Transatlanticism
Chapter IX.
From: Harry
9:12
Woke up, you were gone. How did you get home, love? :)
From: Harry
9:45
Broke, did you get home alright? Did something happen?
From: Harry
10:25
Please, answer me. I'm worried.
And the list goes on and on. I sat on my sofa with Hayden watching a stupid TV show I never liked and thinking about what happened last night. My phone buzzed every now and then reminding me I had messages from him.
"You'll have to see him eventually. It's better not to make things more awkward then they are, Broke." Hayden sounded almost harsh, as if she were mad at me.
"Are you upset?" I asked, my eyes drifting towards hers and locking her gaze.
"Fucking right, I am Broke! Are you out of your mind?" Hayden wasn't the type of person to curse a lot so when she did, it was an indicator that the situation had run out of control.
"What do you mean?" I asked her.
"Are you seriously building that wall of yours up again? Are you really going to block him out?" she turned her body towards mine. There was a minute of silence, the only thing heard was the stupid laughter coming from the TV set.
"You don't know what you're talking about." I averted my eyes from hers, and my attention back to the TV. I heard her sigh and soon the couch sank and I felt her envelope me in a hug.
"He's not going to hurt you again." she whispered in my hair and I felt the tears prick at my eyes.
"But what if he does, Hay? What happens then? I can't go through this twice." I sobbed into her chest.
**
Call from: Harry
It was the fifth time I was seeing his name flash across my phone's screen. I couldn't pick it up, couldn't find it in me to talk with him about actual problems. I sighed again and hugged myself.
Call from: Dad
That was something I had to answer. I picked up my phone and answered.
"Why have you been ignoring my calls?" Harry's angry voice broke through the speaker and I froze.
"Harry? H-how did you... That's my dad's phone." my brows furrowed.
"That's not what I asked nor the topic I would like to shake in this conversation, Broke. I'll hang up now and call you from my phone. You better answer my call, do you understand?" he asked and I nodded, his tone almost terrifying as the line went dead. My phone rang couple of seconds later and I answered.
"Tell me what's wrong." he sounded less angry and more worried than he had before.
"I-it's nothing, really. I just didn't have the chance to answer or reply to your messages." I said and sighed.
"Don't lie to me, Broke." he barked and I froze once again at the coolness of his tone "After all we've been through you should know better than lying to me." there was a long pause, none of us said anything. Then he broke it.
"Was it something I did?" his voice came out a shy whisper "Did I hurt you last night?"
"You didn't, Harry. You didn't do anything wrong, it was perfect." I smiled.
"Then, what is it? You're ignoring me and it fucking hurts, Broke!" I closed my eyes, surprised by his response. I never wanted to hurt him.
"I-I don't want to talk about it via phone." I answered.
"Good." there was a knock on my door after he's said that.
Oh, God.
"Open the door." he commanded and I got up from my bed and did as he asked.
Surprise, surprise, he was on my doorstep.
He wore a simple white shirt and a plaid shirt over it. His blue jeans hung from his hips, hugging his converse. His jaw was set and his eyes were dark. His face showed nothing but pure anger and the veins on his arms were pulsing as he put his phone in his pocket ending the call. He let himself in and I closed the door after him. I was met with his chest when I turned around.
He pulled me into a tight hug. His arms engulfed my shoulders and my hands wrapped around his torso, rubbing his back as they did. He sighed, lowering his head and burying it in my hair.
"Tell me what's wrong. I have to know, Broke." he whispered "I can't fix it if I don't know what it is."
I pulled away from our hug and cupped his face in my hands. He leaned in my touch, folding his hand against mine on his right cheek.
"It's nothing, Harry. It's really nothing. I just... I don't think I can do this." I looked down and he pulled my chin up to meet his hurt gaze.
"What do you mean?" his brows furrowed and I sighed.
"I can't be with you. I can't take the fact I don't trust you yet. What if something happens again and we walk away from each other? I can't take that risk. I-I can't lose you again." I shook my head and he nodded.
"So you'd rather let me go? Let this go? You're afraid to even give us a try." he looked down "It's your choice, Broke. And I can't do anything about it. I won't do anything about it." he looked up "But just know that what you did is wrong. What you're doing is wrong. You can't toy with my emotions as if I was a fucking pet." his voice was angry again.
"Harry, plea-"
"I don't want to hear it." he cut me off and stormed towards the door "I want you and I love you but if you can't decide if your heart's in it, I can't do anything about it. Just know that maybe, just maybe I won't be your personal punching bag forever and maybe I'll walk away on misery."
And with that he was gone.
9:12
Woke up, you were gone. How did you get home, love? :)
From: Harry
9:45
Broke, did you get home alright? Did something happen?
From: Harry
10:25
Please, answer me. I'm worried.
And the list goes on and on. I sat on my sofa with Hayden watching a stupid TV show I never liked and thinking about what happened last night. My phone buzzed every now and then reminding me I had messages from him.
"You'll have to see him eventually. It's better not to make things more awkward then they are, Broke." Hayden sounded almost harsh, as if she were mad at me.
"Are you upset?" I asked, my eyes drifting towards hers and locking her gaze.
"Fucking right, I am Broke! Are you out of your mind?" Hayden wasn't the type of person to curse a lot so when she did, it was an indicator that the situation had run out of control.
"What do you mean?" I asked her.
"Are you seriously building that wall of yours up again? Are you really going to block him out?" she turned her body towards mine. There was a minute of silence, the only thing heard was the stupid laughter coming from the TV set.
"You don't know what you're talking about." I averted my eyes from hers, and my attention back to the TV. I heard her sigh and soon the couch sank and I felt her envelope me in a hug.
"He's not going to hurt you again." she whispered in my hair and I felt the tears prick at my eyes.
"But what if he does, Hay? What happens then? I can't go through this twice." I sobbed into her chest.
**
Call from: Harry
It was the fifth time I was seeing his name flash across my phone's screen. I couldn't pick it up, couldn't find it in me to talk with him about actual problems. I sighed again and hugged myself.
Call from: Dad
That was something I had to answer. I picked up my phone and answered.
"Why have you been ignoring my calls?" Harry's angry voice broke through the speaker and I froze.
"Harry? H-how did you... That's my dad's phone." my brows furrowed.
"That's not what I asked nor the topic I would like to shake in this conversation, Broke. I'll hang up now and call you from my phone. You better answer my call, do you understand?" he asked and I nodded, his tone almost terrifying as the line went dead. My phone rang couple of seconds later and I answered.
"Tell me what's wrong." he sounded less angry and more worried than he had before.
"I-it's nothing, really. I just didn't have the chance to answer or reply to your messages." I said and sighed.
"Don't lie to me, Broke." he barked and I froze once again at the coolness of his tone "After all we've been through you should know better than lying to me." there was a long pause, none of us said anything. Then he broke it.
"Was it something I did?" his voice came out a shy whisper "Did I hurt you last night?"
"You didn't, Harry. You didn't do anything wrong, it was perfect." I smiled.
"Then, what is it? You're ignoring me and it fucking hurts, Broke!" I closed my eyes, surprised by his response. I never wanted to hurt him.
"I-I don't want to talk about it via phone." I answered.
"Good." there was a knock on my door after he's said that.
Oh, God.
"Open the door." he commanded and I got up from my bed and did as he asked.
Surprise, surprise, he was on my doorstep.
He wore a simple white shirt and a plaid shirt over it. His blue jeans hung from his hips, hugging his converse. His jaw was set and his eyes were dark. His face showed nothing but pure anger and the veins on his arms were pulsing as he put his phone in his pocket ending the call. He let himself in and I closed the door after him. I was met with his chest when I turned around.
He pulled me into a tight hug. His arms engulfed my shoulders and my hands wrapped around his torso, rubbing his back as they did. He sighed, lowering his head and burying it in my hair.
"Tell me what's wrong. I have to know, Broke." he whispered "I can't fix it if I don't know what it is."
I pulled away from our hug and cupped his face in my hands. He leaned in my touch, folding his hand against mine on his right cheek.
"It's nothing, Harry. It's really nothing. I just... I don't think I can do this." I looked down and he pulled my chin up to meet his hurt gaze.
"What do you mean?" his brows furrowed and I sighed.
"I can't be with you. I can't take the fact I don't trust you yet. What if something happens again and we walk away from each other? I can't take that risk. I-I can't lose you again." I shook my head and he nodded.
"So you'd rather let me go? Let this go? You're afraid to even give us a try." he looked down "It's your choice, Broke. And I can't do anything about it. I won't do anything about it." he looked up "But just know that what you did is wrong. What you're doing is wrong. You can't toy with my emotions as if I was a fucking pet." his voice was angry again.
"Harry, plea-"
"I don't want to hear it." he cut me off and stormed towards the door "I want you and I love you but if you can't decide if your heart's in it, I can't do anything about it. Just know that maybe, just maybe I won't be your personal punching bag forever and maybe I'll walk away on misery."
And with that he was gone.
This is so sad :( please tell me he is going to be okay
1/16/15