Mistreated
Regret
Wednesday April 9th
Harry’s POV:
“Let’s talk about your friend Niall,” Mindy suggests after I refused to speak of Robin again. This lady has a thing for choosing topics I’m not fucking comfortable with. I guess that’s her job, but I can’t help but feel irritated by it. “You mentioned him in our first couple of sessions, and you made it quite clear that you were furious at him. Why is that?” The dumb thing is that I already told her what he did, so I have no idea why she's asking this again.
“He’s a prick,” I mumbled, finding myself playing with the peeling leather on the arm of my chair.
“Why do you think that about him?” Seriously, these questions are annoying.
I rolled my eyes, “Because he is.”
“Harold…”
“Mindy,” I fought back, dragging her name out.
“Did something happen today?” she furrowed her brows.
Her question caught me off guard, but I quickly regained my ground. “No.”
Her expression didn’t change, almost as if she was waiting for me to tell her anyways. The truth is, at school today, I spotted Niall and Iris walking into the cafeteria together. I’m hurt and angry that she’s already moving on from me, and it doesn’t exactly help that she chose Niall to move on with.
I sighed, deciding to answer her earlier question, “They kissed. He stole her from me.”
“I assume you mean Iris,” she raised her brow at me. I nodded to confirm what she said. “From my understanding, you were already broken up when that happened, correct?" I nodded again. "Then why do you feel like he stole her from you?” she asked while adjusting her skirt and crossing her legs.
“He wanted her this whole time, and he knew I would hurt her,” my body tensed up just thinking about it. “I knew I would hurt her,” I looked at my lap sadly.
“What makes you say that?” I groaned as I ran my hand threw my curls. I really wish she’d stop with these fucking questions. “Harold-“
“Because of my past, okay?” I snapped, waving my hands in frustration. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I rubbed my sweaty hands against my bouncing legs. “Sorry.” It’s clear that I mostly came here to work on my anger. I have this strong fear that I’ll turn out to be just like my father. One thing will push me over the edge, and eventually I’ll be an angry pathetic bastard like him.
Mindy made a ‘tsk’ noise with her tongue and shot me a sympathetic look, “Harold, you are nothing like you’re father." Is she a fucking mind reader, or am I just that obvious? "You are your own person, and only you can decide how you handle certain situations. You’re better than him, and one example is the fact that you’re sitting here with me, getting the help you need. That says something about you.”
“Really?” I couldn’t stop the smile that was creeping on my face even if I tried.
She nodded, “Of course. You are a wonderful young man. You just need to realize that your past doesn’t define who you are.” She readjusted herself in her seat so that she was leaning forward with her elbows resting on her legs. “Think of surviving the car crash as a second chance. Be the person you want to be, not who you think you’ll be.”
Bring! The timer that sat on the end table next to her went off, indicating that the session is over.
“Well, I guess it’s time,” she smiled lightly. “Can I ask you one more thing before you go?”
“Sure,” I shrug.
“Why are you so angry with yourself?” I shrunk down in my seat, not expecting a question like that.
I bit my lip nervously, “I uh…” I exhaled deeply before continuing. “Because I never sensed a problem between my father and Gem, and I couldn’t stop my father from being the monster he is. Also because I let myself get out of control and wound up stealing a dog, smashing a kid’s skateboard, slashing people’s tires, vandalizing cars, and running over someone. I know I couldn’t have known about Gem, and I did try to stop my father from being…” I didn’t finish what I was going to say, running my hands down my face instead. “I’m mostly angry that I couldn’t handle it anymore.”
“It’s not something you should have to deal with alone,” her lips formed into a lopsided smile. “I’ve had cases that have done worse in situations like your’s. The way you handled it was normal. It wasn’t right, but it was normal. You shouldn’t beat yourself up about it so much.”
“How can I not though?” I shook my head. “Everything I did was awful, and everyone in my neighborhood hates me now.”
“Maybe it’s time you did something to fix that,” she proposed. She’s right, and I think I know exactly what I’m going to do.
Saturday April 12th
I went door to door after school on Thursday and asked my neighbors what I could do to make up to them for what I did. I even went to neighbors that I didn’t do anything to, knowing they all found out about what I did; I just wanted to smooth things over with everyone. Many of them just slammed the door in my face, but I deserved that, so I let it go. Others gave me a list of chores to do for them, and I happily accepted them.
Yesterday, I started with Mr. Brady whose car I only egged. All he asked me to do was mow his lawn for him, and since I lived next door, I just used my own lawn mower. Of course, I had to choose the hottest day on the planet to do outdoor chores. I wound up taking my shirt off and tucking it into my back pocket as I mowed his lawn. A few girls were checking me out as I did the yard work, but I wasn’t interested in interacting with them. There’s only one person I want: Iris.
Next, I went to Miss Odom’s house and washed her Ford Fusion with her supervision of course. She was actually really sweet and brought out lemonade and cookies for me as I scrubbed her car. She wound up apologizing to me for the one day she watched me get kicked in the gut by my father. She felt bad that she never did anything about it, but I reassured her that I was fine now.
After I finished up with her car, I wound up staying at her house for a bit, conversing with her. Miss Odom apparently used to be married, but her husband wound up leaving her for another woman because she’s a workaholic. I felt bad for her, but she said she doesn’t really mind anymore. She says working at the hospital is her passion, and she’s just glad she’s not married to a bloke who doesn’t understand that.
After Miss Odom, I walked three houses down to Mr. Wallace who said he needed me to do yard work as well. I had to pull weeds in his garden and chop up wood for his fireplace.
Once I was finished with that, I had enough time for one more house. I went to Mr. and Mrs. Vasquez’s place and helped Mr. Vasquez build a crib for their first baby. He needed an extra set of hands, and there was no way he was letting his pregnant wife help him. Mrs. Vasquez wound up having me stay for dinner with them since she was cooking while I was there. Dinner with them was nice. We talked about family and if I ever wanted to have kids someday. I want kids more than anything, I adore them very much. The Vasquez’s said that once their baby was born, they’d love it if I babysat for them.
Going to bed last night, I slept with a smile on my face. I’m really turning things around, and I’m happy my neighbors are so forgiving. Well, most of them anyways. Granted, Miss Odom and Mr. Brady only got their cars egged, it could’ve been worse. Mr. Wallace and the Vasquez family, I didn’t touch any of their property, but it was nice to help them out. I’ve always been one for helping.
This morning, I only had a few stops to make considering most of my neighbors shut me down. I made a quick errand first to buy a couple of things I’d need for the neighbors.
My next stop was Chase’s house: the boy whose skateboard I broke. His mum was very adamant about what she wanted from me, one thing involving her son. I was surprised she even allowed me to try to mend things. She and Chase were the last people in the neighborhood that I expected to give me a chance.
I pulled up at their house and put my car in park before turning it off. I took out one of the silver sharpies I bought and slid it into my pocket after I ripped the tag off of the other thing I bought. I noticed Chase was already out front dribbling a basketball and occasionally throwing it into the hoop that was hammered onto their house. I watched him for a couple of minutes before exhaling deeply and exiting my car.
“Hey Chase,” I smiled at the boy.
When he turned towards me, his look of confusion changed to a look of horror, “Go away.”
I frowned, “I know you don’t like me, and I understand why. What I did was wrong, and I’m really sorry about that.”
“I’m not supposed to talk to you,” he said as his eyes looked everywhere but at me.
I nodded, “Okay. Then I won’t give you the gift I bought you.” I felt myself smirking when I saw the curiosity written all over his face.
“What is it?” he asked, trying to peer at what I was holding behind my back.
“Well, I can’t give it to you now since you’re not allowed to speak with me,” I teased.
He peered at his front door before looking back at me and stepping closer to me. “I won’t tell if you won’t,” he whispered.
I chuckled and whispered back, “Deal,” before handing him the pennyboard that I was holding behind my back a second ago. His mum had me buy it for him, but I honestly already planned on getting him a skateboard. It’s a black pennyboard with four different colored wheels: blue, pink, yellow, and black. I’ve seen tons of boys Chase’s age with colors like this on their board, so I knew it wasn’t out of style.
He stared wide eyed at it with an agape smile plastered to his face, telling me he loves it. “Your mum told me you weren’t into skateboards anymore and that you were dying to get one of these,” I smiled, pointing to the board that was in his hands.
“This is so cool!” he shouted. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” I shrugged. “I owed you one. Oh, one more thing.” I pulled the silver sharpie out of my pocket and held out a hand for him to give me the board back. He was hesitant about it, but my smile reassured him I wouldn’t destroy this one too. I opened the sharpie and neatly signed my name on the bottom of the board before handing it back to him.
He scrunched his brows as he observed the mark I left on the pennyboard, “Why’d you do that?”
I tapped the board, “Believe me kid, one of these days, that signature will be worth more than your house. You better hold onto it.” He still seemed confused, but he nodded anyways. “Why don’t you try it out? I’m gonna go chat with your mum.”
Chase’s mum had a lot more chores for me. She had me paint her front door, trim her hedges, skim her pool, pick lemons out of her lemon tree that she couldn’t reach, and do her dishes. Other people may have found everything she had me do ridiculous, but I didn’t mind it. I slashed her car tires and broke her kid’s board, the least I can do is help her with her regular chores and more.
When I left their house, I still had one more stop to make. I thought about helping out that kid Darrell whose car I trashed the most, but I decided on not doing that. It may not have been a smart move vandalizing his car, but I don’t regret it one bit. Hell, I’d do it again. He deserves every bit of it for bullying the freshmen at our school. So yeah, I’m definitely not apologizing to his arse.
The last stop I wound up making was at Principal Gibson’s house. I needed to apologize whether he likes it or not. I walked up to his door and knocked loudly on it, hoping he’s home since I’d rather not have to come another time. I slid my hands into my jean pockets and anxiously waited for him to answer his door. It feels like forever before he finally swings the door open.
“Ah, Mr. Styles,” he leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“I came to apologize,” I scratched the back of my neck.
“Well go ahead,” he gestured me to continue.
"Wait, you..." I held my chest as I tried to contain my laughter. “You think I want to apologize to you?” He furrowed his brows and unraveled his arms. “I’m here to see Rodger.”
“Who’s Rodger?”
“Sorry.” I cleared my throat before I spoke again, “I’m here to see Bambi.” Poor fucking dog.
On cue, Rodger came running over at the sound of his name. “Hey little guy,” I squatted to the ground as he stepped outside to greet me. He wagged his tail vigorously when I scratched his back. “I got you an apology gift.”
I pulled a bag of dog treats out of my back pocket that I bought earlier and pulled one out for him to munch on. “I’m sorry you were in the car with me during that accident, Buddy. That had to have been traumatizing,” I spoke to him in a slow and high-pitched voice as he chewed the treat I gave him. “It’s probably traumatizing enough living with that horrible man.”
“Here,” I smirked at Principal Gibson who seemed less than happy with me and handed him the bag of dog treats. “Bye Rodger,” I stroked the dog's back one more time before walking off. I can’t believe that sick fuck thought I was going to apologize to him. What do I have to be sorry for? I stole his dog, big deal. He got him back. Just as Gemma told me, I could’ve done worse.
I didn’t have to come here, but I found myself drawn to this place. I just wanted to see him. I have to see him. I rung his doorbell and waited for him with a smile on my face. It’s been so long since I’ve visited him.
“Harry?” he smiled widely after opening the door.
“Hey Trip,” I returned the smile.
“Wow, it’s been a while,” he stated as he pulled me into a hug: a manly hug, of course. “How are you, Man?” he asked after pulling away.
I shrugged, “Better. My mum kicked my father out of the house, and now I’m doing therapy.”
“It seems we have a lot of catching up to do. Come in,” he waved me into his house, and I gladly accepted the invitation.
I spent hours with Trip catching up on everything. I told him about Gemma coming back, my father hospitalizing me, the divorce my parents had, how my family and I are moving, and how I met the most amazing girl in the world: Iris. Trip says my face lights up when her name slides of my tongue. He told me she’s the kind of girl I should never lose sight of, and I couldn’t agree with him more. I love her too much to never have her in my life again, even if she has feelings for Niall now. At least we could try to be friends.
“So enough about me,” I shake my head. My expression became more serious as I looked down at his leg that was covered by his pants. “How’s your leg working?”
“It’s brilliant,” he imitated the British accent, making me laugh. “Seriously though, I don’t mind it. I can still do all the thing same things I used to do, including running.” Trip had to amputate his leg because of me, and he now has a prosthetic leg. I didn’t realize his injury was so bad, but then again, I was drunk as fuck. I feel awful.
“Stop that,” he waved his hand in my face.
“What?” I tried playing innocent.
He shot me the ‘I’m not an idiot’ look. “I know you feel horrible about what you did, and I know you’re sorry, so stop sulking about it.”
“It’s kind of hard not to when I gave you that,” I pointed to his leg with a frown. “Trip, I don’t think I could ever apologize enough for this. I’m so sorry.”
He stood up from his loveseat and sat down on the couch next to me, resting his arm on the back of the couch, behind me. “Harry, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you it’s okay. I mean it, it’s okay. Yeah, I lost a leg, but it’s better than losing a life. I’m not gonna spend the rest of my life holding a grudge against you because of this. I’d rather just live and be happy I’m still here.”
I didn’t say anything, just looking down sadly at my lap. I could learn a huge lesson from this guy. Trip has always seemed like the happiest guy in the world. I could never understand it: he has no family, no girlfriend or wife, hardly any friends, and spends most of his time going out for runs or working. How could he be happy with a life like that? He’s just happy to be alive, I guess. He's also the nicest guy you'll ever meet. I don't think I've ever seen him mad at anybody since he's always being friendly towards others. I admire him, really.
“Do you know why I forgave you so easily?” he asked with a sigh. I shook my head no. “So many people would’ve probably just drove away, or taken one look at me and ran. You didn’t do that. You pulled me out from under your car and helped me. I could see how torn up you were about hurting me, and I’m pretty sure everyone in the neighborhood could hear how sorry you were,” he chuckled, referring to when I screamed apologies at him. I snickered and shook my head.
“I was in a situation like your’s when I was your age,” he continued, and I raised my brows at him. “Are you really surprised? How do you think I knew the judge that you had in court?”
“I guess I never really thought about it,” I admitted.
He chuckled softly, “Well, you were a little preoccupied. Anyways, I almost did the same exact thing as you. The only difference was that I was with a friend and he was the one who was drunk driving. We hit someone, and like you, we ran out to check them out. It was a young woman. She started screaming from the pain and it freaked us both out. I was so scared, and I really wanted to help her. My friend thought that was foolish, and wound up leaving me with her. I wish I could say I did what you did and stayed to help her, but I found myself running away too.”
“Really?” I was shocked. Trip? The nicest guy in the world? He left someone injured like that?
He nodded, “I regret not helping her out. The fact that you even helped me, that spoke volumes, Kid. You did good. So from now on, you should believe me when I say, ‘It’s okay,’ because it really is.”
I grinned, “Thanks Trip, I really needed to hear that.”
“No problem,” he patted my leg.
“Can I ask you something though?” He nodded. “How the hell did you make friends with a judge?”
He laughed, “Well,for one, he was my judge, and then, while I was in jail, he was apparently sleeping with my mother.”
I cringed in disgust, “Oh, gross.”
“Yup,” he said popping the ‘p’. “Imagine how awkward that was for me.”
“I’d rather not,” I shuddered, making him laugh again.
“It was great to see you again, Harry,” he gripped my shoulder and lightly shook me. “I’m glad you came.”
“Me too.”
When I got home, I was completely exhausted from the long day I had. I decided to have a quick snack before heading off to bed. As I walked into my kitchen, I noticed my mum and Robin sitting on the couch watching telly. Now’s my chance to mend things with Robin, I guess.
“Hello Robin,” I half smiled as I walked into the living room. I’ll get my snack after this since this is something I have to do.
“Hey Harry,” he smiled, but I could tell he was confused that I was actually speaking to him. I noticed my mum had fallen asleep on his shoulder which made me much happier. I don’t need her jumping on me and saying gushy things right now.
“You make her happy,” I pointed to my sleeping mother. “I haven’t seen her so happy since before Gem left. No, that’s a lie. She was happy years before that.”
His smile seemed to have brighten at my words, “She deserves all of the happiness in the world.”
“She does,” I agreed. “That’s why I’ll give you a chance.” He opened his mouth to say something, but I interjected him, “But, I make no promises on liking or trusting you. It’s just something you’re going to have to deal with.”
He nodded, “Of course. I don’t expect anything of you because you’ve been through so much. All of you,” he looked down at my mum before looking back towards me. “Thank you, Harry, for giving me a chance.”
I shrugged, “Your welcome, I guess. If you hurt her-“
“I won’t,” he interrupted me. “I would never hurt her.”
“Good,” I smiled. “Goodnight Robin.”
“Goodnight Harry.”
And with that, I grabbed a pear from the kitchen and went to bed. I kicked off my shoes and stripped myself down to my boxers before climbing under my blankets. I laid in bed, eating my pear, thinking about all the progress I have made. It's nice to be doing something right for a change. I feel jubilant. I'm on the path to forgiving myself, and I think it's about time I start doing that. Forgiving myself...I never saw that coming.
Monday April 14th
“Niall! Niall wait up!” I shouted after him in the school hallway. It was now lunchtime, and I have been searching for him all day. He wasn’t with the group in the morning and he’s even late to go to the cafeteria. Where the fuck has he been?
He turned around and froze in his position when he saw me. “Uh, hey,” his greeting sounded more like a question.
“Hey,” I breathed. “We should talk.” He hesitantly nodded and gestured us to sit against the lockers. “I’m suck a fuck up Niall.”
“Don’t say that,” he shook his head.
I groaned and buried my face in my hands, “I am though.” I removed my hands from my face. “I shouldn’t have been suck a dick towards you. You hadn’t tried to make a move on her, and I was still being some jealous prick. You didn’t do anything that even allowed me not to trust you. I’m really sorry, Niall, for the way I treated you and for punching you. I shouldn’t have said all those nasty things to you either. You didn’t do anything.”
Niall had come clean with me and admitted his feelings for her, and for some reason I just snapped. I punched his face with all my force and I said many things I shouldn’t have: I called him a shitty friend and a worthless prick, along with yelling many curse words and cruel accusations at him. I regret every bit of it, and I didn’t mean any word of it. When I told Mindy about this fight, she said I was just trying to let my anger out on someone, and he was there admitting he liked Iris, so I used him.
“I didn’t kiss her back, you know?” he fiddled with his fingers in his lap.
I sighed, lightly nodding my head, “I know. I kept telling myself you did because it would be easier to hate you than to be furious at her, but you didn’t. I saw it. I watched her pull you down and kiss her.”
He propped one of his legs up and rested an arm on it, “She used me to get over you, and she hasn’t spoken to me since.”
“Wait, what?” She hasn’t spoken to him? I saw them together on Friday.
“I’ve been trying to talk to her, but she keeps telling me to leave her alone,” he clarified. Now that he mentions it, she did look a little uneasy when they were speaking. It seems both of us had actually used him. We’re fucking great friends. “I’m stupid to even think she’d stay friends with me after I told her.”
“What? No you’re not, Nialler,” I placed my arm around his shoulders. “It’s my fault. I’m the one who kept telling her to stay away from you. I didn’t think she’d do it, especially after the break up.”
“So you really meant it? Your apology?” he looked at me quizzically.
I breathed out through my nose and nodded, “Yeah, I do. I’ll promise you now that I’ll never let a girl come between us again.”
“Thanks, Mate,” he smiled and pulled me in for a bro hug. When he pulled away, I noticed a smirk on his face. “So, there’s a party at Liam’s on Saturday, are you in?”
I laughed and shook my head, “You need your best wingman?”
“Fuck yeah,” he says like I asked a stupid question.
“Alright, I’m in,” I patted his back. It’s good to be friends with him again. I’ve missed him more than I thought.
I can’t help but feel giddy that Niall and Iris haven’t spoken though. Not because they haven’t spoken, but because they aren’t together like I had assumed. I really have to work on investigating further before jumping to conclusions. Iris is still single from what I know, so maybe I still stand a chance with her. Regardless of whether I do or not, I’m still going to try.
“Hey,” I said to Iris once she closed her locker. I assume she hadn’t noticed my presence since she jumped and clutched her chest when she saw me.
“Fucking Christ, Harry!” she growled and slapped my arm. The way she reacted, it felt like we never broke up, or even stopped talking. I missed this.
“Sorry,” I chuckled. “Can I talk to you?”
Her gaze quickly changed towards the ground, “There’s nothing to talk about.” And she has a sudden change of mood. I shouldn’t really be surprised though.
“I want to fix things with us,” I sighed. “It hurts me that I hurt you.”
“There’s nothing to fix, Harry. You wanted me out of your life, and you got your wish,” she looked back up at me with no emotion. Ouch.
I frowned and felt my shoulders drop, “I wish I could take it all back. I wish I never walked out on you in the first place. I’m an idiot for thinking what I was doing was right. I never even let you have a say.”
“You never even told me the real reason you were dumping me in the first place,” she added.
“I know,” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I’m so sorry, Mercy. I’m sorry about everything.”
“Yeah, well, an apology isn’t gonna cut it this time,” she shifted her weight to her right leg. “You tried to kill yourself, right in front of me. Do you know how that makes me feel?” I felt my shoulders drop more as I looked down at my shoes. “What would’ve happened if you really died? I would’ve thought it was all my fault. I would’ve spent every waking day blaming myself for your death. And you would've been gone. I don't know if I'd be able to handle your death.”
“I know that it’s not going to be easy to earn your trust back,” I said, returning my gaze back to her sad blue-green eyes. “But I can promise you that I won’t give up. I owe you the world and I intend to give you everything. Nothing is holding me back anymore. And please don’t let me be the reason you ignore Niall. He misses you and I had no right to come between you two. I’m sorry. I am really really sorry.”
Before I turned and walked away, I noticed an expression on her face that meant I left her completely baffled. This is only the beginning.
Harry’s POV:
“Let’s talk about your friend Niall,” Mindy suggests after I refused to speak of Robin again. This lady has a thing for choosing topics I’m not fucking comfortable with. I guess that’s her job, but I can’t help but feel irritated by it. “You mentioned him in our first couple of sessions, and you made it quite clear that you were furious at him. Why is that?” The dumb thing is that I already told her what he did, so I have no idea why she's asking this again.
“He’s a prick,” I mumbled, finding myself playing with the peeling leather on the arm of my chair.
“Why do you think that about him?” Seriously, these questions are annoying.
I rolled my eyes, “Because he is.”
“Harold…”
“Mindy,” I fought back, dragging her name out.
“Did something happen today?” she furrowed her brows.
Her question caught me off guard, but I quickly regained my ground. “No.”
Her expression didn’t change, almost as if she was waiting for me to tell her anyways. The truth is, at school today, I spotted Niall and Iris walking into the cafeteria together. I’m hurt and angry that she’s already moving on from me, and it doesn’t exactly help that she chose Niall to move on with.
I sighed, deciding to answer her earlier question, “They kissed. He stole her from me.”
“I assume you mean Iris,” she raised her brow at me. I nodded to confirm what she said. “From my understanding, you were already broken up when that happened, correct?" I nodded again. "Then why do you feel like he stole her from you?” she asked while adjusting her skirt and crossing her legs.
“He wanted her this whole time, and he knew I would hurt her,” my body tensed up just thinking about it. “I knew I would hurt her,” I looked at my lap sadly.
“What makes you say that?” I groaned as I ran my hand threw my curls. I really wish she’d stop with these fucking questions. “Harold-“
“Because of my past, okay?” I snapped, waving my hands in frustration. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I rubbed my sweaty hands against my bouncing legs. “Sorry.” It’s clear that I mostly came here to work on my anger. I have this strong fear that I’ll turn out to be just like my father. One thing will push me over the edge, and eventually I’ll be an angry pathetic bastard like him.
Mindy made a ‘tsk’ noise with her tongue and shot me a sympathetic look, “Harold, you are nothing like you’re father." Is she a fucking mind reader, or am I just that obvious? "You are your own person, and only you can decide how you handle certain situations. You’re better than him, and one example is the fact that you’re sitting here with me, getting the help you need. That says something about you.”
“Really?” I couldn’t stop the smile that was creeping on my face even if I tried.
She nodded, “Of course. You are a wonderful young man. You just need to realize that your past doesn’t define who you are.” She readjusted herself in her seat so that she was leaning forward with her elbows resting on her legs. “Think of surviving the car crash as a second chance. Be the person you want to be, not who you think you’ll be.”
Bring! The timer that sat on the end table next to her went off, indicating that the session is over.
“Well, I guess it’s time,” she smiled lightly. “Can I ask you one more thing before you go?”
“Sure,” I shrug.
“Why are you so angry with yourself?” I shrunk down in my seat, not expecting a question like that.
I bit my lip nervously, “I uh…” I exhaled deeply before continuing. “Because I never sensed a problem between my father and Gem, and I couldn’t stop my father from being the monster he is. Also because I let myself get out of control and wound up stealing a dog, smashing a kid’s skateboard, slashing people’s tires, vandalizing cars, and running over someone. I know I couldn’t have known about Gem, and I did try to stop my father from being…” I didn’t finish what I was going to say, running my hands down my face instead. “I’m mostly angry that I couldn’t handle it anymore.”
“It’s not something you should have to deal with alone,” her lips formed into a lopsided smile. “I’ve had cases that have done worse in situations like your’s. The way you handled it was normal. It wasn’t right, but it was normal. You shouldn’t beat yourself up about it so much.”
“How can I not though?” I shook my head. “Everything I did was awful, and everyone in my neighborhood hates me now.”
“Maybe it’s time you did something to fix that,” she proposed. She’s right, and I think I know exactly what I’m going to do.
Saturday April 12th
I went door to door after school on Thursday and asked my neighbors what I could do to make up to them for what I did. I even went to neighbors that I didn’t do anything to, knowing they all found out about what I did; I just wanted to smooth things over with everyone. Many of them just slammed the door in my face, but I deserved that, so I let it go. Others gave me a list of chores to do for them, and I happily accepted them.
Yesterday, I started with Mr. Brady whose car I only egged. All he asked me to do was mow his lawn for him, and since I lived next door, I just used my own lawn mower. Of course, I had to choose the hottest day on the planet to do outdoor chores. I wound up taking my shirt off and tucking it into my back pocket as I mowed his lawn. A few girls were checking me out as I did the yard work, but I wasn’t interested in interacting with them. There’s only one person I want: Iris.
Next, I went to Miss Odom’s house and washed her Ford Fusion with her supervision of course. She was actually really sweet and brought out lemonade and cookies for me as I scrubbed her car. She wound up apologizing to me for the one day she watched me get kicked in the gut by my father. She felt bad that she never did anything about it, but I reassured her that I was fine now.
After I finished up with her car, I wound up staying at her house for a bit, conversing with her. Miss Odom apparently used to be married, but her husband wound up leaving her for another woman because she’s a workaholic. I felt bad for her, but she said she doesn’t really mind anymore. She says working at the hospital is her passion, and she’s just glad she’s not married to a bloke who doesn’t understand that.
After Miss Odom, I walked three houses down to Mr. Wallace who said he needed me to do yard work as well. I had to pull weeds in his garden and chop up wood for his fireplace.
Once I was finished with that, I had enough time for one more house. I went to Mr. and Mrs. Vasquez’s place and helped Mr. Vasquez build a crib for their first baby. He needed an extra set of hands, and there was no way he was letting his pregnant wife help him. Mrs. Vasquez wound up having me stay for dinner with them since she was cooking while I was there. Dinner with them was nice. We talked about family and if I ever wanted to have kids someday. I want kids more than anything, I adore them very much. The Vasquez’s said that once their baby was born, they’d love it if I babysat for them.
Going to bed last night, I slept with a smile on my face. I’m really turning things around, and I’m happy my neighbors are so forgiving. Well, most of them anyways. Granted, Miss Odom and Mr. Brady only got their cars egged, it could’ve been worse. Mr. Wallace and the Vasquez family, I didn’t touch any of their property, but it was nice to help them out. I’ve always been one for helping.
This morning, I only had a few stops to make considering most of my neighbors shut me down. I made a quick errand first to buy a couple of things I’d need for the neighbors.
My next stop was Chase’s house: the boy whose skateboard I broke. His mum was very adamant about what she wanted from me, one thing involving her son. I was surprised she even allowed me to try to mend things. She and Chase were the last people in the neighborhood that I expected to give me a chance.
I pulled up at their house and put my car in park before turning it off. I took out one of the silver sharpies I bought and slid it into my pocket after I ripped the tag off of the other thing I bought. I noticed Chase was already out front dribbling a basketball and occasionally throwing it into the hoop that was hammered onto their house. I watched him for a couple of minutes before exhaling deeply and exiting my car.
“Hey Chase,” I smiled at the boy.
When he turned towards me, his look of confusion changed to a look of horror, “Go away.”
I frowned, “I know you don’t like me, and I understand why. What I did was wrong, and I’m really sorry about that.”
“I’m not supposed to talk to you,” he said as his eyes looked everywhere but at me.
I nodded, “Okay. Then I won’t give you the gift I bought you.” I felt myself smirking when I saw the curiosity written all over his face.
“What is it?” he asked, trying to peer at what I was holding behind my back.
“Well, I can’t give it to you now since you’re not allowed to speak with me,” I teased.
He peered at his front door before looking back at me and stepping closer to me. “I won’t tell if you won’t,” he whispered.
I chuckled and whispered back, “Deal,” before handing him the pennyboard that I was holding behind my back a second ago. His mum had me buy it for him, but I honestly already planned on getting him a skateboard. It’s a black pennyboard with four different colored wheels: blue, pink, yellow, and black. I’ve seen tons of boys Chase’s age with colors like this on their board, so I knew it wasn’t out of style.
He stared wide eyed at it with an agape smile plastered to his face, telling me he loves it. “Your mum told me you weren’t into skateboards anymore and that you were dying to get one of these,” I smiled, pointing to the board that was in his hands.
“This is so cool!” he shouted. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” I shrugged. “I owed you one. Oh, one more thing.” I pulled the silver sharpie out of my pocket and held out a hand for him to give me the board back. He was hesitant about it, but my smile reassured him I wouldn’t destroy this one too. I opened the sharpie and neatly signed my name on the bottom of the board before handing it back to him.
He scrunched his brows as he observed the mark I left on the pennyboard, “Why’d you do that?”
I tapped the board, “Believe me kid, one of these days, that signature will be worth more than your house. You better hold onto it.” He still seemed confused, but he nodded anyways. “Why don’t you try it out? I’m gonna go chat with your mum.”
Chase’s mum had a lot more chores for me. She had me paint her front door, trim her hedges, skim her pool, pick lemons out of her lemon tree that she couldn’t reach, and do her dishes. Other people may have found everything she had me do ridiculous, but I didn’t mind it. I slashed her car tires and broke her kid’s board, the least I can do is help her with her regular chores and more.
When I left their house, I still had one more stop to make. I thought about helping out that kid Darrell whose car I trashed the most, but I decided on not doing that. It may not have been a smart move vandalizing his car, but I don’t regret it one bit. Hell, I’d do it again. He deserves every bit of it for bullying the freshmen at our school. So yeah, I’m definitely not apologizing to his arse.
The last stop I wound up making was at Principal Gibson’s house. I needed to apologize whether he likes it or not. I walked up to his door and knocked loudly on it, hoping he’s home since I’d rather not have to come another time. I slid my hands into my jean pockets and anxiously waited for him to answer his door. It feels like forever before he finally swings the door open.
“Ah, Mr. Styles,” he leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”
“I came to apologize,” I scratched the back of my neck.
“Well go ahead,” he gestured me to continue.
"Wait, you..." I held my chest as I tried to contain my laughter. “You think I want to apologize to you?” He furrowed his brows and unraveled his arms. “I’m here to see Rodger.”
“Who’s Rodger?”
“Sorry.” I cleared my throat before I spoke again, “I’m here to see Bambi.” Poor fucking dog.
On cue, Rodger came running over at the sound of his name. “Hey little guy,” I squatted to the ground as he stepped outside to greet me. He wagged his tail vigorously when I scratched his back. “I got you an apology gift.”
I pulled a bag of dog treats out of my back pocket that I bought earlier and pulled one out for him to munch on. “I’m sorry you were in the car with me during that accident, Buddy. That had to have been traumatizing,” I spoke to him in a slow and high-pitched voice as he chewed the treat I gave him. “It’s probably traumatizing enough living with that horrible man.”
“Here,” I smirked at Principal Gibson who seemed less than happy with me and handed him the bag of dog treats. “Bye Rodger,” I stroked the dog's back one more time before walking off. I can’t believe that sick fuck thought I was going to apologize to him. What do I have to be sorry for? I stole his dog, big deal. He got him back. Just as Gemma told me, I could’ve done worse.
I didn’t have to come here, but I found myself drawn to this place. I just wanted to see him. I have to see him. I rung his doorbell and waited for him with a smile on my face. It’s been so long since I’ve visited him.
“Harry?” he smiled widely after opening the door.
“Hey Trip,” I returned the smile.
“Wow, it’s been a while,” he stated as he pulled me into a hug: a manly hug, of course. “How are you, Man?” he asked after pulling away.
I shrugged, “Better. My mum kicked my father out of the house, and now I’m doing therapy.”
“It seems we have a lot of catching up to do. Come in,” he waved me into his house, and I gladly accepted the invitation.
I spent hours with Trip catching up on everything. I told him about Gemma coming back, my father hospitalizing me, the divorce my parents had, how my family and I are moving, and how I met the most amazing girl in the world: Iris. Trip says my face lights up when her name slides of my tongue. He told me she’s the kind of girl I should never lose sight of, and I couldn’t agree with him more. I love her too much to never have her in my life again, even if she has feelings for Niall now. At least we could try to be friends.
“So enough about me,” I shake my head. My expression became more serious as I looked down at his leg that was covered by his pants. “How’s your leg working?”
“It’s brilliant,” he imitated the British accent, making me laugh. “Seriously though, I don’t mind it. I can still do all the thing same things I used to do, including running.” Trip had to amputate his leg because of me, and he now has a prosthetic leg. I didn’t realize his injury was so bad, but then again, I was drunk as fuck. I feel awful.
“Stop that,” he waved his hand in my face.
“What?” I tried playing innocent.
He shot me the ‘I’m not an idiot’ look. “I know you feel horrible about what you did, and I know you’re sorry, so stop sulking about it.”
“It’s kind of hard not to when I gave you that,” I pointed to his leg with a frown. “Trip, I don’t think I could ever apologize enough for this. I’m so sorry.”
He stood up from his loveseat and sat down on the couch next to me, resting his arm on the back of the couch, behind me. “Harry, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you it’s okay. I mean it, it’s okay. Yeah, I lost a leg, but it’s better than losing a life. I’m not gonna spend the rest of my life holding a grudge against you because of this. I’d rather just live and be happy I’m still here.”
I didn’t say anything, just looking down sadly at my lap. I could learn a huge lesson from this guy. Trip has always seemed like the happiest guy in the world. I could never understand it: he has no family, no girlfriend or wife, hardly any friends, and spends most of his time going out for runs or working. How could he be happy with a life like that? He’s just happy to be alive, I guess. He's also the nicest guy you'll ever meet. I don't think I've ever seen him mad at anybody since he's always being friendly towards others. I admire him, really.
“Do you know why I forgave you so easily?” he asked with a sigh. I shook my head no. “So many people would’ve probably just drove away, or taken one look at me and ran. You didn’t do that. You pulled me out from under your car and helped me. I could see how torn up you were about hurting me, and I’m pretty sure everyone in the neighborhood could hear how sorry you were,” he chuckled, referring to when I screamed apologies at him. I snickered and shook my head.
“I was in a situation like your’s when I was your age,” he continued, and I raised my brows at him. “Are you really surprised? How do you think I knew the judge that you had in court?”
“I guess I never really thought about it,” I admitted.
He chuckled softly, “Well, you were a little preoccupied. Anyways, I almost did the same exact thing as you. The only difference was that I was with a friend and he was the one who was drunk driving. We hit someone, and like you, we ran out to check them out. It was a young woman. She started screaming from the pain and it freaked us both out. I was so scared, and I really wanted to help her. My friend thought that was foolish, and wound up leaving me with her. I wish I could say I did what you did and stayed to help her, but I found myself running away too.”
“Really?” I was shocked. Trip? The nicest guy in the world? He left someone injured like that?
He nodded, “I regret not helping her out. The fact that you even helped me, that spoke volumes, Kid. You did good. So from now on, you should believe me when I say, ‘It’s okay,’ because it really is.”
I grinned, “Thanks Trip, I really needed to hear that.”
“No problem,” he patted my leg.
“Can I ask you something though?” He nodded. “How the hell did you make friends with a judge?”
He laughed, “Well,for one, he was my judge, and then, while I was in jail, he was apparently sleeping with my mother.”
I cringed in disgust, “Oh, gross.”
“Yup,” he said popping the ‘p’. “Imagine how awkward that was for me.”
“I’d rather not,” I shuddered, making him laugh again.
“It was great to see you again, Harry,” he gripped my shoulder and lightly shook me. “I’m glad you came.”
“Me too.”
When I got home, I was completely exhausted from the long day I had. I decided to have a quick snack before heading off to bed. As I walked into my kitchen, I noticed my mum and Robin sitting on the couch watching telly. Now’s my chance to mend things with Robin, I guess.
“Hello Robin,” I half smiled as I walked into the living room. I’ll get my snack after this since this is something I have to do.
“Hey Harry,” he smiled, but I could tell he was confused that I was actually speaking to him. I noticed my mum had fallen asleep on his shoulder which made me much happier. I don’t need her jumping on me and saying gushy things right now.
“You make her happy,” I pointed to my sleeping mother. “I haven’t seen her so happy since before Gem left. No, that’s a lie. She was happy years before that.”
His smile seemed to have brighten at my words, “She deserves all of the happiness in the world.”
“She does,” I agreed. “That’s why I’ll give you a chance.” He opened his mouth to say something, but I interjected him, “But, I make no promises on liking or trusting you. It’s just something you’re going to have to deal with.”
He nodded, “Of course. I don’t expect anything of you because you’ve been through so much. All of you,” he looked down at my mum before looking back towards me. “Thank you, Harry, for giving me a chance.”
I shrugged, “Your welcome, I guess. If you hurt her-“
“I won’t,” he interrupted me. “I would never hurt her.”
“Good,” I smiled. “Goodnight Robin.”
“Goodnight Harry.”
And with that, I grabbed a pear from the kitchen and went to bed. I kicked off my shoes and stripped myself down to my boxers before climbing under my blankets. I laid in bed, eating my pear, thinking about all the progress I have made. It's nice to be doing something right for a change. I feel jubilant. I'm on the path to forgiving myself, and I think it's about time I start doing that. Forgiving myself...I never saw that coming.
Monday April 14th
“Niall! Niall wait up!” I shouted after him in the school hallway. It was now lunchtime, and I have been searching for him all day. He wasn’t with the group in the morning and he’s even late to go to the cafeteria. Where the fuck has he been?
He turned around and froze in his position when he saw me. “Uh, hey,” his greeting sounded more like a question.
“Hey,” I breathed. “We should talk.” He hesitantly nodded and gestured us to sit against the lockers. “I’m suck a fuck up Niall.”
“Don’t say that,” he shook his head.
I groaned and buried my face in my hands, “I am though.” I removed my hands from my face. “I shouldn’t have been suck a dick towards you. You hadn’t tried to make a move on her, and I was still being some jealous prick. You didn’t do anything that even allowed me not to trust you. I’m really sorry, Niall, for the way I treated you and for punching you. I shouldn’t have said all those nasty things to you either. You didn’t do anything.”
Niall had come clean with me and admitted his feelings for her, and for some reason I just snapped. I punched his face with all my force and I said many things I shouldn’t have: I called him a shitty friend and a worthless prick, along with yelling many curse words and cruel accusations at him. I regret every bit of it, and I didn’t mean any word of it. When I told Mindy about this fight, she said I was just trying to let my anger out on someone, and he was there admitting he liked Iris, so I used him.
“I didn’t kiss her back, you know?” he fiddled with his fingers in his lap.
I sighed, lightly nodding my head, “I know. I kept telling myself you did because it would be easier to hate you than to be furious at her, but you didn’t. I saw it. I watched her pull you down and kiss her.”
He propped one of his legs up and rested an arm on it, “She used me to get over you, and she hasn’t spoken to me since.”
“Wait, what?” She hasn’t spoken to him? I saw them together on Friday.
“I’ve been trying to talk to her, but she keeps telling me to leave her alone,” he clarified. Now that he mentions it, she did look a little uneasy when they were speaking. It seems both of us had actually used him. We’re fucking great friends. “I’m stupid to even think she’d stay friends with me after I told her.”
“What? No you’re not, Nialler,” I placed my arm around his shoulders. “It’s my fault. I’m the one who kept telling her to stay away from you. I didn’t think she’d do it, especially after the break up.”
“So you really meant it? Your apology?” he looked at me quizzically.
I breathed out through my nose and nodded, “Yeah, I do. I’ll promise you now that I’ll never let a girl come between us again.”
“Thanks, Mate,” he smiled and pulled me in for a bro hug. When he pulled away, I noticed a smirk on his face. “So, there’s a party at Liam’s on Saturday, are you in?”
I laughed and shook my head, “You need your best wingman?”
“Fuck yeah,” he says like I asked a stupid question.
“Alright, I’m in,” I patted his back. It’s good to be friends with him again. I’ve missed him more than I thought.
I can’t help but feel giddy that Niall and Iris haven’t spoken though. Not because they haven’t spoken, but because they aren’t together like I had assumed. I really have to work on investigating further before jumping to conclusions. Iris is still single from what I know, so maybe I still stand a chance with her. Regardless of whether I do or not, I’m still going to try.
“Hey,” I said to Iris once she closed her locker. I assume she hadn’t noticed my presence since she jumped and clutched her chest when she saw me.
“Fucking Christ, Harry!” she growled and slapped my arm. The way she reacted, it felt like we never broke up, or even stopped talking. I missed this.
“Sorry,” I chuckled. “Can I talk to you?”
Her gaze quickly changed towards the ground, “There’s nothing to talk about.” And she has a sudden change of mood. I shouldn’t really be surprised though.
“I want to fix things with us,” I sighed. “It hurts me that I hurt you.”
“There’s nothing to fix, Harry. You wanted me out of your life, and you got your wish,” she looked back up at me with no emotion. Ouch.
I frowned and felt my shoulders drop, “I wish I could take it all back. I wish I never walked out on you in the first place. I’m an idiot for thinking what I was doing was right. I never even let you have a say.”
“You never even told me the real reason you were dumping me in the first place,” she added.
“I know,” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I’m so sorry, Mercy. I’m sorry about everything.”
“Yeah, well, an apology isn’t gonna cut it this time,” she shifted her weight to her right leg. “You tried to kill yourself, right in front of me. Do you know how that makes me feel?” I felt my shoulders drop more as I looked down at my shoes. “What would’ve happened if you really died? I would’ve thought it was all my fault. I would’ve spent every waking day blaming myself for your death. And you would've been gone. I don't know if I'd be able to handle your death.”
“I know that it’s not going to be easy to earn your trust back,” I said, returning my gaze back to her sad blue-green eyes. “But I can promise you that I won’t give up. I owe you the world and I intend to give you everything. Nothing is holding me back anymore. And please don’t let me be the reason you ignore Niall. He misses you and I had no right to come between you two. I’m sorry. I am really really sorry.”
Before I turned and walked away, I noticed an expression on her face that meant I left her completely baffled. This is only the beginning.
Notes
I'M ON THE POPULAR PAGE!!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!! THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!!! IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!!!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY ON THERE!!!! <3
Thank you guys so much for your incredible support. There's about seven chapters left to the story, and I can't wait to write them all for you. I love you guys<3
Also, I made a twitter account as some of you requested: @FanficMinion
Follow me on there and I'll let you know when there's and update and answer any of your questions.
READ THIS IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A SAY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER:
Also, on Twitter, I'll be asking you guys what you'll want to see in the next few chapters. For example, the next chapter involves Prom, so I'd ask you guys what you'd like to happen at their Prom.
Vote and subscribe if you haven't already, it'd mean the world to me. Also, be sure to leave me a comment. Love you guys tons. I've said that a lot already, but it's true so I don't care. <3
I love this story so much!!!
11/18/17