No Regrets
42-Surgery Part 2
Charlotte’s P.O.V.
I looked up at Harry as he walked up to me and sat down in the chair. He grabbed my free hand and held it tightly with both of his. There were a few tears making their ways down his cheeks. It made me so sad to see him in so much pain and so sad. “Harry.” He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. “You are an absolutely amazing friend. You understood how to help me, and made sure that I didn’t have to do anything that I wasn’t comfortable with, or put me in an awkward situation. You were there for me that night in the hospital, when I felt like giving up. Kylie was on my mind and I blamed myself. You helped to make me see straight and pull me out of the depression. I’m sorry to say that recently I have started to sink back into it, but just know that you helped me stay happy and keep my sights clear, and for that I am forever grateful to you. I know that someday you will find the perfect girl for you. I really am going to miss you.”
“Jules. You are the best thing that has ever happened to Niall. You truly are the Princess he has been waiting for.” He said and I smiled at looked at Niall with loving eyes. He glanced up at me with a small smile on his lips but tears in his eyes. I sadly looked back to Harry as Niall put his head back down. “You have been an outstanding friend to all of us and I can’t thank you enough for letting us into your life. I’m glad I was able to help you out of that dark place and to know that you felt safe enough to let your guard down around me. Life won’t be the same without you Jules.” He said and a tear escaped from my eye at his sweet words. He got up gave me a gentle hug and then kissed the tear away, his lips lingering longer than the others. He finally stood up tall, gave my hand one last squeeze and then slowly headed towards the door, waved goodbye and exited.
Zayn took Harry’s spot next to me and grabbed my hand as well. “Zayn, you are truly my brother. You were the first to know about me and you always helped me. You understood that sometimes I just needed to cry, you understood why I didn’t want to get close to everyone else at first, and you understood why I originally didn’t want Niall to know. You may not have agreed, but you understood. You were there for me when I had to shave my head, when I got bruises from the treatment, or when I just needed to cry. You kept my secret perfectly and could always tell when something had happened or when I needed to be alone. You and Perrie are amazing together, and I really hope that you marry her someday. I want you to be happy Zayn, if I do leave this world; promise me that you’ll, Carry On. You’ll remember me but you will live a happy and fulfilling life. But please, Carry On.” I said and he finally lost his bravado and tears started to flow from his cheeks.
“I promise. I promise that I will Carry On, but I will never forget. You have been an amazing influence on me and you are the reason I have finally been able to stop smoking. I swear I will never touch another cigarette in my life. Thank you for letting me help you and comfort you when you didn’t want anyone else to know. Thank you for showing me what bravery is. I’ve seen you during your chemo, when you had needles prodding your skin and only once or twice did you truly show how scared you were. Thank you for coming into our lives and changing it. You have truly helped us grow, and Niall finally found his Princess. Thank you Lottie. I’ll never forget you.” A tear trickled down my cheek as Zayn gave me a long hug. He kissed my cheek and forehead, and like Harry, he lingered a little bit longer. He started to walk away and turned to face me when he reached the door. He gently patted Niall on the back, gave me a smile and a wave which I returned then walked out of the room, making sure to close it.
“Niall?” Niall slowly lifted his head and I was happy to see that there weren’t any more tears. He smiled weakly at me and scooted even closer. The bed was still very restricting though so he got up and carefully sat down next to me, making sure not to move any of the tubes. “Nia—” He cut me off.
“I Love You Charlotte Moren.” My mouth slightly parted in surprise at his words then closed as I tried to hold in tears. He Loved me. I was about to say it back when he started talking. “I love how you always take really deep breaths when you are scared or nervous, I love how you aren’t the kind of girl who needs tons of makeup or designer clothes, I love how you love music, how you can just get lost in a song. I love how you are obsessed with photos because you never got enough with Kylie, I love how you were more worried about your friends if you were to pass then yourself, I love how your eyes light up when you are truly happy, I love how I can make you blush with the smallest word, I love how you love your parents with all your might, I love how you accepted us and all our craziness, I love how you never let the paps and the rude comments get to you, I love how you love to read and can read for hours at a time, I love how you are an adventurous person, and I LOVE that you chose me to share the past month with. It truly has been the best month of my life, and I wish it could go on forever. I Love You Charlotte Moren.” He ended his speech, the whole time he had been looking directly into my eyes, making it all the more powerful. I had tears running down by face, but they were tears of pure joy. I can’t believe he noticed all those things about me. Things I had never told anyone. Like how I loved pictures because I have so few with Kylie. I was breathless and Niall was just staring at me with a small blush and a tiny smile on his lips.
“Niall Horan. I love you Niall Horan. You are the best thing that has EVER happened to me.” I said and he smiled at me, his eyes dancing with tears. “I love your accent, I love how you wear snapbacks, I love how you don’t care about whether or not you have abs, I love how you can eat a whole Christmas dinner for twelve and still be hungry, I love how you asked me out with your guitar and voice, I love how you always have your arms around me, I feel so safe in your arms. I love how you have never pushed me into doing something I didn’t want to do, I love how you call your mom almost every day just to hear her voice, I love how you smell like vanilla, I love how you always do a weird dance whenever you are in an awkward situation, I love how you can wear your hair both up and down, I love how you love to play guitar, how when you are playing nothing else matters, I love how your voice sounds, and how you are so passionate about, I love how you can drink like five beers and barely get drunk, I love how carefree you are, and I Love You. I wouldn’t have chosen anyone else to spend this last month with and I am glad that you chose to spend it with me. I Love You Niall Horan.” I ended my speech, still looking him in the eyes. A few tears had run down his cheeks but I knew they were tears of joy. A smile was on his lips as he squeezed my hand.
He reached one of his hands up and stroked my cheek. I leaned into it and closed my eyes, savoring his touch and what it did to me. He slowly moved the hand backward onto my neck. I opened my eyes and looked into his eyes. His eyes were filled with hoy, sadness, lust, passion and they were so beautiful. He put pressure on my neck, pulling it forward and I happily obliged. We both slowly leaned in and when our lips touched it was like our first kiss all over again. Fireworks went off in every millimeter of my body as his other hand trailed up my arm. My hands immediately went to his head, one tangling itself in his hair and the other on his neck. I pulled him closer to me as the kiss continued; our lips and tongues were moving in perfect synchronization, the kiss nothing but pure lust.
We both pulled away, breathing heavily, to regain our air supply. I looked up into his eyes, his forehead resting on mine, and saw only pure love. I knew I had the same look in my eyes. I kissed him again, a short sweet, but very powerful kiss. Niall understood everything I was trying to say without words. He kissed me, a short, powerful, and full of lust kiss, and I knew everything he was trying to tell me. We both closed our eyes and just stayed there; we were holding hands and just sitting there in perfect peace.
A knock sounded on the room and both our eyes opened. I wasn’t scared of dying, I was scared for Niall. A doctor walked in but neither of us paid him any attention. Niall leaned in for one last kiss. It completely overwhelmed me in such a short period of time. When he pulled back we both had tears in our eyes. He kissed my nose and then helped me out of the bed and into the wheel chair that was waiting next to it. The doctor came and took out all my needles, and Niall never let go of my hand. He walked beside me as the doctor wheeled me through the hospital. We reached a door and the doctor stopped.
“This is the farthest you can go. I will be back in a minute.” He walked off, leaving us alone. Niall bent down next to me, fighting back tears.
“Charlotte, Char, I love you, and I’ll love you until I die. You will always be my Love.” I smiled at his words and sniffled.
“Niall, Ni, I love you, you will always be my Love, But I need you to promise me something.” I took a breath. “If I don’t survive this procedure, you will grieve, but then you will move on. Don’t forget me, but don’t let that stop you from finding someone else to love. I give you my permission to love someone else; I want you to be happy.” I said and he looked at me with slight shock. “Promise me Niall.” I said in a little bit of a more serious tone.
“I…I…I promise, but no one can ever replace you. I love you.” He said simply and I smiled. He kissed me gently.
“I love you, Niall Horan.” He was still holding my hand and looking into my eyes as the doctor came back.
“It’s time.” He said and we both nodded. Niall sniffed back tears as the doctor grabbed my wheelchair. The doors opened and he slowly started to push me through them. Niall held on as long as he could, but finally, he had to let go.
I looked up at Harry as he walked up to me and sat down in the chair. He grabbed my free hand and held it tightly with both of his. There were a few tears making their ways down his cheeks. It made me so sad to see him in so much pain and so sad. “Harry.” He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. “You are an absolutely amazing friend. You understood how to help me, and made sure that I didn’t have to do anything that I wasn’t comfortable with, or put me in an awkward situation. You were there for me that night in the hospital, when I felt like giving up. Kylie was on my mind and I blamed myself. You helped to make me see straight and pull me out of the depression. I’m sorry to say that recently I have started to sink back into it, but just know that you helped me stay happy and keep my sights clear, and for that I am forever grateful to you. I know that someday you will find the perfect girl for you. I really am going to miss you.”
“Jules. You are the best thing that has ever happened to Niall. You truly are the Princess he has been waiting for.” He said and I smiled at looked at Niall with loving eyes. He glanced up at me with a small smile on his lips but tears in his eyes. I sadly looked back to Harry as Niall put his head back down. “You have been an outstanding friend to all of us and I can’t thank you enough for letting us into your life. I’m glad I was able to help you out of that dark place and to know that you felt safe enough to let your guard down around me. Life won’t be the same without you Jules.” He said and a tear escaped from my eye at his sweet words. He got up gave me a gentle hug and then kissed the tear away, his lips lingering longer than the others. He finally stood up tall, gave my hand one last squeeze and then slowly headed towards the door, waved goodbye and exited.
Zayn took Harry’s spot next to me and grabbed my hand as well. “Zayn, you are truly my brother. You were the first to know about me and you always helped me. You understood that sometimes I just needed to cry, you understood why I didn’t want to get close to everyone else at first, and you understood why I originally didn’t want Niall to know. You may not have agreed, but you understood. You were there for me when I had to shave my head, when I got bruises from the treatment, or when I just needed to cry. You kept my secret perfectly and could always tell when something had happened or when I needed to be alone. You and Perrie are amazing together, and I really hope that you marry her someday. I want you to be happy Zayn, if I do leave this world; promise me that you’ll, Carry On. You’ll remember me but you will live a happy and fulfilling life. But please, Carry On.” I said and he finally lost his bravado and tears started to flow from his cheeks.
“I promise. I promise that I will Carry On, but I will never forget. You have been an amazing influence on me and you are the reason I have finally been able to stop smoking. I swear I will never touch another cigarette in my life. Thank you for letting me help you and comfort you when you didn’t want anyone else to know. Thank you for showing me what bravery is. I’ve seen you during your chemo, when you had needles prodding your skin and only once or twice did you truly show how scared you were. Thank you for coming into our lives and changing it. You have truly helped us grow, and Niall finally found his Princess. Thank you Lottie. I’ll never forget you.” A tear trickled down my cheek as Zayn gave me a long hug. He kissed my cheek and forehead, and like Harry, he lingered a little bit longer. He started to walk away and turned to face me when he reached the door. He gently patted Niall on the back, gave me a smile and a wave which I returned then walked out of the room, making sure to close it.
“Niall?” Niall slowly lifted his head and I was happy to see that there weren’t any more tears. He smiled weakly at me and scooted even closer. The bed was still very restricting though so he got up and carefully sat down next to me, making sure not to move any of the tubes. “Nia—” He cut me off.
“I Love You Charlotte Moren.” My mouth slightly parted in surprise at his words then closed as I tried to hold in tears. He Loved me. I was about to say it back when he started talking. “I love how you always take really deep breaths when you are scared or nervous, I love how you aren’t the kind of girl who needs tons of makeup or designer clothes, I love how you love music, how you can just get lost in a song. I love how you are obsessed with photos because you never got enough with Kylie, I love how you were more worried about your friends if you were to pass then yourself, I love how your eyes light up when you are truly happy, I love how I can make you blush with the smallest word, I love how you love your parents with all your might, I love how you accepted us and all our craziness, I love how you never let the paps and the rude comments get to you, I love how you love to read and can read for hours at a time, I love how you are an adventurous person, and I LOVE that you chose me to share the past month with. It truly has been the best month of my life, and I wish it could go on forever. I Love You Charlotte Moren.” He ended his speech, the whole time he had been looking directly into my eyes, making it all the more powerful. I had tears running down by face, but they were tears of pure joy. I can’t believe he noticed all those things about me. Things I had never told anyone. Like how I loved pictures because I have so few with Kylie. I was breathless and Niall was just staring at me with a small blush and a tiny smile on his lips.
“Niall Horan. I love you Niall Horan. You are the best thing that has EVER happened to me.” I said and he smiled at me, his eyes dancing with tears. “I love your accent, I love how you wear snapbacks, I love how you don’t care about whether or not you have abs, I love how you can eat a whole Christmas dinner for twelve and still be hungry, I love how you asked me out with your guitar and voice, I love how you always have your arms around me, I feel so safe in your arms. I love how you have never pushed me into doing something I didn’t want to do, I love how you call your mom almost every day just to hear her voice, I love how you smell like vanilla, I love how you always do a weird dance whenever you are in an awkward situation, I love how you can wear your hair both up and down, I love how you love to play guitar, how when you are playing nothing else matters, I love how your voice sounds, and how you are so passionate about, I love how you can drink like five beers and barely get drunk, I love how carefree you are, and I Love You. I wouldn’t have chosen anyone else to spend this last month with and I am glad that you chose to spend it with me. I Love You Niall Horan.” I ended my speech, still looking him in the eyes. A few tears had run down his cheeks but I knew they were tears of joy. A smile was on his lips as he squeezed my hand.
He reached one of his hands up and stroked my cheek. I leaned into it and closed my eyes, savoring his touch and what it did to me. He slowly moved the hand backward onto my neck. I opened my eyes and looked into his eyes. His eyes were filled with hoy, sadness, lust, passion and they were so beautiful. He put pressure on my neck, pulling it forward and I happily obliged. We both slowly leaned in and when our lips touched it was like our first kiss all over again. Fireworks went off in every millimeter of my body as his other hand trailed up my arm. My hands immediately went to his head, one tangling itself in his hair and the other on his neck. I pulled him closer to me as the kiss continued; our lips and tongues were moving in perfect synchronization, the kiss nothing but pure lust.
We both pulled away, breathing heavily, to regain our air supply. I looked up into his eyes, his forehead resting on mine, and saw only pure love. I knew I had the same look in my eyes. I kissed him again, a short sweet, but very powerful kiss. Niall understood everything I was trying to say without words. He kissed me, a short, powerful, and full of lust kiss, and I knew everything he was trying to tell me. We both closed our eyes and just stayed there; we were holding hands and just sitting there in perfect peace.
A knock sounded on the room and both our eyes opened. I wasn’t scared of dying, I was scared for Niall. A doctor walked in but neither of us paid him any attention. Niall leaned in for one last kiss. It completely overwhelmed me in such a short period of time. When he pulled back we both had tears in our eyes. He kissed my nose and then helped me out of the bed and into the wheel chair that was waiting next to it. The doctor came and took out all my needles, and Niall never let go of my hand. He walked beside me as the doctor wheeled me through the hospital. We reached a door and the doctor stopped.
“This is the farthest you can go. I will be back in a minute.” He walked off, leaving us alone. Niall bent down next to me, fighting back tears.
“Charlotte, Char, I love you, and I’ll love you until I die. You will always be my Love.” I smiled at his words and sniffled.
“Niall, Ni, I love you, you will always be my Love, But I need you to promise me something.” I took a breath. “If I don’t survive this procedure, you will grieve, but then you will move on. Don’t forget me, but don’t let that stop you from finding someone else to love. I give you my permission to love someone else; I want you to be happy.” I said and he looked at me with slight shock. “Promise me Niall.” I said in a little bit of a more serious tone.
“I…I…I promise, but no one can ever replace you. I love you.” He said simply and I smiled. He kissed me gently.
“I love you, Niall Horan.” He was still holding my hand and looking into my eyes as the doctor came back.
“It’s time.” He said and we both nodded. Niall sniffed back tears as the doctor grabbed my wheelchair. The doors opened and he slowly started to push me through them. Niall held on as long as he could, but finally, he had to let go.
Notes
I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY IN UPDATES! My family went out of town for the weekend and there wasn't any internet! :(( But, I was able to write a lot, so I am sad to inform you that this story only has THREE chapters left! :( I'm sad but excited at the the same time! I am also going to post thhe first chapter of my new fanfic Fame Brought Us Together soon so be watching for it! Let me know what yo guys want to happen!!!!!!! I ENJOY YOUR COMMMENTS!COMMMENT~RATE~SUBSCRIBE
Awesome!:) and I know exactly how you feel!=]
7/21/13