Alter ➳ h.s

e l e v e n
you’re perfect to me
harry

Ember was a hard cryer. Either that, or her body wouldn’t allow her to stop. Either way, I ended up having to browse through three albums worth of songs for all the slow ones to sing to her. It first calmed her crying, then it soothed her to sleep. After finishing ‘Little Things’, I realized that Ember Rose Knight was perfect to me. She may not be the nicest or most sincere, but I knew that she meant it when she said that she might like me, days ago. I fell asleep after Ember did.

I woke up in the morning to the shower running. I was highly uncomfortable in my regular clothes. My jeans hugged onto my crotch awkwardly and I was starting to sweat in a shirt that I’d decided to wear to an interview after the concert. I left a note on her pillow:

went back to my room, come by later?
need my meds, talk soon

H

My room was down the hall and to the right of Ember’s, which was too far. I knew one of my demons was Ben, but I couldn’t forget what he said to me in the coffee shop the day Ember got upset. “You stay away from her, pretty boy. Or else, your career, as you know it, will cease to exist. I’ll destroy you.” Ben was a tad bit smaller than I in height and in strength, so it didn’t bother me when he said that. Then again, it did.

I showered and thought about this: if he would hurt Ember, and he’d hurt me, who says he wouldn’t hurt anyone else? My friends? Family? It was sickening. He would come and hurt, or even kill me. I then found my thoughts were overrated and, after washing my hair, dried off and took my pills. These pills worked wonders. Or maybe it wasn’t the pills. Maybe it was the small effect plus the long effect of Ember. I was highly intoxicated on Ember. She was beauty at its finest; she was flawless in my opinion.

I took another pill when I realized I started to compare her to Ellie. Ellie made me think that she cared and she loved me, she made me think that she liked me upon meeting me. But that’s when I realized that Ellie and Ember were nothing alike. I knew for a fact that Ember didn’t like me when she first met me, but she allowed herself to enjoy whatever time was spent without being too rude. I liked that. And I knew it was wrong to say that I have feelings for Ember after only knowing her for a span of maybe a week and a half, but I really do like her.

She’s interesting. Maybe not as strong as she makes everyone thinks she is, but she’s strong. I laid in bed on my phone for about two hours, doing nothing. Reading articles about speculation that Ember was my new girlfriend. I didn’t mind that rumor. It made me feel nice. A soft knock was on the door soon afterwards. “Come in,” I answered.

Ember walked in. Her hair was still wet, but not dripping, and her clothes weren’t even clothes; they were pajamas. It was at least one o’clock or something by now, and she was wearing pajamas. Not any type of pajamas. A onesie. An Eeyore onesie with a tail. “This has to be the best moment of my life,” I commented.

“Oh hush. You have to have one. In fact, everyone either should have one, or needs one. You said you guys bought the whole floor out, right?” I nodded. “Then let’s throw a floor-wide pajama party.”

“I don’t think the guys will want to do that.”

“I think we do!” Everyone, and I mean everyone, stood outside the door, Louis being their speaker. “C’mon, Harry. Loosen up, have some fun for once.”

“Yeah, Harry, have some fun,” Ember poked.

I sighed and rushed my finger through the top of my hair. “O-Okay. Fine, whatever. But I don’t have a onesie.”

“Perfectly fixable problem! Local stores have some.” Ember was particularly happy for someone who'd been crying all night. But I decided not to sour the moment. “Let’s go. I’ll throw something on.” And that she did. In the hot L.A. heat, she put on a white spaghetti strapped tank top along with UGG boots and sweatpants. The sweatpants and boots made me hot just looking at them. But she looked fine once we got outside, looping her arm into mine.

I remembered Louis words, to loosen up. So, I did. And loosening up had to be the best thing I’d done in months. We walked through every store but every single onesie we looked through, “Looks weird,” or is, “Too bunchy on the crotch,” or it, “Just doesn’t match.” We finally found one; a kangaroo. “Of all things,” I said, “a kangaroo?”

“Why not? It’s adorable! I love it.”

We were held together in one dressing room, which she insisted upon. “Are you okay?” I knew I told myself to not bring it up, but I had to.

“I’m fine. Just trying to be a little happy considering current circumstances. My relationship with Ben isn’t exactly the best so I might as well take advantage of the time here.” The look in my eyes must have changed, because her’s did too. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“It’s fine, whatever. Let’s go.”

➳ ➳

When we returned to the hotel, Josie, along with all the other females on the floor took it as their responsibility to “decorate”. Every floor was covered in a mattress. Even when walking out of the elevator, you stepped onto one, and it just extended. They must have asked for them. At the end of the hallway, where it split into a left and right corridor, there seemed to be a slide of mattresses stacked to the ceiling. Niall walked out of one of the rooms, “This place is perfect.”

Ember excused herself to get back into her pajamas. A pajama party. Thanks to me, it was now ruined between the two of us. I went to my room to change, too. When we returned, everyone had some type of animal or character on. It was actually kinda nice, cute, if you will. I was a kangaroo and Ember was Eeyore. Eeyore looked a lot happier when on her. I walked up to her after a while. Music was loud and there were a few bottles of alcohol (that a certain amount of us shouldn’t be drinking in this country) laying around. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. I just feel bad that I made it sound like I was using you. You know that’s not my intention.”

I pulled her into my room, across the hall. No music was playing and it was fairly quiet. “Actually, no. I don’t know your intentions, Ember. I never do. You’re so unpredictable. You get happy and sad and mad and flirty and I just can’t keep up.”

“Have you taken your meds?”

“This isn’t about me! Stop trying to make it about me! It’s about you. It’s all about you. You do this. Y-You flirt with me and let me help you and come to me, but you constantly talk about how much you love Ben, how Ben is so amazing. I know I don’t know you, because you don’t know me, honestly. If you want to be with Ben, go ahead. But you can stop trying to act like you want me to be with you.”

“You obviously haven’t had any new friends. I flirt with you? Sure, I do. Maybe it’s just you not knowing the difference between being nice and flirting. If you weren’t so fucking crazy, maybe you’d know. I let you help me and I come to you, because we’re friends! That’s what friends do! You’re so used to having the same friends, you don’t even know what a real one is anymore! I now see why no girl has come close to you in so long… you’re truly insane.” None of it. None of it mattered, what she said. It didn’t matter until she muttered those last words. “No wonder Ellie left you.”

My first instinct was to grab her; so I did. I grabbed her arm, it was flimsy and weaker than mine. I knew I was holding it too hard, subconsciously, because I was using muscle. My grip was tight, but I couldn’t stop. I didn’t until we stood in the light of the moon from the open window. I saw the look in her eyes and how she breathed. Ember was afraid of me. Maybe she’s right; maybe I am crazy. The phone on the bedside table rang. I looked into her eyes once more before letting go and answering the phone. It took so long to let go of her arm, because I thought of her arm as her. If I let go of her arm, I was letting go of her. “Hello?”

“Is this Mr. Styles?” A lady with a small voice asked.

“Yes. Is there a problem?”

“Actually, yes. Residents are complaining about the loud music. Would you mind turning it down?”

“Yeah, sure,” I sighed. She hung up first. It seemed everyone, whether I knew them or not, left first. When I turned around, Ember was out of my room. And probably out of my life.

➳ ➳

I don’t remember falling asleep. But I do remember waking up sweating. I hadn’t worn a onesie in years, but this morning reminded me why. They are very hot. The coolness, or lack there of, reminded me of last night. I sat up and changed into some boxers and a t-shirt, advancing to Ember’s room.

I knocked once. Then twice. Three times. The fourth got me worried, and the fifth scared me half to death. The sixth was when I realized the door was cracked open. The mattress was replaced, although most were still in the hallway. The bed was made, couch placed perfectly, bathroom cleaned, and luggage gone.

Liam sat on the couch with a bag of fries and a burger. “Hangover food,” he explained. “Ember and Josie left this morning, ‘round two. Left with that Ben asswipe. Josie’s something. I really do like her.” I nodded and sat next to him, sighing. “Sigh once more if you’re part of the reason they left.” I hesitated, but sighed. “I currently hate you.”

“She does too.”

Notes

sorry, it's super late.. volunteering tomorrow, too stressed

ONLY TWO AND A HALF MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL FINALLYYYYYY

means more writing & getting things done.. love your cute faces, byeeee x