Breathe
Absence
Harrys P.O.V
The anticipation was killing me; we all sit at the couch waiting for me to dial Nina’s number. I take a deep breath.
“ Just be honest with her, everything will work out” Liam gives me kind words of advice but how could he know everything will be all right? Tom cheated on her, she was ruined, and she trusted me and I broke that trust when Amy and I kissed. It was only a kiss but it felt so wrong it made it seem like more was done. We went though this with Taylor Nina forgave me. I run my hands through my hair before dialing her number.
Ring… Ring… Ring…
“ I don’t think she’s going to answer,” I mumble
Nina’s P.O.V
A sudden vibration makes the other occupants on the train stare at me impassively. I take out my phone.
…It’s Harry. Do I answer it, If I don’t he’ll just keep calling. I swallow down the lump of tears and bat my eyes three times.
“ Hello” I speak, tone flat and dull.
“ Hi, how are you?” I decide to keep the fact I know about the kiss under wraps.
“ Fine, you?”
“ I have to tell you something”
“ Go on”
“ When I was at the club” He pauses and I hear him take a deep breath, emotions take over me.
“ You kissed that girl, yeah I know Harry, the photo and articles are plastered all over New York” My tone is cold, clipped.
“ Shit… I was hoping you hadn’t seen those yet,” He whispers and I hear him sigh
“ Apparently you two had quite the wild night” I refer back to the article in Ok magazine where the woman was saying her and Harry slept together.
“ What are you talking about?” He sounds genuinely confused. I scoff a laugh.
“ Don’t play dumb with me. I know what happened, I saw the photos”
“ It was just a ki-“ I cut him off as tears threaten to fall
“ I thought you were different, well actually I knew you used girls and went through them like tee shirts but I was stupid enough to let you in and make me think differently” My defense shield is up, I swallow back the rest of the vile remarks I want to throw at him.
“ That’s what you think?” He snaps
“ I know what I saw, everyone’s saying you’re a cheater now, I don’t know what to believe. This call verifies everything I read” My voice cracks and I clear my throat to hid it.
“ Nina, I don’t know what you read, the make up a bunch of stuff from one incident. She kissed me,” He pleads; I can tell he’s nervous.
“ That’s bullshit Harry, even if she kissed you, there has to be a reason she felt like kissing you was an option” I say quietly every word of realization breaking me.
“ Nina please…”
“ I need some space,” I say matching his low pitch
“ What?! No why?” He panics and my heart aches
“ I just need time to think, that’s all”
“ Babe please don’t push me away” He whispers frantically each syllable puncturing me.
“ Just tell me what I need to do Nina” I hear his voice break. And silent tears make their way down my face
“ I just need space Harry, I’m sorry”
“ I love you, I always will, and it will always be you” He breathes softly. The train arrives at my stop.
“ I have to go, goodbye Harry”
“ Nina, I love you” I shut my eyes tight and hang up the phone.
Niall’s P.O.V
“ No, no you have to get this one” I point to my favorite flavor on the ice cream board. Tia rolls her eyes jokingly at me, and smiles big.
“ Fine Horan I’ll get that one,” I laugh at her use of my last name.
I order the two chocolate chip banana icecreams and sit next to Tia at the bar table by the window.
“ So, what do you like to do in your spare time?” She takes a small mouth full of icecream and stifles a giggle at my attempt to make small talk.
“ I like to draw” She replies shyly “ Nina and I always draw together, I guess our love for Arts and writing is a reason we’re so close”
“ You should draw me sometime” I wink at her and her cheeks turn a pale red. I smile at the effect I have.
“ I want you to draw me like one of your French girls” She mocks one of the famous Titanic quotes and I burst out laughing. She joins in, our laughs coursing in with one another.
“ You’re really funny,” I say regaining my breath.
“ Thanks” She says giving me a grin that meets her spectacular hazel eyes. I study her for a moment, quickly running my eyes up and down along her. She’s very fit.
“ You have beautiful eyes” I repeat the words wandering in my brain and widen my eyes when I realize what I have said. Shit…
She flushes “ Thank you Niall”
“ This has been a fun date” Shit… I did it again
“ I wasn’t aware this was a date,” She giggles at me and I feel myself relax.
“ Well only if you want it to be” I cock my head to one side as a thinking look crosses her face.
“ Date” She tests the word “ Yes, I would like that” A huge smile sweeps across her face and I can’t believe this is the girl that hated my guts 16 hours ago.
Harrys P.O.V
“ Harry you’ve been in there for 4 hours please come out and talk to us” My reluctant band members pound away at my bedroom door.
“ Harry please come out we’ve got something to show you” I sigh loudly before walking to my door and opening it.
“ What?” I snap angrily at them I notice Louis and Zayn holding magazines.
“ That Amy girl is saying you two slept together, this magazine says you paid her, this one says another story” They toss them carelessly on my bed, my eyes narrow.
“ But I didn’t do any of those things, I even came home with you guys” I find myself shouting, I understand now why Nina was so hurt.
“ I have to go to her” I walk abruptly to my chest of clothes and start pulling things out
“ Hold on here, Gemma called me and said she’s trying to get Nina to come down for your birthday” Zayn divulges. I laugh and roll my eyes
“ She’s not going to come down, she told me she wants space,” I answer quietly; trying to hide the pain it caused me.
“ If she wants space, then give it to her, let her come at her own pace” Liam pats my shoulder soothingly. He’s right.
“ Do you guys actually believe she’ll come?”
Zayn crosses his arms with each other “ We have 4 days, lets just see what happens”
Nina’s P.O.V
I hear the door open and shuffling amongst the hallway. I turn my head to the other side of my pillow and notice the time 12:09am I stand.
“ Where have you guys been?” I hiss when I see Tia and Niall making there way though the apartment
“ We went to the Statue then had icecream and then went to a fair and it was amazing” Tia rambles on about their day, I stare at the two completely stunned.
“ Is Niall staying with us now?” I rudely point to the bag in his left hand.
“ Just tonight with me, we want to watch movies” She says nonchalantly, my eyes widen, as I am taken backward with her words.
“ With you? What the fuck is going on?” They’re surprised by my outburst.
“ What’s your problem?” She hisses back at me, which I am not surprised with, Tia doesn’t take shit from anyone. At this point anger is boiling my blood, I’m mad, mad that my best friend ditches me for a boy and Niall no doubt, mad at Harry, mad at the girl in the photos, mad at every little thing present in my life. I take a deep breath and unleash all the anger built up in me from the last few days.
“ My problem? My fucking problem? Do you want to know what my problem is? Harry cheated on me, some detective from California called me and said he found a bunch of shit on my fucking dead parents, Harry and I are always arguing but you wouldn’t know any of this right? Cause where the fuck have you been Tia? Out with Niall? Just yesterday you hated him and now you two are having sleepovers?” I take a deep breath and step back, she stares at me impassively. Niall’s eyes are alert and wide.
“ You could of said something” She whispers simply.
“ What could I have said? You’re never here. This morning you ignored me and ran out with him” My hand snaps up in Nialls direction.
“ You have no right to pull this on me, you got into an accident and left me for weeks, I thought you were dead Nina” I see the tears forming in her eyes as she screams helplessly at me. “ We thought you were dead, I didn’t know what to do if I would have lost you, and to make things worse as soon as you get better you run off to London to be with Harry, without telling me, without spending so much as a day with me” I see the first tears fall from her eyes, as she catches her breath from screaming at me. I take three steps back
“ I’ve been in your life since day one Nina, and as soon as Harry got here, you would leave everything for him” She whispers frantically trying to keep her tears under control.
“ That’s not true” I say softly, seeing Tia in this state brings ache to every part of my body, she’s always so tough and put together, it takes allot to break her.
“ Tia” I see Niall tap her shoulder and engulf her in a large hug. She sobs quietly into his neck. I walk slowly over to her and take Nialls position, I squeeze onto her as tight as I can, I feel tears running down my cheeks.
“ I’m so sorry”
She pulls away and holds me at arms length.
“ I’m sorry too” She sobs and wipes her nose with the back of her hand.
“ We should go to bed” I glance at the clock on the stove, she nods and walks over to Niall.
I see the pile of mail messily tossed onto our counter top, I shuffle through it and come across something interesting.
I glance at the invitation three times over, clearly this was not Harry’s idea, its too thought out and organized, I take it Anne or Gemma arranged the invites.
“ We’re going right?” Tia says from over my shoulder
“ I don’t know” I turn my head “ You two can go”
“ My flight back to London is on Thursday” Niall informs us
“ I would love to see London” Tia turns her puffy eyes to Niall who smiles fondly at her remark
“ Then its set! Tia you can go back to London with Niall” I smile weakly at the two
“ You have to come with us Nina are you joking?” She scoffs at me, confusion lit in her and Nialls face.
“ This cheating thing, come to London and talk to Harry face to face” Motherly Tia turns on and I know she’s right.
“ Weather or not it changes things, you’ll feel better about it” A small sympathetic smile appears on her lips.
Nialls P.O.V
“ Do you and Nina fight like that allot?” I ask quietly as the movie plays, she looks up and glances over to Nina’s door making sure its closed as she went to bed not too long ago.
“ No, never, we’ve had allot of tension between us lately” I feel her shift on the couch and she’s unarguable closer to me.
“ Didn’t you come here for Nina?” She questions randomly
“ At first, but something else got in the way and my intentions have changed” I breath nervously. She blinks three times and I can’t help but notice how beautiful she is. I move my arm and wrap it around her.
“ Is this okay?” I swallow, my nerves going all over the place, she nods and smiles sweetly before placing her head on my shoulder.
The anticipation was killing me; we all sit at the couch waiting for me to dial Nina’s number. I take a deep breath.
“ Just be honest with her, everything will work out” Liam gives me kind words of advice but how could he know everything will be all right? Tom cheated on her, she was ruined, and she trusted me and I broke that trust when Amy and I kissed. It was only a kiss but it felt so wrong it made it seem like more was done. We went though this with Taylor Nina forgave me. I run my hands through my hair before dialing her number.
Ring… Ring… Ring…
“ I don’t think she’s going to answer,” I mumble
Nina’s P.O.V
A sudden vibration makes the other occupants on the train stare at me impassively. I take out my phone.
…It’s Harry. Do I answer it, If I don’t he’ll just keep calling. I swallow down the lump of tears and bat my eyes three times.
“ Hello” I speak, tone flat and dull.
“ Hi, how are you?” I decide to keep the fact I know about the kiss under wraps.
“ Fine, you?”
“ I have to tell you something”
“ Go on”
“ When I was at the club” He pauses and I hear him take a deep breath, emotions take over me.
“ You kissed that girl, yeah I know Harry, the photo and articles are plastered all over New York” My tone is cold, clipped.
“ Shit… I was hoping you hadn’t seen those yet,” He whispers and I hear him sigh
“ Apparently you two had quite the wild night” I refer back to the article in Ok magazine where the woman was saying her and Harry slept together.
“ What are you talking about?” He sounds genuinely confused. I scoff a laugh.
“ Don’t play dumb with me. I know what happened, I saw the photos”
“ It was just a ki-“ I cut him off as tears threaten to fall
“ I thought you were different, well actually I knew you used girls and went through them like tee shirts but I was stupid enough to let you in and make me think differently” My defense shield is up, I swallow back the rest of the vile remarks I want to throw at him.
“ That’s what you think?” He snaps
“ I know what I saw, everyone’s saying you’re a cheater now, I don’t know what to believe. This call verifies everything I read” My voice cracks and I clear my throat to hid it.
“ Nina, I don’t know what you read, the make up a bunch of stuff from one incident. She kissed me,” He pleads; I can tell he’s nervous.
“ That’s bullshit Harry, even if she kissed you, there has to be a reason she felt like kissing you was an option” I say quietly every word of realization breaking me.
“ Nina please…”
“ I need some space,” I say matching his low pitch
“ What?! No why?” He panics and my heart aches
“ I just need time to think, that’s all”
“ Babe please don’t push me away” He whispers frantically each syllable puncturing me.
“ Just tell me what I need to do Nina” I hear his voice break. And silent tears make their way down my face
“ I just need space Harry, I’m sorry”
“ I love you, I always will, and it will always be you” He breathes softly. The train arrives at my stop.
“ I have to go, goodbye Harry”
“ Nina, I love you” I shut my eyes tight and hang up the phone.
Niall’s P.O.V
“ No, no you have to get this one” I point to my favorite flavor on the ice cream board. Tia rolls her eyes jokingly at me, and smiles big.
“ Fine Horan I’ll get that one,” I laugh at her use of my last name.
I order the two chocolate chip banana icecreams and sit next to Tia at the bar table by the window.
“ So, what do you like to do in your spare time?” She takes a small mouth full of icecream and stifles a giggle at my attempt to make small talk.
“ I like to draw” She replies shyly “ Nina and I always draw together, I guess our love for Arts and writing is a reason we’re so close”
“ You should draw me sometime” I wink at her and her cheeks turn a pale red. I smile at the effect I have.
“ I want you to draw me like one of your French girls” She mocks one of the famous Titanic quotes and I burst out laughing. She joins in, our laughs coursing in with one another.
“ You’re really funny,” I say regaining my breath.
“ Thanks” She says giving me a grin that meets her spectacular hazel eyes. I study her for a moment, quickly running my eyes up and down along her. She’s very fit.
“ You have beautiful eyes” I repeat the words wandering in my brain and widen my eyes when I realize what I have said. Shit…
She flushes “ Thank you Niall”
“ This has been a fun date” Shit… I did it again
“ I wasn’t aware this was a date,” She giggles at me and I feel myself relax.
“ Well only if you want it to be” I cock my head to one side as a thinking look crosses her face.
“ Date” She tests the word “ Yes, I would like that” A huge smile sweeps across her face and I can’t believe this is the girl that hated my guts 16 hours ago.
Harrys P.O.V
“ Harry you’ve been in there for 4 hours please come out and talk to us” My reluctant band members pound away at my bedroom door.
“ Harry please come out we’ve got something to show you” I sigh loudly before walking to my door and opening it.
“ What?” I snap angrily at them I notice Louis and Zayn holding magazines.
“ That Amy girl is saying you two slept together, this magazine says you paid her, this one says another story” They toss them carelessly on my bed, my eyes narrow.
“ But I didn’t do any of those things, I even came home with you guys” I find myself shouting, I understand now why Nina was so hurt.
“ I have to go to her” I walk abruptly to my chest of clothes and start pulling things out
“ Hold on here, Gemma called me and said she’s trying to get Nina to come down for your birthday” Zayn divulges. I laugh and roll my eyes
“ She’s not going to come down, she told me she wants space,” I answer quietly; trying to hide the pain it caused me.
“ If she wants space, then give it to her, let her come at her own pace” Liam pats my shoulder soothingly. He’s right.
“ Do you guys actually believe she’ll come?”
Zayn crosses his arms with each other “ We have 4 days, lets just see what happens”
Nina’s P.O.V
I hear the door open and shuffling amongst the hallway. I turn my head to the other side of my pillow and notice the time 12:09am I stand.
“ Where have you guys been?” I hiss when I see Tia and Niall making there way though the apartment
“ We went to the Statue then had icecream and then went to a fair and it was amazing” Tia rambles on about their day, I stare at the two completely stunned.
“ Is Niall staying with us now?” I rudely point to the bag in his left hand.
“ Just tonight with me, we want to watch movies” She says nonchalantly, my eyes widen, as I am taken backward with her words.
“ With you? What the fuck is going on?” They’re surprised by my outburst.
“ What’s your problem?” She hisses back at me, which I am not surprised with, Tia doesn’t take shit from anyone. At this point anger is boiling my blood, I’m mad, mad that my best friend ditches me for a boy and Niall no doubt, mad at Harry, mad at the girl in the photos, mad at every little thing present in my life. I take a deep breath and unleash all the anger built up in me from the last few days.
“ My problem? My fucking problem? Do you want to know what my problem is? Harry cheated on me, some detective from California called me and said he found a bunch of shit on my fucking dead parents, Harry and I are always arguing but you wouldn’t know any of this right? Cause where the fuck have you been Tia? Out with Niall? Just yesterday you hated him and now you two are having sleepovers?” I take a deep breath and step back, she stares at me impassively. Niall’s eyes are alert and wide.
“ You could of said something” She whispers simply.
“ What could I have said? You’re never here. This morning you ignored me and ran out with him” My hand snaps up in Nialls direction.
“ You have no right to pull this on me, you got into an accident and left me for weeks, I thought you were dead Nina” I see the tears forming in her eyes as she screams helplessly at me. “ We thought you were dead, I didn’t know what to do if I would have lost you, and to make things worse as soon as you get better you run off to London to be with Harry, without telling me, without spending so much as a day with me” I see the first tears fall from her eyes, as she catches her breath from screaming at me. I take three steps back
“ I’ve been in your life since day one Nina, and as soon as Harry got here, you would leave everything for him” She whispers frantically trying to keep her tears under control.
“ That’s not true” I say softly, seeing Tia in this state brings ache to every part of my body, she’s always so tough and put together, it takes allot to break her.
“ Tia” I see Niall tap her shoulder and engulf her in a large hug. She sobs quietly into his neck. I walk slowly over to her and take Nialls position, I squeeze onto her as tight as I can, I feel tears running down my cheeks.
“ I’m so sorry”
She pulls away and holds me at arms length.
“ I’m sorry too” She sobs and wipes her nose with the back of her hand.
“ We should go to bed” I glance at the clock on the stove, she nods and walks over to Niall.
I see the pile of mail messily tossed onto our counter top, I shuffle through it and come across something interesting.
To: NINA VINCI AND TIA JONES
4398 BROADWAY AVE APPARTMENT 9
YOU ARE FORMALLY INVITED TO THE CELEBRATION OF THE 19TH BIRTHDAY OF HARRY EDWARD STYLES ON SATURDAY FEBUARY 2ND
WE WILL BE GATHERING AT 3487 CHESIRE WAY AT 8PM
HOPE ALL CAN ATTEND
- STYLES FAMILY
I glance at the invitation three times over, clearly this was not Harry’s idea, its too thought out and organized, I take it Anne or Gemma arranged the invites.
“ We’re going right?” Tia says from over my shoulder
“ I don’t know” I turn my head “ You two can go”
“ My flight back to London is on Thursday” Niall informs us
“ I would love to see London” Tia turns her puffy eyes to Niall who smiles fondly at her remark
“ Then its set! Tia you can go back to London with Niall” I smile weakly at the two
“ You have to come with us Nina are you joking?” She scoffs at me, confusion lit in her and Nialls face.
“ This cheating thing, come to London and talk to Harry face to face” Motherly Tia turns on and I know she’s right.
“ Weather or not it changes things, you’ll feel better about it” A small sympathetic smile appears on her lips.
Nialls P.O.V
“ Do you and Nina fight like that allot?” I ask quietly as the movie plays, she looks up and glances over to Nina’s door making sure its closed as she went to bed not too long ago.
“ No, never, we’ve had allot of tension between us lately” I feel her shift on the couch and she’s unarguable closer to me.
“ Didn’t you come here for Nina?” She questions randomly
“ At first, but something else got in the way and my intentions have changed” I breath nervously. She blinks three times and I can’t help but notice how beautiful she is. I move my arm and wrap it around her.
“ Is this okay?” I swallow, my nerves going all over the place, she nods and smiles sweetly before placing her head on my shoulder.
Notes
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2/22/16