Study of Life and Love

Caydance

I sighed in annoyance, sprawled across Harry’s bed as he stubbornly did not come back after disappearing from the doorway.

I felt Luke’s eyes on me from where he sat on his bed, surrounded by textbooks.

“You gonna go after him?” He asked.

I rolled my head so I could see him. “No,” I sighed, “he’ll come back.”

Luke snorted, like he knew this was highly unlikely. I groaned and buried my head in Harry’s pillows, breathing in the smell of his shampoo. It was comforting and made me miss him even more.

“You should have showed up.” Luke mumbled.

I lifted my head up to glare at him. “I had an emergency, okay?” I bit back.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, clearly not believing me.

“I did,” I insisted, chewing on my lip. I didn’t, I chickened out and Harry knew that.

Louis leant against the doorframe. “Can you please get out of Harry’s room so he can stop hiding in mine?”

I grumbled and climbed out of Harry’s bed, fully prepared to storm into Louis’ but he stopped me, grabbing my arm.

“Leave him alone Caydance. You harassed him last night at the party; you’ve been hiding in his room all morning. Just let the guy be angry with you.”

“I’m trying to apologise.” I grumbled, not afraid to pout at Louis, hoping he would do something about my problem. He just rolled his eyes.

“You chickened out on meeting his Mum.” Louis crossed his arms over his chest.

“I had an emergency.” I lied.

Louis rolled his eyes again. I hoped they would fall out. “You didn’t have an emergency. You chickened out, didn’t show up for lunch with his Mum and didn’t even message him. You stood him up in front of his Mum.”

Louis saying it like that made it sound so much worse.

“You know, I never quite figured out what you were so insecure about. You’re the most confident person I know with an amazing family and yet every time you’re in a relationship it’s like you’re ashamed of them.”

I glared at Louis, reaching out to shove his chest. “I’m not ashamed of them. You know that.”

“Then why the hell do you keep freaking out when it comes to families? The only family you’ve ever met is mine and Zayn’s, and we’re basically yours.” Louis was getting in my face, his chest pushing back against my hands.

“Louis don’t,” Harry’s voice came from behind Louis. I peered around Louis’ shoulder where Harry stood. His hair was limper but his eyes were angry.

“Harry,” I tentatively took a step forward. Harry glared.

“I begged you for forgiveness and swore I wouldn’t hide you but the moment I give you what you want and let you meet my family you freak out. And you embarrassed me in front of my mother and made me feel like I was nothing.” Harry spoke tonelessly, his eyes staring straight past me. “Figure out whatever it is you’re afraid of then come and talk to me. Until then I don’t even want to see you.”

Harry pushed past the both of us and slammed his bedroom door behind him.

“Way to make the calmest guy I know into a dramatic sap.” Louis poked me in the side.

I slapped his hand away. “Grow up Louis.”

He scoffed.

“You’re the one so hopelessly in love but too afraid to admit it.”

Louis flinched, his eyes clouding over and I grinned in satisfaction. I wanted to hurt him. I’d spent most of my life kicking Louis off his high horse.

I walked off, making my way back through the house and towards the front door, running into Zayn.

“Can you guys go five seconds without fighting?” Zayn moaned, his eyes were bloodshot. He looked hungover and he was also in his clothes from the night before so I gathered he slept somewhere that was not his bedroom.

“Who me and Harry?” I stepped back to let him in the door. He looked confused for a second.

“Harry? I assumed you were fighting with Louis.”

“She is,” Louis cut in, “with both of us.”

“Goodbye boys.” I said firmly before shutting the front door behind me. It clicked back open but I kept moving across the front yard.

“Wait, Caydee,” Zayn’s voice stopped me. “Do you know where Indi is? She disappeared early this morning and I haven’t heard from her.”

I smiled at Zayn happy that they were talking again. Well enough that he spent the night.

“I’m not exactly talking to her right now.” I remembered snapping at her yesterday.

Zayn sighed, “Are you talking to anyone right now?”

“You,” I smiled innocently and earned Zayn’s hand ruffling through my hair. “Fix it with Harry,” he said gently. “Also stop being horrible to Louis. He’s trying.”

I took a breath accepting that Zayn might be partially right. “Yes to the Harry thing, don’t know if I can stop being mean to Louis though, it’s kinda our thing.”

I headed back to the house where Thea was heading out.

“Hey, did you sort everything out with Harry?” Thea asked.

I shook my head. “He wouldn’t talk to me.” I explained, eyeing the heeled boots she was wearing. She only ever wore those when she was trying to be a couple of inches taller. Which means she was trying to impress someone. Her dress only fell halfway down her thighs and was tighter then a dress she would wear on a normal day. The leather jacket was definitely mine.

“Where are you off to?” I asked, curious.

She shifted on the stairs, hand clutching a black clutch in her hand, lined with gold that matched her jewelry.

“You’re all matchy-matchy with your outfit.” I pulled my eyebrows together.

Her eyes strayed to the area behind me where Daniel Alston jogged up the footpath. “Sorry I’m late.” He grinned, flashing his pearly whites at both Thea and then me. He was wearing a button up shirt.

“Oh,” I frowned between the pair. They were going on a date, for lunch. A lunch date. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Thea smile sweetly, taking a step closer to Alston. “I think we can talk when I come back, don’t you?”

I opened my mouth to speak but Thea glared, forcing me to close my mouth. Sidney had told me to but out, although that was before I found out that Louis was in love with Thea. And now I couldn’t but out.

“I’ll talk to you later Caydance.” Thea grabbed onto Alston’s arm and began pushing him back down the steps. He shot an amused look over her shoulder before I turned into the house.

“Thea is going on a date with Daniel Alston.” Riley announced the moment I walked through the door.

I blinked at her. “I saw.”

“What are we going to do? She can’t be with him.” She was full of passion and hope and all the good things. I was planning on shutting her down.

“She’s already gone on a date with him Riles, it’s too late to stop that.”

“But you have another plan?” It was barely a question. She followed me towards the stairs and I felt almost proud how eager she was to know what that plan was. I had taught her well.

“Piss Louis off until he tells her himself.” I suggested, Riley looked almost disappointed. I laughed. “I’ll think on it. Go start choosing outfits for your date with Liam tonight.”

She blushed darkly. “I’ve already chosen.”

I laughed, finding it quite cute how much she was in love with him. I only hoped he was just in love with her. Liam had a way of falling in love easily. “Then go have a drink or two. You look like you’re about to puke.” I teased and headed up to the bathroom. I passed Sidney on the way; she barely glanced up from her phone to throw me a smile.

Thea was right, it was becoming unsettling how Sidney barely seemed to be here and when she was physically in the house she wasn’t mentally or emotionally.

A thought crossed my mind and I headed up to the top floor. Watching her leave through the front door from one of the windows I then headed into her room. Shutting the door behind me so no one could see me snooping.

The room was the same as usual, impeccably neat. No matter how out of character she was acting, she still kept her room clean. I glanced around the room, not really sure what I was looking for. My fingers ran across textbooks over her desk before I paused. The notebook that was left open on the desk was last dated to four days ago.

I frowned and flicked the page over but there was no more writing. The last notes she had made were from four days ago. And the last sentence was only half finished. I sat down in her chair and reached for another notebook. The last notes taken in that one were dated back over a week ago. I grabbed the other notebooks, shuffling through to see the same thing. The latest notes were four days ago and nothing since then.

I’ve never seen Sidney go a day without studying. I had just assumed she had been disappearing to hang with Niall just as much as she was disappearing to study.

Something was wrong.

-
The library was empty of Sidney. And no one I had run into had seen Sidney or Niall. It was getting later in the day and I was growing frustrated. Thea should be here doing this, not me. But instead I was the one who stuffed up my relationship and had nothing better to do. Except apologise to Harry, which I wasn’t ready for.

So finding Sidney it was.

I found Indiana instead.

She was walking with an older couple and they had seemed to have just come from the radio station. Curiosity got the better of me and I headed over there. Cutting across some grass and a small garden to reach them in time.

I smiled brightly and Indiana frowned. I was taken aback; I didn’t thinks she would be that annoyed at me for snapping at her yesterday.

“Hey Indi,” I approached hesitantly now. Her eyes were wide and her teeth worrying against her lip. This wasn’t just anger, she was nervous.

I looked to the couple behind her; they seemed nice, smiling at me happily.

The woman stood forward and held out her hand. “You a friend of Indiana’s?” She asked nicely.

“I’m Caydance,” I smiled and took her hand.

“Oh I’ve heard so much about you,” the lady responded, her smile growing larger. “I was so worried that she wouldn’t find a friend here but then you showed up.”

“Mum,” Indiana whined before quickly closing her mouth.

I froze, my eyes widening as I stared between the woman in front of me and Indiana. This woman was blonde and tall and seemed naturally tan whereas Indiana wasn’t. She was pale and small and dark haired, a lot like the man that was standing behind her. Their faces matched, nose pointed at the end, eyes just as wide and chin just as round. I couldn’t believe I didn’t notice before.

“I’m Indiana’s Dad but you can call me Brian.” The man stepped forward and held his hand out.

I stood back, a reaction I didn’t even have to think about. How dare this man stand in front of us and act like everything was normal.

Indiana reached forward, grabbing my arm and pulling me away from her family.

“Don’t say anything please,” she begged. I gaped, not taking my eyes off the man behind her. He had changed shape in the matter of seconds it had taken for realisation to hit. He was suddenly crueler, darker and more pointier. He was becoming a monster in front of my eyes.

“Caydance, please. They just wanted to stop in and see the campus, they will be gone soon.”

That pulled my attention back to her. “How can you play nice families with him.” I spat out, not even feeling guilty for the way she flinched.

“He’s doing okay right now. Going through a better time. He’s not drinking and he’s a lot more lucid than he has been in months.”

I glared down at her. “That doesn’t excuse it.” I growled out, hand clenching at my side. I wanted to remove this man from her life. I wanted to bundle her up and take her away. I wanted to punch him.

Indiana’s mum started to look worried. She hesitantly took a step towards us.

“This isn’t your fight.” Indiana bit back, her eyes growing hard.

I rolled my eyes and pulled my arm out of her grip. “You know what? Fine, you want to do this and play happy families go for it. But I’m not standing around to watch that monster.” I spun on my heel, not waiting for a response.

I felt sick. Goose bumps littered my arms. Knowing who that man was and what he did was different to actually seeing him, meeting him and watching Indiana act like it was okay. How many trips to the hospital had her or her mother done? How many bruises had caused her to flinch? How man cuts had she bandaged herself?

I hated knowing that.

I didn’t look up from the ground as I made my way away from Indiana, I didn’t want to look back and see anything more. Instead I ran into somebody, their bright red shoes filling my vision.

“Oh shit,” I glanced up but relaxed when Liam’s hands came to rest on my shoulder.

“Woah, where are you in a hurry too?” He asked.

“Better not be Harry.” Louis appeared at his side, smirk taunting his features and I knew that he wanted to rile me up but that wasn’t important right now.

“I just need to go,” I took a step to go pass them when Liam’s eyes slid behind me.

“Oh look, Zayn found Indiana.”

I froze where I was, ice sliding through my body as I turned, feeling like I had never moved slower in my life. I saw with my own eyes Zayn moving across the grass I had just trekked through and over to Indiana who had her back turned to us. She had no idea.

“Fuck no.” I swore, trying to move my feet back the way I had not wanted to go.

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked immediately realising something was up.

“That’s Indiana’s parents Lou, that’s her Dad.” I smacked him on the arm in emphasis and thank God for Louis in that moment. He clued in fast enough to run, his jolt of movement enough to set Liam and I forward to race back across the lawn.

I could already see it being too late. Zayn had already called out and Indiana was turning slowly, her eyes widening in horror. She looked ready to cry and I felt too far away despite running on the heels of Louis.

But Zayn didn’t take as long as I did to figure it out. He must have noticed the similarities straight away. He had been studying Indiana’s face a lot more intently than I had. He would recognise when she looked like someone. She was practically her father’s spitting image.

I couldn’t see his face but I saw the moment his back stiffened, his right hand curled into a fist and he swung before Louis could reach him.

He swung hard enough that Indiana’s Dad fell to the ground instantly, not expecting the attack. Zayn was on him immediately, thighs straddling the man’s waist and Indiana’s scream pierced through the afternoon air. Louis got to Zayn and I grabbed onto Indiana, wrapping my arms around her waist to stop her from moving forward. She didn’t need to get hurt. Zayn didn’t need that on his conscience.

Louis and Liam were both pulling on Zayn, Louis arms locked tight around his best mate as he lifted him off the man on the ground. Zayn was furious, his body writhing and his feet kicking out. I had never seen him so furious. So ready to kill.

Louis managed to drag him back, arms locked tightly around Zayn’s chest, yelling furiously while Liam knelt down next to Indiana’s Dad, helping him to sit up. There was blood on his face and on the collar of his shirt. He definitely had a broken nose.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Indiana ripped through my arms and approached Zayn first. Her anger was enough to calm him down in surprise. His body going slack against Louis as they both stared at her wide-eyed.

“How dare you.” She growled. “He’s my father.”

Zayn pulled himself out of Louis’ arms, raising himself up to full height. Louis stayed behind him, ready to grab him again.

“How dare I? I should fucking rip his heart out for what he’s done to you.” Zayn yelled, his voice hoarse and his eyes manic. There was blood on his knuckles and I wasn’t sure if that was from him or the monster on the ground.

“This has got nothing to do with you boy.” Indiana’s Dad tried to get off the ground and that only set Zayn off more.

“You fucking piece of shit,” he yelled throwing himself at the man before Louis could grab him. He got away with a few more punches before Louis and Liam grabbed him again, both of them holding onto him this time.

I started to notice the crowd that had gathered around us, shock across everyone’s faces as Zayn continued to struggle.

I stepped towards the three boys. “We need to get out of here now.” I said, trying to block Zayn’s view of the man he had left, once again, lying on the ground.

Louis and Liam immediately began tugging their friend away. A gap immediately appeared in the crowd for them to move through.

I glanced back to see Indiana crouching next to her father. She had made her decision and I had made mine. I followed the boys out of the circle and behind one of the buildings where Louis was still holding Zayn, this time against the wall and growling at him to breathe properly.

Liam and I shared a look, his jaw was already bruising, obviously he had gotten caught in the middle of a punch at some point.

Zayn was still furious but he was no longer struggling or yelling. His hands were shaking next to him, pressed against the brick wall. Louis was murmuring into his ear and didn’t let him push away from the wall before Zayn nodded, stiffly.

“We better get him cleaned up.” I eyed the blood on his knuckles.

We took the quiet way back to Grace house. Coming around the back garden and through a fence with a hidden latch. The entrance had been put there recently. It was supposed to be hidden but Harry had been using it for the last two weeks. So I didn’t feel bad showing the other three boys when I wasn’t sure how much trouble we were in. God knows someone could be knocking down the King’s door now wanting to press charges against Zayn.

Zayn who was silent, his eyes hard and his shoulders set. He hadn’t spoken a word all the way back to the house.

I relaxed, slightly, when Thea stared at us when we came through the back door. Her eyes moved over all of us, stepping forward and paling at the sight of blood on Zayn’s knuckles.

“Bathroom,” she said, ushering us into the downstairs bathroom.

I stepped forward and pushed Zayn’s hands underneath the tap, letting the cold water run over the probably bruise knuckles. Blood slowly began to wash away, down the drain. Zayn’s eyes stayed transfixed, watching the pinkish water disappear. I grabbed soap and gently scrubbed his hands, trying to get rid of any evidence. It was almost therapeutic to watch it leave.

Zayn’s hands grabbed onto mine when his were clean. I tried to keep scrubbing but he grabbed on tightly and that’s when I realised how badly my hands were shaking. There was an unpleasant feeling in my stomach and I wanted to vomit.

Thea had both Louis and Liam sitting on the bathtub and Rhiannon showed up with ice packs. She passed them to Thea without a word before leaving the bathroom. I knew that she would keep anyone else from wandering in.

Liam grabbed an ice pack and held it to his chin. Thea was busy studying Louis’ face. I realised there was a cut below his left eye; it was already beginning to swell. Thea gently ran a washer across the cut. Louis cringed but didn’t flinch away from her hand that was holding his chin straight.

“Sorry man,” Zayn croaked out, the first thing he had said since the fight. He took a seat on the bathtub next to Louis. I jumped up on the counter next to the sink and watched Zayn’s hands shake between his legs. Thea made him put ice on his knuckles.

“S’okay mate,” Louis mumbled, trying to take the icepack from Thea’s hands but she shoved his hands away and held the pack to his eye herself. Her bottom lip was chewed on and her eyes were firmly fixed on Louis’ eye. He didn’t seem to mind the attention.

“I just couldn’t stop, when I saw him.” Zayn murmured, seemingly shocked at his own actions.

I shivered and closed my eyes. The man filled my vision. His fist becoming the shape of the bruises I had seen litter Indiana’s body. The need to vomit rose again and I found myself leaning over the sink, Liam pulling my hair back from my neck and rubbing the bottom of my back.

But I could only see Indiana. Happy and sweet Indiana, bruised and beaten to the ground.

Notes

So I don't know how well this is proofread, I have been writing an assignment all day and I uploaded as part of my break but I could only pay attention to reading through for mistakes for so long! haha
Thanks for all the lovely comments guys! xx