross my mind at all. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to being here and it wasn’t like I wasn’t used to having him around.

Like I had said before, everything felt too familiar.

I would leave for work after I had my breakfast and Harry would make himself feel like at home as he would probably read some of my letters, or sometimes he even tidied up my apartment which was a habit he picked up to kill the time before I returned home. Everything felt like it had finally gone back to the way it was, apart from where we stood, apart from our status – we’re just friends.

“You know what to do.” I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant and left but not before I could see his face broke out into his contagious wide grin, revealing a row of his pearl white teeth that could brighten up everyone’s day – that certainly made everything worth it.

*

Isaac had an intense look on his face, his eyebrows descended, frowning at the small screen in front of him.

Regardless of how distressed he looked like before, all of it vanished when I pulled the chair out in front of him. Looking up from his phone, his eyes lit up as the corners of his mouth turned, the dimples in his cheeks appeared as his whole face showed that he was delighted to see me.

“I’m so relieved to see you.” He rose from his chair, leaning forward until his soft lips met mine.

I was taken aback by his action, for he had never done this before – he had never kissed me publicly until now. There’s something that was bothering him and it’s starting to bother me too.

A sickly, sweet waitress broke the kiss as she stood next to our table, clearing her throat. Her eyes didn’t stray from Isaac as she jotted down our orders; Isaac however didn’t seem to notice that the girl had taken a strong liking in him, twirling her hair around her fingers absentmindedly.

She walked away as soon as she was done with us, making sure the sway of her hips could grab everyone’s attentions. This was something that I had grown used to – every girl seemed to do that a lot around Harry and even Tristan if I was out with him.

“How’s things with Harry?” Isaac questioned, one of his hands that were on the table reached out for mine.

There was one thing that I discovered about Isaac that I found endearing. He always had this urge to touch me whenever we were close to each other; it wasn’t in a sexual way, it was in a loving way that made my heart melted. If we were to seat next to each other, he would have his arms around me, if not arms, he would have his knees bumping with mine, his shoulders brushing against mine – he would just find a way to make sure we would be as close as possible.

I guessed that was how he found a connection between us.

“Good,” I managed to reply with a nod. What else should I say? That Harry had just admitted to me that he wanted me back in his life, that he was mine even if I didn’t have him – and what’s worse was that, I felt the same way.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that, not when he was tilting his head at me, a genuine attempt to figure me out.

“We talked and-“ Right before I could finish my sentence, our meals came which saved me from explaining any further. Isaac thanked the girl, and released my hand so he could pick up the fork to start eating.

We ate in silence; Isaac glanced at me every now and then, one of his feet linked with mine and I couldn’t help but smile at his gesture. The food was gone from our plates within 15 minutes, which left us more time to talk. I knew he was about to tell me something when he cleared his throat; the look in his eyes was unsettling.

I held my breath, waiting for the words to come out from his mouth.

“I’m leaving for a business trip in Manhattan this weekend and I want you to come with me. We could stay at my penthouse then we could explore the city,” he paused, running his fingers through his hair quickly before he added nervously, “If you want to, that is. I’m not forcing you or anything.”

I didn’t know what to say. A part of me wanted to come with him, to explore Manhattan with him and stayed at his penthouse there like he had suggested but a part of me wanted to stay here for a particular reason, which included a pair of green eyes and that wide grin I’d seen this morning that seemed to be stuck in my mind since then.

Isaac appeared to notice my hesitation, for he reached out for my hand and squeezed it gently. “You don’t have to give me the answer now.”

I nodded, “Okay.”

After Isaac had paid the bill, he led me out of the café with his hand on the small of my back. I could sense that he was perturbed about something, like I could fade away right in front of his eyes if he wasn’t holding me.

Once we were out, I turned around and faced him. “Are you alright?”

His Adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped, nodding his head. “Yeah,” he laced his fingers with mine, bringing our laced fingers over his lips. Then, slowly, he kissed each of my fingers tenderly as we remained silence.

And in that silence, I could hear his unspoken words – words that he knew I wasn’t ready to hear.

“Let’s get back to work,” he sighed, unlacing our fingers. Beneath his calm voice, I could hear that he wished we could have spent more time together granted that our plan to watch movies last night was ruined.

“Hey, you’re coming tonight, right?”

His face brightened up as a smile graced his lips. “If you want me there, then yeah.”

Hooking my arms around his neck, I leaned in and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. It didn’t feel weird anymore as a matter of fact it felt normal – to kiss him in public. And that scared me for a second, knowing that I might have forgotten how it felt like to have Harry’s lips on mine since I was getting used to Isaac’s kiss, then I remembered how difficult it was for Harry and I to show our moments of affection in public, for there were paparazzi following us everywhere.

With Isaac, everything was simple – there was no paparazzi chasing after us, there was no one that cared about us. People wouldn’t be buzzing about the kiss we shared, nor would I be seeing my face on the front page of multiple magazines just because we kissed in the open.

“I’ll see you tonight.”

We turned on our heels respectively, heading to our cars. Right before I could get inside my car, a voice called out my name. Frowning, I turned around to see a woman walking up to me. For a second, I couldn’t perceive who it was until the smell of her perfume hit my senses – it was Audrey.

“Fancy seeing you here,” she said in her thick English accent that I used to detest so much. “And you’re with another man, dare I add.” She made it sounded like I had been seen out with different guys every day.

There was something about Audrey that made me clenched my fist tighter at my side; she was lighting up the fire inside of me that hadn’t been burning in a while. Maybe it was because I could still remember how badly Harry’s words hurt me that night, maybe because I envied her but either way, being around her didn’t give me good vibes.

“When I was with Audrey, everything was easy. She was easy to be around with. She liked me for so long, I didn’t have to work hard to impress her. It was just easy.”

“I’ve always thought you’d be the first one to move on.” She said gleefully as if she had been planning the whole time for this event to play out in front of her. “I’m always right.”

“Audrey’s right; you’re going to leave me eventually. You would run when things got tough.”

“Poor Harry, he must be moping around still, wishing you’d come back when you’ve already let another guy gets in your pants.” She said mockingly which made my blood boiled but I ignored my anger, I ignored her snide comments. I kept reminding myself that she wasn’t worth it. I wasn't going to lose my temper because of her, because of her untrue words.

Ignoring her, I opened the door to the passenger side but her hand stopped me as she pushed the door close. “I’m not done talking to you, Skylar.”

Annoyed now, I rolled my eyes at her. “What do you want, Audrey? Unlike you, I have a work to get back to instead of harassing people on the street.”

She stepped two steps away from me, her lips parted in disbelief. “I want to know who’s that guy.”

“Why? So you could go running after him and ruin every chances of me to be happy with him?”

I hated myself for allowing her to get under my skin; I should have gotten used to her attitude by now - her words shouldn’t mean a thing to me anymore. She was just another bitter girl that I knew that would grab any chances that she had on ruining somebody else’s happiness only because she couldn’t find hers.

“No, I am going to do him and you a favor actually,” she smiled sinisterly and added, “I want to warn him that Skylar Spencer is a runner. She runs whenever things get tough, surely, he wants to know that, yeah? I’m sure he wants to know that the girl he’s probably in love with isn’t going to be with him for long before the itch to run away gets to her.”

My eyes widened for a fraction. No, she wasn't going to get under my skin again. I counted to three, inhaling a deep breath as I told myself to ignore her because: first, I didn’t want to cause a scene especially in public, knowing that paparazzi probably followed her around and second, my lunchtime was over, I had to get back to my office.

Taking a step closer to me, she whispered in my ears, even her voice sickened me, “You think I’m out of the picture now that Harry’s done with you but honey, I’m always here observing you.”

With that being said, she turned on her heels, leaving me confused and somewhat frightened of her next move. God knew what she had up her sleeves.


“I had never seen someone so in love,” An Irish voice broke the silence of the room and I turned to my left to see that he had taken the empty spot next to me on the couch.

Everyone was in the next room, getting ready for the concert and I wouldn’t want to interrupt them.

“Hi, Niall.” I shut off my laptop and put it aside. “What brings you here?”

He shrugged, looking around the small room. “Just bored and thought I could keep you company since Harry’s getting his haircut.”

“About time,” I huffed. I had been badgering him to cut his hair shorter and he didn’t listen to me until today. “Anyway, what were you saying just now?”

He frowned as if he tried to remember what he had just told me moments ago. “Ah! I was just saying that I had never seen someone so in love before.”

“Who?”

He laughed, nudging my shoulder with his, “You and Harry. He’s so in love with you, Sky. If you told him to jump off a bridge, I think he would.”

I felt heat rose up to my cheeks, leaving splotches of red on my cheeks. “I don’t think so.”

His face turned upside down as he frowned, “What made you think so?”

I sighed. It was probably because I wasn’t his first love, probably because I wasn’t Audrey – his first serious girlfriend.

“I don’t know, I know he loves me but not that much for him to do whatever I ask him to do.” I shrugged, hinting the fact that I didn’t want to continue this conversation but Niall didn’t seem to get it.

“Are you kidding me? Have you seen the way he looks at you?”

I nodded.

“You’re all he’s thinking about and trust me, I’m not lying about this. You might not be his first love but you’re certainly his last. I don’t think he could ever love someone as much as he loves you and if the two of you.. you know, break up or something, I think it’ll take time for him to heal.”

I looked up from my fingers, surprised to hear such things coming from Niall. “Why aren’t you getting any girlfriend?”

He shrugged, a soft laugh escaped his mouth, “I wonder why too.”

“Anyway, thank you.”

He arched one of his eyebrows at me, “For what? For practically telling you Harry’s secret?”

“It’s a secret?”

“Yeah, he made me promise not to tell you about it. But I trust you not to rat me out.” He winked, patting my knees before he left me to think about what he had just told me.


I made a beeline to the door as soon as I heard a knock. Plastering a smile across my face, I opened the front door and stepped back to allow Isaac inside. Only it wasn’t Isaac; it was Harry.

“Ah, if it isn’t my favourite friend.” He smiled, stepping inside my house.

My mouth parted in shock and soon enough my mind started to work. Harry couldn’t be here – not when Isaac was on his way. I had promised him that we would be having our movie marathon tonight - distraction free - since our plan was ruined last night by Harry’s appearance.

“What are you doing here?” I followed him into the living room as he took a seat on my couch.

“It’s Wednesday’s night. It’s the night when we usually have a movie marathon. Have you forgotten about that, Sky?”

I hadn’t forgotten about it; I had simply kept the memory in the back of my mind so I wouldn’t be thinking of him when Isaac was here.

“Well,” I swallowed, “we can’t do that.”

He rose from the couch, a crease formed between his eyebrows. I hated that look on his face - he wasn't supposed to frown; his face wasn't made to frown.

“Isaac’s coming and.. We’re going to have a movie marathon together. Tonight.” I didn’t know why I was stuttering but that gaze he was giving to me made me forgot everything that I wanted to say to him, that I had to say to him.

“Oh,” he nodded, finally registering what I had just told him. “Okay, I’ll leave then.” His shoulders slumped forward as he strutted past me, completely ignoring me. He opened the front door and seconds later, I heard the door closed with a thump.

It didn’t take me long to realize what I had just said and done to him. I had just taken that one thing we’ve never shared with anyone else and gave it to someone else. I had just shared our thing with someone else.


“This is sort of our thing, you know.” He said as he stared up at me since his head was on my lap.

I ran my fingers through his hair, his hair felt so soft against my fingers and nodded. “Yeah, our thing.”

“I’ve never watched movies with anyone else on Wednesday’s night.” He said, reaching out for the popcorn in the bowl. When he didn’t seem to reach it, I brought the bowl closer to him. “I don’t want this thing to be someone else’s.”

“It won’t,” I promised. “Because it’s ours.”

His face broke into the most genuine and beautiful smile I had ever seen, “I couldn’t see myself doing this movie marathon with anyone else in the future.” He paused, closing his eyes, a peaceful look took over his face.

The living room was quiet except for the sound coming from the movie playing on the tv. I had stopped paying attention to the movie since Harry put his head on my lap. “When I close my eyes, I couldn’t see someone else. I could only see you.” He said, reopening his eyes to look directly at me, into me.

I stopped threading my fingers through his hair and looked into his green eyes that were utterly mesmerizing. He was good at leaving me at loss of words.

“I love you, Sky. And I’m one hundred percent in it.”

I couldn’t form a coherent word hence I leaned in and kissed him, I kissed him until I forgot that we needed to breathe, I kissed him until the movie ended, and I didn’t think I could stop kissing him.

When we were done kissing, I finally replied, “I love you too.”


“Are you okay, babe?” Isaac frowned, pulling me closer to his side.

“Yeah,” I lied, resting my head on his shoulder as he kissed my head.

I had no idea what movie he had chosen, for I hadn’t paid any attention to it. My mind kept on drifting back to Harry. The way his shoulder slumped as I told him he needed to leave, the look on his face.. I wasn’t being a good friend, I never was. All I did was give him shit and he didn’t say anything about it – he accepted it.

He accepted it because he was being an understanding friend. He accepted it because he didn’t want to upset me. He accepted it because..he loved me. It all boiled down to the fact that he loved me.

He had sacrificed a lot of things for me and what had I done? I literally did nothing; I only hurt him even more with everything that I did with Isaac. He must have thought he had been replaced by Isaac but what he didn't know was that he wasirreplaceable. Nobody could replace him.

“I’m yours even if you won’t have me.”

It was likely my turn to fix it, to fix everything.

Notes

Hiiii, first of all, i want to say thank you so much to everyone who has read this story. It means a lot to me. What you THINK?Just Say:D