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Holding Us Back

cover me up

If there was anything Marilyn had to get used to more than the money system in the UK, it was the rain.

She had grown up believing that the rain and dreary weather was nothing more than an exaggeration but having lived in the country for a little over a year, an exaggerated truth was the furthest thing from reality. It rained nearly three times as much as it ever did back home in Canada, no matter the season.

Of course, even in the course of a year while living in the country, on the morning of her ‘modeling’ audition, she was not prepared for the mass amount of rain pouring down from the grey skies above her.

The original plan had been for Olivia and Marilyn to ride into work together, splitting the fair of an otherwise pricey trip down to the Sony studios, but of course that morning Olivia’s boss decided to go on a location shoot and bring Olly with him down to Hyde Park leaving Mare to fend for herself on both the cab and the entire interview.

Slowly the cab came to a halt in front of the somewhat familiar vision of the Sony studio and Marilyn could feel her heart rate speed up in pure terror. She was never a nervous person but interviews and first meetings were always uncomfortable – especially when she was masking as a makeshift model purely for money sake. What was she supposed to say when they asked what her priors were? “Oh, you know, just occasionally posing for Facebook, maybe even a home video here and there. Oh, but there was that time at prom…” Just thinking about it made her stomach churn; she was royally screwed.

With an uneasy breath, Mare managed to pay off the cabby and step out of the yellow taxi, running all the way up the large steps in hopes to keep herself dry. She had decided on wearing a plain white scoop neck t-shirt overtop a black bra accompanied with a pair of skinnies. The weather may have been getting warmer but the rain was wicked enough for her to settle on her favourite pair of brown boots – always a safe bet when she wasn’t sure of the situation.

Her naturally wavy hair was kept down and straightened, falling mid back but messy as she nervously ran her fingers through it, tossing it every which way in hopes to soothe her nerves. It wasn’t working though, it never did.

She made it inside of the building with ease and with a little help from security; she managed to find the audition room. Her oversized brown purse swayed just slightly as she triple checked to see if she had remembered her ‘head shots’; another moment in the interview she was dreading. iPhone pictures blown up and printed from home – she could only imagine the looks she was about to receive.

Nervously, she managed to find the right room before gently pushing open the door. Inside the spacious room sat models of all ages. Some were evidently younger than her – most actually, but there were few that looked around her age. One thing they all had in common, however, were their looks. Drop dead gorgeous, every single one of them. Many of them looked like they should have been straight out of the covers of Vogue, out of the very magazines Marilyn wanted to work for. They looked so professional, so high fashion even in their dressed down clothes.

Shit, she thought sheepishly as she slowly took a seat beside a pretty brunette with sharp features. I’m going to kill Liv.

“Do you think they’ll actually be here?” One of the younger models asked. She looked kind unlike some of the other girls, her big blue eyes were wide and excited. “I heard they like to be involved in the whole process.”

Pulling out her iPhone, she pretended to be interested in the lock screen of the phone but it was obvious she was trying desperately to find out just who she was auditioning for. Another beautiful reality she had to face, she had absolutely no idea who she was here for. Bootleg headshots, no true background in the field and she didn’t know the band – the list just keeps getting longer.

“I doubt they would be here.” One of the snootier girls replied. “They’re busy.”

Widening her eyes at the tone of the girl’s voice, Marilyn slowly shook her head as she searched through her phone. Sassy.

“I still think they might be here. They want to have chemistry with the girls, don’t they? You can’t fake that!”

Yet again the snooty girl rolled her eyes. “That’s why it’s calling acting, Sarah. That’s exactly what you do. You fake it.”

The rest of the girls who weren’t involved in the mini argument looked on awkwardly. Marilyn on the other hand looked at the brat across from her and sat up a little straighter. “Have you acted in a lot?” she asked calmly.

All of the other girls turned to face the unknown face all before the blonde brat tuned in. “Me?” Marilyn nodded. “Yeah. I’ve been in a few music videos and magazine spreads. Enough to know that the artists don’t really give a shit until the actual day of. Have you ever been on anything?”

Was this young girl trying to pick a fight with her? She almost laughed, almost, but before she could get a word in, the door opened up to reveal an older man with a tight smile. “Nice of you to come down girls.” He took a seat at the front of the room and looked on at the group of ladies before him. “I’m Declan Winterbloom, the director of this shoot. So, this is going to be relatively quick, I just want to see your headshots and we’ll do a quick little shift in front of the lens to see how you react to the camera.” He looked at the gang ahead of them and clicked his tongue. “Okay, how about we start with you.” He pointed at the brat who stood up with all the grace in the world and swayed her hips all the way down the room until dropping off her headshots at the desk. “Great,” he said, skimming through them. “Right, just stand where you see that line and I want you to –”

A knock was heard coming from the door behind the main desk all before a tanned boy with brown hair stuck his head out. He wore a huge smile and even went so far as to wriggle his eyebrows at the director at the chair end of the room. “Knock, knock!”

A collective gasp fell amongst the girls at just who stepped out of the door. “Is that Louis Tomlinson?” The young girl beside Marilyn whispered, turning as white as a ghost at the very mention of the musician.

Marilyn looked at the boy and though she knew just how popular One Direction was, the fact it was them managed to settle her nerves just slightly. She respected their music, had quite a few of their songs on her iPod and danced to them with Olivia many a night before they hit the town, but they were always that young ‘boy band’ for her, never someone she lusted after before bed. She could use that as an advantage, less nerves were involved that way.

Slowly but surely, after Louis entered the room, the other four members of One Direction sauntered inside; Zayn was second followed closely by Liam, Harry and finally the blonde Irishman Niall joined the rest of his band.

“Hello girls!” Niall said, a very evident Irish accent trickled out of his speech which caused Marilyn to smile slightly. “How are you all doing today?!”

“I can count on you boys to distract the girls on what was supposed to be a quick run through, can’t I?” The director joked, peering down at the rude girl’s headshots one final time. “Deandra was just about to start her audition.”

The boys looked to the blonde in front of the camera and smiled kindly at her. If she was nervous, she didn’t let it show. She was all business, this girl. Barely even cracked a smile towards the boys.

Looking at the boys standing at the front of the room, Marilyn had to admit they were much better looking in person than they were in the magazines they had been sprawled all over. They looked much more their age and less pop-like; they looked human. It was nice. They were much taller than she expected, too. The odd interview she’d seen them in, they never looked all that big in comparison to each other but each boy seemed to have a good height to them.

The one that caught her attention immediately though was Harry. His curly brown hair was swept away from his face and he wore a simple pair of dark skinny jeans, a blue button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and had deep dimples carved into the ends of his smile. I see what Olly is talking about now, she thought, recollecting Olivia’s crush on the younger boy.

“You guys wanna tell them the premise of the video?” The director asked, cutting into Marilyn’s perverted train of thought. “Might make for an easier time when it comes to being in front of the camera.”

“Right,” Harry began, shoving his hands inside of his back pockets. “Basically just us singing and these girls happen to catch our eye.” He looked around the room briefly, seeing if any of the models did catch his eye and thankfully he noticed a few right off the bat. “And we sing about that some more.”

Zayn was the first to laugh at Harry’s explanation. “That’s all it’s about is it, Haz?”

Harry looked at his friend and smiled slightly. “Yeah.” He said with a quiet laugh.

“It might have some carnival action too, but who knows.” Liam egged on, nudging Harry. “Harry’s just distracted by you girls already, so he forgets.”

Marilyn smirked at the antics playing out before her but said nothing. The girl beside her however, managed to raise her hand at the mention of the music video. Immediately all five sets of eyes landed on the girl but not before catching Harry’s eye for a brief moment. Admittedly, he had beautiful eyes. They were pale green colour, almost grey.

“What song is the video for?” the younger girl asked.

“One thing.” Louis explained. “So you’d better have that ‘one thing’ we’re looking for.” He dead-panned. “Because we’re gonna be looking for it, young lady!” He was purposely acting like a spaz, gaining a few smiles from the crowd before him.

“Right, so we’ll be looking for a few girls for the shoot. Five strapping guys mean we need a few other girls so the video doesn’t end up looking like a gang circling around one poor lass.” The boys laughed but the director only smirked at his own joke before continuing. “An easier way we might be able to do this is just picking a few girls and getting you boys to get near them.”

“Get near them?” Niall asked, wriggling his eyebrows. “Is that what they’re calling it now?”

“Let’s get started!” The director cut in, shaking his heads at their antics. “Okay we have one girl up there already, let’s go for,” his eyes scanned the room and landed on the girl beside Mare, “you and,” another quick sweep through and he found a pretty brunette by the door. “you.”

The two girls stood and handed over their headshots. “Andrea and Rachel.” He rhymed off. “Okay, just stand by the other girl and we’ll have Harry, Zayn and Niall over there with you, sound good?”

It was interesting to see how it worked. She’d never put much thought into how they recruited their actors or models for a music video but watching how awkward and stiff it could be was astounding. There was no passion behind the meaningful lean-ins like there were in the actual video; it truly just looked like two strangers bumping noses occasionally while giving each other a small smile. Thankfully, they were playing ‘One Thing’ in the background so the boys could react to the song but even with the promise of noise, it did not make for any less of an awkward situation.

Deandra was paired off with Niall who gently placed his hands around her hips but there was no spark behind their stare. She was acting, that much was evident. No true emotion seemed to radiate from her blue gaze. So much for faking it, Marilyn thought.

The other two boys were paired off as well but even as they tried to act as if they had known the girls for years, it was stiff. The girls were obviously nervous about having these superstars near them and the guys had a hard time feeding off of that energy.

“Okay, great.” The director cut in, scooping up their headshots and placing it in a pile to his left. “Great job ladies, we’ll be in touch.”

The girls no sooner gathered their belongings and left before his eyes were scanning around the room again. “Okay next we’ll have you,” he pointed to another pretty girl with raven hair, “you,” a brunette that sat just to Mare’s right, “and you.” His gaze lingered on Marilyn, his finger pointing directly at her.

Just like that, her nerves came back to her.

She stood up with the other two girls, and waited patiently as they handed their headshots in before awkwardly handing hers over. “So we have Molly, Kate and,” he looked at the obviousness of Mare’s cruddy headshots and quietly chuckled to himself. “Marilyn?” he asked, looking up at the blonde. Marilyn smiled slightly and nodded her head, feeling completely exposed to the room. “Homemade headshots?” He commented with a dry smile.

She silently thanked whatever God was watching out for her right then and shrugged. “I wanted it to look natural.” She lied, trying her best to hide the small smile that pulled

The director’s eyebrow perked up at the sound of her voice, as did the five awaiting boys just to her right. “An American in our midst?”

She walked over to where the other two girls were standing and smiled slightly at the boys standing before them. “Canadian, actually.”

“I love Canada!” Niall said with a large smile.

“You love Canadian girls,” Liam corrected for only the boys to hear but Marilyn heard him regardless.

“We are pretty great.” She joked with a subtle wink.

Harry noticed the wink immediately and smirked to himself, looking to Niall and Zayn who were obviously thinking the same thing.

“Alright, just remember act natural ladies.” The director said, pressing the play button one more time just before ‘One Thing’ began to play out. As soon as the music began, Marilyn began to sway her hips just slightly with the beat of the song, clapping her hand against her thigh to match the drumming. Thankfully this was one of the songs she and Olivia had danced to, circling around their flat like complete idiots.

Niall was the closest boy to her and as he caught her eye, a quick look was exchanged before the pair began to playfully dance together, laughing at the other’s moves as he pretended to sing along with the song.

Remembering there was supposed to be other girls in the video; Marilyn quickly grabbed the girl with black hair and danced with her just as she would Olivia at a club. Thankfully the other girl, Molly, was having just as much fun as she was with it but as the chorus began to blast, the girls were separated by Harry whose hands snaked around Marilyn’s waist, tugging her away from the other girl.

Laughing slightly, she turned to face Harry and raised her eyebrows at him. He was still lip syncing to the song but the evident smile he wore as she turned around was enough to cause one of her own to form. His eyes were much lighter the closer she got, but the actual colour of them bounced between avocado and grey.

I don’t, I don’t, don’t know what it is – but I need that one thing and you’ve got that one thing,” he mouthed, working his hands down the girls sides. He had to admit, the girl before him was fit. Completely his type with her summery hair and coy smirk but this was still only an audition, he knew he had to keep both his hormones and his hands in check.

Suddenly the music stopped and slowly but surely the group stopped moving and turned to the director. He was smirking slightly and scribbling something down on a piece of paper but instead of offering them any encouraging words, he looked back up at the group of girls and nodded his head. “That was great ladies, we’ll be in touch.”

Marilyn’s smile slowly faded as Harry’s hands dropped back down to his sides. She felt comfortable up there with the group but after hearing the same words escape Declan’s mouth after the first group, maybe it was all in her head.

“Have a great day, guys!” she said with a small smile, thanking both the director and the boys rather quickly. She made eyes with Harry once again but all she could do was shoot him another smile before finally turning to leave the audition.

Pulling out her white iPhone, Marilyn punched in the four digit code and looked at the few missed texts she had received – all from Liv.

How’s it goin? U nervoz?

????

ANSWER ME! HOW IS IT?!

With another tiny smile, Mare punched in her honest response. Could’ve gone either way. You’re gna be jealous though. Talk to you when you get home.

And with that she tucked her phone back into her purse and frowned as she stepped back into the harsh rain.

Comments

KEEP WRITING!!! its so good!
bkathleenvn bkathleenvn
12/12/12
this is so perfect omg
lovemedeme lovemedeme
11/6/12