Suicidal.

I go to the only place that I knew could keep me safe. The place were I had so many memories with Louis. I head for the beach. Spending summer from the world tour in l.a was great.
I pulled up to the beach. It's about 11 at night. I get out of the car and head towards the little cove we found 3 months ago. I remember it like it was just yesterday.
It was midday me and Louis were melting in his apartment. So we decided to go to the beach. We searched all day just walking and holding hands in private making sure we were completely away from fans and paparazzi.
Then we saw it. It was a cove. It was beautiful. It had rocks that you could sit on and stuff and they even had little tiny tide pools. The starfish were amazing. We shared all of our salty beach kisses. We went surfing hidden by the cove then came in when it was to cold or we were to tired then watched the sun set.
It was beautiful.
It was cold out tonight. I walked into the cove taking in all it's beauty. I looked at the water. Even at this time of night it still looked inviting. Might as well, pneumonia couldn't compare to this pain in my chest. I take of my shirt shoes and pants, I take out my phone and wallet and set them on a dry spot. I jumped into the water. Flashes of Louis laugh flashing into my mind, over and over again. His sweet caring laugh when I told him a stupid joke.
I remember when we came out to surf he'd pull me underwater and we'd kiss. I remember how cute and cheeky it all was. I loved it. I felt like nothing could take us away from that moment. All i could do was swim out farther hoping that Louis would be their waiting. I can hear him laughing. Giggling at something I'd said. I swam out farther closer to him. He could love me. We could be safe here. No one to judge us hear. I held my breath and went down. Under the water. I swam to the very bottom of the beach. Feeling the burning in my lungs. Fire erupted in my lungs and I shot back up to the surface. Gasping for air.

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