Niall’s P.O.V.
*Three Months later*
“Mr. Horan, visiting hours are closing now.” A doctor said to me and I sighed and nodded and reluctantly got up. I kissed Char’s lifeless hand and then exited the room.
“Any changes Doc?” I asked with hope even though I knew the answer.
“As you know her heartbeat has been getting weaker, it’s so faint, her end may be near. No other changes. ” I nodded and sighed. He started to walk away and I put my hands in my pockets as I walked out of the hospital. Harry was waiting at the exit and as soon as I got in the car he drove away.
“Her heartbeat is still getting weaker. He said her end may be near.” I suppressed a sob, even though that news had torn me apart. Harry sniffled as he heard the news. Char has been in a coma for the last three months. After the surgery her body put itself into a coma in an attempt to continue to heal itself, but so far no change had been recorded. Her body was still too weak to respond to any treatment. She had flat lined three times so far but they used electric shock to get her heartbeat going again, but each time the heartbeat got fainter. Each time made my heart break even further. The hospital was supposed to take her off of life support a month and a half ago but I had refused and started to pay for the life support as her insurance and family could no longer afford it. I had been visiting her every day since the surgery, and every day I get even more depressed, she hasn’t responded to anything. I don’t know if she is aware I am there, or if she knows she’s not dead, she hasn’t so much as moved by herself the whole time she has been there.
“Niall?” Harry asked, noticing my blank expression. “Look mate, I’m sorry. I…” He stopped talking, not knowing what to say.
“Sorry? The love of my life might die, and all you can say is SORRY?!” I said, slightly raising my voice but instantly regretting it. I had been a lot snappier and sullen lately and I didn’t want to be. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it.”
“It’s OK, we understand, you have every right to be angry.” He said and I grimaced. I hated being so mean to all of them when they were just trying to help. I put my forehead on the window as we drove back to the flat. It had just started to rain, and Charlotte loved the rain. It made the pain of her not being here front and center and I couldn’t help but let a few tears escape from my eyes. I spent the first two weeks after the surgery sleeping in the hospital until the lads finally dragged me out and made me sleep at home. I was only allowed one hour of visiting time now because of how unstable she was. The other lads came to see her every other day. They all missed her, but they knew I needed my privacy with her. We were supposed to start recording our new album but the lads had pushed it back as far as they could so I could have my time with her. We started recording next week and I just don’t think my heart is as in it as it used to be.
When we reached the flats I nodded my goodbye at Harry and took the stairs up to my flat. I let myself in, went to the fridge and ate. I ate spaghetti and then changed into sweats, a sweatshirt and then crashed on my bed with the TV on.
The Next Day
The lads had made me get up and go out with them. We walked around London for a little bit and it helped me. I didn’t feel so sad when I was with them and they made the pain not so present. We went out to eat, walked on the beach, and just had a fairly good time. The lads were pretty cautious about avoiding certain subjects but on the whole it was pretty fun. At about 6:30 we started to head back towards the flats. We were all gonna go see Char today and then the lads were gonna go grab dinner so I could have some alone time with her. We stopped by my flat and I grabbed my guitar case real quick before meeting the other lads in the car. We drove over to the hospital and checked in. When we walked in the room she was in the same position with the same peaceful expression on her face, her hands by her side. I immediately sat in the chair next to her as the others filed in around the bed. They all took turns talking to her because it was supposed to help her. They all talked about their day and work, and then kissed her on the cheek. Harry and Zayn talked a little bit more than the others but that was to be expected because she was closer with them than with Liam and Lou.
Once the boys had said their peace they nodded at me and walked out the door. I did my usual routine, tell her about my day, tell her how much I loved and missed her, and tell her about anything else that popped in my head. After I said my peace I grabbed my guitar out of my case and started to strum. I had a song in mind and my hands automatically started the chords. I smiled at how easily I remembered them.
Settle down with me
Cover me up
Cuddle me in
Lie down with me
Hold me in your arms

Your heart's against my chest
Lips pressed to my neck
I've fallen for your eyes
But they don't know me yet

And the feeling I forget
I'm in love now

Kiss me like you wanna be loved
Wanna be loved
Wanna be loved

This feels like I've fallen in love
Fallen in love
Fallen in love

Settle down with me
And I'll be your safety
You'll be my lady

I was made to keep your body warm
But I'm cold as, the wind blows
So hold me in your arms

My heart's against your chest
Your lips pressed to my neck
I've fallen for your eyes
But they don't know me yet

And the feeling I forget
I'm in love now

Kiss me like you wanna be loved
Wanna be loved
Wanna be loved

This feels like I've fallen in love
Fallen in love
Fallen in love

Yeah I've been feeling everything
From hate to love
From love to lust
From lust to truth
I guess that's how I know you

So hold you close
To help you give it up

So kiss me like you wanna be loved
Wanna be loved
Wanna be loved

This feels like I've fallen in love
Fallen in love
Fallen in love

So kiss me like you wanna be loved
Wanna be loved
Wanna be loved

This feels like I've fallen in love
Fallen in love
Fallen in love
I finished the song, all the while remembering the first time I had sung it to her. She had been so happy, and full of life, and she didn’t look sick. I smiled sadly, staring at her face, which was still beautiful to me, even through the paleness and the unhealthiness she still looked beautiful to me. It pained me to see her lie so still. While I was thinking my hands had a mind of their own and started to play the song over again. A tear slipped down my cheek, it was awful to know that she would never be able to hear me play that song again. I quickly stopped playing before I burst into tears. I packed away my guitar and put my jacket on.
I had decided that today was the last time I would see her. It was selfish of me to keep her alive just so I could see her when after three months nothing had gotten better. I was going to tell the doctor that it was time to take her off of life support. I knew her parents would agree with me, it felt like I was torturing her by keeping her alive and not letting her soul pass on.
Another tear slipped down my cheek as I held Char’s hand for the last time. I kissed her forehead, careful not to let a tear fall on her, for the last time. I gently brushed my lips onto hers for the last time. I sucked in a breath, beat back my tears and stood up. Then I finally…Let Go.
I walked towards the door and looked back. I waved, opened the door and backed out of it, all the while taking in the features of her face. I took one last deep breath and began to close the door.
“I Love You Charlotte Moren.” I said.




















Her finger twitched.

Notes

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING??????????????????????????????????????????????????????
COMMENT~RATE~SUBSCRIBE