Mirrors (A Harry Styles Fanfic)

I walk back to the car with Bella, feeling happier than gloom. Yeah, he's gone, but I got to see him before he leaves for three weeks, they're playing in Ireland and then the UK so I hope I get to see him then. After seeing him, I want to try and stay more positive about the whole thing, I don't want to make him worry and make him think that I can't do this. I can be apart from him for a while, I've done it before. I don't just want to convince him, but me as well.

"Did you know?" I ask Bella as we step inside my car.

She smiles lightly, "About Harry?"

I nod, it was such a sweet surprise, that was the last thing I expected to see when I was on my way, maybe I expected a text not him in the flesh.

"Yeah, Niall told me," she puts her seatbelt on as I make my way out of Heathrow.
I turn the radio on and a song by HAIM is playing, I smile to myself as I reminisce on the time Harry and I were on our way to Holmes.

"So you and Niall," I start, I never know how to bring up this subject with her. It’s very difficult to see where she is with it, she's not like Niall; an open book, completely brave with his emotions. They are so different, yet I see it work out for them, but I can also see it fail miserably. It's difficult with Bella.

"Niall and I..." she stays quiet for a while, lost in her own thoughts.

"I like him, a lot," she says finally, I turn to her and smile lightly. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, afraid she'll react badly if I get excited.

"He likes you, too."

"He said he's in love with me," she sights, her voice with a hint of annoyance, "he's too much sometimes."

"What do you mean?" I ask carefully, trying not to sound too defensive of Niall.

"He-he doesn't give me space, he throws everything at me," she says exasperated, "I like being with him, but sometimes he will say something that... I don't know..."

"Scares you?" I ask.

"Yeah, it does."

I don't want to push her anymore so I drop the conversation, letting her get lost in her thoughts. As we reach my apartment I wonder if maybe I should've continued talking to her and not have let her think too much about Niall. When we step inside, Markie is watching telly and eating a bag of popcorn
.
"Hey guys! Emotional yet?" he asks without taking his eyes from the Kardashians.

"Shut up," Bella says as she ruffles his hair. I slump on the couch next to him and start eating from the bag. I see Bella walk into the restroom.

"Harry was there," I whisper with a grin, to my brother.

"No way," he whispers excitedly, "what did he say?"

"Just kissed me goodbye," I smile.

"You do realize that they're going to South America right?" he says.

"Er, yeah," I know that's what Harry said, "what about it?"

"South America is very close to North America, and not the UK," he raises a brow.

Harry flew all the way back to England, only to fly back to the part of the world he was before. He only tired himself more, flew more for no reason.

"Why do you think he did that?" I ask curiously, I hope my assumption isn't true, "Did you see any pictures of him with his mum today?"

"No, Piper, he did all that just to see you before he left for like a month," he grins at me.

I smile, and blush a little. I can't believe he would do all that for me, but I'm not sure if I'm okay with it. Yeah, it was absolutely romantic, but he's tiring himself more for just five minutes with me, beautiful five minutes... I'm skeptical about it; I'm glad he did it, but I'm unhappy he did it. I make a note to myself, to mention it to him when he calls.

We spend the afternoon watching shows I've never actually seen before, but I don't mind, some of them are actually funny. We order some pizza and laugh along to the jokes the character say. I feel better now; I think it has to do with seeing Harry, or maybe Bella's and my brothers company. Maybe it's both, but what matters is that I'm not crying in my bed and being depressing. It's hard to be away from him, even as I sit on the floor, the empty spot beside me reminds me that he's flying even further away from me, but he's doing what he loves and I can't be selfish. It feels awful that I have to keep reminding myself not to be selfish, like I'm doing something wrong.

I try not to think negative as I make my way to bed, Bella already asleep in my bed and Markie in the small "guest room." I don't want to think about the way I was acting, or might act as Harry's absence downs deeper in me. I step into bed next to Bella, where Harry usually slept, I hug the pillow and fall into a deep sleep with a smile on my face.

Saturday morning I wake up to laughter and the smell of pancakes, I smile as I slip on a long kimono cardigan and make my way to the kitchen. Markie and Bella are running around the kitchen throwing pancake powder mix at each other, they notice me and stop running, laughing nonetheless.

"We left you a couple pancakes," Bella laughs.

"Left? You two ate already?" I ask as I grab a plate.

"Yeah, it's eleven am," Markie says, laughter faintly in his voice.

"Oh shit," I say, I hadn't realized I'd slept that much.

"You don't go into work today right?" he asks as they both start cleaning the counter.

I start eating my food, standing by the counter, "No," I laugh, "I work early in the morning, remember?" Once I finish eating, I help them clean up, then go in for a shower.

"Can I borrow some clothes?" Bella says from the living room as I step inside my bedroom once I'm out of the shower.

"Sure!" I scream so she can hear me as I step inside the closet.

"Oh, mum said if you wanted to come for lunch, since you haven't been around for a while," Bella says from my room, "Markie too."

"I'd love to," I feel like I've been neglecting people because of Harry. I have. This is how it will be for a while though, when Harry is here, I have to spend as much time with him as I can before he flies away again.

I slip on my grey dress, memories of Harry and I in my room after he came back from Los Angeles float in my mind. I sight, holding my hand up to my chest and close my eyes; his green beautiful eyes stare at me as his breathtaking dimpled grin appears. I shake my head, I can’t torture myself with images of him when I’m supposed to be distracting myself. I put on some strapped wedges and walk out of my closet, I put my hair up in a high ponytail and walk out to check on Markie.

“So,” he says as I walk into the living room, “according to dad, Jane’s parents have arrived,” he scrolls through his phone.

“Cool,” I say absolutely uninterested in her family.

“Yeah… her mum doesn't like me one bit.”

I search through the channels; Saturday telly is hell, “Why do you say that?” I settle for a game show I've never really seen before.

“Because, she always has something to say about the ‘homosexual community in America’,” he says faking an awful accent.

“Just ignore the old tosser,” I slip my arm through his, “talked to James?”

He grins at me, “He wants to go out tomorrow,” the smile on his face is infectious, “oh, and he really wants to meet you.”

“I would love to!” I hear Bells walk out of my room; seconds later she appears in the living room.

“Go shower,” I push Markie.

“Babe, I think your phone is ringing,” I jump up and run to the kitchen where I left it charging before I showered. My heart leaps as I see Harry’s name pop up.

“Hi!” I say into the phone.

“Hi, baby,” his voice sounds tired, the smile fading from my lips, “how are you?”

“Good,” I lie.

“You’re lying,” he states without hesitation.

“And you’re tired.”

He clears his throat, “No, I am not.”

“Harry, why did you do that?”

“Do what?” I roll my eyes, and then remember he can't see me.

“Fly from America only to fly back,” I sight, “was that just for me?” part of me hopes it was, the sane part of me hopes it wasn’t.

“Yes.”

“Harry-“

“Piper, it’s okay, I wanted to do that,” he sights, I can picture his fingers running through his hair, “I missed you so much, I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too, but that is no reason for you to exhaust your body more, Harold,” I smile at the thought that ran through my head, “unless it’s nonstop sex of course,” he chuckles, as soon as I said it I remembered Bella in the other room. I walk deeper into the kitchen so she won't hear me.

“I wish that was the reason for my body aching right now, baby,” his voice is low and deep, the pit of my stomach burns and I bite my lip.

“So you are in pain,” I try to slightly change the subject.

“Anything happened while I’ve been gone?”

I follow his attempt to completely change the subject, “Jane threw a baby shower to which I was not invited, got into a small argument with my father and Jane, Markie wasn't so fond of their idea of excluding me.”

“Are you okay with it?”

“Honestly, yeah, I don't care anymore,” I sight, trying to think about the right way to express what I want to say, “I care about Prim, and I guess I do want a relationship with my father, I don't care for Jane or her judgmental parents.” I do want to be close to my father; maybe I need it more than I thought before.

I've been floating around so long, Nan is an amazing woman, and I love her to death but she isn’t mum. She is like a mother, but not the mum that gave birth to me and was with me for most part of my life. I know my father is trying, maybe not the right way, and possibly horribly trying, but I should be trying too. I’m still not so sure about Jane, my heart just refuses to accept her apology, Did she apologize?

“I know my father is trying, maybe I’m the one not trying,” I pull at my bottom lip as I lean against the counter, an action I just realize i picked up from Harry.

“Don’t blame yourself, you have it hard,” his tome comforting and warm, “he hurt you a lot, as well as Jane.”

“Yeah,” I sight, “I wish you were here.”

“So do I,” I sight at his deep voice, “baby, who’s Prim?”

“Oh, that’s the baby’s name,” I smile.

“You sound excited about the baby,” I can hear the dimpled grin.

“Yeah, I am.”

“You wanna know something?” he says excitedly.

“Yeah?”

“Technically, we have been dating for about three months,” I think about his revelation, for the beginning of our relationship we were in a strange place, with the whole Kendall thing. But, technically we've been together since mid-February and it’s now the end of April.

“Almost,” I smile, “we don't actually have an exact day..”

“Let’s make it the fourteen, alright?”

“Why the fourteen?” I ask curiously.

“Because Valentine’s day,” I can see the grin on his voice.

I giggle, “That is so cheesy Harry!” I laugh as he laughs at my response, “Why not the fifteen, it’s a day after, we get to celebrate twice on that month.”

“We can have a two day Valentine’s Day!” he says excitedly.

“You are a child,” I giggle, “It wouldn’t be Valentine’s Day anymore.”

“Even better!” he says excitedly, his voice doesn't sound tired anymore and I wonder if I had anything to do with it, “But anyways, I wanted to suggest something?”

“Okay, you're scaring me,” I hope it’s nothing crazy, “what is it?” I ask curiously.

“I don't get a break until May 13, so I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come to Miami with me?” his voice is slow and careful, as if afraid of my answer.

“I will check if I'm working then,” I say cautiously.

“I was thinking,” he whispers, “maybe we could have our families with us.” I don't know how to take this offer, should I be scared or excited?

“Er, I don't know, Jane will probably just have given birth, plus her parents are here,” I think about what my father said about Harry and I wonder if that would be a good idea, to have both in the same place.

“Jane could use a holiday?” he says, I know he’s trying his best to convince me, “So can Luna, and it will be great to have our families meet, don’t you think, baby?” the use of the nickname makes my insides churn, he knows exactly how to get through me.

“I will check at work, I promise,” I say honestly, “if not, we can wait ‘till the summer.”

“Alright,” he sights, “I gotta go, baby, I will talk to you later, I love you,” his voice is so soft.

“Okay, I love you, too baby.” I can't help but pout when the line ends.

I make my way out, as I'm about to sit down at the couch next to Bells, Markie runs out of my bedroom; his eyes wide and he only managed to put on some pants.

“The baby is early!”

“What!” I stand up straight, “Like right now?!” I realize we're talking really loud.

“Holy shit,” I hear Bella say as I run to my room to grab my purse. I grab my phone and tell my brother to call our father as we head to my car.

“He says they're almost at the hospital, let me call Nan and let her know we're on our way.”

As I park in Nan’s driveway, I realize I haven't been here in a while, I haven't seen my own grandmother in what seems forever. With the two shifts, and Harry around for a while, I've kept myself so busy. Nan walks out- more like runs out, and sits in the back with Markie, she gives him a small hug and places her hand on my shoulder which I squeeze lightly. Bella insisted on coming so we didn't waste any time, I don't see how though because I thought she was staying with her parents who live right next door to Nan

Thirty minutes later, we're at the hospital Jane is at, Markie makes sure about where she is and we make our way to our father, Jane, Jane’s parents and our… new sister. As we ride the elevator I eye Markie next to me, he’s biting on his nails, he sees me staring and smiles nervously. I know what he’s thinking, it’s so strange to have someone new in our lives the way we are to each other. It’s much more foreign to him, I’ve been his only sibling his whole life, and now another human being is going to come along that will look up to us, need us there to protect her. It’s terrifying, what if I fuck up? What if she doesn't like me? What if Markie chooses her over me? That’s stupid, she’s a baby! She’s not even born yet and I'm fearing the worst. My father’s words play over in my mind, “she’s giving me another chance,” he referred to Jane. This baby is a new beginning for him, maybe even a new me, and with Markie living there, it’s technically a whole new family. I hope he treats her better than he treated me. Part of me knows I'm not really part of his new family, but Prim is also my sister and I want to be part of her’s and Markie’s life, and if my father doesn’t forget to still try with me his too. I grab Markie’s hand, he looks up at me wide eyed.

“You're going to be an awesome big brother, Markie,” I smile at him and try to keep the tears in my eyes from falling.

“You’re the best big sister I could've ever asked for,” he chokes, he wraps his arms around me and sobs into my chest, “mum would be so proud for how amazing you treated me, please don’t replace me with her?” Oh my gosh, Nan sobs behind us.

This whole time I was worrying about him forgetting about his old, boring, nineteen year old sister, when he thinks I’ll replace him with Prim. I guess I can see how he would think that, but it’s completely insane, I hug him tight, “Markie you are the only thing I have left of her, you can never be replaced, just like no one can replace mum.”

“You’re right,” he wipes his nose, “she’s going to be the cutest baby ever,” he grins, I nod.

“You’ll be the big brother to protect her from bad boys, and I’ll hand her a beer at her fifteenth birthday,” I joke and we both laugh, Nan swats my arm but laughter still visible in her “serious face.”

It’s nine pm as dad walks out of Jane’s room and into the waiting room, all six of us have been out here for hours, drinking coffee and freaking the fuck out. Jane’s parents stand up immediately, Nan hands my father a cup of coffee and he gulps it down.

“Her water just broke,” he breathes out, “she’s about to start pushing,” he turns to Jane’s mum, “you want to come inside Mrs. Adams?” she nods and they both walk inside.

Mr. Adams gives Markie the 100th dirty look and I roll my eyes at him. I take out my phone and send a quick text to Harry.

Me: Prim is about to come, we're all a bit nervous. And I want to punch my baby sister’s grandparents. I miss you.

I hand Markie my phone so he can text his boyfriend since his phone’s battery died. When he returns it, I have a message from Harry, I wonder what time it is where he’s at.

Dimples: Good luck baby, don't be nervous. Send a picture of the little one once shoes out into the world! I miss you, too, so much. I love you, and think about Miami:)

I smile at the text, I take a sip of my coffee, why aren't I drinking tea, coffee makes it worse for my nerves! My father walks out of the room with the most foreign smile; big, wide, showing his teeth and… are those tears? He ignores Mr. Adams and waves for Markie and I to walk inside, we practically run.

Jane is smiling as my father walks in, her mother has a blanket which now I realize is the baby. The doctors are out, I’m surprised they didn't take the baby for a bath, Jane smiles at Markie and doesn’t look at me, until I walk towards her mother, who stares at me wide eyed; she'd been completely mesmerized by Prim. I extend my arms, she hesitates.

“Please? She’s my sister,” I whisper, she looks at Jane and hands the baby over. Prim stirs under my hold, her face looks so soft and peaceful, her eyes are shut and I’m anxious to see their color, her mouth is slightly open and I can’t help but run my fingers through her tiny baby lips. Her nose is small and perfect, her hands tiny and beautiful as they wrap around my finger, memories of baby Markie make me smile, she actually looks a lot like baby Markie.

“Hi Prim,” I whisper, “I’m your big sister Piper, and I promise to protect you and love you no matter what, Pri”

“You already gave her a nickname,” Markie smiles as he extends his arms, “may I?” I grin and hand my little brother our brand new baby sister, Prim Harris.

Notes