Was I ready to do this? As I was thinking of what to do, Harry had already entered his room and held me up against a wall next to his door. He stared into my eyes, adjusting my legs around his waist and kissing my neck once gently. I looked into his emerald orbs and cupped his face. He relaxed into my touch and I traced my thumb against his rough cheek bones.

It wasn’t until then that I noticed the bags under his eyes. I traced them with my thumb and he opened his eyes, slowly as he sleepily smiled. I wrapped my hands around his neck holding him closer.

“Harry-“ I started but was cut off by him shaking his head.

“I don’t want to push you into anything. Especially since we’ve been apart for so long.” He emphasized the ‘so long’ part and sighed.

“I wish you would just understand that I really want you in my life. Even if this is the moment speaking from me I still want you to know that. I’m sorry for everything, absolutely everything I’d done to you since we’ve met. Because you deserved better.”

I stared at him with my jaw hanging out as he looked down. I have never heard him mouth anything like this to me before. He looked back at me with a frown and I smiled softly to him as I cupped his face once more.

“I’ve missed you.” I whispered and he smiled, looking into my eyes. He leaned forward and caught my lips with his once again. As our kiss got more passionate, I’ve made my decision.

“I want this.” I whispered in between our kisses “I want you. All of you.”

“Don’t say that.” He whispered, still kissing me “You don’t want me, you hate me.”

“But I don’t.” My fingers ruffled his hair and he pressed us harder against the wall.

“You do, Broke. You hate me so much you can’t even look at me.” I pulled his face away from mine and stared into his eyes for about ten seconds. None of us looked away.

“I love you.” I told him and he frowned looking down.

“You can’t possibly.” He answered shaking his head.

“I hate what you did to me.” I traced his jaw and made him look up at me “But I love you.”

I guess those words were enough. Harry was all over me after I’ve told him I loved him. He carried me to his bed and gently put me down. His hands were all over my body and his lips were on mine the entire time. Our tongues fought for dominance as he sneaked his hands around my waist pulling me closer to his body. His lips found their way towards my neck. He sucked and kissed around my jaw while I tried to pull his shirt over his head.

As soon as his shirt was off, I rolled us over and sat on top of him. I was enjoying the view of his abs in New York and now I’ve finally had the opportunity to touch them. And I did. I lazily pulled my fingers along his chest and his stomach as he was pulling on my dress.

“I want this off.” He whispered against my lips and I kissed him before I took my dress off. He rolled us over and I unbuckled his belt, pulling his pants down. We kissed for a long time before moving further. The feeling of his skin against mine, so warm and soft, was enough to make me feel loved. His hands moved across my body stopping on my hips. He pressed his thumbs into my skin and massaged on my hipbones. He pulled my panties down as he kissed my stomach. I pulled down his boxers and he unclipped my bra.

**

The next morning I woke up before Harry. His hands were wrapped securely around my waist and his head buried in the crook of my neck. I sighed. I don’t know what happened, but since last night it didn’t even feel like I wanted to be with Harry at all. This didn’t feel right.

As he breathed steadily and evenly in my neck, I never felt anything. I didn’t have a desire to keep him here forever. I felt as if I felt nothing for him.

Was I afraid?

I was petrified. I wasn’t just afraid. Harry has now had everything he could possibly get from me – physically and emotionally. There was nothing more I could give to him. And I was sure it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t pretty enough, smart enough nor nice enough. I wasn’t enough for him in any aspect.

If I don’t leave him, he will leave me.

So I did the only thing I could – I put my clothes on and left his apartment, leaving him on his bed completely alone.

Notes

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit Broke is indeciciveeee!