Remember When?
Bad Timing
Niall's POV
She was looking at me for seemed like ages but it was probably just seconds. I could hear my heartbeat. Everything seemed to slow down. I look at Clary again. Do I tell her? Do I just keep it held in? I take another deep breath. "I just don't know what you're thinking…and sometimes it scares me how closed off you can get." Whew that was a nice way of putting 'I don't think you love me…did you ever love me?' She seems to be mulling over my words, thinking about them very carefully.
"I sometimes don't know what I'm thinking. My dad always told me to live each day like you might not get another. And I'm not closed off…what makes you think that?" God I thought I was in the clear.
"Just nevermind…forget I said anything okay." Then suddenly she was on top of me, kissing down my jawline. A soft moan escaped from my lips.
"Oh Niall…tell me what's on your mind." Her delicate piano playing fingers made quick work of my clothes. Her fingers gently touching my upper body. I quickly sit up and grab my clothes in one hand while keeping her clinging to my body.
"I think we should continue this inside baby." I slam the deck doors shut and climb the stairs. I get to our room and drop her down on the bed. Chucking my shirts on the floor, I climb on top of her. But she quickly flips us so she's on top.
"Niall tell me." She has her determined face on. Which I usually only saw while she was on the field. But now its trained on me.
"Using sex as a weapon…very mean Clary." She was still straddling me but her arms were crossed over her chest.
"Niall Horan tell me right now!" I push her off of me and look her straight in the eye.
"Fine. I don't think you love me! That's why I'm being distant. You have never said it back and so I am just bracing myself for when you leave me again! You only told me once that you loved me but that was before we were even dating again! You said you always would but I feel like you lied. I feel like you don't love me anymore. THERE I SAID IT." I don't even want to look at her. I just grab an extra pillow, blanket and my t-shirt before heading out of the room. Slamming the door behind me. I have no idea why I am so angry at her, she didn't really do anything wrong. But I just am angry, angry that she doesn't love me like I love her. I flop down on the couch, that's when I hear soft sob come from up the stairs. Great I made her cry…go can this day get any worse?! I should try to sleep. Maybe we can talk in the morning…if she still wants to date. Oh god I single handedly ruined the greatest thing in my life.
The Next Morning
I wake up to a silence. I decide to make her favorite breakfast: waffles. So that takes me like an hour. By the time I have the tray all set up nicely its almost 11. I climb the stairs slowly careful not to spill. I get into the room, and the tray drops from my hands. The bed is made, and her stuff is out of the drawers which were still open. Which meant she left sometime during the night. Holy shit this is my worst nightmare come true. She's left me. Gone with the wind.
"Oh Niall its so good to see you. What brings the big celebrity to our quaint town?" Clary's mom was poking fun at me, I can tell by the way her grey eyes twinkle.
"Just missed my mum…how's Clary?" Her mom shrugged. Then continued to trim the bushes out front. "What does that mean? You don't know?! Did something happen to her?"
"Lord Niall, no I just haven't heard from her. She's like her father that way. She goes wherever the wind goes. She could be in New York or in China…I don't know and frankly she needed to be free to explore. Again much like her father. Now that I think about she is just him in a girl's body. What can you do right?" I just nod then head off to the café.
I run back downstairs and check for the car keys. They are still here. Shit how did she get home? I call Harry, he's the only one without plans because Penny was away, and god Harry moves slow when he really likes someone. He picks up after the 3rd ring.
"Haz…Clary left me…"
"I know. I picked her up. You really know how to kill the mood."
"Why did you pick her up?!"
"Because she didn't want to stay with you."
"Is she there with you?"
"No I dropped her at her place late at night, and I don't know where she is. Maybe her place? Maybe her mom's? All she said was that she had to get away."
"Okay…I'll call her mom maybe. Thanks." I just hang up go this is so not how I wanted this weekend to go. Why am I such a screw up. I dial her mom's number.
"Niall! How are you holding up?" Shit she knew.
"How did you know? And okay…I just screw everything up don't I?" There was a long pause.
"No I wouldn't say that. Love is difficult Niall, but worth it. She'll come around…she just needs time to think. That's all. I have to go…I'll talk some sense into her for you." Then she hung up. So Clary was heading to her mom's. Seems okay…her mom was always great at advice. I sigh and clean up the mess I made upstairs then head out, driving back towards London. I get back and see Harry sitting by my door. "Haz what are you doing?"
"Did you find out where she's going?" I unlock my door and let him in.
"Yea going to her mom's for the rest of the weekend I think…" He followed me around as I put away my clothes.
"Have you called her?" I shook my head no at him.
"Past experiences tell me she wouldn't answer even if I did call…she needs to have space so that's what I'll give her. Even though I want to call her, this is conversation that needs to happen face to face I think." He nods then we head back to the living room and plop down on the couch. We have watched two Star Wars movies and are about to pop in the third when my phone rings. Unknown number. "Hello?"
"Hi, Mister Horan?"
"Uh yea this is…"
"We are calling about Miss Clarissa Wolf and her mother. They were just brought into the hospital and Nurse Lilly told me you were the emergency contact." I feel all the blood drain from my body. I limply fall back onto the couch, Harry mouthing to me 'What's wrong?'
"Is she…are they okay?"
"I think it's best if you come down here to talk to the doctors. They can tell you after they get done with surgery. Dublin Memorial Hospital."
"I'll be right over." I hang up and look at Harry, the movie was paused and he was studying my face.
"Niall what is it? Did something happen to your mom? Theo?" I shook my head.
"Clary and her mom…they…they are in the hospital, we have to go now. Call the others on the way over." He gasped but then rushed to put on shoes while I grabbed my coat and keys. We ran to the car, desperate to get to Dublin. Please God, let her live.
She was looking at me for seemed like ages but it was probably just seconds. I could hear my heartbeat. Everything seemed to slow down. I look at Clary again. Do I tell her? Do I just keep it held in? I take another deep breath. "I just don't know what you're thinking…and sometimes it scares me how closed off you can get." Whew that was a nice way of putting 'I don't think you love me…did you ever love me?' She seems to be mulling over my words, thinking about them very carefully.
"I sometimes don't know what I'm thinking. My dad always told me to live each day like you might not get another. And I'm not closed off…what makes you think that?" God I thought I was in the clear.
"Just nevermind…forget I said anything okay." Then suddenly she was on top of me, kissing down my jawline. A soft moan escaped from my lips.
"Oh Niall…tell me what's on your mind." Her delicate piano playing fingers made quick work of my clothes. Her fingers gently touching my upper body. I quickly sit up and grab my clothes in one hand while keeping her clinging to my body.
"I think we should continue this inside baby." I slam the deck doors shut and climb the stairs. I get to our room and drop her down on the bed. Chucking my shirts on the floor, I climb on top of her. But she quickly flips us so she's on top.
"Niall tell me." She has her determined face on. Which I usually only saw while she was on the field. But now its trained on me.
"Using sex as a weapon…very mean Clary." She was still straddling me but her arms were crossed over her chest.
"Niall Horan tell me right now!" I push her off of me and look her straight in the eye.
"Fine. I don't think you love me! That's why I'm being distant. You have never said it back and so I am just bracing myself for when you leave me again! You only told me once that you loved me but that was before we were even dating again! You said you always would but I feel like you lied. I feel like you don't love me anymore. THERE I SAID IT." I don't even want to look at her. I just grab an extra pillow, blanket and my t-shirt before heading out of the room. Slamming the door behind me. I have no idea why I am so angry at her, she didn't really do anything wrong. But I just am angry, angry that she doesn't love me like I love her. I flop down on the couch, that's when I hear soft sob come from up the stairs. Great I made her cry…go can this day get any worse?! I should try to sleep. Maybe we can talk in the morning…if she still wants to date. Oh god I single handedly ruined the greatest thing in my life.
The Next Morning
I wake up to a silence. I decide to make her favorite breakfast: waffles. So that takes me like an hour. By the time I have the tray all set up nicely its almost 11. I climb the stairs slowly careful not to spill. I get into the room, and the tray drops from my hands. The bed is made, and her stuff is out of the drawers which were still open. Which meant she left sometime during the night. Holy shit this is my worst nightmare come true. She's left me. Gone with the wind.
"Oh Niall its so good to see you. What brings the big celebrity to our quaint town?" Clary's mom was poking fun at me, I can tell by the way her grey eyes twinkle.
"Just missed my mum…how's Clary?" Her mom shrugged. Then continued to trim the bushes out front. "What does that mean? You don't know?! Did something happen to her?"
"Lord Niall, no I just haven't heard from her. She's like her father that way. She goes wherever the wind goes. She could be in New York or in China…I don't know and frankly she needed to be free to explore. Again much like her father. Now that I think about she is just him in a girl's body. What can you do right?" I just nod then head off to the café.
I run back downstairs and check for the car keys. They are still here. Shit how did she get home? I call Harry, he's the only one without plans because Penny was away, and god Harry moves slow when he really likes someone. He picks up after the 3rd ring.
"Haz…Clary left me…"
"I know. I picked her up. You really know how to kill the mood."
"Why did you pick her up?!"
"Because she didn't want to stay with you."
"Is she there with you?"
"No I dropped her at her place late at night, and I don't know where she is. Maybe her place? Maybe her mom's? All she said was that she had to get away."
"Okay…I'll call her mom maybe. Thanks." I just hang up go this is so not how I wanted this weekend to go. Why am I such a screw up. I dial her mom's number.
"Niall! How are you holding up?" Shit she knew.
"How did you know? And okay…I just screw everything up don't I?" There was a long pause.
"No I wouldn't say that. Love is difficult Niall, but worth it. She'll come around…she just needs time to think. That's all. I have to go…I'll talk some sense into her for you." Then she hung up. So Clary was heading to her mom's. Seems okay…her mom was always great at advice. I sigh and clean up the mess I made upstairs then head out, driving back towards London. I get back and see Harry sitting by my door. "Haz what are you doing?"
"Did you find out where she's going?" I unlock my door and let him in.
"Yea going to her mom's for the rest of the weekend I think…" He followed me around as I put away my clothes.
"Have you called her?" I shook my head no at him.
"Past experiences tell me she wouldn't answer even if I did call…she needs to have space so that's what I'll give her. Even though I want to call her, this is conversation that needs to happen face to face I think." He nods then we head back to the living room and plop down on the couch. We have watched two Star Wars movies and are about to pop in the third when my phone rings. Unknown number. "Hello?"
"Hi, Mister Horan?"
"Uh yea this is…"
"We are calling about Miss Clarissa Wolf and her mother. They were just brought into the hospital and Nurse Lilly told me you were the emergency contact." I feel all the blood drain from my body. I limply fall back onto the couch, Harry mouthing to me 'What's wrong?'
"Is she…are they okay?"
"I think it's best if you come down here to talk to the doctors. They can tell you after they get done with surgery. Dublin Memorial Hospital."
"I'll be right over." I hang up and look at Harry, the movie was paused and he was studying my face.
"Niall what is it? Did something happen to your mom? Theo?" I shook my head.
"Clary and her mom…they…they are in the hospital, we have to go now. Call the others on the way over." He gasped but then rushed to put on shoes while I grabbed my coat and keys. We ran to the car, desperate to get to Dublin. Please God, let her live.
Notes
Heyyy! Been a long time hasn't it?! Well here y'all go the next chapter. FYI: this idea is inspired by the book 'If I Stay' which is super good I recommend it. But yea I just don't want anyone to think that I came up with it. I have been working super hard on this story to get it finished up. :)
So I have started packing to go back to school which is so tiring and I hate it. I have to go shopping to get more stuff and I really wish I had someone to do this for me...but my dog is only so helpful. Anyways I hope everyone is having a lovely day!
~Annie xxx
@redheadedbeauty
Yeah he is ... I wanted to save the picture that's why i asked but thanks
4/11/15