Fading.

Harry didn’t say anything afterward.

And I accepted it; I accepted the silence that fell upon us because for once, I felt good. I felt good that I had pretty much said what I had wanted to say to him – half of them, that is. He didn’t need to know everything that was going on in my mind but he needed to know that I had never thought he wasn’t enough.

Harry looked down at his half empty glass and twirled the glass while chewing on his bottom lip until it became raw and red. I looked away from the sight of it, knowing that I wasn’t strong enough to control myself after downing a glass of strong drink. It was Niall’s voice that had snapped him out of his trance.

Setting down his glass on the table, Harry turned to Niall, giving me his back and told his band mate that it was getting late and he had to leave. He also reminded Niall not to be late for their recording session, joked something about having to drive all the way to Niall’s apartment if he woke up late and then he left. He didn’t give me a second glance nor did he say goodbye to me - he just turned on his heels and left.

So, that was why I was surprised when my phone lighted up, signaling a text message coming from ‘Sexy Harry’ – the name he had proudly given to himself – when I slid into my cold bed, halfway through wrapping myself with the warm blanket.

My reflex was quick as I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and involuntarily, I held my breath as I read his text over and over again.

And thank you for giving me the chance to love you, Sky.

I let his words sink in as I turned to my left and stared at the vacant spot next to me. An image of him sleeping soundly with his mouth slightly opened and with a slight frown on the forehead took over my vision. He hated having to sleep on the left whenever he stayed the night because according to him, he was a ‘right guy’.

I knew that didn’t matter at all because while we were sleeping, he would eventually diminish the gap between us until we ended up tangled the next morning – his leg on top of mine, his arms wrapped tightly around my abdomen, his fingers laced with mine and his head rested pleasantly behind my neck that I could feel his soft breath fanning over me.

I had never thought it was suffocating; I had always thought it was delightful. Knowing that he was clinging to me, holding onto me even while he was sleeping was a nice thought to wake up to. There was not a time I woke up next to Harry that I wasn’t smiling; waking up next to him would always put a smile on my face.

But the longer I watched the unoccupied spot next to me, the more petrified I was. I was afraid that someday I wouldn’t remember what it felt like to have someone – to have Harry – on the same bed, I was afraid that I would always compare everyone else to him and that would be unfair.

After some time, I fell asleep with my fingers wrapped around my phone and unintentionally I rolled over to the cold spot next to me just so it would be warm.

And it smelled like him.

*

While the rest of the world carried on with their daily activities, I carried on with mine - writing articles after articles and trying my best to avoid drinking because I had promised myself not to. I didn’t want to become dependent on the alcohol like I did back then. It wasn’t easy since there had been celebrations going around in the office almost every day but I had done my best.

It wasn’t until that one evening I chose to spend with the boys at Niall’s simple apartment because he was having a barbecue that my desire to drink was literally overtaking myself.

I watched as everyone took a sip of their beer and I cracked the water bottle open, taking a couple of gulps as I focused on one thing only: the conversation between Louis and Zayn.

From the corner of my eyes, I had seen him coming from the glass sliding door. I heard him approached Niall which then followed by a really sweet girl’s voice that made my eyes snapped up to the direction they were coming from.

Olivia. Harry brought Olivia with him. Beautiful, that was the first word that would pop into everyone’s mind once they caught a sight of her. Her hair was a rich shade of tawny. It flowed in waves to adorn her glowing, porcelain-like skin. Her eyes framed by long lashes, were a sparkling, sky blue and seemed to brighten the room whenever she was around. A straight nose, full lips – she seemed the picture of perfection.

I was suddenly thankful that I had put on my sunglasses and had pulled my hair into a braid. My eyes seemed dull compared to her; my hair seemed unappealing.

Olivia went around the table, greeting each of the boys with such gracefulness. Her smile made everyone smiled back at her and laughed along if she said something amusing.

I was the last person she got to. Harry stood behind her with one of his hands on her back as he cleared his throat, “Sky, this is Olivia. Olivia, Sky.”

Smiling and instead of offering me her hand, she engulfed me into a hug. I couldn’t hate this girl – she was beautiful and nice. “I was so worried I would be the only girl here.”

“Sky’s always around; she’s like a family to us.” Louis remarked from next to me.

Turning to Louis, Olivia gave him her million-dollar smile as she pulled away from the hug. “That’s good to know. At least I wouldn’t mind if Harry told me he’s going to take me to see you boys.” She shrugged in an adorable way and occupied the empty seat next to Harry, accepting the drink he offered to her.

“Alright, so who’s going to help me?” Niall asked. Liam hopped up from his chair and went to the grill to offer a hand.

The last time we gathered around for a barbecue, Harry had been so distant from all of us. He took a bite or two from the food on his plate and excused himself to go to the guest room. But now as I watched him communicate with Zayn and Olivia, I knew that the distant Harry wasn’t here – he was back to his old self.

“Beer?” Louis asked, cutting short the train of thoughts in my head. I was once again thankful that I had my sunglasses covering my eyes so I was pretty sure that Louis hadn’t seen me staring at his best friend.

I had meant to say no but my hand reached out for bottle from him, “Thanks.”

Few minutes later, Niall announced that the food was ready. Plates went around the table as they passed the food and I took mine from Louis.

“This is so good!” Olivia exclaimed after she took a bite of the meal on her plate. “I couldn’t remember when was the last time I had a proper barbecue like this. You’re so good at this, Niall.”

Niall sat next to me and smiled sheepishly but beneath that smile, he seemed proud of himself. “’Twas nothing.”

“You could be on Masterchef.” Olivia replied.

That earned laughter from everyone on the table. Harry shook his head though there was a hint of smile on his face as he played around with his fork.

“Don’t you think so, Harry?”

When he realized everyone was looking at him, he raised his gaze and met my eyes. We had talked about this before; we had talked about how good Niall was at cooking but we would have never thought he would be qualified to be on Masterchef nor would he want to be in the competition. Niall Horan and Gordon Ramsay in one room wouldn’t turn out good.

With a lopsided grin, he shook his head. “Trust me, it would turn out ugly. If you put Niall and Gordon under the same roof, the kitchen would turn into a disaster.”

I couldn’t hide my smile this time. He remembered the conversation we had months ago.

“Rubbish,” Niall stated, throwing an empty can toward Harry. “We are best friend. Remember that time we went to his restaurant?”

“Yeah I do remember that.” Liam said.

Louis nodded, “and that was the best meal I’ve ever had my entire life.”

“Exactly,” Niall leaned forward and gave Louis a high five.

The boys jumped into conversation immediately, giving me an excuse to just listen to what they were talking about. Mostly it was about how they missed touring and how excited they were for their new album.

“You guys are cute,” Olivia, said which caused everyone to stop and look at her. “But I want to know more about Sky.”

My ears perked up at the mention of my name and I looked up from my near empty plate.

“Harry told me that you work with Landon?”

Nodding, I answered her. “Yeah, yeah I do.”

“I’ve met him before,” she said, chewing her food. “He’s nice, terrible flirter but nonetheless, nice. How is he treating you?”

I took a sip of my beer and nodded my head, “Good. He gives a lot of work but I don’t mind. I like my job.”

“Harry did tell me that you like your job too.”

I glanced over at Harry and he was studying me with a frown on his forehead. He wasn’t expecting Olivia to be telling me that he had talked about me to her.

Leaning forward, she put her elbow on the table. “Anyway, how did you meet the boys?”

“I met them through Harry actually.” I answered. “And now I couldn’t imagine my life without them.”

“Aw, you’re such a sweetheart, Sky.” Louis pulled me in for a side hug as I poked his rib. “As a matter of fact, we couldn’t imagine our lives without Sky around either.”

This time, everyone had their eyes on Harry except for Olivia. She hadn’t a clue what was going on between us.

*

“When are you going to realize that you are short, Sky?”

I stopped standing on my tiptoes and stepped back to give space for Harry to reach for the black plastic bag that Niall asked for. With his height, he could easily retrieve anything from the upper cabinet. As he handed it to me, he asked. “Anything else you want to get while I’m at it?”

“No, not that I know of.” I shook my head, shrugging. “Niall didn’t ask for anything else.”

As I was about to walk out of the glass sliding door, Harry grabbed me by my wrist, stopping me from walking away. He waited for me to turn around before he started talking.

The air was still as I waited for him to speak. “Are we okay?”

I frowned, “What?”

“Are we okay?” He repeated as if I hadn’t heard him before. “As in we’re allowed to talk like before?”

“Of course we’re allowed to talk, Harry.” I stated but I didn’t say we were allowed to talk like before.

Did he think we shouldn’t be talking to each other? Or did he think I didn’t want him to talk to me?

I had never wanted that. In fact, a small piece of me was glad whenever Harry talked to me. It was as if I was relieved to know that we weren’t completely strangers.

“Why are you asking me this, Harry?”

His shoulders slumped forward, his hands went deep into his jeans pockets. “It’s just weird to be around you and not knowing if I could talk to you or not when you are talking to the boys just fine.”

“Well,” I bit my tongue and looked out to see if Niall was looking at us but he wasn’t. He was talking on his phone with his back on us. “You can talk to me if you want to.”

“So we’re friends?”

“We’ve always been friends.”

He nodded his head like he was taking in what I had just told him. The word ‘friends’ sounded foreign to me but I let it go. That was what we were: friends.

“Olivia is perfect,” I said to avoid the awkward silence.

Looking up, he frowned as if I had just blurted out a lie – it wasn’t. “You think she is?”

“Yeah. I’m pretty sure everyone thinks she’s perfect.” I shrugged, not wanting this conversation to get serious.

Under his breath, he muttered. “Not everyone.”

I wasn’t supposed to hear that but with the silence of the house, I heard him even if he was muttering. If a pin was to fall on the floor, I probably could hear it too.

“You look beautiful,” he gave me a lazy smile as he said it.

With those three words that I’ve been told by several people in my life, I never believed them until they came out of his lips. There was something about the way he said it that actually made me believe him. Or maybe because I was under the impression that he had never told a lie to me before.

“Friends can compliment each other, right?” Harry asked in the most innocent way ever.

With a slight frown, I nodded. “I guess they can.”

“Well then I think you look great in that dress, too. If I recall, that’s my favourite dress.”

It was. There was something about me wearing white that Harry liked so much.

I hadn’t realized how close we were until my back hit the fridge; his face was few inches away from mine and I could feel his breath fanning my cheeks. My eyes immediately narrowed down to his plump lips that looked like he had been chewing on it. Maybe he had.

With the small amount of alcohol in my veins, a part of me screamed at me to grab him and kiss him but that would be a wrong move. Not when we had just agreed to be friends, which meant we had to be civil around each other.

I gathered the willpower I had within myself and whispered, “Friends do not stand this close to each other, Harry.”

As if I had just thrown a bucket of water at him, he stepped back until his hips met the counter and shook his head. I looked at him one last time and left the kitchen to give Niall the plastic bag he asked for.

“What took you so long?” Niall frowned as he slipped his phone into his pocket.

“I went to the bathroom.”

The glass sliding door opened and Olivia smiled at me. “Gutted that I couldn’t spend more time with you.” She said with a pout. “You and I can go out sometimes though?”

Looking past her shoulder, I saw Harry standing a few feet away, looking at the two of us with guilty written all over his face.

“That sounds nice.” I offered her a smile as she pulled me in for a hug. Then, she walked over to Niall, giving him a friendly hug too.

“Do you think the offer to be friend is still open?” Harry asked as he stood in front of me.

I had to tilt my head to look up at him, especially when I wasn’t wearing my heels. “The offer opens till tonight.”

Harry opened his mouth to say something but Olivia came up to him and leaned her head on his chest. Smiling at me, she said. “Glad that the two of you are close to each other, we could go on a double date sometimes.”

“Double date?”

“Yeah,” she nodded her head eagerly. “Harry and I, Niall and you.”

I wasn’t aware that she was under the impression that Niall and I were dating. Standing next to me, Niall burst out laughing. I joined him.

Her brows puckered up as she stood straight and looked at Harry.

“They aren’t dating, Olivia.” Harry said. There was something behind his voice but I was too busy laughing to take notice of it. “Come on, let’s go.”

“Thank you for the barbecue, Niall.” Olivia said before she followed Harry leaving Niall’s apartment.


Valentine’s day was that one holiday that I had never cared about. It had never been special for me. Plus, with Harry not being around, there was no reason for me to go out for a dinner or even walk around the block when everyone was literally sucking faces with their partners.

“I wasn’t jealous,” I convinced myself because I wasn’t jealous of anyone, at all.

I knew being in a relationship with Harry came with its own price. We had to be in a long distance relationship. Most people said it wouldn’t work but I believed Harry that we could make it work, that we could prove everyone else was wrong.

I was on my bed when I heard a persistent knocking at the door, which forced me to roll out of bed.

When I opened the door, all I could see was a large vase of red roses covering the stranger’s face.

“Uh, wrong house.” I said. Just as I was about to close the door, a foot stopped me.

“Miss Skylar Spencer, right?” A deep voice asked.

“Y-yeah.” I answered. "Who are you?"

A head poked out from around the abundance of flowers and I instantly took the vase, put it aside and jumped on him. “You’re here, you’re here, you’re here.”

Harry chuckled as I wrapped my legs around his hips and kissed his cheeks. “I’m here.”

“But how?” I frowned at him, my bottom lip jutted out.

Kissing me softly, he smiled onto my lips. “You surprised me last week so I wanted to surprise you back.”

“But you have a concert tonight.” I got off of him and stepped inside.

He shrugged as he followed me inside and closed the door. “I still have lots of time to kill. I should be sleeping but I’d rather go through 3 hours of painful driving just to see you.”

“Painful?”

“Yes and I hope it’s worth it, though.” He smirked, hooking his finger on the loop of my jeans and pulled me closer to him. I couldn’t stop the giggle that came out from my mouth. “That’s cute.”

“I thought guys hate giggles.”

“Not yours.” He whispered, trailing kisses from my ear down to my collarbone. “Yours is the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. Well actually it’s the second best sound.”

“Really? What’s first?”

“The sound I’m about to hear soon.”

With that, his lips, his hands were on me in a flash. I kissed him back with the same intensity. We knocked over a lot of things in the process of making our way to my bedroom but eventually we succeed.

“I miss you so much.” That was the last thing he whispered to me before we lost ourselves in each other.

Valentine’s day might be my new favourite holiday after all.


“Ben has this really hot cousin,” Daisy began as she sat down next to me on my couch. “You and him should really go out.”

Groaning, I turned the volume of the telly louder. I wasn’t interested but knowing Daisy, she wouldn’t accept no as an answer. “I’m happy just the way I am, D.”

“No you’re not.” She pointed out and I didn’t bother to correct her. “Just one date then I’ll stop bothering you. He’s really, really, hot.”

“You won’t stop bothering me at all after this?” I questioned.

She nodded, her face was ready to split into a smile if I happened to give in and just go for one date with Ben’s cousin. “You won’t regret it, Sky.”

Huffing, I nodded. “Fine, one date. That’s all I’m up for.”

Daisy clapped her hands excitedly, a smile took over her face. “Alright, so his name is Isaac, he’s 23, works with his father in a company..“

Daisy kept on talking but I tuned her out the second my phone vibrated.

I’m accepting the offer.

My fingers flew over the screen as I typed a reply: What offer are you referring to?

“Sky, are you listening to me?”

I nodded though I had no idea what was she on about.

Being your friend. Unless there’s another offer?

I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from smiling. How was it that a simple text from Harry could easily put a smile on my face?

Ah, that one. I guess we’re friends then.

“….sometimes I wish I met Isaac first, you know?” Daisy said, laughing to herself. I joined her laugh so she would know I was actually listening to her. “But Ben is the one, I know it.”

Looking up from the screen of my phone, I smiled at her. “Then Ben is one hell of a lucky man to have you.”

“You really think so?”

I nodded. “Look at you: you don’t even look like you’re pregnant. You're so beautiful, Daisy. And you are a really fun person to be with. If he cheats, tell me.”

Smiling so big, she pulled me in for a hug. We laughed as her bump got in the way.

Good night, pal.

“How are you and Harry?”

I looked at the text for one last time then I put away my phone. “We’re friends.”

Notes