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The Only Hope For Me Is You

Fix What You've Done

You’ve just proven to me that it can.

Those are the last words Harry had said to me before rushing away. He left me there angry and confused. That’s all I ever am around him. Confused with his impending secrets and pissed off he doesn’t tell me them. I don’t know how to make conversation so I substitute it with questions and that’s something I can’t help. I was home schooled, never had a friend in my life, constantly being locked in the house. That’s the kind of childhood I lead. Everything was a lie. I never experienced love and I don’t know how to even reach that type of feeling. I don’t know how to find someone likable, everyone right now is suspicious to me. Is that wrong?

All of this freedom is bad for me. I wasn’t taught how to properly talk to people, and its showing. It seems like I’m making everyone around me angry and that is far from my intention. I want to experience happiness. I crave the feeling of being wanted by someone who doesn’t need to feel obligated to love me such as family members. I love my aunt and uncle and cousins but it’s not the same. I want to make my own mark on someone that hasn’t known me. And so far it seems like I never will. Am I too far gone? Have I been pushed to the point to where I can’t change? But he said I had or it had? I'm so confused.

When I got back to the house Korra was in the shower so I just sat on my bed waiting for her. When she walked in the room she shrieked but as soon as she looked at the clock she became confused.

“Holl, what are you doing home so early?” Because I’m incapable of having a life.

Is there something wrong with me?” I ask her. She becomes serious real quickly.

“Why would you think that, what happened?” she asks with a frown on her face.

“I found out.” I quietly say. Her eyes get big and she looks excited.

“He finally told you! This is great! We can go to their concert and get backstage because you guys are friends and-“ she stops mid rant as she sees the look on my face.

“He didn’t tell me Korra. He never planned on telling me.” I tell her.

I shake my head trying to control the emotions that I try so hard to keep in. I didn't expect something like this to hurt me. Nothing ever works out for me. He invites me to his house with his friends all for some game because they are bored.

“He said that?” she asks getting angry.

“Well no-“ I begin but she cuts me off.

“Don’t just assume the worst Holl, did you ever think there might be a reason why he was keeping It from you? Instead of creating your own story, why not pay attention to what’s actually going on around you. ” She rants.

She’s right. I wasn’t paying attention to what was going on around me. I just made up things in my mind and assumed they were judging me, playing games, and were disappointed in me. The only thing I remember was them staring at me and I didn’t even gage their reactions. I’m so caught up in my past that I’m ruining my future.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” I reply.

I shouldn’t be the one you’re apologizing to.” She says sternly. She expects me to talk to him again?

“Korra, I don’t think I could even talk to him. I made him so mad. You should have seen the look on his face.” I complain. I’m being a coward.

“That’s your problem Holland. You think. Do what you need to do, not what you think you need to do. What made him mad? How did you find out in the first place?” she asks.

“His bandmates told me by accident, one of them said they weren’t supposed to. And, he was mad because I referred to him as being famous.” I explain.

“He’s a person Holland, you labeled him, I would have been angry too. As for the bandmates part I don’t know what to tell you on that, maybe the one was supposed to tell the others not to but didn’t?” She tells me. I understand now. That’s why Louis kept cursing and shaking his head. What does she mean by label though?

“Label him. What does that mean?” I ask. She shakes her head and sighs.

“You didn’t even know why half the things were going on or being said did you?” she asks me. Of course I didn’t, I don’t even know why he invited me over. I just thought it was to answer my questions.

“I guess I didn’t, and do you blame me? I haven’t had a proper conversation with anyone before and you know that!” I say desperately. She is the only person I’ve ever talked to.

“Then that’s what you tell him! Why don’t you give him the truth for a change?” She has a point. I’m just afraid that if I start telling him the truth he’ll start asking more questions that I’m not willing to answer. I guess that’s how he felt in the first place though.

“How do you expect me to do that?” I ask her.

“You have his address don’t you?” she says raising her eyebrow at me. I gulp loudly.

“No, no way” I tell her. That’s way too embarrassing what if his friends are still there, I wouldn’t be able to apologize or even talk in front of all those people.

“Don’t you say no, you march down there and apologize.” She says all mother like. I know she’s going to make me. I would even expect her to take me by the ear and walk me down herself.

“I can’t just show up to his house unexpected” I try and reason with her.

“Who says you can’t” Damn another good point. I really do want to see him again, even though I’m not sure why. There’s just something about him, that makes me want to let him in.

“No one.” I say. Okay, I’ll just go and tell him the truth. What’s the harm?

“See Holl, you’re thinking again.” She tells me.

“I know just shut up already.” She’s getting on my nerves now.

“You’re going.” She says

“Okay!”

“Right now.” Huh? Is she crazy. I just came home. The fight just ended! I don’t think he’s had enough time to cool off yet.

“What. No! He’s still mad right now. I’ll go later!”

“I swear to god Holland, I will take you down there right now myself.” She starts to stand up. I knew it. She seriously would, it’s just as I thought.

“No, I’ll go by myself!” I tell her pushing her back down. She gives me a smug look which is just screaming ‘I Win’. Okay, she’s not so stupid all of the time.

“Well then, get going.” She says.

I sigh and roll my eyes. I turn around and walk out the bedroom door. I grab my coat before I walk out the front door.


As I walk up to his house I think about what I’m going to tell him and how much I actually can tell him. When I get to the front door I hear banging from inside. I quickly knock on the door. It takes a while for someone to answer the door and when its opened I’m face to face with Louis. Again. What is up with him and answering other peoples doors? He stares at me for a second before glaring.

“I don’t think now’s a great time.” He says quickly. I hear another crash from inside, like the time Harry dropped the salad bowl. I give him a questioning look and he tenses up.

“I’m sorry but I really need to talk to him, Louis. I need to explain something so please let me in.” I beg him.

He looks at me waging whether to let me in or not. After a while he sighs and steps to the side. I cautiously walk through the door and head down the hall. There’s no sign of anyone but Louis so far so the others must have gone somewhere. I walk further into the room we were in before and gasp as I see a bunch of broken items. Glass is shattered on the floor along with plates and cups. I turn around to question Louis, but he gives me a knowing look before walking away and back down the hallway.

What’s going on? Why is there so much broken glass around?
I ask myself. I walk further into the kitchen to find more broken stuff. When I turn around I have to hold in a shriek. There is someone leaning against the counter near the fridge. I slowly look up from the persons shirt util I finally reach their face. I knew it.

My eyes are met with angry green ones.

Notes

Hi! Here's chapter 9! YaY! hehe!

Can anyone guess what Holland has been hiding about her past?!

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I picture Harry looking like this at the end

Comments

@XOXOH
I'm trying for tomorrow I just went back to school and my professor surprised us with a ten page essay... Goodly :(

JustBreate JustBreate
2/13/14

Update when you can babe Xx

XOXOH XOXOH
2/6/14

@XOXOH
Haha yeah but a secret always comes with more ;)

JustBreate JustBreate
1/21/14

@ANormalGirl
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you like it so far! I'll post another chapter today!

JustBreate JustBreate
1/21/14

Thank you for giving us this little treat!!! I think its a good thing that Holland kbows the truth now. It could make it easier on the guys and Harry now. That was a big secret to try and keep

XOXOH XOXOH
1/21/14