I told Korra I shouldn’t have come this early. The look he’s giving me right now is making me feel sick to my stomach. His face is almost in a scowl green eyes piercing mine, so much anger in one look. And what’s the most frightening is that I’m the one who put it there. I look closely and his breathing is irregular, trying to calm himself down, but it doesn’t seem like his attempts are working. I look down at his hand and there is a long cut on the side of it. I realize that he was the one who broke all of the glass and plates that were meant for the dinner, he caused all this damage. But why would he be this mad? I mean absolutely nothing to him we just meet two weeks ago. I don’t understand how I made him this angry!

Okay, calm down Holland.

What did Korra say about overthinking? Don’t. I have to tell him the truth. I just hope that he will listen.

“Har-“ I begin, but he cuts me off.

“Go away.” He says in between breaths. It takes everything in me not to do as he says. I’m so scared right now that I can’t think.

“Please, please list-“ I try to get out but he doesn’t have it. It confuses me why I care so much, after all I barely know him. Why do I care so much?

“Go. Away.” He says the same as the first time but more broken up. I take a step towards him and he backs up as far as he can into the counter. I reach out to him and he is acting as if I’m about to stab him. What’s wrong with him?

“Listen to me.” I say demandingly. I flinch at my own words, not intending them to come out so harsh. He gives me a strange expression until he laughs at me, mockingly.

“Why should I? You’ve already showed me it’s impossible!” he says mid chuckle.

He has a very valid point. He doesn’t need to listen to me. This could be so easy, all I have to do is walk away. But this is not easy. I intend to make him listen. Impossible? What’s impossible? He takes my silence as his cue to walk out of the kitchen, glass crunching under his feet. I look at the ground in defeat.

I can’t let him go. I think, and before I know it words are tumbling out of my mouth at a very fast pace.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say, but I haven’t done anything like this before, I didn’t mean to make you angry, I’m sorry that I said the things I did, I didn’t know anything, I didn’t know you were in a band and truthfully I’ve never heard of it before. I know this sounds weird but I haven’t actually had a real conversation with anyone before. I got so carried away with my own selfish questions that I didn’t think to actually talk to you. I had a bad upbringing so I never got the chance to talk to someone before, And when you talked to me at the party, it well, it meant a lot to me. It was the first time someone actually went out of their way and wanted to talk to me. But when you kept wanting to meet up and wanted to talk to me I got scared and just started asking stupid questions and I turned everything into an interrogation, and when you kept getting mad at me I didn’t know what to do except ask more questions, so I’m sorry, I didn’t know it would come to this. All I was trying to do was be your friend.” I take a huge breath and squeeze my eyes shut after my little schpeal and wait for what’s to come. My voice was shaking the whole time. No one has ever made me this nervous before.

He's going to make me leave

I take my eyes off of the ground to look at him. He’s standing with his back toward me about to exit the room, but stopped when I started to ramble on about how much of an idiot I am. I’m so embarrassed, and I never thought I’d be telling him any of this. His breathing has calmed down which relieves some of the tension in the room. The silence in the room is so loud right now it’s hard not to speak just to end it.

“I think you should go now.” He says in a monotone voice, not even bothering to look at me. His words hit me hard.

I don’t want whatever this is to end yet! I still want to talk to him and get to know him!

I realize how selfish my thoughts are because i already had that chance and i ruined it just like everything else in my life. Everything's over.

I move my feet and walk past him, not looking at his face, I don’t think I could take it right now. I want to run, cry even, but my feet won’t go any faster and my eye’s won’t give me the privilege of a tear. I really am a horrible person, just like they said.

They.

They were right, their always right, those voices telling me that I can never have anybody and that no one will ever want me.

I don’t even realize someone was blocking my way until I slam into their chest. I look up hoping to see green eyes but I don’t. It’s Louis. Instead of yelling at me I didn’t expect the small smile that comes to his face. He smiles at me and moves closer toward my ear.

“He’ll come around sooner or later. Thank you.” He whispers before walking up the stairs.

He’s going to come around? Does that mean I can have hope of talking to him again? My stomach does something weird and I almost feel giddy. This is so not like me at all, what is this? I mean, I don’t even know if it’s going to happen. Wait. Why did he thank me? I think I just made everything worse, I was just told to leave. Again. So there’s no point in thanking me. I am always so confused around these people.

As I walk out the front door I turn around and find Harry leaning against the wall of the kitchen, expression unreadable but soft. He isn’t looking at me and I don’t even think he knows I’m still here. I’ve been standing in the doorway for a couple minutes after Louis's departure up the stairs. I notice his mouth is moving as if he is talking to himself, but I don’t hear anything coming from it.

Is he… Singing?

I try to listen more carefully but I still don’t hear anything. The only thing is that his lips are moving quickly. I need to leave, it’s like I’m a crazy person standing here when I’m clearly not wanted right now. As I turn around and grab the handle to the door I hear his footsteps walking toward me. I yank the door open quickly and I’m out of sight in seconds, sprinting down the street. When I look back he's walking outside his door. That was so close! I don’t know what he would have done if he saw that I was still standing there. Hell, I don’t know what I would have done if he saw me still standing there!

I take the small route back to my aunt and uncle’s house and walk up to the room Korra and I share. There’s a note on my bed from Korra saying she went to sleep over her friend Elise’s house.

Thank god, I can wallow in self-pity now

I look over at the clock and it read’s 12:12. It’s already so late! It feels like the disastrous dinner was just a couple minutes ago. I should probably just go to bed. Instead of going straight to bed I grab some night clothes from my drawers so i can go take a shower. I walk to the bathroom to take my shower and wash my face.

---

After my thirty minute shower i step out and begin to dress myself also taking care of my friend... I really hate mother nature sometimes. I brush and blowdry my hair because i hate sleeping on wet hair it reminds me of sea weed wrapped around your legs at the beach but on your head...even worse. As I walk back into my room I nearly shriek. Someone’s sitting on my bed. I turn on the lights and am greeted with curious green ones. Wait…What?

"You sure took a long time." Harry states without emotion, eyeing my freshly showered appearance.

“How the hell did you get in here?!” I whisper. It’s a little bit creepy, yet so relaxing at the same time that he’s here… in my room. I think there’s seriously something wrong with me.

“The front door? You know you should really lock it, someone might try to get in.” he says matter of factly and if the answer is obvious.

“Ha Ha. Very funny.” I say sarcastically “Is there a reason you broke into my house and better yet my bed room? What if decided not to get dressed in the bathroom and I was oh I don’t know, naked?” I ask jokingly. He looks up at me and cracks a smirk and an eyebrow.

“Do you really want me to answer that? I don’t know if you’d appreciate it.” he says cheekily with a huge smirk on his lips. Woah.

I can feel the rush of blood to my cheeks and don’t try to hide my now red face. I didn’t expect him to say anything like that. Especially not that uhm what's the word... Perverted? But what would I know I barely know him. He chuckles at my expression but then becomes, well, almost shy I guess or maybe serious? I don’t know it’s hard to tell with him.

“I erm… I know it’s late but I couldn’t wait any longer than this, because I don’t have much time left here.” He says honestly. He must have to go uhm sing live soon, I know a little bit about that from a magazine I read once, that bands put on a concert series… I think.

“Oh.” I say stupidly. I still don’t know why he came. But, I hope it’s not to end things. I start to panic at the thought of losing the first person who’s ever talked to me.

“Was what you said really true? Do you really want to be my friend?” He asks sounding unsure.

Why would I not want to be his friend? What has happened to make him question everything he does? I decided it doesn’t even matter.

“Yeah I really do, you’re the first person whose even talked to me remember?” I remind him.

“Why is that? Is it because of what you said earlier… about your uhm upbringing?” he asks me.

Shit. I can’t let him know that. At least not right now, I don’t want to freak him out. I’m surprised he even remembered what I said.

“I uh… yeah.” I try and avoid the subject by giving him a simple response. I don’t want any more pitying from anyone. He sees my hesitance and changes the subject.

“Well, why don’t we hangout tomorrow then?” he asks me nonchalantly.

“Tomorrow would be a school day, but after I would love too.” I say trying to tease him. His eyes widen and a slight blush comes to his face.

“Oh, I’ve completely forgotten about school, I haven’t been in a while. I’ll pick you up at?” He questions me.

“How about four?” I ask him. Four gives me enough time to freshen up after a long day of shit. I hate school but at least I have something to look forward to now.

“Four.” He smirks at me. He begins to stand up and walks to the door. Just before he walks out he turns back to me.

“By the way, tomorrow I get to ask the questions.” He smiles and winks at me before exiting my room.

Questions?

I don’t know what to think about that. There’s not a lot I can tell him.

I turn off the light and get in bed. All i can think about is all the dreaded questions he’s going to ask me tomorrow, that are all going to lead to my past.

Shit.

Notes

Hiiii! Sorry i haven't updated in a while school just started up and my teacher just had to surprise me with a 10 page research paper! :( haha and there is still one more to go for my other class! Isn't life lovely?! Anywho here's the next chapter for you guys! Next chapter will explain a bit about Holland's dark past an why Harry is so weird about having friends :)

Who do you think Holland refers to as They?
Do you think Louis is right? Will Harry come around?
Why do you think no one's ever talked to Holland before?


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