Mirrors (A Harry Styles Fanfic)

I haven't turned on the telly since June. I decided to restore my daily use of a cell phone two weeks ago, only because Markie took a trip to New York with some of his classmates... and James. He begged me to have my phone with me so he could keep pestering about "how are you feeling?" and the impending "how are you?" about three times a day.

For the most part, I'm fine. I'm still hurting, and I can't go a second without pain coursing through me when I even think about him. Or her.

After I saw that he had moved on, and had replaced me with her, something clicked in me. Like a bright bulb that made me realize he wasn't coming back. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

He was so quick to get over me, it's agonizing to think about... to see. I can't be so fast, I physically can't just forget about him and how he made me feel. I can't even forget about how awful he made me feel, how breathless and hopeless... and pathetic. Despite my heartache, I can't help but smile at thoughts of him, smile and hurt all at the same time.

He's still the most beautiful thing to happen to me. And I miss him, and I can't ignore those feelings anymore. I miss his friendship, his face, his words, his hands, his warm eyes...

I shake my head, trying to rid of the negative thoughts. Or positives, I have no idea what's wrong and what's right anymore. Bella tugs at my arm and pulls me towards a clothing rack.

This is the first time I'm hanging out with her since everything with my father and with Harry happened. She asked me to go shopping with her before she left to visit Niall on tour again.

"Hey, have you talked to your dad about everything?" She asked as she picked up a tan blouse.

"No, I barely see him."

"I can't believe you talk more to Jane now, that your own father," she half laughed as she traded the tan coloured top for a light pink.

"Well, she's the only one that has been treated unfairly here," I say, I tug at my long hair and pull it up into a ponytail.

"Hey, Why are you wearing a dress?" She says while pointing at my grey outfit...the grey dress.

"It's the only thing that fits me," I say as I look down at my dress. It's true; my jeans and shorts don't fit anymore, even with a belt, and my leggings are worn out.

"Dude, this needs to stop," she puts a hand on my shoulder and squeezes warmly, "you need to eat, what size are you now? Let's get you some jeans."

"No, I don't have the money to be buying clothes, I'm fine with what I have." I protest.

"Piper, what's your size, I got this," she walks past me and heads to where the jeans are.

I sight and follow her, "Eight," I whisper.

Bella turns abruptly, wide eyed, "You went down two sizes! Piper what are you doing to yourself-"

"Bella, I'm fine okay? Don't make a big deal-"

"You're practically starving yourself because of that idiot! I knew he'd hurt you!" she's waving her arms now, I knew the "I told you so" would happen eventually.

"I just don't get hungry, okay?" my voice is angered, even after he's truly hurt me I defend him, "Please don't get him involved in this?"

"Piper, did you eat breakfast?" her brow raised.

"Not today," I look down at my shoes, "I had a cup of tea."

"Okay, forget this shit," she throws the clothing she's carrying on a rack and pulls me towards the door.

"Where are we going?"

"To get you some food!" I sight through my nose and follow her out of the door.

"I'm sorry Piper, but this is pathetic," she says once we're sitting outside a burger place while I try to eat my double cheeseburger, this shit is huge, "you not eating because the Harry Styles broke up with you."

"Don't." I want her, I don't want to talk about him.

"Piper, you need to move on! He has, and it's time you do too," the reminder of his complete departure from me makes my stomach churn, I almost stop eating the burger. But I'm actually hungry.

Maybe I have been acting so pitiful. Maybe the only way I'll be okay is if I forget about it, or at least try! Try to smile more, and pay attention to the people around me and cooperate with my friend.

"I guess."

She grabs one of my fries, "You should come to Italy with me."

"Are you insane?" I stare at her wide eyed; my burger falls from my hands and onto the plate.

"No! Piper, in the only person you're talking to aside from your family!"

"I'm not ready to see him and pretend like everything is okay, Bella, please don't."

"Piper-"

"I hang out with Nick!" I protest.

"Twice since the break up."True.

"So? I don't need to be in the same place as him, I have no business there," the thought of being close to him but not being close to him is torture.

"You can't stop being friends with people because they're friends with him, Piper!" she rolls her eyes at me and I raise a brow at her.

"Niall misses you," I look down at the burger. I miss Niall too, and Lou, and Zayn, and Gemma, and even Louis and Liam who I'd rarely talk to.

"When was the last time you talked to Gemma?" She says after a long silence.

"I don't know, Miami?"

"I'm sure she misses you, you said it yourself 'she loves me!'" she said mockingly.

"Don't make fun of her, she didn't hurt me."

"I'm not making fun of her." she smirks. "Come to Italy, you don't have to go to the shows, you can hang out with Lou who hasn't stopped asking about you although she's really close to Harry, apparently, and we're also going to Spain! You cannot let me go to Spain without you!"

"Bella-" I start to whine.

"Please? You know I will keep him away from you and vice versa, yeah?"

"I doubt he'd want to see me." I whisper low enough for only myself, "Fine, Bella." I sight.

"Yes!" she grabs my arms and squeals.... Bella never squeals.

"Maybe, I still need to check if I have enough for that."

"Can't you ask your dad-"

"Fuck no! I'm not taking anything from him." I'm not even talking to him, how the hell and why the hell would I ask him for money of all things.

I hope I don't have enough so I don't actually end up going to this thing.

I end up actually eating my whole burger, then we head back to the store where Bella buys some things (including a pair of jeans she makes me promise that won't fit me in a month), and then we head over to her house.

My stomach starts to hurt because of the burger and I almost throw up so I decide to leave Bella watching Doctor Who and head up to her room to sleep for a while before going to visit Nan next door.

"Piper!"

I jump up, startled and dazed, Bella stands by the door with a grin on her face.

"What?" my voice is rough and my throat is dry.

"I told Niall you're going to," she said grinning.

I rub my eyes to help me wake up, "How long was I out?"

"Erm... like thirty minutes, but anyway, he said he's sending their jet once they arrive in two days so we don't have to pay for our tickets!"

"What, no!" I stand from the bed and almost trip on the pillow I'm the floor, "Did you at least protest?"

"What? No, it's Niall! You swear he'd let me take the normal plane if he can make a jet happen!"
Glad she's excited, but I'm not. I grab my messy, damaged hair and pull it into a ponytail.Maybe it's time for a haircut.

"So, that means you can come!"

"I still need to make sure I have money for it, I still don't have a job and I won't be getting one soon I guess."

"Why not?"

"I think I'm going back to school." I've been thinking about this for the past month. I rely don't know what I want to do, and maybe taking a couple of Creative Writing classes might help. I'm good at them, I would do Dana's homework back in New York and it was quite interesting. It's a start, anyway; it wouldn't hurt to try, right?

"But you hated it in New York?" her expression is sad, yet worried as her eyebrows furrowed.

"I'm not going to the U.S., I'll take classes at Birkbeck and probably dorm there, I don't want to live with my father, and I don't want to bother Nan."

Bella runs over and hugs me, "You better not leave," she whispers.

"I won't." I half laugh.

"I fucking hate him," she says as she walks out. "You're still going!" she screams from the stairs.

I walk over to Nan's, who just pulled over into her parking lot, I guess she was out.
"Piper!" she says as she walks out.

"Hi, Nan," I walk over and pull her into a hug, those warm hugs she gives.

"And she speaks!" she says dramatically as we pull away.

"Where did you go?" I ask, "On a date," I raise my eyebrows playfully at her.

"Ha ha, no," she puts an arm around me as we walk up her steps. "I went to deposit a some money to an account."

"Why?" I ask curiously, she not the one to keep so many accounts, she says it confuses her.

"Because, you need money for Italy and Spain."

"What? Nan!" Fucking Bella.

"Piper, you need this trip," she smiles warmly, I know she didn't mean any harm, "consider it an early birthday present."

"Nan, I don't actually want to go."

She brushes my hair with her hand, "You never know what could happen if you go visit."

"I don't want to see him, and he sure as hell doesn't want to see me."

"You don't know that Piper, he really loved you."No, he didn't. I shake my head and step inside my old home.

--------

I'm trying to calm down, and not think so much as the jet is about to land. I don't want to see him, I'm not ready for this.I wonder if he knows I'm coming...probably not. And I'm okay with that, as long as he doesn't show up in my vision I will stay sane the next few days.

I had finally felt like I could breathe, I had spoken to my father yesterday, for the first time since the fight and it all turned out... well, just okay.

*
"You know that will keep asking for your forgiveness until you give me another chance, Piper" my father said with such confidence, as if his body language alone would make up my mind.

"I know, dad," I sigh in exasperation, "but I cannot, I repeat, I cannot, look past all this mess. You completely and absolutely lied to us in the worst way, how am I supposed to be okay with that. You kept this for so long, instead of telling the truth, just for your selfish reasons. It took Harry and Jane warning you to speak up for you to actually take action.

"Not to mention the fact that you saw the way I treated Jane, and although you tried to stop it, you could see the hatred I had for her. A hatred that should've never been felt.

"You betrayed my mother, my brother, and me. I cannot just forget it." I run my fingers through my hair and take a deep breath.

"I know Piper, and I am paying for that now. I want to be in both, your brother's and your life. I want both of you in Prim's. If you won't do it for me, do it for her. And as for that boy, I knew he was trouble for you."

"Please don't talk to me about Harry." I can only deal with one thing at a time.

"I'm just being honest," I snort at his words, "I am Piper, he was so quick to leave you and go with someone else-"

"Dad, shut up." I warn him. My heart beat is accelerating, and my breathing is heavy.

"I just want to be here for you, you're my daughter." his expression is sad and foreign, and I wonder if it will always feel strange or if I will eventually get used to this: him being nice to me.

"Okay, dad," I look into his eyes and take a deep breath, "I will put it aside and try to have a normal relationship with you and Jane. I cannot speak for Markie."

He looks down at his shoes, "I know, he's fuming with hatred."

"Yeah.."

"But thank you, Piper," he pulls me into a quick foreign hug and smiles.
*

"Keep me away from him, I beg of you Bella," I ask her as we step out of the jet. Niall is waiting at the bottom of the stairs, with Zayn and his friend Sean.

"I will, don't worry."

The weather is warm, and the heat feels nice against my skin. I decided to wear the jeans Bells bought me, and a light blue shirt with a jean vest. I didn't wear makeup and I let my messy hair down. If I were to bump into him I don't want to look nice, I didn't come here to see him.

"Ella!" Niall runs and grabs Bella, kissing her and making me look away. Sean looks at me and rolls his eyes and sticks his tongue out in "disgust" at Biall.

He walks over and stretches out his hand for me, "Hi Piper, nice to see you again," his smile is wide and friendly. I hadn't noticed before but his hair is really blonde, like Niall's, but his seems to be original.

"Nice to see you too, Sean," I try to smile, but I'm sure I failed miserably.

"Piper!" Zayn pulls me into a hug. He smells of cologne and smoke.

"Hi Zayn," I say as he pulls away.

"You're coming to our show tonight, right?" he asks as he and Niall lead us to their car.

"Erm, I don't think that's a good idea," I smile lightly at him.

"Nonsense, it'd be great," he says as we reach the car. I sit in the back with him while the other three sit in the second row.

"You don't have to look at him, you know?" he whispers once the car is moving.

"I know, but it'd be impossible to pretend like I don't hear his voice," I start playing with my fingers, scraping the blue nail polish.

"I'm sorry," he drapes and arm around me, "but for the record, he's worse than you."
I half laugh, "I doubt that."

"I don't like the choices he's made, include that on the record," he smiles at me.

I can't help but snort, "Look who's talking," I laugh.

"Hey!" he points a finger at me, "we're talking about love choices here!" he laughs, and I laugh truthfully with him.

"Harry's staying in the hotel, would you rather stay in the bus?" Niall asks once we're in the hotel parking lot and grabbing our luggage. "Lou and Zayn are staying there, I think Louis is also there."

Bella smiles at me and nods.

"Yeah, I'll just stay in the bus."

"Cool, it's just for one night, we fly to Spain tomorrow," he smiles and pulls Bella away towards the hotel.

"You coming to play video games man?" Zayn pats Sean's shoulder.

"Sure, man." he smiles at me, and this time actually smile back.

As I sit on t the bunk I'll be sleeping in, I can't help but let the weight of the situation fall on me. Harry is feets away from me, floors away from me. All it takes is for him to walk and take an elevator and walk more until he finds me.

I bite my lower lip as it start quivering, I run my fingers through my hair. My feet start tapping the floor.You're acting crazy Piper!

"Does he know?" I ask Zayn, who is playing some shooting game with Sean.

"Who?"

I don't answer because I know he's not going to pay attention. I stand up and paste the bus. The door to the bus opens and I panic, I look for the button that produces the sliding door between the bus to buy me some time to hide, but a few seconds later Lou walks in.

"Piper?" She asks, her eyes are wide eyed as she looks at me and then back at the door.

"Yeah," I sight, "I thought you were-" I bring my hand up to my chest.

"He doesn't know you're here." she states.

I shake my head, I take a deep breath, "You were with him?"

"Yeah, but he didn't mention- Zayn!" She walks past me and into the game room.

The door opens again but I don't have time to panic before Louis steps inside.

"Piper!" He says with a frown, but it immediately phases to a grin, "How are you, love?" he hugs me.

"Erm... alive?"

"Good," he winks at me and then steps into the game room.

"Okay, Zayn says Harry doesn't know you're here," Lou says as she steps out of the game room. Her hair is pastel pink, she's wearing a worn out black tee shirt and ripped blue jeans.

"Okay." is all I can truly say. She smiles warmly at me, and pulls me into a hug.

"Gemma is coming over once we're in Spain," she says into the hug. I missed people hugging me.

"Really?" I say as she pulls away, "I've missed her," I whisper.

"Trust me, she's missed you too."

"I love your hair," I say to change the subject, but I do like her hair.

"Yes, well I don't even like yours love, it looks like shit!" she laughs as she tries to run a finger through my tangled damaged forest.

"Yeah," I laugh with her, "I need a haircut," I say looking down at my hair. It's just at my waist, but it's not healthy, especially after I dyed it.

"How about we take off that, now awful, light brown and make it slightly darker, and give you a haircut?" She smirks.

"Please?" I need something fresh, something new. I guess it's true what they say about girls and hair after a breakup.

An hour and a half later, my hair is at my shoulders and darker than before, but not at its original dark.

I like it, when I run my fingers through it it's soft and untangled.

"Thanks Lou," I say as I stand from the chair next to the sink.

"You're welcome, that's what hairstylist are for," she smiles.

"Wow, how long were we in there?" Sean says as he and Zayn step out of the game room.

"Way too long, I need my laptop now!" she points at Zayn, "Where did you hide it, you little shit!"
Sean and I laugh as the other two argue inside the game room.

"It looks good, fresh start right?" his accent is thicker than before.

"Yeah, I guess," I give him a crooked smile and grab the trash bag filled with my old hair.

I step out of the bus and look for a trash can. I give up after a couple minutes and walk inside the hotel, through I now realize is the back door; who knows what would happen if it was the front doors. I walk through the halls until I find the lobby and a trash can close by. From inside I can see thousands of fans outside the hotel and I try not to panic ,they can't see me, right? I dump the bag in the trash, as I turn and start walking the elevators doors beside me open.

"Piper?"

It's that voice. The one that has been haunting me for the past two months. The one I've been trying to abruptly run away from.

I freeze in place, part of me wants to turn, but the saner parts want to run, just fucking run.

"Pipes, is that you?"

"Don't-" I turn around and I immediately forget what I was about to say. Green eyes are looking at me, he has shadows under his eyes, his hair is pulled back by a bandana, he's wearing black jeans and a colourful flannel. And I forgot how to breathe.

"You cut your hair?" he whispers. His brows are furrowed in... confusion? Pain? Anger?

I don't know him anymore.

"Yes," my body remembers to breathe, I wrap my arms around my waist.

"Why are you-"

"I don't think we should be talking right now," I finally look away from him and stare at the plant beside him.

"Right," he whispers.

"Erm," I look back at his eyes, are they sad? Or is it anger? Or annoyance? "Goodbye, Harry."
Right before I walk away, I see him flinch.

Don't call me Pipes.That's what I was going to say.

Notes

Hey guys! Thank you so much for the 15K!! This is a long chapter lol, I didn't want to stop writing lol. Anyways, I will definitely update on Friday, I will try my best to update before that. Please comment and vote, I'd really appreciate it!

ps. I will try to attach a photo of Piper's new Hair.