Study of Life and Love

Thea

I thanked the cab driver as he pulled my suitcase out of the trunk of the car. He nodded at me before getting back into the cab and I turned to the large house in front of me. A smile split across my face as my heart widened with warmth. I had missed this house and the girls inside of it even after one week.

“Thea?”

I turned at the sound of my name and saw Riley and Nina rushing up to me, their bags smacking wildly against their hips. I laughed and reached out to pull them both against me, the smells of their hair overloading my senses for a few brief moments.

“How are you both? How’s everything been going without me?” I asked sweetly, grabbing onto my suitcase and rolling it up the pavement to the stairs.

“Same old.” Riley shrugged.

“Liam asked Riley out, officially. Came to the door to ask permission and everything.” Nina blurted.

“Very old-fashioned.” I laughed wandering whose idea it was for Liam to use the old rules for the houses. “When’s the first date then? Well the first date now that it’s allowed?” I asked watching Riley go pink.

I turned to pull my suitcase up the couple of stairs that led to the front door.

“In three nights time. He won’t tell me where we’re going.” Riley shrugged, trying to hide her excitement. She failed at it.

“Well I know Liam and I know that it’s probably going to be really romantic.” I assured her, ignoring the small stab of jealousy that threatened to bloom.

We walked through the front door and were greeted by a screaming match. I blinked, not really surprised but also surprised about who was yelling. Leah was storming off into the freshmen hallway with Olivia yelling at her back before she stormed up the stairs.

“What was that about?” I asked, confused.

“Leah’s parents don’t know that she’s a lesbian and Olivia did what Olivia does best and was incredibly blunt.” Rhiannon turned to us. “In other words she called Leah a child and immature. Welcome back, it’s good to see you. Sidney’s in the kitchen.” Rhiannon said this all in one breath before disappearing out the front door behind us.

I paused, perplexed. Rhiannon wasn’t usually that distant. Riley and Nina let me be as I left my suitcase in the foyer and headed into the kitchen looking for Sidney. She was in there, giggling against Niall’s chest. Her hands tightly wrapped around his waist. I paused, not used to seeing Sidney so freely showing affection in public.

“Hey,” I said, calling their attention to me.

Sidney looked up, her smile blinding before it slid into confusion. She pushed away from Niall and walked over.

“You were supposed to tell me when you were coming back so I could get you from the station.” She reprimanded before pulling me into a hug. I smiled feeling my world slightly tilt back to where it was supposed to be.

“It didn’t hurt me to take a cab, and anyways it seems you have your hands full.” I hinted at the episode that just happened in the foyer but Sidney only looked confused.

“The screaming that just happened.”

Sidney shared a confused look with Niall. I gaped at her, unsure how she couldn’t hear it unless her and Niall were in their own little soundproofed bubble.

“Olivia and Leah just had a screaming match in the foyer before stomping off from each other and also Rhiannon’s being weird is she okay?”

Sidney frowned. “Rhiannon’s fine. She’s back with Connor and I didn’t even know Leah and Olivia were having troubles.”

I frowned at Sidney. It wasn’t like her not to know. She wasn’t nosy but it was her job to ensure that everyone was okay. And that included if their relationships were okay too, the leaders of the house were nicknamed mothers for a good reason.

“Where’s Caydance?” I asked, knowing that she would have to have some answers.

“In her room,” Sidney smiled, seeming happy to know at least one answer. I nodded and smiled at Niall before heading out of the kitchen and grabbing my suitcase.

I dropped it in my room before heading over to Caydance’s closed bedroom door.

“Caydee? Are you in there? It’s Thea,” I rapped my knuckles against the door lightly and began to open it up. There was a muffled curse and a thud and I once again was met with Harry Styles lying on the floor of Caydance’s room, sheets tangled around his lower body.

I went pink but nodded at him anyway. “Harry.”

“Thea,” he smiled warmly, trying to act like he wasn’t just doing what we both knew he was just doing.

Caydance took my distraction to throw Harry’s shirt over her pale frame; she was still wearing jeans.

“You’re back.” She grinned, climbing off the bed to come over and hug me. I hugged her back. Her mess of red hair filling my vision and she smelled strongly of male deodorant. Probably from Harry rubbing himself all over her.

“Am I interrupting?” I asked unnecessarily. I was met with two different answers.

“Yes,” from Harry.

“No.” Caydance said more firmly. Smiling at Harry over her shoulder. “Nothing that he can’t take care of himself. I’m sure he’s had lots of practice.” Caydance said the last part to me, pushing me out of the room.

The door shutting with a final click cut off Harry’s curses. Caydance led me over to my own bedroom and made herself comfortable on my bed. Her hair was still a wild tangled mess.

“How was your week away?” She asked.

“Good,” I nodded, feeling better that Caydance was her normal self, sneaking Harry into her bedroom. Even though I was surprised that she had done it in the middle of the day. Even she wouldn’t normally be that risky. “Actually great. I feel really good. Refreshed. I spent some time to catch up with old friends and went out with some of my cousins so it was really good.”

I wasn’t lying. I felt like all my troubles had been swept off my shoulder. My life was lighter, brighter then it was a week ago. I had caught up on studies that I had begun to lag behind in as well spent time with family and friends enjoying the easy laughs and warm hugs. It had all been so easy and comfortable to slip into, amongst them all.

“Great, well about Louis­ —.”

I cut Caydance off. “Don’t.” I said quickly. “I feel good and happy and before this I didn’t because I let myself revolve around him so much that it was darkening my life. I don’t wanna be over dramatic about this but please don’t ruin this with whatever you want to tell me about Louis. I can move on, and I’m going to.”

Caydance paused, pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth. She looked indecisive. Unsure what to say next before her shoulders drooped and she nodded. “Yeah, okay, I wont mention him.” She promised holding out her pinky. I laughed and reached out, hooking them together and we did three quick shakes.

“What we do need to talk about is Sidney.” I sat down on the bed next to her. “And why she is all over Niall in the kitchen and has no idea about Olivia, Leah and Rhiannon.”

“That’s not all she doesn’t know about.” Caydance sighed. “This past week she’s been absent. It kinda happened the day after you left she’s spent more time with Niall which is great and all but she also hasn’t been to any dinners this past week, Rhiannon isn’t talking to anyone and is barely in the house and the yelling I heard downstairs is the fourth fight Olivia and Leah have had this week. Lisa’s been crying in her room because her grandmother passed away and Sidney doesn’t know. June tripped up the stairs and her ankle is swollen but she won’t go to the doctors and Sidney shrugged and said we can’t make her. And that’s not all.”

I gaped at Caydance. “Why haven’t you done anything?” I asked.

She shrugged and smirked at me. “I’ve been able to have Harry in my room for basically seven days straight without worrying she will spot me. I’ve had so much sex I’m not sure I even know how to live without Harry’s dick in me.”

I gaped at her wordlessly. “That was really way too much information. Like I might just vomit.” I said weakly. Wishing away the images that tried to float into my head.

She laughed and shrugged and I was reminded why I was next in line for housemother and not Caydance. She was a leader at heart but she was a leader for herself. She was aware of all the things going around her and she found a way to make it better for herself not the people around her. She wasn’t horribly selfish but she was too selfish to be a leader to all these girls.

Caydance was fully aware of this and did not care one single bit. She would rather be a dictator than a leader because that meant she wouldn’t have to listen or care about what other people needed. She only did that when she felt like it.

-

It wasn’t always weird to have Sidney not be around for breakfast. But because she hadn’t been at dinner last night and I knew that the reason she was skipping our meals wasn’t because of studying felt weird. It felt cutting and I was angry with her, well as angry as I could be. I was also seriously worried. Brainwash started to become a real possibility and Niall was the number one suspect.

I moved through the crowds of students all heading to their classes. Early enough that some students were still bleary eyed. Hands clutching desperately at coffee. Others more refreshed, obviously having a good nights sleep. I found Olly, holding a warm cup of tea close to his chest while he inhaled the smell.

“Hey,” I fell into the seat beside him as the lecture theatre began to fill up around us.

“You’re back,” he smiled warmly, briefly turning away from the smell of tea to smile at me.

“And you look like you need a weeks break,” I commented.

Olly rolled his eyes. “My roommate decided that he does his best studying at two in the morning so guess who gets a desk lamp waking them up every five minutes.” He grumbled. I frowned, not even knowing if I had ever met Olly’s roommate. “I’m so close to throwing the light out when I get back to my dorm.”

I couldn’t comment on his predicament any further, a hush fell over the crowd and the last few people took their seats while our lecturer took their place behind the microphone.

I fell back into the easy rhythm of listening and taking notes. Olly gradually woke up, taking more notes as the lecture went on and by then end of the lecture and one finished tea, he was looking at me without yawning.

“You up for some food? I’m grabbing a muffin or two.” Olly offered as we collected our stuff. I happily followed, my stomach already grumbling despite not long eating breakfast.

“How was your week off? I collected some notes for you.”

I smiled gratefully at Olly. “It was good, really good actually. I got to spend time with my parents and I even caught up with some old friends from school. I ran into my best friend from Grade One and she has the cutest little boy already. I think I have over a hundred photos of him on my phone.” I pulled my phone out and leant against Olly so I could show him the photos.

“Surprisingly I didn’t realise how much I needed that time away until I took it.” I dropped my bag on the table of a café that Olly stopped at.

“We all burn out at some point Thea. It’s just the way of Uni students.” Olly winked before heading inside to order. I dropped down into my seat and kept scrolling through my phone, smiling at the cute little boy that filled my screen.

“Cute kid.”

I looked up in surprise to see Daniel Alston looking over my shoulder.

“He yours?”

I gaped and was met with a wink and a smirk. “I’m joking, Thea, I would have hoped I would have met your kid by now if you had one.”

Daniel dropped down into the seat next to me without even asking. I found myself not minding.

“He’s a friend from homes kid.” I explained, putting my phone down on the table.

Daniel smiled at me. “I heard you went home for a week, missed you around here.” I flushed feeling weird that Daniel noticed but nervous fluttering also spread through my stomach. It was a nice feeling, to be missed.

“We’ll have to catch up sometime then.” I said boldly, biting my lip at how much wider Daniel’s smile grew.

“I’d like that Thea, really.”

I blushed under Daniel’s quiet tone, his eyes staring straight at me.

“I better go, you’re friends coming back and I have classes. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” He said it so assuredly like there was no reason under the sun why we would not talk again.

Olly sat a muffin in front of me and stared intensely his eyes skipping between me and Daniel’s retreating back.

“What?” I laughed, picking up the small fork so I could eat my muffin.

“I’m sorry but why was Daniel Alston sitting in my chair.”

“He was just saying hi.” I shrugged, not making eye contact.

“Mhmm, well I’m not the only one who saw this whole debacle.”

I looked up at Olly waiting for the explanation.

“Louis’ inside, he was watching you through the windows.”

I resisted looking around to see if Louis was still in the area.

“He’s sitting about three tables to your right and still staring at you.” Olly supplied.

I still didn’t look, instead picking my phone back up. My hands twitched and my eyes wanted to wander but I refrained.

“I gotta admit, you’ve got more self control here than I expected.”

“Just stop it Olly. I don’t care anymore.” I said firmly.

Olly looked taken aback, pausing with his fork halfway to his mouth. His eyes strayed to my right and he frowned, deeply. I held up my hand before he could open his mouth. I didn’t want to hear it anymore. How was I supposed to move on and leave Louis out of my life if my friends kept bringing him up? I couldn’t make everyone pinky promise never to mention him again. But I needed them to stop attempting to help or whatever they thought they were doing.

-

Louis caught up to me before I finished my day. I was only steps away from the front garden of the house when his hand clasped around my wrist.

“Thea, hey.” He said almost breathless. His hair was swept to the side like usual but the deep breathing of his chest hinted that he had maybe run to catch up to me.

“Hey,” I forced a smile, trying not to analyse the way I felt too much. Like seeing him brightened my day or in any way made me feel more - more anything I guess.

“I uh got some notes for you from our class?” He rubbed a hand through the back of his hair, eyes downcast. “Maybe we could go over them later?”

I stared, distracted, as Sidney left the house and made her way across the road heading towards Kings. It was only ten minutes until dinner.

“How often has Sidney been joining you guys for dinner?” I asked.

Louis paused, a crease forming between his eyebrows and he spared a glance at Sidney.

“She hasn’t. Her and Niall have been going off somewhere.” He shrugged. “But about the notes?”

I looked back at him and saw him waiting expectantly. “Oh, um thanks. I’ll have to borrow them off you later, I’ve got to do a few things in the house tonight.”

I thought of how much studying Sidney must be getting done to head off with Niall all the time. Unless she wasn’t spending as much time with Niall as we all thought. I worried that maybe she had been sneaking off to the library and studying there, God knows if she had been eating or not.

“Look I wanna apologise for what happened at the Ball. I shouldn’t have made such a scene.” Louis apologising almost shocked me into silence. I don’t think I had ever heard him apologise to anyone before.

“And if you want to date him fine, but there’s things about Alston that you don’t know Thea, and I’m just worried about you. How well do you actually know him?”

I gaped at Louis. “That’s really none of your business.” I insisted. My eyes strayed as Olivia stomped past us on the pavement and into Grace House. She didn’t even smile as she walked past.

“I’m allowed to be worried about you,” Louis insisted, grabbing onto my arm to keep my attention, but it was already too late. I needed to head inside and sort whatever was going on with my housemates.

“Look, Louis, I have to go.” I turned back to him, briefly to pull my arm out of his grasp. “If you see Sidney at yours can you tell her that we need her here?” I asked before heading up the stairs and into the house without waiting for a reply.

I was bombarded by Caydance before I had even shut the door behind me.

“You talked to Louis? What did you guys talk about? Did he tell you?”

I stared at her before looking around for Olivia, she was already halfway up the stairs.

“I’ll talk to you later,” I tried to push past her.

“Look I get it, you probably need time to think or whatever but it will be good for you to talk about this because him being in love with you is a really big deal.” Caydance gushed, following my steps towards the stairs.

I stopped mid first step. “Wait, what? Who are you talking about?” I was momentarily distracted from following Olivia to stare at Caydance.

Who was in love with who?

Her smile faltered, and for a second I think Caydance realised she had made a mistake. Maybe I would receive two apologies from two people, who rarely give them, in a space of five minutes. Maybe I was dying…

“He didn’t tell you he loved you?”

“He loves me?” I repeated weakly, voice hoarse and mind whirring. “What?”

Notes

Thank you to everyone for all your wonderful messages. I'm glad that you are still wanting to read it so much! :D