Study of Life and Love

Indiana

I spotted Thea first, her blue hair peaking out form under a beanie. It was Caydance beside her that had surprised me; she had completely covered all her red hair with a black wig. It made her look completely different.

“What are you two doing?” I whispered, leaning over the shrubs to better talk to the two girls hiding. They jumped, guilty eyes turning away from one direction and towards me.

“Get in here,” Caydance hissed, grabbing my arm and yanking me into the bush.

I was reminded of all those months ago, of finding Thea in the bushes with both Zayn and Louis while they spied on Niall and Sidney. It seemed that we were once again spying on the same people.

“I almost expect Zayn and Louis to be around here somewhere. Honestly why are you always spying on them?” I teased Thea to the confusion of Caydance.

“Louis? Zayn? Spying? Have you spied on them before, without me?” she looked affronted. “And with Louis and Zayn? I’m disgusted that you would choose them.”

“I was forced into it,” Thea rolled her eyes and didn’t take her eyes of Sidney and Niall. “And we aren’t talking about that, or them, or him.”

I stared, confused between the both them.

“Thea is keeping her mind off of Louis by convincing herself that Niall has brainwashed Sidney.”

I sunk down from my knees and onto my butt, making myself comfortable in the dirt now that I realised I was going to be here awhile.

“So Louis told her?” I clung onto the first bit of information that Caydance had fed me. Thea shot me a confused look before turning back around. She was like a cat that didn’t want to be part of the conversation but I could practically see her ears focusing on us.

“I told her,” Caydance admitted. I turned to glare at her.

“You promised you wouldn’t say anything until he told her himself.” I growled at her, I had made sure that Caydance had agreed to this. It was my one rule before I agreed to help her find out.

“Wait, what? You promised? Indi knew as well. How did you girls even know?” Thea had fully turned to us now. Niall and Sidney were long forgotten as they sat undisturbed in their candlelit dinner.

“We kind of did some researching and talked to a few people. Zayn blabbed, he blabbed so much when Indiana asked him.”

I glared at Caydance. “He blabbed because he expected me to keep it quiet so his best friend wouldn’t be hurt.” I said meaningfully. Zayn had told me about Louis and his relationships in confidence and I didn’t want him to stop trusting me. Not when I had finally started to trust him. But telling Caydance was too natural, she was my best friend, I couldn’t not tell her. Not when she realised that you knew something.

“What did you two even find out?” Thea asked.

Caydance shook her head. “Nope, nope. Remember you didn’t want to find out. You told me not to mention him again.”

I didn’t know what Caydance was playing at but Thea looked seconds away from snapping, mentally. All the calmness she had acquired while being away for a week seemed to have disappeared and instead her mental stability was balancing on the edge of a precipice.

Sometimes I wandered how much Caydance realised that what she was playing at could hurt the people around her. Her need to be all knowing about everything and everyone around her could seriously jeopardize her relationships.

“What on God’s green Earth are you two doing?”

I squealed with the other two, my heart jumping as I looked up at the deep voice that had broken into my thoughts and our hideaway. It was Louis, Louis and Zayn.

I coughed choking on the spit I had inhaled too quickly in my surprise. Caydance was kind enough to thump me on the back before I smiled sweetly up at the two boys.

“Are you girls spying?” Zayn asked, crouching down next to me so he too was hidden by the bush. Louis hesitated before joining Thea’s side.

“Like either of you haven’t done it,” Caydance scoffed. “I was just informed when you two were spying on Sidney and Niall.”

“Are we spying on them again? Why this time?” Louis asked, peering around Thea who shifted on the spot and leant away from him. Zayn leant over and tugged on Caydance’s wig. His expression showing how confused he was.

“Thea thinks that Niall had brainwashed Sidney.” Caydance said matter of factly before slapping Zayn’s hands from tugging on her wig. Thea rolled her eyes.

“She’s just not acting like her usual self that is all.” Thea tried to defend. Before anyone could say anything she stood up and dusted herself off. Her eyes not meeting anyone’s as she made a hasty excuse before disappearing out of the bushes and down the lighted pathway.

Louis sighed and slumped where he was sitting. “Is she still annoyed about the whole Ball thing?” Louis asked both Caydance and I.

I panicked going blank as Zayn’s curious gaze speared through me.

“Not exactly. I should go check that she’s okay. Indi.” Caydance patted my head before climbing out of the bushes and ran after Thea.

Both the boys turned their attention to me and I cursed the day that I ever met Caydance.

“I should head back to my dorm now. Got an early class.”

“It’s only seven p.m.” Zayn said, his eyes narrowed as if he had figured out everything.

“Uhuh, like I said, early class.” I stood up and brushed myself off before climbing out of the bushes.

“I’ll walk you home,” Zayn called, joining my side quickly.

I heard Louis groan from the bushes. “That’s fine, perfectly fine. I’ll just be here, all by myself.” He hummed the song to himself, being carried away in his distraction and distracting Zayn in the process.

I took this as my chance to head off, before Zayn could follow. I should have known it didn’t work.

“Please tell me that you did not tell Caydance what I told you in confidence the other day.” Zayn hurried to my side, brushing stray bits of dark black hair out of his eyes. Eyes that told me they knew everything.

I stopped walking and turned to face him as his eyes clouded over.

“It’s Caydance, you know what she’s like. She would have beat it out of me.”

Zayn’s eyes darkened further and I flinched when my words caught up with me.

“Sorry that was tactless but I mean come on, you know what Caydance is like.” I pleaded with him.

“Yeah I do. But I also know that you can be the most stubborn person alive when it’s necessary because I’ve fucking experienced it.” Zayn’s voice was low which made him cussing even worse. He was angrier than I had expected.

“I’m sorry, okay.” I frowned and reached out for him. Not wanting him to be angry with me. He stepped out of reach.

“I trust you completely, with everything. And I accept that you won’t tell me everything. But I trust you to keep what I tell you to yourself.” Zayn’s words were cutting and I felt helpless not realising that me telling Caydance was a big deal at all.

“I better go make sure Louis’ okay.” Zayn stepped away and I uselessly stood there and watched him head back the way we had walked.

-

I watched as Zayn pretended not to notice me, keeping his eyes focused on the soccer match in front of us. He was talking to someone on his other side. A King’s boy that I had never met.

“He’s probably already over it.” Caydance said from next to me. Her eyes watching as the ball was thrown back into the game.

“Caydance he’s over there and not talking to me, he won’t even look at me. Fix this. It’s your fault anyway.”

She turned her cool sharp gaze onto me. “I did not force you to tell me what you did, I didn’t force you to do anything. This isn’t on me; this is on you for not realising that you are in a relationship with a boy that relies heavily on trust and emotion despite how much he acts like he’s not bothered. So man up and apologise and buy him flowers or whatever it is that you need to do to make it right.”

I glared back at her. “You’re rude when you haven’t had sex you know.” I growled out to her. “You planning on buying Harry flowers to apologise for not meeting his Mum yesterday?”

“There was an emergency.” She snapped.

“No, I’m pretty sure it was you chickening out,” I replied nastily before getting up from the bench and making my way back to the grandstands.

I could see Cecile from the bottom so I made my way up to her and where I had left my bag.

“Did you she give you any good advice?” Cecile asked when I sat.

“Yeah, don’t ask Caydance for help when she hasn’t had sex in the last twenty-four hours.” I grumbled, reaching into my bag and pulling out my sketchpad.

Cecile snorted. “If it makes you feel any better Zayn totally watched you walk up the stairs. So you know he doesn’t completely ignore you, he just doesn’t want others to know he still likes you. Or for you to know.”

I rolled my eyes at Cecile. “That, strangely, does not make me feel any better.”

We were quiet for a moment as I flipped to a blank page and began sketching outlines that I had become to know too well over the last couple of months.

“My first plan is still available. We make you look smoking hot for tonight’s party and you can wow him with your sexy legs and…” She trailed off as I shot her a disbelieving look.

“Nope, just nope.” I popped the p and went back to my sketch, finishing the basic sketch of the hairline.

Cecile left it be and by the end of the game I had finished my sketch and had it waiting in the palm of my hand. I rushed down the grandstand before everyone had started to stand and made my way over to Zayn where was celebrating with his boys. I could see Caydance yelling at a retreating Harry’s back who casually made his way over to us like there was nothing wrong.

“Zayn,” I called his name to grab his attention as I slid through the sweaty bodies and against his side.

“I’m sorry.” I tried not to whine; I didn’t know how to do this. I didn’t know how to do a relationship but I felt like crap when the smile slid of Zayn’s face. As if he suddenly remembered all the reasons there were not too smile. I stuffed the drawing into his hand anyway and slipped back through the sweaty bodies.

Despite Cecile’s insistence I decided not to go to the party that night. With both Zayn and Caydance mad at me I didn’t exactly feel welcome. But I pushed her out the door and settled myself down on the bed, happy to surround myself in study. I was falling behind more than I usually did because of my sudden and unusual social group this year.

It was getting late and my eyes were growing tired. I had given up on studying and was lazily tracing the outline of a drawing I had made of my Mum while I was on holidays. I fought the instinct to shade in the area around her left eye. I was curious if it had faded away or had been replaced with a new bruise by now.

There was a thud at the door that shocked me, my pencil slipping from my hand and rolling of the bed and onto the floor. That was a noise from outside before what sounded like a knock on the door. Giggling erupted soon after.

Cecile had probably forgotten her key; I climbed out of the bed sheets and padded my way over to the door.

It wasn’t Cecile on the other side. It was Zayn, Zayn with messy hair, bloodshot eyes and a small smile on his face that immediately dropped when he saw me. No one else was with him, which meant that Zayn had somehow made it to my dorm, drunk and giggling, by himself. I almost felt like rewarding him until he pushed past and into my room, whining.

“Why didn’t you come to the part?” He whined, flopping down on my bed, his limbs sprawled carelessly. “I was waiting for you and everything. Stood near the door so I could see you come in but then I was going to play it cool and maybe forgive you.”

I closed the door behind me but stayed near it, not sure how to handle Zayn right now.

“But then Cecile came and you weren’t with her,” he shot me a glare. “So I got drunk.”

His hands gestured around him as if I wasn’t already aware that he was drunk.

“You were going to forgive me?” I asked, choosing to stick with that thread and moved closer to the bed, peering down at Zayn whose dark black hair fanned out behind him. His eyes stared up at me and despite the frown on his lips, his eyes held nothing but warmth.

“I don’t know, maybe if you had come to the party.” He talked like a toddler, stumbling over his own tongue.

I smiled down at him fondly. Finding it cute despite his glare.

“I’m sorry for telling Caydance,” I said gently, crouching down so my face was closer to where his head rested.

His eyes went slightly cross-eyed before focusing on me properly. “We can’t talk about it right now, I’m too drunk and will probably forgive you.”

There were two thuds at the end of the bed and both of Zayn’s shoes had been kicked off onto the floor.

“We will talk in the morning. I’m sleepy.” Zayn stifled a yawn and began to close his eyes. I sighed accepting that Zayn was going to be staying in my bed and I found I didn’t exactly care.

“Move over,” I grumbled, shoving him to one side of the single bed. He grumbled and moaned but allowed me to push him before I stood up and turned off the light.

I found my way back to the bed, pushing Zayn’s shoes out of the way so Cecile didn’t trip on them when she got home.

I climbed into bed and under the blankets. Zayn was lying on top of them and I wasn’t caring enough to get him under. I also wasn’t strong enough. Zayn was a dead weight next to me, he smelled strongly of alcohol and sweat but also a lot like Zayn and the cologne he seemed to favour. I turned to watch his eyelashes flutter in the dark, the streetlights from outside the building lightened up enough of his features that I could see he wasn’t wholly asleep, yet.

“I’m sorry,” I said again, reaching out and running my fingers gently through Zayn’s hair before trailing down along his cheek.

He made a small noise of comfort and rolled his head to look at me. One of his hands reached up and grabbed mine, lacing our fingers together and leaving them to rest on the bed between us.

“I’ll forgive you in the morning,” Zayn said easily, his eyes fluttering shut this time and his breathes slowly evening out.

I smiled and leant forward to press a peck against his nose. He didn’t react.

-

A phone was buzzing from somewhere outside of the warm bubble I had found myself in. My fingers twitched towards the noise and feeling before I had the energy to push one eye open. The sun hit them immediately and I winced. I wasn’t even hungover but I was too comfortable to even consider wanting to climb out of bed.

“Make it stop,” Zayn mumbled from where his nose was buried in the back of my head. My short strand of hairs were probably covering his eyes enough that the sun wasn’t bothering him yet.

I could feel his warm arms wrapped tightly around my stomach and I pushed against them as I tried to reach for my phone that was vibrating once again on my bedside table.

I snatched it before it rolled off and turned my eyes onto the screen.

I had five missed calls from my Mum. I sat up, pulling completely out of Zayn’s arms and ignored his groans of annoyance.

Unlocking my screen I went straight to the messages. Worry clawing it’s way up my throat. Why would she call five times in such a short amount of time? Flashes of the car accident swept through my mind.

“S’wrong?” Zayn scared me, his head right behind my ear and his arms once again worming around my stomach. His nose ran along my back from one shoulder to another. I shivered and focused on the text.

Honey, answer your phone. Your father and I decided to stop in for a visit. We’ve already parked.

“Indi?” Zayn asked but once again I found myself scrambling out of his warm arms and out of the bed this time.

“I have to go.” I murmured, eyes not meeting Zayn’s as I quickly threw on clothes that were within my reach before messily running my fingers through my hair.

“What is it?” Zayn was becoming more awake, my choices not to answer him were only making him worry more, alertness spreading through his body.

I forced a smile and leant towards the bed, pressing my lips to his. “I just remembered I was supposed to be meeting someone, we’ll talk later okay?”

I rushed out of the room before he could reply. My single focus was keeping my parents far away from Zayn or any of my friends. I didn’t for a second doubt what Zayn or Caydance could be capable off it they saw my father.

Notes

Showdown between Indiana's parents and Zayn? Maybe? :)