Mirrors (A Harry Styles Fanfic)

Still spellbound by Harry's version of "You & I" I stare at our entwined fingers, his head on my shoulders, breathing next to my ear. His breaths fanning out, gracing my cheek.

"I wish we could be like this forever," he kisses my cheek and stands us both up, bringing me into his arms facing him, "but we have to pack."

"Pack?" What is he planning now, I don't want to leave. I don't like that he likes leaving London after he's been so long on tour, and now when he's about to leave again.

"Yeah, I thought we'd go to Los Angeles for two days, head over to Palm Springs for a day and come back before I have to leave."

I think about what to say, should I just tell him I'd rather stay here and abandon his good-intention plans? Or throw myself into another plane to please him."Okay," I smile, he gives me a questioning look; his brows rising and his lips in a thin line.

"You don't want to go?" the pained look he gives me is heartbreaking, his arms pull me close to him and he rests his forehead on mine.

"Of course I do," I lie, "I'm just worried about the jetlag, particularly for you, when you're about to leave and lack your brain of sleep in a greater number." This isn't a lie, I don't know why he doesn't just want to lay in bed. Maybe even naked, all day. With me.

"Don't worry, I'm used to it," he pecks my lips and walks into his closet.

All this work-and-not-enough-sleep they all do is going to have a toll on their bodies. I understand that he's young and energetic, but I can't figure out why he is willing to put his body through this while on "holiday." I have this urge to protect him and tell him he's wrong; that he needs to lay in bed, eat some food and stop flying everywhere. But I can't come in between what he wants to do while he can do it.

He drives me home in silence and I wonder why, Did I do something wrong? I reach for the stereo and turn on his iPod, Antichrist by The 1975 starts playing. I look out the window and try not to be so paranoid about his silence. When the lyrics start the song stops, I turn to look at him, his lips in a grin line and his brows furrowed angrily.

"Why don't you want to go?" I can't hide anything from him, can I?

"Why are you always fleeing London?" his expression phases to confusion, then back to anger.

"I'm not fleeing, answer my question Piper."

He only calls me Piper when it's serious, "I don't like the whole flying all over when you're on a break, and honestly I'm exhausted. I have absolutely no idea how you can do it."

"This is my life Piper, you know that. I love going to Los Angeles when I'm on break and I'm always going to do that, I want you to come with me," his voice softens as he looks at me shortly, then turning his attention back to the road, "I want you to fly in when I'm in tour wherever I am."

"Of course I will, but you're about to leave and I don't want to waste time in a fucking plain trying to catch our sleep, Harry," I sound like an irritating child but it's true, "I get that you want to visit your friends there and I'm sorry that I'm being selfish for wanting you with me but I'm not going."

Shit, I'm not going? No, I have a job that I can't keep missing because my boyfriend wants to get on a plane and fly to California whenever he pleases.

"You're not going?" the scowl still on his face. I don't want to fight, and I don't want him to be angry with me either but I need to hold my ground.

"I planned this trip for you Piper." my heart sinks.

"I have a job Harry."

"Why can't you just ask for-"

"Why can't you just miss a couple of concerts," I say the words before I can stop them from spilling from my lips.

"That's different!" his voice is louder than usual and I jump.

"How the bloody hell is it different?" he pulls into the apartment lot, "Because my job isn't as important as yours? It's important to me!"

"That's not what I meant!" he stops the engine and turns to look at me, he rubs his face with his large, beautiful hands.

I run my fingers through my hair, "That's exactly what you meant Harry. Have a nice trip to LA," I step out of the car as he calls my name.

"Piper! Fuck!" I hear his door slam as I enter the building.

We've been together for over a month, I was hoping this wouldn't happen for a while. I press the elevator button as he pulls my arm to turn me to look at him.

"I'm sorry for asking you to miss your job, I know how it would feel if you a asked for the same," his hands cup my face, his soft green eyes burn into mine and I can't help but pull his shirt to have him close.

"Don't go, to LA." My arms wrap around him, hoping the proximity will remind him of what he's leaving behind.

"I already promised to meet Dan there, they were coming with us to Palm Springs."

I barely even know his American friends, but I'm really mad and jealous of them right now. I can't keep him away from his friends, but is it too much to want to keep him longer with me? It is not just my best friend leaving, is the man I love giving me less time with him.

I sight in exasperation and pull away from him, walking through the still opened elevator doors.

"Pipes!" he's pleading now. Why does he always plead. As soon as he steps in, the doors close.

"I'm not going."

"I know baby." He slips his fingers into mine and pulls me towards him. His index finger comes under my chin and forces me to look at him. I don't want to look at the captivating green eyes, so I torture myself by looking at his pink full lips.

"Don't be upset with me, baby, please?" I can imagine his eyebrows furrowing in desperation.

"I'm not, I'm just... hurt," his hand let's go of my chin, and he pulls me by the waist into his chest as the elevator comes to a stop and the doors slide open.

I breathe into his neck for like three seconds and then pull away, walking out with him following suit. I can feel his gaze on me, waiting for a reaction, I feel the desperation in him to get one from me but I don't know what to say.

At first I thought I didn't want to go because I thought I was tired of it. Then because of my job, that part is still true. But now I realize it pains me that he doesn't just stay for a long period of time with me, always fleeing away, at different time zones from me. He is Henry, and I am Clare. He keeps traveling away from me, and nothing I do or say can stop him from doing so. The only way I can feel about it, the only way I can explain it is as pain, and hurt.

He closes the door behind him. I stand in the middle of the living room not knowing what to do, I wish he would leave to let me cry, but I know if he leaves I'll feel empty; I got too used to him being around now even though it was for a small bit.

"I love you." his voice is low and sad, it's so painful I have to turn around. He's inches from me, not close enough to feel his radiating warmth.

I step closer to him, "I love you more, much more Harry."

He closes the space between us, his large hands press on my lower back and pull me towards him, my hands immediately find their comforting place in his tousled hair, bringing his lips to mine. His tongue parts my lips and slips inside, massaging my own in the most delicious way possible. One of his hands comes up and holds my neck as he deepens his tongue into my mouth, it's so desperate and alarming but I don't worry about it, I let him take me wherever he wishes.

I tug at his shirt, indicating to allow me to sip it off his perfect body, once it's on the floor he does the same with mine. His green eyes look into mine, this longing is seen in them, so desperate, so beautiful. I should fear this look of his, because he thinks he's going to lose me.You're not baby. I pull him down to my lips again. He parts from me and stars leaving wet kisses along my neck. As he sucks on the skin under my ear and proceed to his tight ass jeans, unzipping and unbuttoning hastily.

As soon as his jeans are off, I help him with my tights. His arms grab me and hoist me up, my legs wrapping around him. I crash my lips into his as he walks us into my room. He drops me on my bed, I grab his hands and pull him towards me. Our lips connecting again. He rids me of my bra within seconds, and starts agonizingly massaging my left breast as his other hand runs along my body, his fingers digging into my hips earning a gasp from my open mouth.

His body presses as much as he can against mine, while still allowing him to torture my nipple. I remove my hands from his hair and hold his arms, digging my nails into him. A groan is vibrated in his throat and I moan. His hardness is pressed against my pelvis, my need for him inside me inevitable. His mouth parts from mine and I stiffle a complaint, and let his lips run down my neck, between my breast and ...oh jeez! He takes my right nipple in his lips, his teeth tugging at it painfully and deliciously. I throw my head back, onto the bed, as I moan in pleasure.

His left hand let's go of my hip and pulls down my panties, my body ignites in anticipation; I want him in me, I need him in me.

I don't like fighting with him, especially when he's about to leave me. Keep want this every day for as long as we can have this, I know that's impossible, but I won't deny myself from him after a fight.

His tongue licks my nipple and starts sucking, my fingers finding their place at his hair again. His hand runs up my leg and slips in between, his hand presses against my clit and his finger swiftly slips inside me, earning a moan from me and a tug at his hair. His circles and presses

"Harry.." I whisper, another finger slips inside and I moan once again, he groans against my breast.

His mouth let's go of my nipple, along with his other hand. My breast both pain deliciously as his hand comes up and holds my face as his lips press against mine. He kisses me softly but hungrily, as his tongue slips into my mouth, another finger slips into me, I gasp and he moans in unison. My hips pull up to meet his fingers as he starts slipping them in and out, in and out. My loins in agony at his touch.

"Oh, Harry.." I tug at his hair, I start kissing his jaw, his stubble tickling my lips playfully.

"Baby," he says against my ear. I feel myself tighten around him at the sound of his deep voice.

"Please," I beg, his fingers slip out of me and I push him aside and straddle him.

I pull myself above him to take off his briefs as he pulls himself up. I kiss his swallows as he rubs his hands on my back. I run my tongue along his butterfly tattoo, I slip my tongue into his belt button causing him to tug at my messy hair. I tug at his happy trail with my fingers as I kiss a long his hard length. My tongue flicks the head of his penis, I swallow and take him into my mouth, as much as I can.

"Fuck!" his hard voice tickling my insides. I grace my teeth along his length as my mouth moves up and down, slowly in a torturing manner.

"Pipes, please!" he agonized, only making my mouth moving faster, my lips reaching the head and taking him back in as much and as fast as I can. He tastes salty and marvelous against my tongue.

"Baby, stop," he tugs at my hair, "I need to be inside you." he says between grated teeth.
I slip him out of my mouth and crawl over to the nightstand, I grab the silver packet and rip it open with my teeth. I slip the condom as his eyes don't stop gazing at me. I press against him and kiss him passionately. His tounge is hungry and desperate. His large hands grab me by the hips and push me up. I lower myself on him, crying out in agony as he calls out my name.

He turns us around, me on the bottom once again, and I don't care. I want to please him and if he wants this then go ahead baby. His lips crash mine again as he pulls out and back in, slowly crashing his hips to mine, I gasp into our opened mouths. His slow actions torturing me but building me up.

"I need to feel you, baby." I know my love.

My fingers dig into his back, dragging up and reaching his hair and he slams into me faster. The friction becoming less tolerable by the second. His mouth leaves mine and starts sucking my neck. My lips press to his shoulder, leaving wet loving kisses, I'm panting and moaning along with him. Our heart beats against each other, beating at an intense rate.

"I love you," is all I need from him, as he slams once more making me explode around him like never before. He comes a second later, as my knees are numb and my body I weak.

"I love you, too." I manage to breath, his breath fanning over my neck, his whole body pressed against mine.

I run my fingers along his back, enjoying this beautiful moment while it lasts.

I'm the first to break the calming silence, "Don't go please?"

He sights, and dread his answer, "I have to, baby."

His head leaves my shoulder and his eyes look into mine for what seems the hundredth time today. His hand caresses my cheek and Iknowhe's about to say something I'm sure I don't want to hear.

"I'm leaving for tour from Los Angeles," my heart drops and his green sad eyes don't leave mine.

"This is you saying goodbye?" my voice chokes at the last word and he winced.

"No, no baby, no! This isn't goodbye," he says desperately, "you know this already, I'll never say goodbye."

I want to believe his words but I can't bring myself to. I don't know when I'll see him, in three weeks? A month? Longer?!

A tears run down my cheeks, "And you're still leaving, you don't rather stay here with me for the next couple days?" his hand keeps its movement to my cheek as he lays beside me, his body sideways.

His other hand massages my scalp, "I love you."

I don't look into his eyes, I stare at the swallows, "But you won't stay?" I cry.

"I love you."

"You can't just say that and expect me to be okay with it!" I hit his chest with my, unnoticed, fisted hands.

"I love you, Pipes" I try to find his eyes but my tears block my vision.

"I love you more" I cry and gasp, "I love you so much!" He pulls me into him and starts kissing my neck. I nuzzle into his neck and shoulder, pressing my lips on his skin as I sob.

"Stop baby, don't cry." His voice is low and pained.

I wrap my arms around him and pull him as close to me as I can; I want him as close as possible. I bring my lips to meet his, now my mouth being the desperation of the two. His fingers wipe my tears. He slips out of the used condom and starches out for another one, and our bodies bid 'till-later to each other until we no longer can of exhaustion.

He presses his lips to my forehead, his hand massaging my waist under the duvet. I know it's around 6 pm, and I dread the idea of asking him at what time his flight is.

"I have to pack, my heart." His voice is low and soothing, preparing me for his warm body departing from me. I run my nose along his jaw.

He's not even gone yet and I already miss him, a hole forming in my chest with longing and pain. I pull him closer to me.

"My flight is at 8:30." I can hear the apprehension in his quiet voice.

My body is exhausted from our marvelous activities. I close my eyes and sight. His lips press against my cheek, my nose and my lips. His tongue slides over my lower lip and I oblige to his request. He kisses me softly and beautifully. His large hands holding my face, as tears run down my cheeks he part away. And just like that, his warmth is gone. I don't want to see him walk out so I keep my eyes closed. I want the last image of him here with me, for the next who-knows-how-many weeks, to be warped around each other. I hear the front door open, and then close. I grasp the pillow he laid his head in and press it against my face, allowing myself to cry myself into a deep dreamless sleep.

Notes