Alter ➳ h.s

n i n e t e e n
trick question
harry

“So if I got hurt, it’d be my fault, not yours,” she continued. Her breath smelled like strawberries and almonds when she breathed out of her mouth to feel warmer. It was a chilly night and I began to feel bad that I’d dragged her into it. But I needed her to see it.

I knew in the back of her mind that she doubted herself; doubted her feelings. She didn’t trust herself around me and I didn’t trust myself around her. “That’s another way to put it,” I slightly agreed with her conclusion that I couldn’t hurt her unless she allowed herself to be hurt. But I didn’t want to even give her the choice in being hurt. Ember isn’t the type of person that you strive to hurt—not that I want to hurt her.

“Yeah,” she eventually said.

“Well,” I got up and brushed my back off, “we should get back. It’s probably close to midnight.”

➳ ➳

“Where did you go?” Louis and Jason interrogated once Ember and I got back. Eleanor sat back on the couch picking at her cuticles. Ember and I found that going back home would be boring and there would be nothing left to do. My meds were kicking in and I was starting to get this abnormal high that I sometimes got; life was good.

The whole night was made in just a few short hours. Hour one was midnight, where I’d mentioned that it was late. But then, my brain got this tingly feeling and my arms and legs got wobbly. Hands no longer feeling like they were attached to my body and this smile, big and wide, just spread across my face. I was happy. And God, did it feel good to say that. Whenever I got this occasional high, I’d be happy. And it’d last a few hours. “Are you okay?” Ember urged over and over again.

“Okay?” I picked her up by her waist from the ground and hugged her, “I’m fucking great!” The other half of hour one was spent walking. Walking and her listening to me ramble on and on about different topics that just came to mind. One minute I’d be talking about how tall the Empire State Building was and then going on to being a cocky prick and how much money I’d make this year.

Hour two was when we arrived at this sketchy looking drugstore that sold sketchy over-the-counter medications with a sketchy cashier. Everything about this was, you guessed it, sketchy. But that’s what made it exciting. Knowing that you can possibly catch chlamydia just by breathing in whatever air was different from outside.

“I’m scared,” Ember told me and held onto my arm. The man at the back of the store had this long beard and spray-tanned skin. The golden ring on his left ring finger looked fake along with the smile on his face that soon faltered.

“I’m here to refill my prescription.” The man looked at me; his look was intimidating but I didn’t allow it to be. Time was slow. It always is when you’re so concentrated on why clocks tick or why you can’t ever find a comfortable place in your mouth for your tongue or why your nose was always in the way of your fucking vision. Time was incredibly slow when drugs were somewhere stuck in between each second.

“Well, are you gonna stare at the clock or give me the bottle?” In sketchy drugstores you learn quickly that anyone and everyone can be pricks because they don’t even worry about being shut down. The biggest fuck they give about the whole affair is hoping they don’t have rats eating the pills. Because dead or high rats isn’t a good thing. Can ruin the business. Not that they care.

Before I came in, I made sure to dump all the pills in one bottle into my pocket so I can put both the new pills and the relatively old ones together. Meaning less refilling and more high. After punching numbers in when I gave the bottle to him, he gave it back and went to the back to search for the pills.

Of course this place doesn’t have actual names on things or where you can ask to have it already filled for you for a quick pick-up. Which is why I love this place. Even if I get caught with an extra bottle, no one would have proof that it’s mine. Simply because it wouldn’t have my name on it. “Here. Now fuck off.”

I took them and guided Ember out of the store. We hid at the back where I poured the pills together in one bottle. The old one, not the new and possibly pissed on one. “He wasn’t nice.” I ignored Ember and took a small water bottle out of my jacket pocket, taking two more pills. “What’s that for?”

“Hm?” I asked, then tuned in to what she was saying, “Oh. I don’t even know anymore. I think these are the anti-depressants. Or do they help with the voices? I’m not sure, all I know is that when you take them at a certain time and a certain order, you can get the best high. Most of the time it’s just an accident, like this time. But God is this amazing.”

She licked her bottom lip and watched me start to put everything into my pocket, “Can I have two?”

“You’re smaller than I am, one is probably enough.”

Her lips pursed, “Give me two.” That’s when hour two took into effect. Hour two went like how all hour two’s usually went. With both people high off their asses, accepting the concepts of a life they had yet to understand, and then having terrible sexual tension. That’s what I also loved about whatever I was taking; they sure did get you horny. And although I hadn’t formally had a girlfriend in months, I’d had a few friends here and there willing to… help me out.

Another thing that pissed Louis off.

Anyway, hour two was short lived while the drugs continued to kick in for Ember. Once they had, we made this discovery that ice cream would be great at two thirty in the morning. Hour two and a half was spent invading an ice cream shop. One thing you have to know about getting into closed places is knowing the right people. And I knew the right people.

We walked to Callie’s house over on Fisher Street. I liked Callie; she was pretty. Nice boobs (that I fucked), nice vagina (that I fucked) and a nice mouth (that I also fucked). I’ve done a lot of things that I’m not proud of from when I was a teenager. But then again, who doesn’t? I knocked on her back door four times, that was always our thing from the time I was sixteen until about seventeen. “Styles?” She whispered out her window upstairs.

“Who else? Get down here.” I was a dick when this amount of pills were in my system, but it didn’t matter. She knows me and I know her. I know that her father is the owner of Frank’s Dairy Delights and that she would love to let me in. For a price.

“Fine, I’ll give you the damn key. But you gotta do somethin’ for me.” She whispered her request into my ear and smiled widely.

“Sure, whatever.” Callie was one of the few people that still treated me like the happy and sex-crazed teenager I was a few years ago. Before everything came crashing down. She handed over the key. That’s when hour three began. Hour three was split in half, also.

One half was actually walking there and the other was getting in and eating everything. Literally everything. Ice cream lined the walls with words scribbled like FUCK YOU or EMBER WAS HERE. Small childish things like that, we knew Callie would get in trouble but her request was so far fetched that I had to. There were three phases of whatever medication this was.

Phase One was the kicking in process. When you realize your hands are heavier than you thought and your brain gets this odd tingly feeling allthewhile your nose and mouth smell and taste things that most likely aren’t there. Phase Two was the doing process. Finding anything to do and doing it, no matter what the consequences. And then there was Phase Three which was the calming phase. When everything comes back to you and you get exceptionally tired and near weak.

Phase Two got us in trouble. Phase Two was the reason why we were sitting on the living room couch, covered in ice cream and smelling like God knows what, being interrogated. “Where did you go?” Louis asked.

“Is that a trick question? Because I’m not good at those,” my answer caused Ember to snicker a bit.

“Harry, you know you’re not supposed to take those drugs like that.” He picked up the bottle that was filled with double the pills. “And getting your pills refilled after I got a refill just yesterday? Harry, this is dangerous. You can’t take too many or give any to a person who has never had any before!”

“I’m sorry, Mum. Listen, Ember wanted to try it, who am I to stop her?”

Jase sat up, “A man. Em, you know better.” Everyone sighed; the conversation was over and no one dared to make eye contact. The night ended with everyone crashing somewhere around the house. Ember’s legs dangled off the couch while she rested her head on my chest that was having issues with breathing. I was fine but it felt like I was choking on air. Sleep helped.

When I woke up, the high had gone away and the severity of our late night out kicked in. I’d turned on the news and everything just seemed to be wrong. “Harry Styles and his mystery girl seen out again. The two were out until the early hours of four in the morning running around Hertfordshire. From getting into closed ice cream shops to getting prescriptions at drug stores, we’re starting to wonder: Are Harry and this girl dating? Is he becoming a drug addict?”

Everyone had woken up by then. Every word was grasped. Jase took a taxi to his hotel in anger and Louis and Eleanor left for a breakfast date after an hour and a half of not speaking to Ember and I. “Shit,” Ember looked at her phone and saw that Ben was calling. “Hello?”

She excused herself to another room, leaving me to wonder a lot of things. Like why I was shirtless when just a few hours ago I could have sworn that I’d had a shirt on. Or why I smelled like salami and it felt like dog slobber was on my leg. I checked. There was dog slobber on my leg. “Everything okay?” I asked when she returned a few minutes later.

“It’s all over the news. Ben’s not happy but he trusts me still for some reason. My dad called, he’s pissed. Says that I should stay with the man that I promised to be with.” Her eyes widened and she looked down.

“Promised?”

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter. Anyway, everyone hates me right now and I just want to go to my hotel, sleep, and never take foreign drugs again.”

“Or drugs at all.”

“You know what I meant.” She yawned and went over to the couch on the other side of the room. She wore this tank top that acted as an extra bra and pushed up her boobs. I knew this because after she took off the shirt on top of the tank top, I looked for a split second.

Ember went to sleep afterwards. I swore off whatever I’d been taking for two days since I’d taken two days worth in just three hours. Maybe that’s how those corrupted businessmen feel. One moment it’s fun and perfect and the next it’s all ruined. That’s exactly how I felt. Like one moment, when the drugs were nice and fresh and everything was good that the next, it was ruined. I rubbed my face. Being that high was like being drunk off your ass.

It didn’t feel as nice anymore, either. I didn’t feel like shit other than this pain in my lower back that I wish didn’t exist, but nothing was really different. After finding the strength to push myself up I wandered to the bathroom where I’d suggested the bad idea that was last night just a day ago. The cabinet that also acted as a small square mirror held my medication. I took four pills instead of six, taking out the two for today. I watched Ember sleep for five minutes and wondered why she doesn’t just leave Ben. Then I thought of what Louis said she felt for him; love.

Notes

sorry for, like, being dead
lots has been happening
gotta remember, still on vacay
also, love you guys but you NEED TO COMMENT
how am i supposed to know if you like the story or naw?
just sayin

love your cute faces x