Mistreated
Abandon
Friday March 7th Continued
Confusion, sadness, anger, horror, guilt, and shock. It felt like every possible emotion was fogging up my mind. My head felt like a heavy weight as it stuffed itself with more exhausting feelings. I couldn’t even bring myself to move, only staring at the scene before me.
The hood of Harry’s car is crushed so badly that it is split in half and almost inside of the car. From where I am, I could see that part of the windshield is no longer in its regular position. It is raised slightly, along with the smashed hood that held it there, and was cracked so much that it seemed it could shatter with any sudden movement. Harry hasn’t given me any signs of life, and it scares me. What if he’s gone? I don’t want to even see if he’s okay because what if he’s not? I feel glued to this spot.
Niall was the one who rushed to Harry’s car and called 911 while I stayed frozen in my position. Even when the police and ambulance showed up, I remained where I was. Part of me wanted to run over and make sure he was okay, but I knew that once I’d stand up, I’d break down. I’m so tired of crying.
Police tried asking me questions about what had happened, but I was speechless as well. I wouldn’t even shake my head or nod when they’d shoot for the ‘yes or no’ questions. They decided they’d contact me later and interrogate me then, so Niall was forced to give them my number after he answered a few questions himself.
Niall eventually scooped me off the ground and placed me in the passenger seat of his car. He went out of his way to go in my house, get me a jacket and my purse, and lock the door on the way out. He pulled my phone out of my purse and sent my mom a quick text saying, “Harry has been in an accident, so I'm going to the hospital.” After piling my stuff in my lap, he closed the door and got in on his side. Finally, we were on our way to the hospital.
Harry has to be okay. He just has to.
Once we got to the hospital, we had to sit in the waiting room as they examined Harry. Eventually, the rest of the guys and their girlfriends showed up to wait with us. Eleanor had called my parents from my phone since they knew her more than anyone else in the group. She let them know what hospital we were at, and that we’d update them on Harry’s condition as soon as we knew.
Still, I was completely silent. Everyone tried speaking to me or getting my attention, but I’d only stare down at my shoes. Perrie worriedly sat to one side of me with her arms tightly wrapped around one of mine. Niall has also stayed by my side this whole time, gently scratching my back to comfort me. I honestly was surprised Niall was even being so nice to me after what I did to him. I don’t deserve his loyalty and respect.
Niall said Harry was unconscious when he got to him, possibly from hitting his head against the steering wheel. When the group kept questioning him about Harry having further injuries, all Niall knew was that Harry had a few scratches. Other than that, Harry is seemingly fine. One can only hope.
Everyone has been trying to get ahold of Harry’s mom, but she’s not answering the phone. We concluded that she’s probably at work and hasn’t had the time to check her phone. After many more failed attempts of reaching her, Liam and Sophia decided to go to Harry’s house to tell Gemma since she'd want to know that her brother is in the hospital.
“Are you all here for Harry Styles?” a female voice asked. I finally looked up from my feet to look at the lady doctor that stood before us, noticing at the corner of my eyes that everyone was nodding to her. “Is anyone here related to him?”
When no one spoke up, Louis pointed to me and said, “She’s his girlfriend.” Not.
“He has no family here?” the doctor raised her brow. Fucking come on, Lady. Just tell us if he's okay or not already. We should be the one's asking questions, not her.
“We can’t get ahold of them,” Eleanor sighed.
“Can you just tell us how he is?” Perrie pouted and released her arms from me. “Please?”
The doctor exhaled deeply as she contemplated on telling us, eventually giving in with a small nod. She sat down in one of the empty chairs next to Louis, “Your friend is very lucky to come out of an accident like that with few injures. We ran a few tests and it appears he only has a minor concussion, nothing too serious. I gave him a prescription for Tylenol; Motrin and Advil will only make the concussion more agitated. Wrap some ice in a washcloth and place it on his head for his headache, and make sure he gets plenty of rest. A few glass chards pierced the skin on his wrist, so we had to remove the glass, stitch up the wounds, and wrapped up his wrist. He’ll need to come back in about a week to get the stitches removed. For now, he’ll need to keep some ice on it since it’s swollen, try not to move it around so much, and changing the wrap would be preferred. Also, his legs may be a little sore due to the impact, but we didn’t find any broken bones. The Tylenol should help with that as well. That’s about it. Does anyone have any questions?”
“Is he awake?” Niall asked. Well, back to staring at my feet. He’s fine, and that’s all I care about.
She nodded with a smile, “Yes, he has been for a while now.” After saying that, everyone went silent. When I looked up, I noticed all eyes were on me.
I rolled my eyes, “Can we see him?” Everyone was shocked I actually spoke, or maybe it was the snappy tone I used that surprised them. Yes, I get it: I had a sudden mood change. Once I heard he was okay, I went from feeling everything to just being pissed. I’m furious with Harry, and boy do I have every right to be.
“Yes, but I suggest only two at a time go to his room, so you don’t overwhelm him.” When she stood up, I mirrored her movements because I wanted to be the first to see him. I didn’t even notice who followed us, but I honestly didn’t care. They’ll just get to hear everything I have to say to Harry.
Each step to his room felt heavy, but maybe that’s because I was stomping my feet. The doctor probably shouldn’t even allow me to see Harry since I’m so full of rage. I noticed her giving me strange looks, obviously confused by my sudden burst of energy. She wasn’t concerned enough since she just shook it off. What an idiot.
“Here we are,” she finally came to a slow halt in front of a door. She opened the door and stepped into the room to hold it open for us. “Maybe you can get him to lay down,” she whispered. “He won’t cooperate.”
Sure enough, Harry is sitting at the edge of the bed with his feet dangling, staring blankly at the wall ahead of him. He didn’t even look over at us as we entered the room, remaining entirely emotionless. The site of him made the melancholy return to my mind, mixing itself with the annoyance I still have.
“Can we have a minute?” I croaked to the doctor.
“Of course,” she nodded and left the room, shutting the door behind her as she did. I still paid no mind to the person who followed me to Harry’s room, especially since they were remaining quiet.
I took a deep breath, attempting to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. Once I stepped towards the curly-haired boy, I failed to keep the tears in.
When I reached him, I placed one of my fists against his chest, still not receiving a reaction out of him. “You promised me,” my voice broke. “You promised me you’d never leave me.” His eyes continued to stare straight ahead.
“You promised me!” I scolded him, throwing my fist against his chest. “How dare you do that to me! Right in fucking front of me! You tried to abandon me!” With every sentence, I punched his chest twice, but he stayed motionless.
“I need you!” I cried, throwing a harder punch into his chest. Two big hands grabbed my wrists and held my arms behind my back to prevent me from hurting Harry anymore. They tried pulling me back, but I planted my feet to the ground. “I LOVE YOU!” I screamed at the green eyed boy. “I FUCKING LOVE YOU, YOU BASTARD!” Nothing. No response.
I pried my right wrist away from whoever was holding me. Then, I took my hand and slapped it across Harry’s cheek. Finally, his eyes widened, his mouth was agape, and he brought his hand to his stinging cheek. He looked up at me, and his dismay only grew.
“Miss, you can’t hit him!” the doctor came rushing back in. “It’ll only irritate his head.”
“Do you think he cares?!” I snapped at her, pointing the boy in front of me. It’s true. He doesn’t care. Why do you think he’s not laying down like the doctors told him to? He wanted to die tonight. He purposely drove himself into that pull, and he’s disappointed that he didn’t finish the job. He was willing to make me feel guilty for the rest of my life, thinking it’s my fault he killed himself. He was willing to leave this world without thinking about how much that’d affect his friends, family, and me. He doesn’t care because he doesn’t want to be here anymore. He’s giving up.
“Stop pushing me away!” I yelled at Harry, but it came out more as a sob. “Everyone else may be scared of you, but I’m not,” I stated with quivering lips. I never was, and I never will be.
I watched as his eyes glanced between me and the person who was holding my left wrist. I turned to face them, and it only made me tear up more. Niall. Why did he have to follow me? It only makes me feel guiltier towards both of them. Now I understand why he was so quiet the whole time. He wanted to hear what I had to say to Harry. Judging by his hurt expression, this was his confirmation that I used him tonight.
I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath as I wiped the tears away from my face with my free hand. Niall finally dropped my other wrist, and boy, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I ran as fast as my small feet could go, full on crying as I dodged everything that stood in my way: IVs, kids, vending machines, patients, beds, nurses, and doctors. I ran for what felt like miles until I reached the group that was still sitting around the waiting room.
Zayn was the first one to notice me running over and stood up, so I naturally ran straight to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I buried my head in his chest and sobbed even harder when he returned the hug. He kept shushing me softly as he stroked my hair to comfort me.
“What’s wrong, Iris?” Perrie asked with a bit of a whine in her tone as she rubbed my back. I just shook my head against Zayn’s chest, not wanting to talk about it. I don’t want to talk about it or think about it anymore. I’m so tired of all the tears and all of the ups and downs.
Zayn scooped me off the floor and decided to take me home. Perrie grabbed my stuff before we headed to Zayn’s car to leave. Perrie climbed in the back seat before Zayn laid me across the back seats, so my head was resting in Perrie’s lap.
As the car finally moved, I found myself staring at Perrie’s dress. She was still wearing the dress from the talent show, the one with the stars. Stars. Harry could’ve been one of those tonight. It hurts me so badly that he didn’t care what anyone thought. I love him so much, but I can’t handle the roller coaster ride anymore. I’m so exhausted from it all. I don’t deserve everything he put me through tonight. The last thing I expected was for him to be another person to put me down. The thing is, I know he didn’t mean it. It just stings. I can’t take that anymore, especially not now.
If he wants me, he’ll show me. If he loves me, he’ll tell me. Right now, he just needs help, and that’s something I can’t give him. It sucks that I’m not able to be there for him, but this is what he needs. It’s what I need. Space. It’ll be good for us.
Friday April 4th (Four Weeks Later)
Harry’s POV:
“How are you doing today Harold?” Mindy asks from the chair across from me. It’s funny how in every movie or show, when someone goes to therapy they have to lay on a couch. Not me. I’m sitting in the same type of chair as Mindy with my right ankle resting on my opposite knee.
That day in the hospital, the doctor overheard Iris screaming at me and figured out I was trying to commit suicide. Of course, her reaction was to recommend therapy which Gemma and Mum agreed I needed. I was hesitant at first, but I realized it’s really my only option.
Not only did that happen, but both Niall and Iris told the police that I purposefully rammed myself into that light pole. I got grounded for two weeks and I had to promise to pay my mum back for the car that she had just bought. This meant I had to get a job. Now, I work at the grocery store called Albertson’s. It’s a fucking hard ass job since I have to do everything: collect carts, bag groceries, restock shelves, mop floors, and work as a cashier. I hate the job, but it’s earning me money, so I can’t really complain.
“Good,” I smiled.
“I’m glad,” she nodded and looked down at her notes. “How’s your family doing?”
I shrugged, “Same, I guess.”
“Have you made an effort to speak with Robin yet?” Her question made me cringe. I still don’t trust that fucker.
“Can we talk about something else?” I rolled my eyes.
She leaned forward in her seat, causing the leather chair to squeak, “Harold, you came here because you wanted to get better. How can you get better when you won’t even open up to me, or anyone else for that matter?”
I sighed, “I know, it’s just…” I paused to clear my throat. “He’s going to hurt her.”
“Why do you say that?” she furrowed her brows and jotted something down in her notes.
I removed my ankle from my knee and sat forward in my seat, dangling my tangled hands in front of my knees. “He’ll play Mr. Nice Guy at first, but it’ll only be a matter of time before he becomes abusive too. Then, she’ll never leave him.”
“Do you think that maybe he’s not who you’re scared of?” I just stared at her questioningly. “I think you’re more scared of your mother not protecting herself. You’ve spent so much time trying to keep her safe from your father that you feel obligated to continue looking after her. I think you’re scared that she’s going to make a poor decision and leave you to deal with it again.”
I nodded, not really knowing what to say. She pretty much hit everything spot on. I’m scared that Robin guy will turn out to be like my father, but I’m more scared that my mother won’t do anything about it again. It’s possible that she hasn’t learned her lesson. It’s fucking bullshit that it took her hearing that my sister was molested by that sicko for her to finally wake up; not when her son was getting the shit beat out of him right in front of her.
“You have to realize, Harry, that it’s not your job to protect her,” Mindy shook her head. “She’s a grown woman, and she’s fairly capable of taking care of herself.”
“Yeah, since she was doing such a fantastic job at it before,” I mumbled under my breath, and I’m glad to find she hadn't heard me.
“If she believes Robin is a great guy, then it’s possible that he is,” she continued.
“Can we just not talk about this anymore?” I asked while staring at my lap.
I looked back up at her to find her scribbling more notes onto that damn notepad. What do they even write on those things? “Crazy?” “Needs help?” “Liar?” “Stupid?” “Uncooperative?” Or maybe they write everything we say: like a script.
“Since you’ve talked about Robin more than you have in the past three weeks, I’ll allow the change of subject,” she smiled up at me. She looked back down at her notes and tapped her pen against the pad as she searched for something. “Ah,” she said once she finally found what she was looking for and grinned at me. “How’s Iris doing? Have you spoken to her lately?”
I ran a hand through my curls and gently shook my head, “I haven’t spoken to her since that day.”
“And why’s that?”
“She’s been doing well,” I avoided her question, answering her original one instead. I began bouncing my legs, becoming nervous just thinking about Mercy. “She got her driver’s license. I guess before the accident, she had already gotten her permit and wanted to practice more before doing the driver’s test. Her parents got her a car because she passed the test with one try. Also, she got a job at some clothing store in the mall called Forever 21. I guess she just works in the back, restocking things for them or something like that. I found this all out from Perrie, so I might not even have my facts right.”
"So, why haven't you spoken to her?" This lady won't quit. There's seriously no use in ignoring her questions.
I chuckled a little and tilted my head towards the ceiling, “She’s been avoiding me, and I haven’t even tried to talk to her. At lunch, she doesn’t even hang out with our friends anymore. She hangs out with her’s: Kyle, Liz, Dakota, and Riley. I felt bad for my group at first, but I guess she hangs out with them outside of school whenever I’m not invited.“
“Is that okay with you?” Mindy crossed her legs.
“More than okay,” I smiled honestly. “She’s happy. She has this glow about her that I haven’t seen since the last time we…” I paused and let out a large sigh, fisting both hands in my curls. “Since the last time we stopped talking. ‘Space’ is what she called it, and I’m pretty sure that’s what this is: space.”
“Do you think you guys need space?”
I nod and placed my hands back in my lap, “All those things I did after Gem left, I was so scared to do again, so I thought I was doing what was best for us when I broke up with Iris. Turns out, not only was I hurting her in the process, but I was breaking my own heart. That night, I crashed into the pole because I thought I lost her forever when she stopped chasing my car. I just felt like she gave up on me, and I guess that’s when I gave up on myself. I let us both down.” I guess I really didn't answer her question, but I seem to do that a lot.
I smiled lightly, “But as always, God won’t let me die. He gave me one job, and that’s to be here for Iris. So that’s what I plan to do.”
Confusion, sadness, anger, horror, guilt, and shock. It felt like every possible emotion was fogging up my mind. My head felt like a heavy weight as it stuffed itself with more exhausting feelings. I couldn’t even bring myself to move, only staring at the scene before me.
The hood of Harry’s car is crushed so badly that it is split in half and almost inside of the car. From where I am, I could see that part of the windshield is no longer in its regular position. It is raised slightly, along with the smashed hood that held it there, and was cracked so much that it seemed it could shatter with any sudden movement. Harry hasn’t given me any signs of life, and it scares me. What if he’s gone? I don’t want to even see if he’s okay because what if he’s not? I feel glued to this spot.
Niall was the one who rushed to Harry’s car and called 911 while I stayed frozen in my position. Even when the police and ambulance showed up, I remained where I was. Part of me wanted to run over and make sure he was okay, but I knew that once I’d stand up, I’d break down. I’m so tired of crying.
Police tried asking me questions about what had happened, but I was speechless as well. I wouldn’t even shake my head or nod when they’d shoot for the ‘yes or no’ questions. They decided they’d contact me later and interrogate me then, so Niall was forced to give them my number after he answered a few questions himself.
Niall eventually scooped me off the ground and placed me in the passenger seat of his car. He went out of his way to go in my house, get me a jacket and my purse, and lock the door on the way out. He pulled my phone out of my purse and sent my mom a quick text saying, “Harry has been in an accident, so I'm going to the hospital.” After piling my stuff in my lap, he closed the door and got in on his side. Finally, we were on our way to the hospital.
Harry has to be okay. He just has to.
Once we got to the hospital, we had to sit in the waiting room as they examined Harry. Eventually, the rest of the guys and their girlfriends showed up to wait with us. Eleanor had called my parents from my phone since they knew her more than anyone else in the group. She let them know what hospital we were at, and that we’d update them on Harry’s condition as soon as we knew.
Still, I was completely silent. Everyone tried speaking to me or getting my attention, but I’d only stare down at my shoes. Perrie worriedly sat to one side of me with her arms tightly wrapped around one of mine. Niall has also stayed by my side this whole time, gently scratching my back to comfort me. I honestly was surprised Niall was even being so nice to me after what I did to him. I don’t deserve his loyalty and respect.
Niall said Harry was unconscious when he got to him, possibly from hitting his head against the steering wheel. When the group kept questioning him about Harry having further injuries, all Niall knew was that Harry had a few scratches. Other than that, Harry is seemingly fine. One can only hope.
Everyone has been trying to get ahold of Harry’s mom, but she’s not answering the phone. We concluded that she’s probably at work and hasn’t had the time to check her phone. After many more failed attempts of reaching her, Liam and Sophia decided to go to Harry’s house to tell Gemma since she'd want to know that her brother is in the hospital.
“Are you all here for Harry Styles?” a female voice asked. I finally looked up from my feet to look at the lady doctor that stood before us, noticing at the corner of my eyes that everyone was nodding to her. “Is anyone here related to him?”
When no one spoke up, Louis pointed to me and said, “She’s his girlfriend.” Not.
“He has no family here?” the doctor raised her brow. Fucking come on, Lady. Just tell us if he's okay or not already. We should be the one's asking questions, not her.
“We can’t get ahold of them,” Eleanor sighed.
“Can you just tell us how he is?” Perrie pouted and released her arms from me. “Please?”
The doctor exhaled deeply as she contemplated on telling us, eventually giving in with a small nod. She sat down in one of the empty chairs next to Louis, “Your friend is very lucky to come out of an accident like that with few injures. We ran a few tests and it appears he only has a minor concussion, nothing too serious. I gave him a prescription for Tylenol; Motrin and Advil will only make the concussion more agitated. Wrap some ice in a washcloth and place it on his head for his headache, and make sure he gets plenty of rest. A few glass chards pierced the skin on his wrist, so we had to remove the glass, stitch up the wounds, and wrapped up his wrist. He’ll need to come back in about a week to get the stitches removed. For now, he’ll need to keep some ice on it since it’s swollen, try not to move it around so much, and changing the wrap would be preferred. Also, his legs may be a little sore due to the impact, but we didn’t find any broken bones. The Tylenol should help with that as well. That’s about it. Does anyone have any questions?”
“Is he awake?” Niall asked. Well, back to staring at my feet. He’s fine, and that’s all I care about.
She nodded with a smile, “Yes, he has been for a while now.” After saying that, everyone went silent. When I looked up, I noticed all eyes were on me.
I rolled my eyes, “Can we see him?” Everyone was shocked I actually spoke, or maybe it was the snappy tone I used that surprised them. Yes, I get it: I had a sudden mood change. Once I heard he was okay, I went from feeling everything to just being pissed. I’m furious with Harry, and boy do I have every right to be.
“Yes, but I suggest only two at a time go to his room, so you don’t overwhelm him.” When she stood up, I mirrored her movements because I wanted to be the first to see him. I didn’t even notice who followed us, but I honestly didn’t care. They’ll just get to hear everything I have to say to Harry.
Each step to his room felt heavy, but maybe that’s because I was stomping my feet. The doctor probably shouldn’t even allow me to see Harry since I’m so full of rage. I noticed her giving me strange looks, obviously confused by my sudden burst of energy. She wasn’t concerned enough since she just shook it off. What an idiot.
“Here we are,” she finally came to a slow halt in front of a door. She opened the door and stepped into the room to hold it open for us. “Maybe you can get him to lay down,” she whispered. “He won’t cooperate.”
Sure enough, Harry is sitting at the edge of the bed with his feet dangling, staring blankly at the wall ahead of him. He didn’t even look over at us as we entered the room, remaining entirely emotionless. The site of him made the melancholy return to my mind, mixing itself with the annoyance I still have.
“Can we have a minute?” I croaked to the doctor.
“Of course,” she nodded and left the room, shutting the door behind her as she did. I still paid no mind to the person who followed me to Harry’s room, especially since they were remaining quiet.
I took a deep breath, attempting to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. Once I stepped towards the curly-haired boy, I failed to keep the tears in.
When I reached him, I placed one of my fists against his chest, still not receiving a reaction out of him. “You promised me,” my voice broke. “You promised me you’d never leave me.” His eyes continued to stare straight ahead.
“You promised me!” I scolded him, throwing my fist against his chest. “How dare you do that to me! Right in fucking front of me! You tried to abandon me!” With every sentence, I punched his chest twice, but he stayed motionless.
“I need you!” I cried, throwing a harder punch into his chest. Two big hands grabbed my wrists and held my arms behind my back to prevent me from hurting Harry anymore. They tried pulling me back, but I planted my feet to the ground. “I LOVE YOU!” I screamed at the green eyed boy. “I FUCKING LOVE YOU, YOU BASTARD!” Nothing. No response.
I pried my right wrist away from whoever was holding me. Then, I took my hand and slapped it across Harry’s cheek. Finally, his eyes widened, his mouth was agape, and he brought his hand to his stinging cheek. He looked up at me, and his dismay only grew.
“Miss, you can’t hit him!” the doctor came rushing back in. “It’ll only irritate his head.”
“Do you think he cares?!” I snapped at her, pointing the boy in front of me. It’s true. He doesn’t care. Why do you think he’s not laying down like the doctors told him to? He wanted to die tonight. He purposely drove himself into that pull, and he’s disappointed that he didn’t finish the job. He was willing to make me feel guilty for the rest of my life, thinking it’s my fault he killed himself. He was willing to leave this world without thinking about how much that’d affect his friends, family, and me. He doesn’t care because he doesn’t want to be here anymore. He’s giving up.
“Stop pushing me away!” I yelled at Harry, but it came out more as a sob. “Everyone else may be scared of you, but I’m not,” I stated with quivering lips. I never was, and I never will be.
I watched as his eyes glanced between me and the person who was holding my left wrist. I turned to face them, and it only made me tear up more. Niall. Why did he have to follow me? It only makes me feel guiltier towards both of them. Now I understand why he was so quiet the whole time. He wanted to hear what I had to say to Harry. Judging by his hurt expression, this was his confirmation that I used him tonight.
I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath as I wiped the tears away from my face with my free hand. Niall finally dropped my other wrist, and boy, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I ran as fast as my small feet could go, full on crying as I dodged everything that stood in my way: IVs, kids, vending machines, patients, beds, nurses, and doctors. I ran for what felt like miles until I reached the group that was still sitting around the waiting room.
Zayn was the first one to notice me running over and stood up, so I naturally ran straight to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I buried my head in his chest and sobbed even harder when he returned the hug. He kept shushing me softly as he stroked my hair to comfort me.
“What’s wrong, Iris?” Perrie asked with a bit of a whine in her tone as she rubbed my back. I just shook my head against Zayn’s chest, not wanting to talk about it. I don’t want to talk about it or think about it anymore. I’m so tired of all the tears and all of the ups and downs.
Zayn scooped me off the floor and decided to take me home. Perrie grabbed my stuff before we headed to Zayn’s car to leave. Perrie climbed in the back seat before Zayn laid me across the back seats, so my head was resting in Perrie’s lap.
As the car finally moved, I found myself staring at Perrie’s dress. She was still wearing the dress from the talent show, the one with the stars. Stars. Harry could’ve been one of those tonight. It hurts me so badly that he didn’t care what anyone thought. I love him so much, but I can’t handle the roller coaster ride anymore. I’m so exhausted from it all. I don’t deserve everything he put me through tonight. The last thing I expected was for him to be another person to put me down. The thing is, I know he didn’t mean it. It just stings. I can’t take that anymore, especially not now.
If he wants me, he’ll show me. If he loves me, he’ll tell me. Right now, he just needs help, and that’s something I can’t give him. It sucks that I’m not able to be there for him, but this is what he needs. It’s what I need. Space. It’ll be good for us.
Friday April 4th (Four Weeks Later)
Harry’s POV:
“How are you doing today Harold?” Mindy asks from the chair across from me. It’s funny how in every movie or show, when someone goes to therapy they have to lay on a couch. Not me. I’m sitting in the same type of chair as Mindy with my right ankle resting on my opposite knee.
That day in the hospital, the doctor overheard Iris screaming at me and figured out I was trying to commit suicide. Of course, her reaction was to recommend therapy which Gemma and Mum agreed I needed. I was hesitant at first, but I realized it’s really my only option.
Not only did that happen, but both Niall and Iris told the police that I purposefully rammed myself into that light pole. I got grounded for two weeks and I had to promise to pay my mum back for the car that she had just bought. This meant I had to get a job. Now, I work at the grocery store called Albertson’s. It’s a fucking hard ass job since I have to do everything: collect carts, bag groceries, restock shelves, mop floors, and work as a cashier. I hate the job, but it’s earning me money, so I can’t really complain.
“Good,” I smiled.
“I’m glad,” she nodded and looked down at her notes. “How’s your family doing?”
I shrugged, “Same, I guess.”
“Have you made an effort to speak with Robin yet?” Her question made me cringe. I still don’t trust that fucker.
“Can we talk about something else?” I rolled my eyes.
She leaned forward in her seat, causing the leather chair to squeak, “Harold, you came here because you wanted to get better. How can you get better when you won’t even open up to me, or anyone else for that matter?”
I sighed, “I know, it’s just…” I paused to clear my throat. “He’s going to hurt her.”
“Why do you say that?” she furrowed her brows and jotted something down in her notes.
I removed my ankle from my knee and sat forward in my seat, dangling my tangled hands in front of my knees. “He’ll play Mr. Nice Guy at first, but it’ll only be a matter of time before he becomes abusive too. Then, she’ll never leave him.”
“Do you think that maybe he’s not who you’re scared of?” I just stared at her questioningly. “I think you’re more scared of your mother not protecting herself. You’ve spent so much time trying to keep her safe from your father that you feel obligated to continue looking after her. I think you’re scared that she’s going to make a poor decision and leave you to deal with it again.”
I nodded, not really knowing what to say. She pretty much hit everything spot on. I’m scared that Robin guy will turn out to be like my father, but I’m more scared that my mother won’t do anything about it again. It’s possible that she hasn’t learned her lesson. It’s fucking bullshit that it took her hearing that my sister was molested by that sicko for her to finally wake up; not when her son was getting the shit beat out of him right in front of her.
“You have to realize, Harry, that it’s not your job to protect her,” Mindy shook her head. “She’s a grown woman, and she’s fairly capable of taking care of herself.”
“Yeah, since she was doing such a fantastic job at it before,” I mumbled under my breath, and I’m glad to find she hadn't heard me.
“If she believes Robin is a great guy, then it’s possible that he is,” she continued.
“Can we just not talk about this anymore?” I asked while staring at my lap.
I looked back up at her to find her scribbling more notes onto that damn notepad. What do they even write on those things? “Crazy?” “Needs help?” “Liar?” “Stupid?” “Uncooperative?” Or maybe they write everything we say: like a script.
“Since you’ve talked about Robin more than you have in the past three weeks, I’ll allow the change of subject,” she smiled up at me. She looked back down at her notes and tapped her pen against the pad as she searched for something. “Ah,” she said once she finally found what she was looking for and grinned at me. “How’s Iris doing? Have you spoken to her lately?”
I ran a hand through my curls and gently shook my head, “I haven’t spoken to her since that day.”
“And why’s that?”
“She’s been doing well,” I avoided her question, answering her original one instead. I began bouncing my legs, becoming nervous just thinking about Mercy. “She got her driver’s license. I guess before the accident, she had already gotten her permit and wanted to practice more before doing the driver’s test. Her parents got her a car because she passed the test with one try. Also, she got a job at some clothing store in the mall called Forever 21. I guess she just works in the back, restocking things for them or something like that. I found this all out from Perrie, so I might not even have my facts right.”
"So, why haven't you spoken to her?" This lady won't quit. There's seriously no use in ignoring her questions.
I chuckled a little and tilted my head towards the ceiling, “She’s been avoiding me, and I haven’t even tried to talk to her. At lunch, she doesn’t even hang out with our friends anymore. She hangs out with her’s: Kyle, Liz, Dakota, and Riley. I felt bad for my group at first, but I guess she hangs out with them outside of school whenever I’m not invited.“
“Is that okay with you?” Mindy crossed her legs.
“More than okay,” I smiled honestly. “She’s happy. She has this glow about her that I haven’t seen since the last time we…” I paused and let out a large sigh, fisting both hands in my curls. “Since the last time we stopped talking. ‘Space’ is what she called it, and I’m pretty sure that’s what this is: space.”
“Do you think you guys need space?”
I nod and placed my hands back in my lap, “All those things I did after Gem left, I was so scared to do again, so I thought I was doing what was best for us when I broke up with Iris. Turns out, not only was I hurting her in the process, but I was breaking my own heart. That night, I crashed into the pole because I thought I lost her forever when she stopped chasing my car. I just felt like she gave up on me, and I guess that’s when I gave up on myself. I let us both down.” I guess I really didn't answer her question, but I seem to do that a lot.
I smiled lightly, “But as always, God won’t let me die. He gave me one job, and that’s to be here for Iris. So that’s what I plan to do.”
Notes
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11/18/17